I don’t know what to say, I’m so embarrassed that I try to move away from her and mutter an excuse. “Sorry, I’m still tired. I—”
I don’t know what’s worse, if the turmoil of feelings that are warring in my chest or her sweet, understanding tone.
“It’s ok, Reid.” She smiles softly. “If you’re tired, I can definitely wait for round three. Last night you really rocked my world, so I can’t complain if you’re tired. Let’s go have breakfast instead, or brunch or whatever you have when you wake up in the afternoon. I bet that’s the problem. You need some sustenance. Come on, I’ll make you a fry up. That’s all we need after last night’s drinking.”
I get out of bed looking for my clothes that are scattered around the room and trying not to make eye contact with Valeria.
She walks to her closet buck naked, obviously not in the least embarrassed about her nudity. But then again, we fucked so even if I can’t remember anything about it, I guess it makes sense that she isn’t trying to cover up.
She’s thin, I think as she walks by me on her way to the bathroom. Not my type, really. I prefer some curves on my girls.
Like Kaya.
I inhale sharply, trying to stop that train of thought before it takes hold in my scattered mind.
But thinking about Kaya ... I hope not to bump into her downstairs. I know she’s just a pledge but you never know when she could be summoned by any of the sisters.
For a second, I decide to bail on this whole breakfast thing. Showing up in the Zetas’ dining room on a Saturday morning is the equivalent to declaring that last night wasn’t a simple hookup. It’s like saying that Valeria and I are a couple.
On second thought though, I did fuck her last night. She confirmed that much even though I have no recollection of it whatsoever. I know I’ll never love anyone else and I know I can never have the only girl I’ve ever loved. So what if instead of being alone and miserable, I dated a nice girl who wants to be with me? I bet that I could learn to love her, with time. I’m a loyal man and I’ll make it my life mission to make Valeria happy if things with her progress. I’ll do that and help Dad in the process if our families get closer as a result.
I might never have the love I want but maybe I can find some kind of happiness. And it’s not like I’m promising to marry her, right? It’s just a breakfast. I’ll date Valeria and if things won’t work, I’ll have to accept it like with any relationship.
So I sit at the Zetas’ table, eating breakfast and chatting with Valeria and her sisters.
Thankfully no sign of Kaya. When we’re done eating, Valeria excuses herself claiming that she has some important calls to make and I say my goodbyes with a hug. “I’m going for a long walk around campus. I think some fresh air will help my hangover.” She offers me her lips to kiss but I can’t bring myself to do it and my lips land on her cheek instead. “I’ll call you later, thank you for having me last night.”
I walk away, truly wandering aimlessly around campus for hours, trying to put order in my thoughts and emotions.
I don’t think much of where I’m going, I walk past Greek Row, trying to clear my head and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when my legs take me in front of Kaya’s building.
I sit on the edge of a flowerbed right opposite the entrance, knowing full well that I won’t be able to catch a glimpse of her because she lives on the eight floor, the penthouse. I feel creepy as fuck but I’m beyond caring right now. I’m a huge mess of pent up resentment, sadness and heartache.
My thoughts are hanging over my head like a dark cloud, constricting my chest and making my head pound.
I’m about to leave after what seems like I’ve been sitting there for hours, if I have to judge by the fact that the sun is about to set.
And that’s when I see my brother leaving the building. I catch up to him with a few short strides before even deciding what I’m going to say.
Valeria
I WALK BACK INTO THE house after saying goodbye to Reid. I’m annoyed because he wouldn’t kiss me so I snap at Erin when she hovers around me trying to gossip about my night.
“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” I chastise her. “Maybe your weight isn’t the only thing that makes you a subpar sister. By the way, I saw the huge sandwich and chips you just scoffed down at the table. Then don’t come crying to me when Hoyt won’t even look at you. You know he doesn’t bang fat chicks.”
She recoils as if she’d been slapped but seriously, she should be looking at her own pathetic life rather than at mine.
I step back into my room making sure that I lock the door behind me before I dial Oliver’s number.
He answers after two rings, by the noise in the background, I know I’m on speaker while he’s driving.
Oliver: “Well, well, my darling. What a pleasure to hear from you. No doubt you’re calling to gloat about going home with Reid Hudson last night?”
His derisive tone rubs me the wrong way, he’s known how to get a rise out of me from the day we met. The trick is not to give him the satisfaction that he’s hit his target or he’ll keep tormenting me.
Valeria: “Reid just left. He had a late brunch with me and the sisters.”
I can’t see him smirk but I can hear it in his voice.
Oliver: “And? How was he? He couldn’t have shagged you after how much he drank last night. I saw how you needed Hoyt’s help to even load him into a taxi.”
I hate him, especially when he’s right. But I don’t have to tell him that, so I keep up the ruse I started earlier with Reid. He didn’t remember anything about last night, I was pretty sure of it. In fact, he didn’t argue with me when I told him that we had sex.
Valeria: “You’d be surprised, Ollie. We slept a little and then he fucked me. Twice. And another time when we woke up.”
The asshole doesn’t sound impressed.
