Tony angles past his parents and joins us. His tie is crooked and - his suit is brown. But I've never seen him look so marvelous.
"Can I go?" he asks.
His parents stare at him. They stare at us. His mom puts her hand over her mouth. His father steps back from the doorway.
"It looks like you're going anyway," he says sternly
"But I want you to say I can go," Tony implores, his voice cracking.
His father looks torn between dogma and helplessness. As a result, he simply walks away.
Tony turns to his mom. Tears drop from her eyes. She looks at Infinite Darlene. She looks at Joni. She looks at me and Kyle. Then she looks at her son.
"Please," he whispers.
She nods. "Have fun," she says. "Be back by midnight."
Tony beams with relief. His mother does not, not even when he leans over to kiss her good-bye.
"Thank you," he says.
She holds him for a moment, looks into his eyes. Then she lets him go with us into the night.
We all want to cheer, but we know we have to wait to do that. We've been given another reason to dance.
We head back to the cars. Tony holds back for a moment.
"Wait a second," he says.
"What?" I ask him. Everyone stops to listen.
"Can we be late for the dance?" he says. "I have an idea."
What I Will Always Remember
9 P.M. on a November Saturday. We are in a clearing surrounded by trees and bushes, under the protection of a hill we like to call a mountain. Word has spread, and most of our friends are here. The Dowager is waiting in the gym. She'll get her chance soon enough.
Someone's brought a radio, and we're dancing as the tunes dangle in the air. We are illuminated by flashlights and candles. We carry our grandfathers' cigarette cases and our grandmothers' bangles. We are young and the night is young. We are in the middle of somewhere and we are feeling everything.
The dirt is our dance floor. The stars are our elaborate decoration. We dance with abandon --only the happiness exists for us here. I spin Amber around in a tango, both of us making up the steps as we go along. Tony and Kyle are dancing next to us. Happy. Laughing.
In this space, in this moment, we are who we want to be. I am lucky, because for me that doesn't take that much courage. But for others, it takes a world of bravery to make it to the clearing.
I dance with Noah. Slow songs and fast songs. During the slow songs, more of the unsaid things are understood. Be careful. I'm still learning. You are so beautiful. This is so beautiful.
During the fast songs, all those thoughts disappear, and there's the giddy exhilaration of being a part of the crowd, a part of the music, a part of all our differences and all the things we share.
At the next song switch, I hang back. I want to see this as well as be a part of it. I want to remember it for what it is. I am amazed by the love I feel for so many people. I am amazed at the randomness, the comedy, and the faith that brings us all together and makes us hold on. I open myself wide to take it all in. The scene plays out like a rhapsody.
I see trees of green and dresses of white. I see Infinite Darlene whooping for joy as Amber attempts to dip her to the ground. I see Ted cheering them on as he strums an air guitar. I see Kyle and Tony talking quietly together, sharing their words. I see Joni leading Chuck in a slow dance. I see candles in the darkness and a bird against the sky. I see Noah walking over to me, care in his eyes, a blessed smile on his lips.
And I think to myself, What a wonderful world.
Boy Meets Boy Page 18
