by Leisa Rayven
I elbow him. “Stop it. You know Mr. Literal is my least favorite of your personalities.”
“Wow, tough crowd. Okay, your turn.”
“Pink faux fur,” I say, and point to a girl with three-inch heels and six-inch hair.
Josh screws up his face. “Oh, Jesus. No. Kill.”
I point to a girl who I’m guessing has spent the equivalent of a year’s worth of wages on plastic surgery. “Fake-boob bobblehead.”
Josh tilts his head, and shrugs. “Fuck, but with the lights out.”
A girl in fishnets and a bowler hat walks by, handing out flyers to the people in the TKTS line scrambling to get last-minute seats for tonight’s shows.
“Liza Minnelli wannabe.”
Josh gets a look in his eye I know only too well. Theater girls give him a major boner.
“Marry,” he says, and his voice cracks a little. “God, look at her. ‘Come to Papa, baby.’ She could keep that whole outfit on in the bedroom.”
“Nuh-uh. If you marry her, you don’t get to bang her.”
He turns to me, his brows furrowed. “What? Since when don’t married people get to have sexual relations?”
“Uh, since this game was invented.”
“Bullshit.”
“Josh, how do you not know how this works? You get to fuck someone once, marry them forever but no sex, or kill them dead.”
“No way! It’s always been fuck them once, marry them so you can fuck them forever, or kill them after you’ve fucked them because the sex would be horrible.”
“Are you kidding me? Out of all the times you’ve been wrong since I’ve known you, this is the wrongest.”
He scowls. “‘Wrongest’ isn’t even a word.”
“I know, but I had to make something up to fully express how wrong you are right now.”
I feel warmth at my back right before a deep voice says, “Your girlfriend’s right, man. You’ve been playing it wrong. You don’t get to have sex when you’re married. Everyone knows that.”
I turn around, and leaning forward from his position on the step behind us is the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.
Oh, wow.
It’s like there was a lottery somewhere on facial perfection, and this guy won the jackpot. Sandy-brown hair, thick and wavy, unbelievable blue-green eyes, full lips curled into a wry smile.
Congratulations on your face, sir.
I glance at the thick biceps peeking out of his T-shirt.
And your body. Congrats on it all.
He would be Fuck. Most definitely.
Josh must notice my reaction because he quickly says, “Oh, she’s not my girlfriend. I mean, we used to date but I couldn’t keep up with her in the sack. She was insatiable. All day, every day. I never knew one woman was capable of taking that much dick—”
I squeeze Josh’s thigh until he squirms. “Please excuse my friend. He knows I’m going to kill him now, and fear of the afterlife makes him babble.”
Mr. Fuck gives me a smile. Well, he gives it to both of us, but I’m claiming it because his gaze lingers on me longer. I’m fairly certain he checks out my boobs. It gives me tingles. I haven’t had tingles this powerful for … well, ever.
The hottie must approve of what he sees, because his tone is undeniably flirty. “So if your friend is the one getting killed, who are you going to fuck and who are you going to marry?” The way he says it leaves no doubt in my mind which he’d rather be.
He holds his hand out to me. “I’m Liam, by the way. Liam Quinn.”
I take his hand and try to keep my expression passive as the feel of his skin lights me up more than all the giant billboards around us. “I’m Elissa. Holt.”
“Very nice to meet you, Elissa.” He unashamedly stares as he continues to hold my hand.
Oh, he’s good. No doubt he uses this technique all the time to turn girls into piles of goo. I’m a little irritated it works on me. I thought I was immune to this type of smug self-awareness.
Liam. Even his name is sexy.
Josh clears his throat. “Okay, so you guys have been shaking hands for a creepy amount of time, and now I’m super-uncomfortable. I’m Josh, by the way. In case you care.”
Liam laughs and shakes his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Josh.”
Josh gives him a skeptical nod. “Sure it is. Elissa, should we invite our new friend to have dinner with us?”
That snaps me out of my tunnel vision. It’s one thing for me to lust after a handsome stranger. It’s another to do anything about it.
