by Deja Voss
There’s a river racing below, and as he extends his hand out for me, I feel both excited and nervous. I’ve never been afraid of heights, but I’ve also never been this high before. High up from the earth, high up from the ride, high on him. My heart races and I take a couple deep breaths before joining him.
“What is this place?” I ask.
“I think we can both agree there isn’t a lot of beauty in this world,” he says. “Not in these lives we were dealt anyway.”
He sits down on the rock and I sit next to him, the stone cold and rough under my ass. His profile is so sexy in this sunlight, the way he looks out over the river with this dark pensive stare something out of a magazine. It fills me with warmth knowing that no matter what happens, this moment with him is mine and mine alone. Mine forever. It doesn’t matter what happens in the days ahead.
“I try to see beauty every day,” I say. “Some days it’s a lot harder than other days, but all I have to do is hear a song that makes me feel a certain way, or pet my dog, and I know the world isn’t such a bad place.”
“You have a dog?”
I open my mouth to talk, but stop myself. I really do miss Juniper, but just because he has me out here in this beautiful place, my brain all goopy from motorcycle bliss, doesn’t mean I should let my guard down quite yet. Juniper’s probably living her best life with Riley and her kids, and all the land she has to run around freely. I don’t know how much trouble I’ll get anyone in if I let on to her involvement, especially since her husband is a cop. Why did Kid have to disappear at such a critical time?
“You have anybody looking for you?” he asks, as if it just dawned on him the possibility that somebody might be out there wondering when I’m coming home. That essentially he’s kidnapped me and could be in deep shit.
It’s my ticket out of here. If I tell him somebody’s looking for me, maybe he’ll leave me.
He reaches for my hand and every muscle in my body tenses as he intertwines his fingers with mine and squeezes just a little.
“My mom’s dead,” I blurt out, the stupidest thing I could possibly say. I swear every time he touches me, I turn into an idiot. I’m a grown woman. My dead mom should have absolutely no bearing on my life today, but she was my world. She was the only person who would’ve ever come looking for me if I disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I stare off over the cliff, the sound of the rapids crashing off the rocks below and the crickets singing their last goodbyes before the summer turns into the fall, lulling me into a sort of trance. I can feel his eyes on me, but I’m doing everything in my power not to be here, not to get sucked into this false sense of comfort.
How many more of these sunsets could we possibly have together?
How many more sunsets could I possibly have at all if everything keeps going this way.
“I want you to trust me.” He inches his body closer to mine and my heart beats so fast I think it’s going to explode out of my chest.
“I do,” I quip. “I got on your death machine, didn’t I?”
He laughs and strokes his fingers down my thigh, sending a chill right down my spine.
“There’s a difference between being fatalistic and being trusting. I saw the way you looked at Kid that first night I met you. You looked at him like you would follow him off a cliff.” His hand tightens on my leg and I wonder, maybe this truly is it. Maybe he is going to chuck me off this rock into the rapids below, no matter what sweet stuff he whispered in my ear before. “When you look at me, there’s nothing there. You might follow me off a cliff, but it’s only because you don’t care what happens either way.”
I bite my lip. “I have to,” I say. “It’s the only way I can survive. It’s the only way you’re going to survive.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.
“Your men would feed me to the wolves at the first chance they had. If they had any idea you were in on this… if you knew the things I knew… you’d be a target, too.”
He laughs like a mad man. “Babe, you don’t even have half a clue who you’re dealing with, do you? I know exactly what you’re saying, and worse… I’ve been in the MC long enough to know the kind of pain I’m bringing on myself right now, Annabella. I’ve been on the other side of this situation before. I know exactly what we do to traitors.”
“And you’re willing to risk that… for me?” I ask, squinting my eyes. “Are you crazy? Or are you just as fatalistic as I am?”
“Not fatalistic,” he says, putting his arm around my shoulder. “and I’m also smart enough to know this wasn’t all your doing. My club hurt you. Even if it was long before I was involved, my men wronged you. I might be a dick. I might not always say the right thing, but I promise you, Annabella, I do right by the people in my life, no matter how bad it hurts.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh. I love everything I’m hearing, I know he’s being true, but I too want to do right by him. Dragging him into this shit storm with me isn’t just selfish, it’s cruel.
“The fact you even worried about me for one second shows you’re a good person,” he says. “True heart. You’re good old lady material.”
“If I make it to be an old lady,” I say with a laugh. “If I keep living like this, I don’t think I’ll see my forties.”
He cups my chin in his hand, his dark eyes permeating my defenses. My thighs clench, and I don’t want to fight anymore. Just his glare makes me want to abandon reality, abandon everything I know to be true right now, and believe that there’s a place in the world for the two of us, a place where we can exist without having to worry about my past, or our future.
