by Ella Goode
Between the three of us, I don’t think we had more than five hours of sleep a night. It was better than dwelling on the photos from back home that show Cherry hugging some asshole in a diner. She texted me that she was moving into a trailer, which I thought was great because she’s wanted to get away from her parents.
What wasn’t great was that I spotted the same asshole carrying boxes into that trailer. I didn’t say anything, though, because I’m not there. Someone needs to help her and I’m not going to be one of those guys who is going to make his girl carry her own shit. The sooner the album is done, the sooner Cherry will be able to be with me and the only person who will be touching any of her stuff will be me. That was my driving motivation and it worked.
The studio was rank, too, filled with pizza boxes, Chinese takeout, and cans of beer, Red Bull, and soda. We made a marginal effort of cleaning it up before Treat arrived. Nick sprayed an entire bottle of air freshener and I used a thousand bleach wipes on every surface. It’s definitely better, but it still has a faint lingering odor of sweat and anxiety, which is only getting stronger the longer the silence stretches out.
Finally, he pushes away from the mixing board and straightens. “You really did it, you little shits.”
A feeling of panic whirls up and I’m torn between wanting to face up and puke when a broad grin stretches across Treat’s face. “It’s fucking good.” He slaps me across the back hard enough that I sway.
Nick throws his sticks up in the air and Benjy slides off the chair onto the floor and buries his hands between his knees.
“Let’s get some backing vocals on tracks three, eight and ten and then send the thing off to be mastered.” He checks something on his phone. “It looks like my guy is busy until Thursday so you guys should take some time off and do something fun.” He glances around the room. “Maybe get some fresh air.”
As soon as he leaves, we start yelling. It’s a soundproof room and we need to let off steam. We play the album from start to finish--all ten songs--on repeat until Nick announces he’s hungry. At the apartment, we take turns showering. Nick goes first and when he’s done, he starts cooking. It’s just homemade spaghetti and meatballs, but it tastes better than anything we’ve eaten in weeks.
“You’re going to make someone a good husband,” I joke as I scrape my fork across the empty plate to scoop up the very last of the cheese and red sauce.
“I know. It’s because I’ve got a big dick,” he says.
“No. He’s talking about your cooking,” Benjy corrects.
“In the bedroom. The cooking I do in the bedroom. I mix the batter with my dick.” Nick stands up and makes swiveling motions with his hips, which causes Benjy to throw a wadded paper towel in Nick’s face. Nick retaliates by throwing the last of his water toward Benjy. Before a war can start, I step in between the two with my arm stretched out.
“As a reminder, anything you end up throwing we’re going to have to clean,” I remind the two.
Benjy heaves out a sigh and puts his can of beer back on the table. “Let’s get out of here,” he suggests.
“Sure,” I shrug. “Where?”
“I have an idea.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
Nick wiggles his eyebrows. “Leave it to me and my massive dick.”
“I don’t want anything to do with your dick,” I tell him.
“Same. Hard same from me,” Benjy chimes.
“Trust me!” Nick says.
We should not have trusted him. The outside of the establishment is harmless enough. It’s got an all brick front and no signage. It’s the no signage that is the dead giveaway. That and the endless stream of sausage walking through the entrance. It might as well have a neon sign that says strip club.
“No.” I turn back to get into the cab, but it’s already sped away.
“Come on, man. This will be fun. You don’t even have to touch. That costs extra. We’re just going to unwind.” Nick tries to cajole me.
“No.” I open my rideshare app.
“This isn’t a terrible idea,” Benjy says.
I glance at him over the edge of my phone. “Not you, too.” Is he still feeling the sting of rejection from the beach babes? “There’s gonna be so many girls after you once we go on tour,” l promise them.
“It’s not that.” Benjy shakes his head. “It’s unhealthy how you’ve just ignored the evidence that Cherry has moved on. She knew that telling you that you were breaking up wasn’t gonna work. You wouldn’t accept it. So she’s providing you visible evidence that she’s got a new life. And it doesn’t include you. I didn’t wanna say anything before because it sucks, but I think it’s just time for you to let her go. That’s what she wants.”
