My phone feels heavy as I hold it, waiting for the call to be answered.
“Hey, Grumbler. How are you?”
“Mary, I need you to listen to me.”
“You’ve got news?” Her voice sounds eager.
“Not of the type you expect.” I draw in a deep breath. “Alicia’s with me, at the compound.” Knowing Salem was right, and a Devil rushing to Mary would be suspicious, I’d decided for her to visit us instead. “I need you to come here. I’ll give you directions.”
There’s a stunned silence, then, “Is she hurt? Why is she there? Is she okay? What the hell, Grumbler? You took her there?”
“Mary, she came to me this morning.”
“Came to you? Why?”
“Please, just come. She’s not hurt,” I say fast. Well, I don’t think she is, or not physically. “We’ll talk when you get here.”
“You tell me now, Grumbler. If something’s wrong with my daughter, I need to know.”
I bow my head. I’d known this wouldn’t be easy. “She came to me because she’s scared she’ll disappoint you, Mary. Please, I can’t discuss this over the phone. Please, just come.”
Another silence shows she’s not happy.
“You know I’m imagining the worst, don’t you?”
The worst. Yes, other than death, that’s probably how to describe it. “Please,” I plead again.
Begging seems to have worked when she asks next, “Where are you?”
I explain how to get here then end the call. Leaning back against the wall of the converted hangar, I close my eyes, allowing the heat of the sun to rest on my face, thinking back to how everything started. If I hadn’t gone to have that tattoo done that day, if Devon hadn’t had his eye caught by my bike, if I hadn’t been so proud of my handiwork and wanted to show it off, maybe I wouldn’t be involved in this predicament now. But that would mean I’d never have met Alicia and her mother, and if things had played out the same way, they wouldn’t have the Satan’s Devils on their side.
Would I have done anything differently had I known? Fuck no.
“Alicia wanted to find you.” Eva’s voice startles me out of my reverie.
Opening my eyes and pushing away from the wall, I see Alicia standing in front of me.
“You need me, honey, come find me.” When Eva makes her offer, Alicia gives her a small smile, then her eyes switch to me.
Her face is blank, as if trying to read what I’m thinking.
“Come sit with me.” I jerk my head toward the picnic bench in the shade of a tree, just a short distance away from the clubhouse.
She follows me, her gaze now moving from me to take in the scenery instead. Here, above the city, it’s a beautiful view out to the Coronado Bridge and beyond that, the Pacific.
I breathe in deeply, then warn her, “Your mom’s on her way.”
Her head snaps back to me. “What? Why? I can’t…”
Reaching over the bench, I take her hand, squeezing it gently. “She has to know, sweetheart. And you need her on your side. It’s one hell of a secret to keep if you don’t tell her.”
“She’ll be so angry.” Alicia’s face falls. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone looking so distressed.
“It’s not you she’ll be angry with.”
“You can’t say that.” There’s a bite in her voice. “You don’t know her. I’ve gone against everything she’s ever said.”
“The only thing you can be blamed for is lying to her. Nothing else is down to you, okay?”
“She won’t see it that way.”
Pulling my hand back, I prop both elbows on the table. Resting my chin on my clasped hands, I regard her. “Adults are full of do this, do that, don’t do the other, aren’t they?”
The slight rise and fall of her chin show me she agrees, even if she doesn’t know where I’m going with this.
“You know why? It’s because most of the time we’ve been there, done that, and have learned from our mistakes. We’re not wiser, we don’t have a manual we’ve adhered to, we just have had experiences that have taught us about life. Your mom lays down rules not to curtail your freedom, but to keep you safe.”
“I should have listened to her.”
“Of course you should. But you’re a teenager, and you’re programmed to rebel. Won’t be the first time a girl’s head gets turned by a pretty boy, and it won’t be the last. The shame of it is, you picked the wrong one. Or, the wrong one picked you for none of the right reasons.” I stare at her until she meets my eyes. “My mom told me not to hang around with the guys that she had bad feelings about. I thought she was being fuckin’ stupid and just didn’t want me to have fun. Turns out she was right.”