“Maybe we don’t have forever,” he says. “But as long as I have you, you’re mine. You understand?” I gulp as he tangles his fingers in my hair, tucking it behind my ear. “I will use my dying breath to fight for you. I will never let anyone hurt you. I will make damn sure, no matter what happens, you’ll never have to worry another day in your life.”
He presses his lips to my neck and it feels like all the air is being sucked out of my body. My toes curl as I let out a gasp. “You trust me with your body, Annabella. I can feel it in the way you’re pulling me closer.”
He’s right.
I could push him away at any instant. Push him to a swift death in the river below if I was so inclined. I could be gone. Free. Disappear into the setting sun and never look back on this town.
I mash my lips to his like a starved woman, wanting him, needing him, throwing everything away just to believe for one minute that he’s right. Nobody’s ever made me feel the way he has, willing to give up any little scrap of control I had just to let somebody else take the wheel. Nobody’s ever told me everything was going to be ok and I believed them.
Nobody’s ever truly got me to submit.
And now he has it. His grip in my hair tightens as his tongue parts my lips, and I groan. His fingertips trace down my chest as his hands land firmly on my breasts, squeezing them firmly as he moans into my mouth.
“I knew the second I laid eyes on you, you were going to be mine, Annabella,” he growls as he pulls away from our kiss. I straddle his lap, his hands traveling up my back, and I don’t jerk away when he gets to my scars. He’s seen them. One day he will know them. I trust him.
“I knew the second I saw you, I wanted to take your pants off,” I say with a laugh, remembering that night Kid first introduced us. Everything was so innocent then. I know I never thought we’d be here.
“So you are a dirty girl?” His eyes light up as he licks his lips.
“Not always,” I say, grinding my hips against his, his cock stiffening in his jeans. Not ever, really. This man makes me insatiable. He makes me hungry. He makes me feel… like I’m allowed to want. For once in my life, I covet something more than just survival, and it’s empowering.
“You know this is more than that, right? I don’t take this shit lightly, Annabella.” He peels my hoodie off over my he
ad, and even though I know nobody is around, I feel so vulnerable out here in the woods, the cool breeze on my skin. “I don’t take this shit lightly.”
He unclasps my bra, and the look of absolute bliss on his face makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I melt into his embrace as he coats every inch of my breasts in soft wet kisses, his tongue tracing over my nipples until they’re hard as stone.
“Give me your trust,” he says, looking up at me with his big dark eyes. “Look at me and tell me.”
“I trust you,” I whisper with lust like I’ve never felt before. “I want you, I want it all.”
“And you’re gonna give it all to me. Everything. Not just your body, Annabella,” he says, his hands traveling to my ass, squeezing it hard. “Although right now, it’s a good start.”
He lifts me up slightly, tugging down the waistband of my sweatpants, so strong, so certain. I fumble with his shirt, feeling his muscles ripple under my fingertips. He flattens his hand up against my wet slit and I buck my hips, desperate for release already. Like the last few days have just been some fucked-up foreplay all building up to this minute. I am out of my mind, ready to explode, and he loves it.
“You in a hurry or something?” he asks with a grin, sliding a finger inside me as I moan with delight. “I’ve been looking forward to this moment, Annabella. The moment I have you right in the palm of my hand.” He slides another finger in me, stretching my walls, and I turn into a rag doll as he flicks them back and forth, hitting my G-spot. He pulls them out, bringing them to my lips, and I hungrily suck them, desperate to please him.
He flips me on my back, parting my thighs as I reach for his belt. He backs away, admiring my naked body in the setting sun, his muscular body casting a shadow over me. I have never been so turned on in my life, waiting for his next move.
Giving over control, enthusiastically, wanting to hand it over, it’s the exact opposite of being drunk. It’s like being a god, the awareness of having the ability to give over the most integral part of me. Something I have never accomplished. I know he will show me the secrets of the universe if I let him inside me, and not just physically.
He slowly unzips his jeans, tugging them around his thick thighs, his dick standing at full attention though his black boxer briefs. I gulp in anticipation, knowing it’s going to hurt and not even caring. I would take all the pain in the world just for a night of pleasure with him. I would eagerly throw myself off that cliff, and I can see in his eyes he knows it.
He pulls his boxers down and fists his cock in his hand. It’s definitely bigger than I imagined, veiny and dripping with precum. He pulls a condom out of his wallet and hands it to me, and I look up at him quizzically.
“Put it on me,” he says. “If you want me, put it on me.”
I feel a warmth rush over me, and I’m certain I’m blushing. The fact that he pulled me out of this moment just to show me he’s got my best interest at heart is enough to pull me in just a little more. If he got any sexier, I would probably just melt into a puddle of goo.
I rip it open, thumbing at the rubber, staring him in the eye as I stretch it over his massive cock.
