“Right. It meant nothing you say and yet ... You want to kiss me again, just admit it, Kaya.”
His lips are so close to mine that it would take the smallest movement from either of us for this to turn into a kiss but we’re at a standstill.
I need to get out of this lake and I need to get away from this man because I feel totally out of control. I know I don’t want to kiss him but at the same time—
“No. I don’t want to kiss you. I’ll only do it if you’re daring me to. Are you daring me to kiss you, Oliver?”
His breath fans over my lips when he speaks again and I barely contain the shudder that causes, traveling at lightning speed down my spine and settling between my legs.
“No. I was going to but I won’t. I know that you can’t forget our kiss just as much as I can’t. But I want you to want it next time we kiss.”
I’m about to tell him that he’ll wait forever if he thinks I’ll willingly kiss him but Bryce’s voice reaches us from above.
He’s standing on the same rocks Oliver and I jumped from.
“Hey Kaya, are you ok over there?”
The noise of tons of people running and jumping into the lake swallows my first attempt to answer. There are girls shrieking and being tossed into the water, guys bombing in and it’s a small consolation but everyone is buck naked.
“Bryce, I need to get out of the water but I don’t know where my bikini is.”
“Don’t worry sweet stuff, I’ve got you.” He holds open a large towel, waiting for me to lift myself out of the water.
But two strong hands circle my waist and lift me up into my boyfriend’s arms.
Bryce
I WRAP KAYA IN THE towel, rubbing a little bit to dry her off. I tell her that her bag with her spare bikini is by our sleeping bags and that we can come back for her discarded bathing suit in the morning.
She leans on me while we walk through a short stretch of vegetation on our way to the far end of the beach.
We walk in silence, my arm wrapped around her shoulders. I know that something is bothering her and I’m sure it has to do with my frat president and probably with Reid showing up with a date tonight.
Dipshits.
She throws me a couple of sideways glances while we walk but I don’t say anything, waiting her out.
“I’m a ho!” she blurts out, stopping in the middle of a thick cluster of pine trees.
She doesn’t meet my eyes, holding the towel shamefully against her chest.
I mean, this normally would be funny but she looks worried and she was naked in the water alone with Oliver.
So actually, not funny at all. I ask her what’s wrong out of concern for her but a part of me is already planning on finding Oliver and beating the crap out of him if he did anything wrong.
Aside from how he got the Gamma presidency, the guy’s a pretentious prick and I disliked him at first sight.
The guys and I noticed the way he looks at Kaya, so he better not have crossed any lines because this time the problem won’t be just trying to keep Chase from killing him. My best friend will have to join the fucking line.
After the initial outburst, Kaya is standing there, eyes fixed to the ground and I have to coax the story out of her. It’s something I’ve become used to with her but she trusts me and eventually opens her heart. She tells me everything in a rush of words and I take a second to consider her story once she stops talking.
“So he didn’t touch you?” She shakes her head. “But he tried to get you to strip in front of him and then kiss him?” She confirms that’s the case with a nod of her head.
I try to stay calm, I know that’s what she needs right now. Damn it! That’s Parker’s specialty, Chase and I are the hotheaded ones in our small group. But she opened up to me and I don’t want her to regret it. This thing we built between us over the summer was possible because she knows that she can talk to me without judgement on my part. And I know it’s totally mutual so I double my efforts to be calm and ease her face up with two fingers under her chin, meeting her gaze.
“So he tried to make you strip but you jumped in the water and stripped then? And then he dared you to kiss him?”
She explains what happened and I take her small hand in mine, squeezing in what I hope is a soothing gesture.
“Ok sweet stuff. I know that Oliver is a dick but he didn’t try to force himself on you, right? You handled yourself really well. But if he upset you, I’m gonna go talk to him. And you did nothing wrong.”
She lets out a shaky sigh. “I didn’t. But I almost did, Bryce. I almost wanted to kiss him. I’m so sorry, you have to believe me when I say that I love you. I love you, Parker, and Chase, and ...”
Reid.
I know, I see it in her eyes and there’s no need for her to say it out loud. “Ok, sweet girl. But you didn’t do anything wrong. Even if you’d kissed him on a dare, it wouldn’t have been anything different than at the party last week. Trust me, I’ve kissed almost every Zeta on a dare. It doesn’t mean anything, we’ve agreed on that, right?”
Unless ...
“I didn’t do it but a part of me really wanted to. You have to believe me, Bryce, I fucking hate Oliver. The way he acts like he owns the world and everyone is beneath him. Like other people owe him to cater to his every whim. I don’t want to be around him and I don’t even want to be his friend, but—”
I know how she feels. “He’s hot?”