“No.” But even as I say the word, I realize I’m confirming Benjy‘s statement. No matter what Cherry said to me, I wouldn’t believe her. If she said she wanted to break up, I would assume that it’s because she thinks I want to break up or that the distance is too much for me to handle. Haven’t I told her time and again that she just needs to wait for me? I scrub my hand across my mouth. All I’ve ever wanted in this world is for Cherry to be happy, but what if her happiness includes a life without me? Is my love for her that real? I lick my suddenly very dry lips. “I still need the words.”
“Then ask her. You’ve been ignoring it for the past couple weeks. Straight-out ask her. Has she moved on?”
“And tell her you understand so she doesn’t feel like shit,” Nick adds.
So that’s what I do even though it makes me want to puke.
Cherry. I’ve seen some stuff from back home and it makes me think you are moving on from me. I just want to know if that’s how you really feel. Because I love you but I don’t want to hold you down. You should be happy. If you don’t want to come to LA. If you’re happy doing what you’re doing. Then I’m happy.
I stare at the message. I don’t want to send it. But if my selfishness is making her miserable, then that’s the wrong kind of love.
Chapter Twenty
Cherry
I stare down at the phone in shock. I push the pizza I’d been eating away, no longer hungry. He’s seen stuff from back home? What kind of stuff? What does that even mean? He’s been acting weird this past week. I thought maybe it was all the stress he was under to try to get the tracks down so I didn’t ask too much.
Then I thought it might have bothered him when I moved out into the trailer. He said it was a great idea but since then things have been different. I don’t know what has changed, but the space between us keeps growing. I keep trying to make the best decisions for the both of us, but it seems I’m only making things worse.
“What?” Brian snatches my phone out of my hand, reading the text.
“What the fuck does that mean? He doesn't have the balls to call you?” I open my mouth to defend Linc, but no words come out. Why didn't he call me? This is not something you discuss over a text. We’ve been through a lot of things together, and if he was feeling a certain type of way, he should have picked up the phone.
“Do you think it sounds like he thinks I’m cheating?” I ask Brian to make sure I’m not reading it wrong. I have to say the fact that he thinks I would do that to him burns my butt. I’ve been nothing but loyal and supportive of him and his career.
“This does not sound like the Linc you’re always telling me about.” He studies the phone. I’m guessing he’s reading the text again. He clicks on it.
“Don’t text him.” I try to grab the phone back from him. He steps back out of my reach.
“I’m not.” My phone vibrates in Brian’s hand, causing his whole face to turn angry.
“What? Is it from him? Did he say something else?”
“Cherry.” His voice is soft. It’s clear he doesn't want to tell me.
“What?” I ask again, causing him to turn the phone around. He clicks into Linc’s name and pulls up his location. “Is that--” I trail off not finishing my words. I shake my head no. The
re is no way that Linc would go to a strip club. That is so unlike him. But so was the text he sent. A deep sadness threatens to overtake me with the realization that maybe I don’t know what he’s like anymore. A knot forms in my stomach at that thought.
I turn, running toward my bathroom. I barely make it in before I’m throwing up the pizza Brian brought over to my place when he got off work tonight. We hang out most nights. I am still the only one that knows Brian’s secret. I’d bet his parents know too but are waiting for him to tell them. But I don’t push him. He’ll do it when he’s ready.
“Cherry.” Brian grabs a rag for me. I take it from his hand, wiping my mouth.
“He’s trying to break up with me, isn't he? He wants me to break it off so he doesn’t have to.” It was all in the way he worded the text. I love you but if you want to move on... More tears slip down my face. “They were supposed to be my family.” Brian sits down on the floor with me, pulling me in for a hug.
What hurts is I know Nick and Benjy are with him. Are they not telling him he’s crazy? How do I move on from him? From them? They’re all I’ve ever known. They were the ones who loved me when no one else did. Turns out that love isn’t convenient for them anymore.
