“Dead?”
The word made me dizzy.
“I am not sure how your father did it, but somehow he managed to fly under the radar all these years. He even married a human, and adopted a human daughter—your ‘sister’. And you yourself have a human birth certificate and even a social-security card, although both of them are forged, it would seem.”
“This is crazy. I mean, okay, maybe we could’ve fooled other people—I’ll buy that. But how could I have not noticed something like this? I’ve been living as a human for almost eighteen years and then suddenly I’m not human anymore?”
“Never were, Alex,” he gently corrected me. “And I have a theory about that as well— though it may be more than that if my suspicions about you are correct. You see, some of our kind have been trying for decades to come up with a method to turn themselves human.”
“Why?”
Eli just shook his head, but Vanessa spoke up: “They think it’s easier that way,” she said. “After all, ever since Valkos came along we haven’t had any real peace among us. And the human population keeps growing, which makes it harder and harder for us to hide. So some keep on trying to blend in more completely with that population.” She paused and gave Eli a confused look. “I’ve never heard of a successful attempt, though?”
“Nor have I,” he said. But there was a hesitant uncertainty in his voice.
“Not even one?” I pressed.
“The thing is, actual attempts are far and few between, because most of the procedures invented thus far are risky,” Eli said. “And the benefits don’t outweigh those risks—not for most people, anyway. Though in your case…Well, if your father was trying to hide you, then it would have been a logical decision to attempt suppression of your animal side.”
“But that still doesn’t really answer Alex’s question,” Vanessa pointed out. “Why now? Even if they were successful in suppressing Alex’s true nature, then why has she started having symptoms all of a sudden?”
“I am getting to that,” Eli said, somewhat crossly. “You have to understand—this is far from exact science. Now, I think that when Sera attacked her, the toxin she released must have reacted somehow with the existing lycan blood, and it has ‘activated’ it, so to speak. It is only suppression, after all—that lycan blood was, and is, still a part of Alex.”
Silence fell over us again.
I tried my best to come up with more questions, more ways to tear apart his theories. I didn’t want all of this to be true, but I was running out of ways to refute it.
“This is…” I started, standing up and backing away from the table. As I staggered backwards, I realized I still didn’t know how to finish that sentence.
My anger from earlier was starting to fade. I don’t know why. I should have been angry— because this wasn’t fair. Why was this happening to me? What the hell had I done?
But I wasn’t angry.
I wasn’t sure what I was, to be honest.
Eli was still talking. His words were mostly background noise until, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him get up out of his chair. He walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Alex?” he said, in a surprisingly stern voice.
“Yeah?”
“Up until that day, they must have been suppressing your lycan blood somehow,” Eli said. “It is the only thing that makes sense. I need you to think, Alex: did your father ever give you any sort of medicine even though you weren’t sick? Do you take a daily vitamin? Or maybe he gave it to you in the form of a shot? I have heard of it being administered both ways.” He looked at me hopefully, but I had to shake my head.
“No. I don’t take vitamins and I’m terrified of needles,” I said in a dazed voice. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder. Then I stood up and stumbled toward the door.
“Alex?” Vanessa said uncertainly.
“Where are you going?” Eli asked. “We should—”
“I just need to get some fresh air.”
I walked the rest of the way out of the kitchen, and nobody argued against it.
* * *
It was getting late. The sun had gone down nearly an hour ago, but even as the warmth of its rays became a distant memory, I didn’t move. I’d been sitting on the front porch steps and staring blankly into the distance pretty much all evening, and I didn’t plan on getting up anytime soon.
Not for the first time since I’d been sitting out there, I lifted my right hand and examined it.
How had I done it?
Not on purpose, that’s for sure.
I tried, half-heartedly, to make it transform again.
It didn’t sprout so much as a single piece of fur.
Still, despite my body’s insistence on staying human, I was beginning to entertain the idea that maybe I was a lycan. The more I thought about everything Eli had said, the less I could deny that it made sense. And once I’d made up my mind about that, there was only one way it could progress from there: Now I could fight.
I could learn to shift.
It was in my blood, and it seemed more inevitable than ever, now.
I heard a door shut. I reluctantly abandoned my thoughts and turned toward the noise. Kael was walking toward me. He stopped a few feet away, leaned over the porch rail and just stood there quietly, staring off into the distance. He was holding something in his right hand, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
“What do you want?” I said after a few minutes of silence.
He cut his eyes sideways at me. “A simple ‘hello’ would have sufficed,” he said. “Maybe a ‘how are you this evening?’”
“You didn’t say hello to me either. And I don’t actually care how you are this evening.”
“It’s called small talk, Alex. Nobody really cares how other people are—it’s just polite to ask.”
I barely suppressed a snort. “Do you really think you’re qualified to give me a lesson in manners?”