She looks at me with surprise in her eyes but nods and I take her in my arms. “Kaya, you’re attracted to him. I mean, fuck if I were a girl, I don’t think I’d blame you. And I’d agree with you that he’s very easy on the eye but absolutely insufferable. You know, I’ve been there too. Ask the guys about Monica Ortiz next time we’re all hanging out. Cheerleader captain, my junior year of high school. Oh fuck, I’m not proud of it but I lost my virginity to her. She was gorgeous but arguably the worst human being I’ve met in my life. And trust me, my parents are showing me some pretty horrible sides of their character during their divorce. But this isn’t the point. I didn’t like Monica, I didn’t even want to be her friend but I kept finding myself naked with her. Look, I’m not proud of it but I understand how you feel. Maybe that’s why your mom wants you to be a Zeta and get to experience all this stuff. Because if after this you still chose me ... us ... You know what I mean, me and the guys, then you wouldn’t be settling. You wouldn’t wonder what you might be missing out on.”
She explains that her mother used very similar words when she encouraged her to rush the Zetas. “Your mom might not be totally wrong there, you know? This is one of the reasons why when this thing between us started, I didn’t want to put a label on it. Yeah sure as fuck, I was on the rebound and didn’t want to end up hurting you but at the same time, I understood that you’re three years younger than me, Kaya. I wanted to give you a chance to walk away and to experience something else without feeling guilty if that was what you wanted.”
She seems to think about it for a second but then she holds herself tighter to me.
“Is that why you weren’t mad when I kissed Parker?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “No. With Parker and even Chase and possibly Reid it’s different. Look, last summer was odd. It was the first time we really didn’t hang out as much. Now I know it was because of their unresolved feelings toward you. But you have to understand that the guys and I have always done everything together, shared everything. Girls were the only thing we never shared until Parker and I ended up doing it first without knowing and then ...”
I don’t want to dwell too much on the past but I conclude. “We’ve always been a united front and I’m not surprised that when it came to have serious feelings for someone, we all picked the same girl.”
“Bryce, I love you,” she whispers touching her lips to mine and I give her a deep kiss that reminds me of all my hopes for tonight.
“I love you too, Kaya. But can you make me a promise?”
S
he tilts her head to the side. “What is it?”
“If you ever feel that the guys and I are keeping you from other experiences, don’t be afraid to tell me.”
She opens her mouth to say something but I charge on, knowing where she was trying to go.
“No. I’m not saying that I want an open relationship or another friends with benefits deal. But if you ever feel like you need to explore something, don’t keep it a secret. I understand the situation with Chase was different and I’m not mad at you. I’m working on forgiving that dipshit. You’ll be done pledging soon and you’ll be able to say no to those fucking party games.”
She looks surprised. “I thought you didn’t care about the party games...”
I laugh, setting her straight on the way I feel. “Are you kidding? I understand the way pledging works and the stupid stunts you’re often asked to take part in. But seeing another guy shoving his tongue down your throat? I don’t care if he’s the fraternity president or the king of motherfuking England, sweet stuff. You think Chase is the only possessive asshole you’re dating? I’m not jealous because I know you love me ... us. And I just want you to be able to come to us with your feelings without feeling guilty about them. Like you did tonight about Oliver. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to murder him for even thinking about getting in your pants.”
11.
Attraction
Bryce
I MUST’VE SAID SOMETHING right because Kaya seems to calm down, she understands that while I’m obviously not going to like it when she feels attracted to other guys, I get that it’s a normal part of life.
Your eyes don’t fall off the minute you fall in love with someone and she acted in a way I can’t fault in that lake with Oliver.
Plus, I’d be a real hypocrite to judge her when since Monica Ortiz I can’t really say that I’ve kept it in my pants.
The only things that changed my normal behavior of hooking up at the frat parties were my relationship with Georgia last year, while it lasted, and then meeting Kaya.
We walk the rest of the way to where I set down our sleeping bags in silence, holding hands and each of us lost in our own thoughts.
I chose a clearing at the very top of the beach, surrounded by a slightly higher cluster of rocks on one side and a copse of pine trees on the other. Here we’re sheltered from the elements and higher up than all the other campers. So while we can look down and see them, they can’t see us. Obviously it wasn’t easy keeping other people away, but I spoke to Erin to make sure that she told everyone that this place wasn’t available.
I’d be lying if I said that I’m not planning to make love to Kaya tonight. Of course I want to, I’ve wanted to since I met her, since that first kiss we shared one night on the beach. I waited at first because I realized that she was really inexperienced and later because I felt guilty about the secret I’m still keeping for Reid. But now there’s no more reason to wait other than that I want our first time together to be special.
I thought about taking Kaya to a nice hotel for a romantic weekend or to fly her to Aspen to my parents’ winter house but then I decided against it.
Kaya doesn’t seem impressed by displays of wealth like a lot of other girls, so if she feels ready to share herself with me, what’s more romantic than a blanket of stars and a bonfire to keep us warm?
The corner I chose is dark and at first she doesn’t see much but then I light the fire I prepared earlier and she sees the simple but cozy quilted sleeping bags, a cooler with some water and snacks and I switch on some romantic music in the background.
Kaya takes in everything, especially the fact that I opened the two sleeping bags flat and then zipped them together to make them into a double sleeping bag.
She lowers herself onto the sleeping bags still wrapped in her towel and I feel her gaze on me while I attend to the fire.