Alicia frowns. “What happened?”
“I ended up having to choose between heading straight down to the recruiting office or doing time.”
“You served?”
“I did my time.” Got out as soon as possible. It wasn’t having to be part of a team that bothered me, nor some of the shit that I saw. It was having a regimented routine which fucked with what I saw as my free spirit. It suits some people. Niran, for example, would have been in for life were it not for the loss of his leg. Still, it was better than going to prison, and that’s the only cop I’ve ever been thankful to.
“Have you ever been in prison?”
I wink at her. “Nah, never got caught again.” I haven’t been inside, but some of the shit I’ve done for the club would have put me away for life. I’ve made a joke of my totally serious answer.
The sound of a motorcycle coming through the gate reaches my ears and I identify it immediately. It’s Lost. Shading my eyes with my hand, I see he’s brought Patsy. That could work to my benefit. I’ve no doubt there’ll be another distraught woman once Mary finds out what’s happened, and Patsy’s a calming influence. Considering the shit she went through with her family, she might know what to say more than I. Wasn’t six months back and she was burying her son Connor—though he’s very much alive and our prospect now.
Lost parks, notices me, pats his old lady on the shoulder then comes across. He’s sharp, and I know he doesn’t miss that Alicia is young, underage, and has obviously recently cried. He gives her a critical once over, then narrows his eyes.
“Everything okay?”
“Prez, meet Alicia. Alicia, this is our prez, Lost. Alicia needs a little help from us. Salem will fill you in, he’s inside.”
In my usual man-of-few-words way, I let him know a couple of things with that statement. Firstly, that what she’s here for is going to become club business, and secondly, that I don’t want it discussed in front of her. She’s going to have more than enough on her plate when her mother turns up.
With one last appraising look toward Alicia, he raises his chin, then disappears inside.
“He’s your prez?” When I nod, she continues, “He doesn’t look particularly scary.”
Emitting a soft chuckle, I agree. “He’s not. But don’t underestimate him. If something needs doing, he gets it done.” Whether that’s keeping our businesses running, or dispatching men to meet Satan.
Though the day is warm, Alicia suddenly shivers as though a cloud has come over the sun. Her hand moves to her forehead, then down to her cheek as an errant tear slips from her eye.
I don’t know what to say to take the pain away and wish Mary would get here soon and relieve me of the burden. What do I know about parenting? Or how to comfort a young girl? Or even a woman, come to that. Apart from the club girls and one-night stands, I’ve never had a woman I needed to understand. What words could I use to repair the devastation in this kid’s life? All I can do is promise to kill the man who misled and deceived her.
“I promise, Alicia. That film will be destroyed. You won’t have it hanging over your head.”
Hurt eyes meet mine. “He used me. He made me believe I was special. I thought I loved him, Grumbler. I thought I was the one.”
She’s not the first and won’t b
e the last—not by a long shot. But those wouldn’t be comforting words.
I’ve never been with a virgin, never wanted the responsibility of initiating a woman, and certainly not a young girl. It’s not something I’ve particularly prized or thought special. To a man, getting your first time over and done without embarrassing yourself is probably more to the point. To a girl? Done right, it means the whole world. Though the hearts and flowers version is not, in reality, one that I’ve heard.
The sound of a car approaching reaches my ears. My phone vibrates, and I take it out.
“Yeah. Let her in,” I say into the device, then, ending the call, raise my eyes. “Your mom’s here.”
“Oh God.” Alicia drops her head into her hands. “I can’t, Grumbler. I just can’t.”
“You want me to speak to her first?”
Grateful, but tearful eyes meet mine, and the accompanying nod and silent plea confirms, for no fault of my own, I’m about to break a woman’s heart.
Chapter Seventeen
Mary
Knowing how teenage girls sleep late, I hadn’t been expecting Alicia home before noon. I had checked her phone when I’d woken, of course, to find her where I expected, still at Marisa’s.
