“Right. But did I hear him correctly that he’s considering you as his deputy?”
In all honesty, I think that Oliver wants Hoyt as his second because that motherfucker is a puppet and because he also enjoys toying with us, dangling the opportunity in front of our eyes and watching us trying to win his favor.
I don’t say any of it to Dad.
“I think getting close to Oliver, becoming his second could help cement the kind of relationship that Lord Wellesley favors. After all, I’m a Gamma and so is he. He attended college at Yale. There’s also the girls. Rena and Karen have been besties for twenty years and this is how Hudson Marina was actually suggested, through our wives. It’s good that Kaya got accepted as a Zeta pledge. Valeria seems to have taken a shine to your sister.”
“Right.” I stiffen a little at the ‘sister’ comment. I hate when Dad does that, like a constant reminder of his expectations when it comes to Chase and my relationship with Kaya. I didn’t miss the way he’s been looking at Chase every time he’s caught him near Kaya. I need to speak to my brother, we were doing pretty well staying away from our stepsister all summer but lately, I’ve noticed a change in him. Even before that fucking party kiss.
“So you’re asking that we become friends with Oliver and Valeria?”
Dad shrugs. “Not per se. But since you kids gravitate in the same social circles, a good relationship with them couldn’t hurt. As I said Karen and Rena are good friends, all I really want is to make sure that the whole presidency thing doesn’t drive a wedge between you and Oliver. Anything more is definitely a plus. We’ve been invited to a family weekend on the ‘Queen Rena’, Henry’s private yacht in two weeks. Henry should have made a decision by then. We’ll work every business angle. The Wellesleys are a good contact to have in general, anyway. So we need to make sure that even if we don’t get this contract, we keep a good rapport with them.”
I leave Dad’s office with a lot on my mind, walking toward the dining room in search of Chase who’s my ride back to Bridgeport.
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone pinging with a text message. I’m surprised to see that the incoming text is from Valeria, she must’ve gotten my number from Oliver because I didn’t give it to her, we haven’t really talked enough.
She’s asking me to go to next weekend’s end of summer bonfire with her as her date.
My first instinct is to say no. Last year I’d bring a date to events like that. It didn’t really matter who, any pretty girl would do because no one could ever fill the void left in my heart by the only girl I wanted.
I shake my head at my own foolishness. Fucking any of those girls was never an issue. I’d do it because I knew they wanted it and because I’m still a hot-blooded man and I have needs. Maybe a part of me even hoped that one of those girls would turn into something more than just a hookup. That one of those girls could make me forget Kaya.
Obviously it never worked and after having Jasmine on my arm for most of the summer, to try and keep Kaya at arm’s length, I concluded that it was a lost cause.
I am a lost cause. Whatever I do, whoever I hang out with, doesn’t change what my fucking stubborn heart wants. Who I want. So I decided to go stag, because with Kaya nearby there’s no way I could ever think about hooking up with anyone.
It’s simply impossible because Kaya is all I can think about. It’s a fucking obsession.
When I know we’re in the same room, I’ve perfected the art of tracking her movements without being noticed. When we’re not together, she’s all I can think about.
I breathe for her, I live for her. And if I can’t have her, I want her to be happy. Even if it’s with my two best friends in the entire world. The only thing that represents a little nugget of comfort for my devastated heart is that kiss three years ago. I gave her her first kiss and she’s been thinking about it all this time. Even if she doesn’t know it was me.
It’s stupid, I know. I should forget about that night but knowing that with that kiss I made her fall for me it’s a small consolation. It tells me that if things had been different, maybe she wouldn’t have chosen Chase. Maybe I would’ve stood a chance.
But things aren’t different and it’s clear that Dad hasn’t had any change of heart when it comes to us being Kaya’s big brothers. And maybe Chase needs reminding of that because I’ve seen the way he’s been looking at her lately, when he thinks that no one’s paying attention. When I think that he kissed her at that party, I see red.