I’m a little nervous when I walk to the sleeping bags and sit next to her. I want her so much that it hurts but at the same I don’t want her to feel like she has to do anything she doesn’t feel ready for only because she went there with Chase and Parker.
Kaya looks at me with those huge green eyes of hers and I see her smile, relaxed for the first time in weeks.
I want to think that I have at least a little to do with that smile, and I know it’s true when she whispers “This is nice. It hasn’t been just the two of us for a while, Bryce. I’ve missed you.”
Her tone floods my heart with warmth and for once I don’t feel the need to say anything. I put my lips to a much better use and kiss her.
It’s gentle at first, I’m in no hurry and I want to enjoy her closeness so I tease her and play with her lips taking little nibbles and making her chase me a little.
This reminds me of our very first kiss and like that first time, she matches what I do, until she has enough of my teasing and nips on my bottom lip, sucking on it when I don’t move away.
I smile against her lips and when I press on her mouth a little harder we both catch fire. It’s quick, sudden and wild and I hold her head still by fisting the hair at her nape, tipping her head back as I pry her lips open with the tip of my tongue.
She responds just as hotly, tracing my tongue with hers, meeting me stroke for stroke. The hand that isn’t tangled in her hair holds her waist as my lips leave her mouth and begin a journey down the column of her neck. My mouth goes down to her collar bone, all the way to the swell of her tits and my hand follows, playing with the edges of the towel she still has wrapped around her.
Her skin is smooth and cold, probably a consequence of her time in the lake. It’s a sharp contrast with the heat the fire left on my skin and tiny goosebumps appear everywhere I touch and kiss.
Her breath comes out in short, fast gasps and her back arches toward me when I open the towel revealing her gorgeous, perfect tits.
That view does things to me that I don’t need to explain, I’m pretty sure she can feel how hard I am against her hip as I rub one of my open palms over the erect peak of her nipple.
The little moan that leaves her lips is almost enough to undo me right here, right now, but I haven’t even started showing her the way I feel about her.
One good way is to take the other nipple into my mouth warming her skin, kissing, sucking and scraping my teeth on her sensitive flesh.
“Bryce ...”
She begs moving to lie down on the sleeping bags and dragging me with her. On her.
I’m still wearing my swimming shorts but her hands make quick work of helping me out of them. All that is left now is my naked skin against hers, my hard body against her soft one.
If she told me that she wants to stop now, I think I might self-combust because coming on her will no longer do. I need to feel her around me, I need to be inside her, to show her that she’s mine and that I’m hers.
Need.
It’s strong and overwhelming. Pure, unadulterated need, blazing hot through me and consuming me as my hands roam her body with a possessive, feverish touch.
I’ve been with many girls and fucking them was never like this. It was a physical need to get off, but honestly, they were just a means to an end. My hand would have accomplished exactly the same result.
This here, is a need that burns my every cell but also resides in my heart, in my soul. This girl owns me in a way that even I can’t explain. It’s as if the moment I met her, my whole being shattered and splintered into a myriad of pieces and only Kaya can make me whole again.
But don’t get me wrong, I need to possess her the way she possesses me, I need to mark her and brand her in the most primal of ways.
Her hands are exploring the muscles of my back as I keep kissing and sucking on her tits. My hips are between her legs, the tip of my cock aligned with her entrance.
If she told me that she didn’t want this, I’d have to find the strength to honor her wishes but God knows I hope this isn’t the case.
“Kaya, I want you. So fucking much.” My voice sounds rough
, strained by the need that’s burning every inch of my skin.
“I want you too, Bryce.”
I grab her hips with my hands and keep still just one more second. “Are you sure?” Please say yes.
“I love you. I want you. I fucking need you.”
I keep my eyes locked with hers as I enter her slowly, her wet heat accommodating every inch of me as I bury myself inside her to the hilt.
It’s a snug fit and she feels so warm, sleek and silky that I need a moment to get used to it. If I started moving now, I’d embarrass myself, no doubt.
“Fuck, you feel so goddam good.” I grunt and she responds by rocking her hips, squeezing her muscles around my hard shaft and I completely lose my shit.
I was planning to make love to her gently and slowly, instead I begin fucking her with long, hard thrusts.
It feels so fucking right, her body melts around me and I want more, so much more. So I lift one of her thighs, resting it on my shoulder, opening her to my thrusts, sinking deeper inside of her as her hard nipples rub against my chest.
I drive inside of her with everything I’ve got, spurred on by her faster breaths that hit the side of my neck and shoulder each time I pound deeper into her.
I’m close, too fucking close and I know it’s not good. I need to slow this down and make it good for her.
I bring her leg down. “Sweet stuff, close your legs together.”
She does and I smile when a moan escapes her lips at the sensation this new angle is causing her. This doesn’t allow me to go as deep as I was before and the fit is even tighter but the angle is such that with each thrust, the base of my shaft rubs against the sensitive bud at her center. Kaya realizes it too as she curses. “Oh fuck! Bryce this feels so good.”
So we get into a steady rhythm and I tilt my hips forward to make sure that I give her the most amount of friction as she meets each of my thrusts by lifting her hips.
Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2) Page 11