Oliver: “And how was he? He mustn’t have been that memorable if the first thing you’re doing after he leaves is calling me. I bet you money he’s got a tiny dick. All these big, buff American football players are all the same. I think it’s the steroids that makes their dicks shrink.”
He talks as if he didn’t have a similar physique to Reid and the rest of the football team. Ok granted, Oliver is a little more slender than most of them and at six foot one, slightly shorter. But he’s just as cut as Reid and his teammates. Obviously though, I don’t have any intention to give him that kind of satisfaction so I don’t admit it.
Valeria: “His dick is bigger than yours, douche. And he knows how to use it! He said he’ll call me and I know he will. I could see that he’s smitten with me. So I just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna win your stupid wager.”
Oliver: “Right. Don’t forget that to win, you need him to propose and an engagement ring.”
Valeria: “I haven’t forgotten. But mark my words, it’ll happen soon. Before the New Year. How is it going between you and Kaya? She wasn’t even talking to you last night and she definitely shot you down after the game when you offered her a ride. So I’d say that right now I’m the front runner.”
Oliver: “Don’t worry about me, darling. I’ve got a masterplan and the pieces will fall into place before you’re even talking about going steady. Let alone getting engaged. You think I’m a player? Ask around about Reid and his brother and their friends. They’re known all over campus for being one and done kind of blokes. I’d be surprised if he even called you now that he tapped you. Well, looks like I’ve arrived at my destination. I’ll be buying some anal lube, ready to cash in on our wager. I’ll choose a numbing type, you’ve seen my cock, is gonna be a very tight fit.”
I hang up on him, my fists clenched with rage.
Taunting me is Oliver’s favorite thing. He’s always so sure of himself. Even if I told him that Reid and I had sex. Maybe I should go shopping too, buy something sexy for the next time I have Reid in my room. Make sure to seal the deal. After all he thinks that we’ve already fucked, so I think he’ll de
finitely come back for ‘seconds’ at least so he’ll have something to tell his buddies.
I groan, frustrated. All this talking about sex has made me really horny. I could spend some time with my favorite vibrator but I know that it won’t cut it. Especially since the memory that comes to mind is my latest night with Oliver two weeks ago.
I shrug and walk out of my room, headed to the Gamma house.
I know that Reid isn’t in and neither is Oliver, so there couldn’t be a better time to visit my fuck buddy.
I stop in front of his room and rap on his door with a light knock.
He opens his door in a tight t-shirt and basketball shorts, he looks sweaty and slightly winded as if I interrupted him mid-work out.
“Hey, sexy thing.” He smiles, leaning against the door jamb.
“Hey yourself.” I bat my eyelashes and push my tits out the way I know he can’t resist. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
He steps aside, letting me into his room. “Of course. What can I do you for?” His smile widens when I rest one of my palms on his warm, massive chest.
“I feel lonely and I need some attention, baby,” I coo, eliciting a grin as his huge hand wraps around my hip.
“Then you came to the right place. You know I always have time for you and your tight, little pussy. I’ll make you come until you can barely walk,” he says with a growl and I smile, knowing that he always makes good on his promises.
14.
Trouble
Chase
I WAKE UP AND SHE’S the first thing I see.
I can’t help the huge grin that spreads over my face as I hold Kaya tighter to my chest.
Flashes of last night come back to me and my cock immediately twitches, letting me know that he’s awake too and he knows that she’s still next to us.
I look at the old style alarm clock she has on her nightstand and see that it’s way past lunch time. We came in late last night and then we made love until the wee hours of the morning, so we slept the day away.
I know I probably shouldn’t have stayed, that I should’ve gone as soon as Kaya fell asleep but I couldn’t just leave.
I already feel terrible about the fact that we have to hide the way we feel about each other from the rest of the world. As if we were having an affair, that she’s my dirty little secret.
But what else could I do? I couldn’t stay away from her and I couldn’t sneak out like I did after our first time together. I want her to know that when I say that I love her, I really mean it. That this isn’t just physical attraction and I’m not just here because I want sex.
Well fuck, I do want sex of course. All it takes me is looking at her to get hard but my feelings for her go way beyond that.
She’s everything.
“Hey.” She opens her eyes and I lower my head to brush her lips with mine.
Her smile goes all the way down to my heart, spreading that warmth that she’s been putting there since the first time she ever smiled at me.
“How are you feeling this morning?” I ask, skimming a gentle hand down her shoulder, caressing the side of her breast and following the sweet curve of her waist all the way down to her hip.
“I’ve never felt better, Chase.”
Her gaze is full of the same things I feel, that I can just express with an ‘I love you’ but that there’s really no words to describe.
My world begins and ends with her. This is why, for as impossible as it might sound, I’ll have to find a way to make Dad accept that I’ve tried the sibling relationship that he wants. But I can’t do it and neither can she.
It’s not that I can just go and tell him how I feel, I tried three years ago and he shot me down every single time.
No, I need to observe and see if I can prove myself. If there’s a way that I could show him that Kaya isn’t just a temporary crush, definitely not a hookup.
I need to show him that she’s forever a part of me. Like he and Reid are. Like Mom was.
I need to do it because Kaya deserves everything and because I’m proud of loving her and of being loved by her. It’s my greatest accomplishment really, that I could get the most amazing girl in the world to fall for me.