Having a morning of peace stretching ahead, I’d made a start on my normal task for a Saturday—the housework that I’d neglected to do all week. I’d been in the process of cleaning the bathroom when Grumbler had called.
My mouth had dropped open when I’d listened to what he had to say, or more, what he hadn’t. Alicia had tracked him down to his compound, but he wouldn’t explain why over the phone.
The traffic in San Diego was infuriating—every car, every traffic light seemed to exist just to impede my progress. I forced myself to drive carefully. It wouldn’t help Alicia if I crashed or was pulled over, and it wouldn’t get me to her any sooner.
Questions raced through my head. Why had she gone to him of all people? If she had a problem, why hadn’t she come to me instead? If she’s hurt, why go to Grumbler? Surely, her mom would always be best.
At last my GPS tells me I’m in the general area, and I follow Grumbler’s instructions, turning off on a side road that appears to lead into nowhere, until a gate appears ahead. There’s a man who’s standing by it. He’s wearing a leather vest like Grumbler’s, though when, after asking what I wanted, he turns to make a phone call, instead of the club patches, the one on his back simply reads Prospect.
I bang my palms against the steering wheel as I wait for permission to enter, then, as the gates open at last, I drive through as the prospect had instructed. As soon as I near what must be the clubhouse itself, I spy Alicia and Grumbler seated at a picnic table.
I pull the car up, apply the brake and cut the engine. Opening the door, I see my daughter is seated with shoulders hunched. An immediate appraisal from a distance, I can see no visible injuries.
As I start to approach her, Grumbler stands and walks toward me, halting my progress. He holds up one hand in my direction and says back over his shoulder, “Give us a moment, kid. Go inside and find Eva.”
Alicia jumps up, one quick glance is my direction, then with head down, she scuttles away.
“Alicia?” I call, but she ignores me. “What the hell, Grumbler?” I round on the man in front of me now. “What’s she done? What’s happened?” There was guilt in that one look she sent me. My mom’s instinct knows she’s done something that I won’t like. “Let me go to her.” And who the hell is Eva?
“Sit.” Grumbler’s tone has my eyes snapping to him. It’s an instruction voiced in a way I can’t ignore. “You’re not going to like this, and you need time to process how to approach it with her. If you go after her now, you’ll do more harm than good.”
“I’m her mother,” I point out.
“Yeah.” His tone softens, and his hands wipe over his face. He looks drawn, and I wonder how much of it is down to Alicia. “Sit down and listen to me, Mary, please?”
“Has she brought trouble here?” I ask him, finally doing as he says, sitting down at the picnic bench. I don’t know what I expected from a biker compound, but it wasn’t that it would be in such a scenic position as this.
“Trouble we’ll take on gladly.” He answers my question in a growl.
His face is so serious, my worries multiply. “Just tell me, Grumbler.”
Reaching into his pocket, Grumbler extracts a pack of cigarettes. He taps one out, and proceeds to light it. When I frown, he excuses himself.
“I don’t smoke much. Only when I’m bored or stressed.” He doesn’t have to explain which he is now. Taking a drag and blowing smoke out, angling his head so it doesn’t come my way, he sighs. “Alicia wasn’t at her friend’s last night. She left her phone there in case you checked.”
My eyes widen. “The little—”
“Mary!” Grumbler’s voice is sharp. “There’s a lot more to come. Swallow your anger and just let me tell you.”
“Where was she?”
“With Owen.” Now I start to stand, but Grumbler snakes out his hand, his strong long fingers reaching around my wrist and imprisoning it. “Sit down, Mary.”
I huff, as it seems I have no choice but to do as he says. Then I proceed to listen to one of the most painful things I’ve heard in my life.
At some point Grumbler releases my hand, stubs out his cigarette, and is my side of the bench. I’m sobbing in his arms without realising how I got there.
He rocks me for a few minutes, as I try to come to terms with what my baby girl has gone through.
“She needs her mom, babe. She needs you to be strong.”
“How could she have been so stupid?”