Anyway, I’ll try to find the right moment to talk to my brother. Definitely not on the drive home because I know for a fact that straight after being around Kaya, we’re always on edge and it usually takes us a few days to calm down.
I stare at my phone screen, still open on Valeria’s text message and an idea forms in my head. I know that Dad doesn’t expect me to date Valeria to secure a business deal. He would never ask anything like that of his children. But a date or two couldn’t hurt, right? Form a friendship with her, since I fucking hate her stepbrother. I don’t want to use her or anything like that, I’m not going to promise her anything I can’t give her but there’s nothing wrong with hanging out, right?
And then if that helps with this huge business deal, that’s definitely a plus. The way I see it, it’s a win-win situation: I don’t offend Valeria by turning her down, I have someone on my arm and at the same time, I keep Dad happy both by staying away from Kaya and helping cement a relationship with our future business partner. What could ever go wrong?
9.
The Bonfire Of The Vanities
Kaya
“GIVE ME A KISS, PRINCESS.” Chase cages me between my front door that I just locked and his tall, muscular body. I haven’t really seen much of the guys all week between our college classes starting in full swing and my engagements as a Zeta pledge, so tonight I’m beside myself with excitement at the idea of going to the end of summer bonfire jointly organized by the Zetas and the Gammas.
Chase’s lips are soft and daring in a feverish way, I guess he missed me as much as I’ve missed him.
For the first time since that night in Star Cove, I kiss him back with just a minimum amount of guilt because there’s no more secrets with Bryce and Parker.
They agreed to share me with Chase.
Fuck when I put it that way it sounds a little dirty, I think with a little giggle that makes Chase pause his attack on my lips.
“Does the fact that I missed you like fucking crazy make you giggle, princess?” he asks with his lips still on mine, cupping one of my buttocks with one of his huge hands and pulling me closer to him, making me feel his growing excitement.
“No, I—” Shit, my mind is in the gutter and my first instinct would be to change topic but then I rethink the whole situation. During the summer I got used to being open with Parker and Bryce about my desires. Especially after we spent an afternoon home alone and things definitely heated up a few notches between the three of us.
So I look into Chase’s dark blue eyes and I decide to open my heart to him the same way I would with his two best friends.
“I was thinking about how it would feel having Parker and Bryce kiss me at the same time as you do,” I say dragging my lips along his jaw and closing my eyes when Chase presses his body harder against mine.
“You were thinking about my friends while I’m kissing you?” he growls grabbing my chin and nipping at my bottom lip, his eyes dilated in surprise. “I don’t know if I could watch you with them, Kaya. I can share because you love them and so do I, but I don’t know if—”
“Hey guys! Come on, the car is loaded, let’s get going.” Bryce arrives having climbed the stairs two at a time and his green eyes take in the sight of me in Chase’s arms. He must’ve heard what we were saying because he takes my hand as I leave Chase’s embrace but turns to look at his best friend before guiding me to the elevator this time.
“I thought I’d be jealous too, dude. But somehow, seeing her with Parker is hot as fuck.
And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to see my girl happy, so I’d definitely think about trying to share her with us at least once.”
“Right.” Chase nods still looking unsure and following us into the elevator.
“But for tonight, Kaya is my date. All mine.” Bryce nuzzles my neck making me giggle while my body reacts by tightening everywhere, my senses already heightened by Chase’s kisses.
Kaya
THE END OF SUMMER BONFIRE is held about one hour away from campus at a man-made lake nestled in the heart of a lush woodland.
The wide beach is made up of fine white sand and rock cliffs shelter the little oasis from the elements.
Several clusters of rocks create little secluded alcoves all over the beach, and when we arrive there’s several people already at work to light a huge bonfire on one side of the beach.