“Uh … I’m sure Liam has better things to do.”
Liam shrugs. “Not really. I’m seeing King Lear at eight, but considering I’ve been stood up, I’m at a loose end ’til then.”
Josh’s scoffs. “You’ve been stood up?”
“Well, ‘dumped’ would be a more accurate description. By the girl I’ve been with for a year.”
“What the hell?” Josh seems more upset about it than Liam does. “But you look like one of those male-model dudes in the fancy magazines. Fussy woman, was she, your ex?”
Liam shrugs. “She liked me, but hated my bank balance. She’s now dating some rich douche from Wall Street.”
“Fast rebound.”
Liam gives a bitter smile. “Yeah. Not so much a rebound as an overlap, but whatever.”
There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence before Josh says, “You know, Elissa was dumped as well. What a coincidence, right? Two single, attractive dumpees like yourselves having this random meeting. It’s like fate.”
Liam gives Josh a smile, then looks at me. “I totally believe in fate.”
I look down at my hands. Fate or not, I don’t know that I’m ready for the emotions this man is bringing out in me.
Over the past four years, I’ve had three boyfriends, and all three have thrown me over for other women. To say my confidence with men has taken a hit would be an understatement.
When my last relationship ended in a blaze of abject humiliation, I decided I was done with men, at least for the foreseeable future. I have a very specific five-year plan, and getting destroyed again isn’t part of it. Josh keeps hassling me to jump back into the dating pool with both feet, but I’m content to wade in the shallow end. It may be frustrating to never take the plunge, but there’s zero chance of drowning.
“So, does the invitation for dinner still stand?” Liam asks as he hits me with those stunning eyes again. “Because I’m starved.”
Me, too. I just didn’t realize how much before I saw him.
Never one to let an opportunity pass, Josh answers for me. “Absolutely, Liam. Elissa would love for you to come.” He smiles over his double entendre.
I grab his sleeve. “Uh, Joshua? May I speak to you for a moment please? Excuse us, Liam.”
I pull him down to the bottom of the stairs. “What are you doing?”
“Getting you a date.”
“I don’t want a date.”
“Yes you do. You just won’t admit it. I love you, but I’ve been the only man you’ve seen naked in months, and that’s only because I accidentally sent you dick pics intended for someone else.”
How do I tell him that all my alarm bells are going off about Liam? That some part of me thinks he’s more than just hot, and therefore, dangerous? I can’t even figure out how I’m feeling, let alone find a way to articulate it.
Josh is looking at me with concern. “Hey, I was just following your lead. When your jaw hits the floor over a guy, I play wingman. Is that not what’s happening here?”
I run my fingers through my hair. “You’re the best, Josh, really. Dick pics aside. I’m just not sure I’m up to this tonight.”
Josh glances over at Liam. “Well, let’s at least have dinner. Then he’ll go to his show and you’ll go home, and if you want to jump him in the future, you can give him your number. All good?”
I nod. I guess there’s no harm in that.
As we head back over to the stairs, Liam and Jos
h start up an easy conversation about sports. They look like they’ve known each other for years.
In some ways, I think that’s what’s throwing me about Liam. We’ve just met, but some part of me feels like I’ve always known him. And that part is freaking the hell out.
* * *
Ten minutes later, we’re sitting in Gino’s on 42nd street, debating which pizza to get.
Liam frowns at the menu. “Uh … you guys choose. I’m not fussy. I’ll eat anything.”
“That’s good,” says Josh. “Because Elissa is so damn fussy, she’ll only be truly happy if they let her in the kitchen to make her own.”
I keep my focus down on the menu. “Just because I like things a certain way doesn’t mean I’m fussy, Joshua Kane.”
“Actually,” Josh says. “Liking things a certain way is the definition of fussy. But let’s be honest. You take fussy to a whole new level with your food ratios.”
“Ratios?” Liam asks, and nudges my foot under the table. “I’m intrigued. Tell me more.”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Aw, come on.”