He moves slightly, creating a small gap between us and holding me by the elbows. Staring intently into my eyes, he gives it to me straight. “Was she stupid? Owen, a twenty-four-year-old man for fuck’s sake, created the perfect date, the perfect setup to convince her he was the man she could give her body to. A hotel room, her favourite food, flowers… How was she to know the whole thing was a setup?” He pauses a moment, raising a hand to brush back a strand of my hair. “He made it a young girl’s dream. How was she to know what a lyin’ motherfucker he was? How does a girl her age know how the world works?”
Through gritted teeth, I try to explain, “If she’d listened to me—”
“What? You’d have warned her she might end up in a porn video?”
That pulls me up. The thought would never have occurred to me. “She tried to send him a topless photo. I caught her and thought I’d put a stop to that. I explained how once that kind of photo is shared, there’s no pulling it back.”
“Which is probably why she knows the significance of how much damage that film could do to her life. A double whammy, as Owen’s betrayal also hurt.”
How can I repair the damage that’s been done? My daughter’s no longer a virgin, and though it was her choice, she chose to lose it to the wrong man. She’s not unique, but I know it will play on her mind for the rest of her life. Though I doubt many men nowadays are virgins and would be hypocrites to expect a woman to be when they were not, she’s lost her chance of giving it to someone who meant something to her. But at the time, she thought she had.
Hadn’t I been thinking about how I wasted mine only recently? Your first time is something you never forget, however much you wish you could. But I’d never had to contend with it being filmed, and that film circulated around. The thought makes me shudder.
“Grumbler. You’ve got to back off. It doesn’t matter about Alicia’s money, and I’ll pay you what Devon was supposed to pay—”
“Don’t want your money!” Grumbler roars. “Fuck, woman, do you think I give a damn about that now?” He pinches the bridge of his nose then looks straight at me once more. “Do you really think they’d have gone to all that trouble just to stop a douche canoe like me asking for what he’s owed? Fuck, no. They’ve got a film, and films like that make money. Your best bet is for us to stay
involved, so we can shut that shit down. I promise you, Mary. We’ll get it destroyed.”
“But you can’t even find Devon. How can you find the film?”
“We don’t need to find him to discover the footage, just his trail on the web.”
I’m not at all sure it’s as easy as that. There’s a growing fear in my overactive mind, of people giving Alicia snide glances as they’ve watched her with Owen, getting their jollies at the cost of my daughter.
“Hey, babe. We’ve got this. We’re not going to let it do any permanent harm. If I know my prez, this will become the club’s number one priority.”
I move my head side to side, completely incredulous. “But why should you or your club help? We’re nothing to you.”
“You are now.”
My eyebrows draw down. “I don’t understand.”
He takes hold of my hand and squeezes it gently. “Your girl came to me, Mary. That means a lot. I’m not going to let her down. And you? Well, I want to be there for you, make your world as right again as it can be.”
“Are you saying you want a relationship with me?” I yank back my hand and my voice has gone squeaky.
“Nah.” He looks me right in the eye. “I’m far too old for you, and I’ve never had any desire to take an old lady of my own. We can be friends, though, can’t we? And friends support each other.”
In my eyes he’s not too old, but for now, my focus is Alicia. “Can I see my daughter now?”
An assessing look comes my way. “You got your anger under control, ‘cause that’s what she expects from you? You’ve got the power to hurt her badly.”
I almost snap he should leave the parenting advice to someone who knows what they’re talking about, but deep down I know he’s right. Alicia’s lesson’s been taught already. My focus is on helping her move forward.
After analysing the expression on my face and finding it satisfies him, he stands and holds out his hand to me. I take it to get to my feet but release it immediately. Then, side by side, we head into the clubhouse.
It’s full of men clad in leather but looking past and around them, I can see a bar stretches down one side of what is a clubroom. Tables and chairs are scattered around, and at the opposite end to the door is a small stage and stripper pole. I should have expected that, I suppose. And here is where my daughter’s come to ask for sanctuary? I’ve got to get her home.
Grumbler's Ride: Satan's Devils MC San Diego #2 Page 14