“Whether it’s from me or not, you definitely need one,” he said under his breath.
“Well I’m sorry,” I grumbled. “I’m kind of stressed out right now, so maybe I’m a little bit irritable.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
I lifted my gaze to his, and I tried to read his expression. His eyes revealed no hint of whether he wanted to be there or not. I knew what I wanted, though—even if I wasn’t about to admit it out loud.
“Then I’ll stay,” he said.
“What?”
“You don’t want me to go.”
“I didn’t say that!”
“But you were thinking it,” he said, a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
“You really need to stop doing that,” I muttered. “And here I thought I was getting better at keeping my thoughts to myself….”
“You are. You kept them from Vanessa earlier, remember?”
“Yeah, but why can’t I keep them from you?”
He shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe it’s because I have amazing mind-reading abilities?”
I glanced over at him, half-believingly. I mean, after everything Eli just told me, this wouldn’t have been that much of a stretch.
“You look cold,” Kael said, sitting down beside me.
“I’m fine.”
“Stop acting tough,” he said, his voice muffled by his hooded sweatshirt as he pulled it over his head.
“I’m not acting,” I said, just as the gray fleece smacked me in the face. If it hadn’t been so cold, I’d like to think I would’ve thrown it right back at him. But truthfully, I was freezing. So I slid it over my own head—while looking properly disgruntled, of course.
“Oh yeah—before I forget,” he added as I wrapped my frozen hands into his sweatshirt’s extra-long sleeves. “I came out here to bring you something to eat.” He offered me what he’d been carrying in his hand earlier. It was a wrapped sub sandwich, and my nose automatically wrinkled at the sight of it.
“I’m not hungry,” I said quietly.
&
nbsp; “Will you just eat it so that Vanessa will stop freaking out? She’s reminded everybody about ten dozen times this evening that you haven’t been eating properly. I’m kind of tired of hearing about it.”
“Sorry. You can tell her I ate it. I’ll back you up.”
He sighed. “You really should eat, though.”
“I might later,” I said. “Stomach’s a little weak right now.”
He didn’t respond, but the look on his face told me he understood.
We sat in silence for at least five minutes after that. Then Kael let out a quiet sigh, stretched, and laid back, resting his head on his hands and closing his eyes. He looked so peaceful that I was almost sure he was falling asleep.
“You know, I never actually met my real mother,” he said, his sudden voice startling me. “Never really cared to, either—since obviously she didn’t care to know me.” He shrugged. “I mean, I guess I must have seen her when I was born. But I don’t remember anything about her.”
“I guess we have something in common now,” I said dryly.
He nodded. “More than that—because for me too, there was another. She wasn’t my biological mother, but a mom in every other sense of the word.”
“You said was. Where is she now?”
“She died a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Life goes on,” he said with a shrug.
“It doesn’t always feel like it will,” I said quietly.
“But it does,” he insisted, rocking himself back into a sitting position.
“Maybe.” I didn’t feel up to arguing for once. “What about the rest of your family? What about your dad? Is he still around?”
Kael looked suddenly hesitant, and I got the feeling I’d struck a touchy issue. “Yes. He’s around.”
“Is that a bad thing?” I asked without thinking. “Sorry for being so nosey,” I added quickly.
“It’s okay,” Kael said. “It’s just that my father and I don’t talk much these days. We don’t always see eye to eye on things.”
“That’s pretty common though, right? I mean, I feel like most people don’t agree with their parents on a lot of things.”
He just laughed. “Trust me, our relationship is very uncommon. And very… complicated.” He turned and met my gaze, and for a second it looked like he wanted to tell me more. But when I tilted my head expectantly, he just looked away.
“My mom—I mean, not my mom, but you know what I mean— anyway, her and I never really got along,” I said, after a few seconds of silence from him told me he wasn’t saying anything else about his parents. “So maybe it’s better this way.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“…Maybe, maybe not,” I said, taken aback by the challenge. I stared at the ground as I continued. “But anyway, let’s not talk about her anymore right now.”
“Fine by me,” he agreed, sitting up and getting to his feet.
“I didn’t say you had to leave,” I said hurriedly. “We can talk about something else.”
We can?
What else were we going to talk about?
And why was I so suddenly desperate for him to stay?
“We could,” he said. “But I should go—I was just coming to check on you. As much as I’d love to hang out here all night…” There was a subtle hint of sarcasm in his voice. “…I have things to take care of.”
“Things?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of things?”
“Things that don’t concern you?” He shrugged. “I’ll be back after awhile.”
“Where are you going?”
“Must you know everything?”
“Yes?” I replied hopefully.
“Well, I’m afraid you’re out of luck tonight.”
“But—”
“I’ll see you later,” he said, turning his back to me. He’d made it half-way across the yard before I called after him, a sudden idea popping into my head.