“Hey Kaya, nice to see you,” Erin greets me flanked by Rachelle. “We’re almost all here, except for Valeria and Oliver. The bonfire is almost lit and the sun is about to set, so we’ll be getting drinks and putting on some music any second now. You guys can go pick a spot for your sleeping bags and if you need the bathroom, there’s some restrooms behind those pine trees, you should’ve seen them when you parked, they’re on the left from the parking lot.”
“Ok, let’s go get our cooler and the sleeping bags and leave Kaya here with her sisters,” Parker suggests and Chase follows him immediately.
Bryce takes my hand in his squeezing it gently and whispers in my ear “I’ll go get us a nice spot. Possibly a little private.” And leaves throwing a knee weakening wink my way, making my heart jump in my chest.
I’ve been wondering if Bryce will try to make his move tonight but I wasn’t sure what to think since there’ll be at least sixty people on this beach between Zetas and Gammas.
“Kaya, so that you know, the pledges tonight will have one test to pass. There’s still a few pledge events before it’s time for the rest of the sisters to cast their vote to either accept you or reject you as a Zeta, so remember to behave like a good little pledge,” Erin says with a satisfied smile.
I sigh, resigned to the fact that this might not turn out to be the easy, fun and romantic night I was hoping for. I can’t wait to become a fully fledged sister or be out of the sorority all together, because I’m starting to get tired of the constant tests. During the week we were called twice to the Zeta house. Once to help the sisters with some cleaning: basically the ten pledges had to clean the house top to bottom while waiting hand and foot on the sisters who were barking orders and drinking cocktails the whole time.
Another day, we received a text at the crack of dawn and were asked to cook a pancake breakfast for the whole house.
Basically being a pledge means being at the beck and call of the rest of the sisters and the smallest real or perceived infraction could result in being kicked out.
It feels like I’ve been a pledge forever I can’t fucking wait for this ridiculousness to be over, initiation will be a welcomed relief. I’ll have to survive five more weeks of hell. I’m relieved that as a freshman, I’m not entitled to a room in the Zeta house. I don’t mind the girls but it’s really nice to have my own space. I definitely don’t blame Chase and the others for deciding not to live at the Gamma house full time. I actually wonder what made Reid decide to live there this year, especially because out of all the guys, he’s definitely the most reserved.
And talking about the devil, I see my stepbrother emerge from the thicket of trees that separate the beach from the parking lot with a rolled sleeping bag under his arm and carrying a big cooler.
But the thing that makes me almost double take is the sight of Valeria literally dangling from his arm.
It looks like they came here together. Like, together. Like a date.
I look for Chase and find him standing a few feet away between Oliver and Hoyt and meet his gaze. He looks as dumbfounded as I am and responds to the silent question in my eyes with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
So he doesn’t know anything.
I mean, Reid is obviously free to hang out with or date whoever he wants but I was hoping ...
I don’t know what the fuck I was hoping since my birthday. After the guys said that they wouldn’t be opposed to Reid being part of our ... God, what the fuck do I call what we have? Deal? Group? I guess relationship is the best way to define it.
But yeah, after the guys said that Reid has always been a part of their brotherhood and they kept saying that he cared about me, I let myself hope.
Because Reid is a part of me as much as the other three are.
I have to stop staring at him and Valeria but my eyes keep drifting off to them every few seconds as if they were trying to re-examine what they see. Probably in the hope that what they’re seeing is wrong.
And then I meet Reid’s gaze for a long, intense, confusing second.
I’m not sure if what I see in his ice blue eyes is Reid’s real emotions or the projection of what I want to see there. He’s always had the power to make me feel exposed with just one look, as if his eyes stripped me bare of all my walls and could see deep into my very soul.
And that first summer, three years ago, I thought that I could see into his heart too. And I loved what I saw. While Chase was all exuberance and action, unbridled, wild fun, Reid was calmer on the surface. But that wasn’t all there was to him. His quieter and more reserved exterior hid unsuspected depths. An ability to analyze things and strip them bare to their very core. A passion and a softness that he kept well guarded but that he had started to share with me until it was all over and the twins had begun to ignore me.