“Cherry, girl. You’re killing me here.” I sniffle, looking up at Brian. My whole world feels like it’s falling apart. If he thinks I’m cheating on him, will he then think our baby isn't his? It hurts that he would think any of these things. How the hell am I going to tell him about the baby now?
“Am I hard to love? Did I do something wrong? I don’t understand.” My tears break free. I thought I’d been doing the right thing helping the boys follow their dreams. Getting myself and my life in order so that if things don’t work out with the music thing that we’d still have a future.
“Cherry, you are not hard to love. I can promise you that.”
“I’m having his baby.”
“You’re having your baby and I’m going to be here with you. I’m going to be a killer uncle.” I smile at that. He will be. And even though my entire world seems like it’s falling apart, I take comfort in knowing that I have someone here by my side.
“I don’t understand.”
“People change. We’ve all heard how fame and money can go to people's heads.” I want to refuse to believe that this is happening. Could they have changed so much in such a short time? My heart refuses to believe that it’s true. Linc and I have been together for so long that this can’t be the way it ends.
“Give me my phone.” I reach out my hand. Brian looks as though he doesn’t want to but eventually hands my phone to me. “I’m going to call him. That’s the only way this is going to get resolved. I want to hear him say it.”
“I’ll be right here if you need me.” I hug him before I pick up the phone and press the button to call Linc. Nerves threaten to make me sick again, but I know that I need to do this. It rings a bunch of times before his voicemail picks up. I drop the phone from my ear.
“Guess it’s loud in strip clubs.” I can’t keep the anger out of my voice. I’ve gone from sad to mad. My emotions are all over the place. I drop my phone down on the counter to wash my hands. Brian stands there watching me.
“Movie?” he asks. “We can log into my Netflix.”
“Yeah.” I leave my phone on the counter. If he wants to talk to me he’ll figure it out. For tonight I am done. I don’t think I can take much more.
Chapter Twenty-One
Linc
“I’ve been holding her back,” I explain to the stripper as I shove a handful of popcorn into my mouth.
She hands me a napkin. “How so?”
I wipe my mouth and take a drink before answering. I need to collect my thoughts so I can fully explain to Miss Diana how amazing Cherry is and the shitty circumstances of her life. “She’s eighteen, right? But she’s been taking care of herself since she was at least twelve, if not earlier. Her parents are deadbeats. They don’t have much money, but that’s not anything out of the ordinary. No one in Shindale has money. The thing is that as soon as they get a dime, they are spending it on vacations and other worthless crap. They forget to pay the bills so sometimes Cherry has to come to my house to shower because her hot water has been turned off or she has to do her homework at the library because the electricity is gone. Sometimes her parents remember her and give her a paycheck that she carefully budgets to get her through until the next time her worthless ‘rents come to their senses.”
“That’s abuse,” Miss Diana exclaims as she fills my glass to the rim.
“I know.” I down half the drink. It’s some hard liquor mix with some sweetness. I never drink. Miss D calls it a Cherry Bomb because the sweetness doesn’t hit you until the end. I wanted to text Cherry and tell her that I found the perfect drink named after her, but my phone’s dead.
I’ll have to get Miss D to tell me how to make it, although maybe Cherry wouldn’t mind coming here. It is a strip club, but it’s a nice one. I was surprised. It doesn’t have that seedy quality that you see in movies. Instead, it was like a library with low lights and little stages and private rooms. Nick and Benjy are in some booth being entertained by a woman and by that I mean if she’s shy of thirty, I’ll be shocked. Miss Diana found me sitting on the floor near the bathroom, staring at my phone.
I might’ve had tears in my eyes. I don’t know. But she felt sorry for me and brought me into this private room to feed me snacks and booze. With my tongue loosened by several Cherry Bombs, my sorry story tumbled out—about how Cherry and I are high school sweethearts, how my band got discovered by Treats, how we moved out here to LA about two months ago and I’ve only been able to see Cherry once, how I think she’s cheating on me but I don’t care because I deserve it.