“Hey Kael?”
“What?” he said, turning back to me with a dubious look on his face.
The words rushed out before I could stop them: “Will you teach me how to shift?”
He turned back toward the woods, and for a second I thought he was just going to walk away. But then he glanced back over his shoulder. The moonlight caught in his eyes and gave them that surreal glow that made me shrink back automatically.
“We’ll see,” he finally said, and without another word he was gone.
I stared at the spot where he’d disappeared into the woods until my eyes burned in protest.
But no matter how hard I stared, or hoped, or wished, he didn’t come back.
And so I was alone again.
14
shift
The next morning, I had a hard time getting up. It wasn’t just because I was beyond exhausted, either; somehow, I’d managed to make my way from the porch into what was quite possibly the most comfortable bed in existence.
But unfortunately for me, the world insisted on continuing whether I was ready to get up and face it or not. The sound of steady knocking soon penetrated the pillow I’d burrowed under. I groaned, and I pulled my head from under the pillow and looked toward the door.
Instead of lingering on the door, however, my gaze circled around the room.
The room that seemed really familiar all of a sudden.
I jumped out of the bed so fast that I got tangled in the sheets and nearly face-planted the hardwood floor.
“Well that was incredibly graceful,” Kael said in an amused voice.
“Shut-up!” I said, hastily working to free myself from the knotted sheets. I could feel the red burning in my cheeks. “What are you doing in here?”
“This is kind of my room.”
“I know it is. How did I get here? And why…” My mouth suddenly felt dry, and I had to swallow before I could continue. “Kael, why am I in your bed?” I finally managed to get out. “Did you, um…” I looked up at him, eyes widening from a mixture of confusion and horror.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Alex,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I slept in the living room.”
“How did I—”
“You were asleep on the porch when I got back last night,” he said in a droll voice. “You didn’t look particularly comfortable, so I carried you in here. I just thought you could probably use a decent night’s sleep—so stop looking at me like that, how about?” He frowned as I got to my feet and started to straighten up the bed.
My face reddened even more as I focused intently on getting every crease out of the sheets. “Well…thank you, then.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said. “And you’ll have your own bed tonight, so don’t worry. Vanessa’s been working all morning to clean up one of the guest rooms for you. We can go get your stuff later if you—”
“I’m not living here.”
I stopped pulling the sheets up and just stood, wadding up the cloth in my fist. It didn’t make a whole lot of sense, I guess. Yesterday, I’d only been too eager to get away from my house. But now, presented with an alternative, I suddenly found myself fiercely reluctantly to let go of 138 Bryant Street.
“This isn’t my home,” I added quietly.
Kael hesitated a moment before nodding. “Right,” he said. “Anyway—I came up here to tell you to hurry up and get ready.”
“Ready for what?” I asked, arranging the last of the pillows at the head of the bed.
“Last night you asked me if I would teach you how to shift.”
My head jerked up. “Does this mean you’re going to…?”
“Will’s going to help,” he said, his calm voice a stark contrast to my cautiously excited one. “We’ll be outside.”
I nodded, and I did my best not to look too exhilarated. This was serious business, after all.
Kael left the room, shaking his head, and I grabbed the throw blanket that was lying on the floor, folded it up and laid it across the foot of the bed.
I straightened the pillows one last time, and I was about to leave when I realized I was still wearing Kael’s sweatshirt. I started to pull it off, but stopped as it got caught on my ponytail. Maybe I should hold on to it? Kael hadn’t asked for it back, and besides—what if I got cold again?
My eyes flickered toward the window, where rays of bright sunlight were streaming in and spreading across the floor.
Okay. So, I probably wouldn’t need it outside right now. But nights could get cold here in the mountains.
Yeah. That was the excuse I’d go with.
I left the room, but I didn’t head outside right away. Instead, I tracked down Vanessa. I found her in ‘my’ new room, in the process of arranging throw pillows on a couch sitting in front of a tall window that offered spectacular views of the mountain valley below. I lingered for a few minutes, covertly checking out the room while I made small talk with Vanessa.
The walls were a pale green—my favorite color—and gave the room a calm atmosphere. Sheer, cream-colored, floor-length curtains billowed in the breeze slipping in through the half- opened window. The room was modestly but expertly decorated, with a handful of minimalist paintings and black and white photography lining the walls. Honestly, it was beautiful; it looked like the end result of one of those renovation shows you see on the Home and Garden Network.
But it wasn’t home.
Vanessa offered me a clean set of her clothes. I took them and changed quickly. The less time I had to spend in that room, the better. I folded up Kael’s sweatshirt, put it on the bed, and left without so much as a hasty backward glance.
I wasn’t ready to think about moving. Not that I had time to be thinking about that, anyway—there were bigger things that needed my attention right now.
Descendant Page 17