Josh chuckles. “I think she’s concerned that if we tell you about her obsession with food proportions, you’ll run a mile.”
My face heats. Yes, he probably would.
“Not likely. I’m too hungry to run anywhere.” Liam tries to catch my eye. When I look up at him, he smiles. “Please. I want to know.”
I sigh and put my menu down. “When I eat, I like the ratios of all the ingredients to be equal. So, if there are four things on the plate, say, meat and three veggies, I need a little bit of each of them in every mouthful.”
“She calls it ‘The Theory of Yummability,’” Josh says. “It’s fascinating to watch. She carves everything up with surgical precision, then loads the tiny pieces onto her fork. It would be artistic if it wasn’t so fucking weird.”
Liam shrugs. “I don’t find it weird. I think it’s cool. I have a similar thing with chips and dips. I need to have exactly the right ratio of dip on the chip, otherwise you can’t taste them equally.”
“Yes!” I say, and sit forward. “That’s my point. It’s all about subtle combinations. Why put something in your mouth unless you’re really going to enjoy it, right?”
The way Liam’s eyes widen makes me realize that statement could be taken a whole other way.
He gives me a slow smile. “I totally agree.”
I take a sip of water to cover my sudden blush, and thankfully, Josh swoops in to change the subject.
“So Liam, the question we really need you to answer right now is this: Are you legal?”
Liam moves his attention to Josh. “As in…?”
“Over twenty-one?”
“Uh … yeah. Why?”
“Because I need you to order us some beer while I drain the lizard. Pretty sure we all need a drink.” He mutters under his breath, “Before we all choke on the sexual tension.”
As Josh gets up and heads to the back of the restaurant, Liam looks over at me with concern. “Wait a minute. You guys can’t buy beer?”
“In two years we can,” I say.
“Two years?!” A nearby couple turns to look at him, and he leans in and whispers, “You’re only nineteen?”
“Yes.”
He rubs his face. “Oh, God. I’m bad. I’m a bad, bad man.”
“Why?”
“I thought you were older.”
“How much older?”
“An age that doesn’t have ‘teen’ at the end of it, that’s for damn sure. When I saw you tonight, I thought you were…” He looks me up and down, and the heat of his gaze makes me fan myself with the menu. “Well, you seemed way more mature than nineteen.”
“For your information,” I say with an edge of petulance that ironically makes me seem much younger, “I’ve always been mature for my age. How old are you, then, Father Time?”
He leans back in his chair, and I don’t miss the way his T-shirt strains across his impressive chest. “I’m a bona fide adult, kid. Twenty-two. And three quarters.”
I feign horror. “Ew, gross! You seemed way younger. I can’t believe I’ve been having impure thoughts about a crusty old man.”
He smiles. “Are just saying that to show me how stupid I’m being about our age gap? Or have you actually been fantasizing about me?” He leans forward. “Because I’m really hoping it’s the second thing.”
I look down at my water glass and smile. “I have a feeling fantasizing about you would lead to nothing good.”
“Really?” he asks. I can feel him staring at me. “Because I’ve never had a single complaint. Well, apart from that one time with my ex-girlfriend, but it was an isolated incident and I’d had way too much to drink.”
I laugh and look up at him. He joins in with a low chuckle.
Great. His laugh is just as sexy as the rest of him. Not cool.
We’re still smiling at each other when the waitress arrives to take our drink order.
“Three beers,” Liam says as he looks at me. “Wait, scrap that. Two beers and a Coke. I need to make sure I’m in top form tonight.” When he looks into my eyes, I have that twinge of frustration again that his cockiness actually turns me on.
As the waitress leaves, I take a sip of water and study him. He meets my scrutiny without embarrassment. “You’re confident you’re going to get lucky tonight, aren’t you?”
He shrugs. “I figure you wouldn’t have asked me out to dinner if you weren’t interested.”
“Josh was the one who invited you, and I hate to break it to you, but he’s straight.”
“Uh-huh, but it was clear he was playing wingman. I saw how you looked at me. I liked it.”