“So I thought, I’ll work hard and get this album done and then Cherry can come out here, but it’s dumb to think I can save her. She’s the smart one. I’m only”—I hold up my hands—“good with the guitar. Half of me,” I confess, “wants to fly back, kidnap Cherry, and bring her back to LA, but I think I need more money for that plan.”
Miss D’s eyebrows go up, but she says nothing, only refills my drink.
“I’m just saying that Cherry deserves a good prison. A really luxe one. Treats put us up in this massive suite on the top floor of a hotel down on Rodeo Drive. That’s the type of prison I’m going to make for Cherry.” I hold a finger up to my lips. “Don’t tell anyone.”
Miss D zips a finger across her lips. I hiccup and drain the glass. “She deserves the best.”
“You’ll give it to her.”
“Yeah, I will.” My eyelids are feeling heavy. “I think I’m going to pass out, Miss D.”
“Go ahead. I’ll call Treats and let him know you’re going to sleep here.”
“You know Treats?”
The stripper smiles. “How do you think you ended up here? Treats thought you needed to unwind, although I don’t think he had this in mind when he called.”
She gets to her feet, not tottering even once on heels that are higher than my amp. I let my eyelids fall shut and let myself be transported into dreamland.
Cherry’s waiting for me with a bright smile across her face. She runs toward me. I pick her up and swing her around because even though it’s cheesy and cliché, it’s still fun as fuck. She throws her head back and laughs. The sound of her happiness makes my dick swell. Oh, who am I kidding, just hearing her name makes me hard. “Cherry, baby, I missed you.” She slides down until her sex comes in contact with my hard-on. It’s my dream so no one’s around and suddenly our clothes are gone. I lay her down on the soft grass and take one ripe tit into my mouth. Her nipple hardens on my tongue. I reach between her legs and slide my fingers into her ripe, juicy pussy. “Wet for me, are you?” I mouth around her breast.
“Always,” she admits.
“Same for me. I’m always hard for you.” I scissor my fingers inside her cunt and enjoy the feeling of the hot suck of the channel around my digits.
Time for my dick. I fit the head of my cock at her entrance and rise up above her body. She stares at me with trust and love. “Let’s make a baby,” I tell her. If we had a kid, she’d never leave me. We’d be bound together forever.
A slow smile spreads across her beautiful face. “Really?”
“Yeah. I want to see your stomach big with my kid. I want us to be a family.”
She drags me down so our mouths meet. “Then give me a baby, Linc.”
I shove inside of her, fucking her with long, hard strokes until she’s a trembling mess around my dick. She begs me to stop and in the next breath, orders me to fuck her harder. I keep going until her cream coats my dick and her screams of ecstasy ring in my ears. Cum shoots out, filling her cunt, swimming up the stream of her love into her womb. Yeah, we’re making a baby.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cherry
I rub the sleep out of my eyes as I reach for my phone. I almost roll off the sofa, forgetting I’m not in my bed. Yesterday was emotionally exhausting for me and I’m guessing that I crashed.
“Careful.” I look over to see Brian standing in my kitchen drinking a glass of orange juice.
“I passed out.” I sit up, looking around for my phone. Thoughts of everything that happened yesterday threaten to overwhelm me. Is it possible I was dreaming? Tears threaten to spill from my eyes, but I close them tightly, still holding on to the hope that it was all a dream.
“A good cry will do that to you. A lot happened yesterday, it’s understandable.”
“So it was real? Great.” I stand remembering I left my phone in the bathroom. I make a b-line for it, hoping that all of this was a misunderstanding. That my life isn’t a mess.
“I’ll make pancakes,” Brian calls after me. I find my phone. I will myself not to cry when I don’t see any missed calls or texts from Linc. I give in, calling him. It goes straight to voicemail this time. I try to track him but get nothing.