“Penny for your thoughts?” she asks and I pepper a few kisses down her neck, inhaling her sweet scent.
“Nothing much, princess. I was just thinking that I hate having to hide our feelings. Sneaking in here and sneaking out, you know? For now it’s the only way, but I want to see if there’s a way to make Dad see that there’s nothing wrong with us being together.”
She looks doubtful. “I wouldn’t hold my breath, Chase. My mom agrees with him too. It’s infuriating, you know? She gave me hell last summer for ‘leading Mark on’ and being immature but now she says I need the full college experience and she disapproves of me getting too serious with Bryce. I doubt either of them would ever accept us being together.”
I pull her closer to me and make her a promise I intend to keep.
“We’ll figure it out, Kaya. I hate hiding but it’s better than being apart.”
She smiles, nuzzling my neck. “I love you, Chase. I never want to be apart.”
She’s so soft and delicious that I can’t help the devilish smile that forms on my lips. “Wrong, princess. There’s one thing I always want to see apart. Your thighs, with me between them.” I slide down on the mattress, grabbing her thighs and wedging my shoulders between them and I begin lapping and sucking at her, eating her out like a starved man. I don’t stop until she comes apart and then give her just enough time to catch her breath before I do it all over again. Twice.
The smile on her face at the end, would be enough by itself to make me want to do it every time we’re together even if I didn’t love tasting her.
But there are very few things I love more than her sweetness on my tongue and hearing her scream with an ecstasy I gave her.
I would never leave Kaya’s bed but there’s supposed to be a fraternity meeting to discuss the new pledges. We’re nearing the halfway point before initiation and it’s tradition to organize something big and try to whittle down the ranks of the people that we’ll end up calling brothers.
“Do you have to go?” she purrs possessively, running a soft hand down my stomach but I stop her with a pained expression.
“Yes, princess. But trust me when I tell you that I’d much rather stay here with you all day and all night. I’ll tell you what though, it’ll be a quick meeting. I’ll agree to anything that shit-head of our new frat president says. Then I’ll come to pick you up with Bryce and Parker and we’ll go out somewhere good for dinner. What do you say?”
She lets me go and when she walks me to her front door, I risk never getting out of that apartment again because fuck if Kaya can give a kiss goodbye.
One kiss turns into two and before we know it, my hands are slipping under the short silk kimono she put on and I’m giving my girl the fourth orgasm in twenty minutes.
So it’s with a satisfied, if a little smug smile, that I take the elevator down to the lobby and step out into the Saturday afternoon dusk.
I barely register the sight of my twin brother, before his fist collides with my jaw.
Chase
“MOTHERFUCKER! YOU FUCKING goddam piece of shit!”
He hits me twice more before I manage to shake off the feelings of elation that had pervaded me as I walked out of the building and the sudden shock at being attacked so unexpectedly.
His fourth strike has me prepared and for as much as I’d like to hit him back, I decide to dodge Reid’s fist. He stumbles forward and I swear to God my first instinct would be to help him keep upright but I resist it because touching him right now definitely isn’t the smartest move.
“Reid, what the fuck—” Ok, I’m not asking him why he’s mad, I’m just shocked at the vehemence of his attack.
He gets up, his eyes fixed on me and still clouded by fury.
So when he charges me head first with a pained grunt I d
odge him again but this time he’s prepared and doesn’t fall, he just renews his attack coming at me again.
And this is how fucked up our lives have become, rather than worrying about the fact that my twin brother is trying to kick the shit out of me I’m relieved because he doesn’t look still drunk.
“Reid, stop. Please, let’s talk.”
His fist comes at me again, aimed at my face but I block it, holding it in my hand and straining to push my brother back.
“There’s nothing to talk about, you selfish bastard! You couldn’t care less about other people and the consequences of your own actions, could you? You just take what you want and fuck everyone else, just as long as Chase Hudson gets his own way. You act like the world owes you something. And I’ve put up with your shit for twenty-one years but I’m done. This is the last straw, Chase. How could you be so goddam selfish?”
His words hit me with more violence than his fists did, mostly because deep down, I think he’s completely right.
But before we open this can of worms, I need to protect Kaya. I might’ve made a lot of questionable choices lately but she’s always been my priority. “Bro, let’s go talk in my car. Or anywhere else. We’re causing a commotion and I’ve already seen a few passers by looking at us. If someone calls campus security, this might get all the way to Dad.”
His eyes are still blazing with fury but he lowers his voice. “You’d fucking deserve it. The only reason why I don’t call him right now is because of Kaya. Because she doesn’t deserve to get caught in the fallout.”
I couldn’t agree more. “Please Reid, let’s talk about this.”
He twists his lips, refusing to yield in any way. “There’s nothing to say that would fix the enormity of what you’re doing, Chase.”
I plead again. “Please at least hear me out.” He follows me to my car and while we walk the few steps toward it, I send a 911 message to Parker and Bryce. I think they deserve to be a part of this discussion. And yeah, sue me, I’m not gonna say no to the moral support.
Illicit (Perfect for them Book 2) Page 14