I lean back and cock my head. “Haven’t you just broken up with someone?”
“Yes. Which is why you should take me to bed and nurse my shattered ego.”
That makes me laugh. “I have a feeling your ego is just fine.”
“Maybe. But a little extra stroking never hurts.”
A shiver of anticipation runs through me. Okay, this isn’t good. As a rule, I never sleep with guys on a first date, but Liam is quickly chipping away at my resolve. The trouble is, I have no doubt that having sex with him would lead to a whole mess of emotional stuff I’m not prepared to deal with right now.
When I glance over at him, he’s staring at me with a deep frown. I can’t figure out if he’s concerned or confused.
“You okay?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not sure. I have this overwhelming urge to spend more time with you tonight, but I don’t want to come across as needy or desperate.”
“Hmmm. Dilemma. What are you going to do?”
He reaches into his pocket. “Invite you to come to King Lear with me? Thanks to my ex, who’d prefer to bang a guy in a thousand-dollar suit than attend the theater, I have an extra ticket. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.”
He puts the tickets on the table and I study them. “Oh, wow. The Lowbridge Shakespeare Company? My mom has taken my brother and me to their productions since we were kids. I think that’s why Ethan and I both chose the careers we did.”
“Oh? You guys work in theater?”
“Yeah. We’ve both applied to The Grove in Westchester.”
Liam looks impressed. “Wow. Good school. So you’re an actress? I should have known. A woman as gorgeous as you, it makes sense you’d be on the stage.”
With talk like that, my blush isn’t disappearing anytime soon. “Actually, I prefer backstage. I’m a stage manager.”
Liam’s expression intensifies. “Okay. Not sure why I find that so much sexier than being an actress, but I do. Weird.”
This boy has a silver tongue, that’s for sure. I wonder what it would taste like.
“What about you?” I ask. “You’re not an actor, are you?”
Liam smiles. “Wow. Don’t like actors, huh?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because
it looks like you might laser me to death with your eyeballs if I say yes. Care to explain?”
“Not really. It’s a long story.” My aversion to actors is strong, but I didn’t realize I was so transparent. “I just don’t date actors, that’s all.”
He looks at me for a few seconds, then says, “Well, this isn’t strictly a date, is it? So it doesn’t matter what I am. However, if you come to the theater with me … well, that’s a whole other story.”
I look down at the tickets. They’re fantastic seats, and I really do want to see this production.
Liam notices my hesitation. “To steal a phrase from Josh, I’d love for you to come.” He gives me another one of those looks that makes me melt. “Take that any way you like, as long as you say yes.”
The sexual innuendo is much more effective coming from him. “Okay. Can I at least give you some money? They’re expensive seats.”
“No way,” he says. “But you can pay for the pizza. Deal?”
“You pay hundreds of dollars for tickets, and I pay twenty bucks for pizza? Hardly seems fair.”
“Three hundred dollars for the pleasure of your company, beautiful Elissa? Seems like a bargain, if you ask me.”
Jesus. His smoothness is killing me.
As a rule, smugness turns me off, but not tonight. There’s a sincerity to his flirting that presses all my buttons.
An hour later, when we all exit the restaurant, laughing like fools, I’m even more conflicted. I never thought I’d meet someone who could match the special dynamic Josh and I share, but Liam does. Easily.
“Okay, guys,” Josh says as he glances down the street. “I have a hot date with the girl who’s playing Elphaba in Wicked, and if I’m lucky, I’ll have green face paint in strange and unusual places before midnight.” Liam holds out his hand, and Josh shakes it. “Nice to meet you, Liam. Hope we’ll be seeing you again. Please keep in mind that, even though you could crush my head with your bare hands, I’m going to have to ask you to treat Elissa with respect, or face the consequences.”
“What consequences?”
“Me running into your fist with my head, multiple times. But, be warned. I have a thick skull. Your knuckles will never be the same.”
Liam gives him a smile. “Noted. I promise to behave.”