So I don’t know if it’s really regret that I see in his eyes, if it’s a flicker of warmth that lingers in there when he holds my gaze for one second too long or if I’m just seeing what I want to see. I stopped being able to read Reid a long time ago.
Valeria leaves Reid’s side to look for a spot for their sleeping bags and comes to stand in front of me and Erin. She has a satisfied smirk on her face and for a second I think she knows. She knows and she’s fucking mocking me. But then the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention and I get distracted. I feel the heat of another gaze right behind me. I don’t need to turn to find out who that belongs to because Oliver’s voice reaches us one second later.
“Well, well. If that isn’t my sis who got herself a hot date to the bonfire.” His tone is hard to read. There’s wonder in it but it’s laced with a certain amount of amusement so I think Oliver is actually mocking his stepsister. But there’s also a hard edge to his words. He sounds angry as if he disapproved of Valeria’s choice of date.
Well my friend, I think, we’re in complete agreement here, I think.
I know I really have no fucking right, but I feel the familiar sting of jealousy pricking at me when I look at Valeria’s smug expression.
The Zeta president’s gaze lands on me and a bright smile replaces the triumphant expression she’d greeted Oliver with.
“Hey, Kaya! Nice to see you. Welcome to Dare Night!”
Uh? What is she talking about? I look at Erin hoping for some clarity. This is one of the things I hate the most about this whole pledge deal: no one fucking tells us anything. Everything is a mystery and every event turns into a test and possibly a way for the sisters to have fun at our expense or to get us to do the dirty work they don’t want to do.
And what happens next confirms my last thought.
“Yup. During the course of tonight all pledges will be subject to any number of dares. The dares can come from any Zeta sister or Gamma brother and the pledge has to complete every dare to a satisfactory level, penalty is the immediate exclusion from the ranks of pledges. Any kind of dare is allowed unless it constitutes hazing or is illegal.”
Fuck. My. Life.
I don’t know how my mom can think this shit is fun. Maybe once this pledge phase is over but these days I’m not enjoying it at all.
“This is your first dare,
Kaya: go help the people who are lighting the BBQs for dinner.” I almost thank her. This isn’t a bad task. “And you’re to keep an eye on Erin’s calorie consumption for the night. She’s only allowed light drinks, salad and one bun-less chicken burger. If I see her eat even one s’more, you’ve failed.”
This last part makes me flinch but Valeria shakes her blonde head. “Before you tell me that Erin is pretty the way she is, our sister asked my assistance in losing weight and I’m simply lending a helping hand. Right, Er?”
Erin nods and I walk away shaking my head at the cattiness in the Zeta president’s tone.
I noticed that Valeria’s behavior changes completely when she’s around her parents. Last weekend at my birthday party she was all sweet smiles and politeness, the cruel streak I’ve seen in her whenever she’s around her sisters was nowhere to be seen. It’s a shame, I think. I could be friends with that version of her but I’ve no interest in getting close to the Zeta president.
I work with the other pledges preparing the food for dinner and serving all the Zetas and Gammas who observe us from the bonfire with their drinks in hand.
When I finally get a plate for myself, I find that Bryce and Parker saved me a seat by the fire and I lower myself between them enjoying the food and their closeness.
I’m full and warm and I rest my head on Bryce’s shoulder, closing my eyes and snuggling further into him when he wraps his arm around me.
“Gammas and Zetas.” Oliver’s voice literally rips me away from my food induced coma and I open my eyes hoping that whatever he’s about to say won’t mean anymore work.
“As you all know, in a few minutes the traditional beach football game between the Gamma brothers and the pledges will take place. The winners will have dibs in choosing a dance partner later on. But before we begin,” he says spinning a football on the tips of his fingers, “I want to make an announcement. As you all know, I’ve been trying to choose between Hoyt Bradley and Reid Hudson for the position of deputy Gamma president. My choice is made: Reid, congratulations.”
Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2) Page 9