He parts my thighs, flicking at my clit with his tongue. “I could do this all day,” he says.
“Fuck me, Ransom,” I plead. He looks up at me with a devilish grin, and I gasp, my whole body trembling with anticipation. He clasps my hips in his hands, lining his cock up with my dripping pussy, and as he sticks the tip in, I throw my head back with bliss.
“Not so fast, babe,” he says, slapping the side of my ass just hard enough to bring me back to the moment. “Stay here with me. All the way.”
There’s a look on his face like he needs me here as much as he wants me. I don’t know what’s behind those sad eyes, but I want to take it all away. “I’m here,” I gasp, as he pulls my hips into him, taking my entire pussy with one thrust. “With you.”
He grips my hips in his hands as he thrusts in and out, first slowly, as my body adjusts to his girth. The cool air on my skin mixed with the warmth of his breath almost sends me over the edge as quickly as the pressure on my G-spot. So many sensations overwhelm me, and yet, I’m here… with him…
I hook my ankles behind his back, inviting him deeper than I think is even possible. The pinch of pressure, the slap of his thighs off mine, it’s a lot to take. His eyes on mine are everything, though. I dig my fingernails into his back. “I’m gonna cum…” I whisper.
“Good,” he growls. “Give it all to me, Annabella.”
My pussy constricts around his dick, and my body explodes in ecstasy. I scream his name as he reaches down and presses his thumb into my already sensitive clit.
“I can’t take anymore!” I squeal, every square inch of my skin feeling like it’s on fire with lust, and I gasp for air.
“You will,” he whispers in my ear before quickly flipping me over, pressing me flat against the rock. As he enters from behind me, I look over my shoulder, even though I feel like I’m watching this from outside my body. His hand gently tugs my hair as he thrusts in and out, taking my body as his, claiming me with his powerful strokes. His eyes look crazy. It’s incredibly sexy. He thrusts into me one last time, gripping my hips, holding me onto his cock as he erupts inside me.
“Mine,” he says with a groan, hugging me tight as his body relaxes. He kisses my shoulder as our breathing begins to slow.
He peels himself off of me and I shiver, a combination of pure delight from the hardest orgasm I ever had and the cool night air. He turns me around and his face grows concerned.
“What?”
He strokes his fingers across my chest and shows me the blood on his hand.
I laugh and give him a gentle kiss on the lips. “That rock. It’s bumpy.” I look down at the little scrapes across my chest. Maybe it’s fucked up, but it turns me on. “It’s hot. When you just lose it like that and take me like an animal. I like it.”
He grabs my chin and kisses me with so much fervor, I feel myself aching to have him inside me again. “Why are you so perfect?” he asks.
“I’m really not,” I say. I slide back into my sweatpants and pull the hoodie up over my head. It’s super dark now, the only light coming from the half moon and the stars in the sky. We both fumble as we get dressed, but every time his hand grazes mine, it’s like electric sparks. I just want to linger in this moment forever. It’s awkward, and I don’t know if he feels like everything changed between us tonight, or if it’s just my own wishful thinking.
He pulls his cellphone out of the pocket of his jeans and flips on the flashlight, hooking his fingers around mine as we walk back to the bike.
“You trust me now?” he asks, handing me the helmet.
Is it trust? Is it lust? I don’t know the first thing about how I’m feeling because it’s so foreign to me. I know he makes me feel whole, but there’s still something so sad behind his eyes, like he’s looking for something in me that I’ll never be able to give him. I am a traitor to his club. I am the bad guy. I need to be as far away from him as possible if he wants to have a fighting chance. The closer he pulls me in, the harder it’s going to be on both of us.
But maybe he’s right.
Maybe we can do this together. Maybe I am underestimating him.
“My dog’s name is Juniper,” I say. “She’s a scrappy mutt I found behind the dumpster at work. I have no idea what kind of dog she is or how old she is, but we just kind of hit it off right out the gate. She’s the only thing that kept me from quitting life more than once.”
“Where is she?” he asks. “Somebody feeding her?”
“I miss her. She’s the only thing I have left from my old life.”
“Where is she?” he repeats. “Is somebody expecting you back? Is somebody out there looking for you?”
“Nobody’s looking for me, Ransom. I promise.”
“Where’s the dog?”
I bite my lip and hang my head. “She’s at Riley’s house.”
/>
He puts his fist to his lip and shakes his head. “Of course she is. Fuckin’ Kid. Boy, he really made a mess, didn’t he?”
I shrug. I don’t know if he’s ready for the full truth. I don’t want to be the one to tell him the only reason why I’m here today is because him and Driller showed up at Barret’s apartment that night. I should be long gone, and even though I want to stay here and pretend like everything is going to be alright, that he truly can keep me safe, as easy as it is to believe him, I know as soon as I get the word from Kid, all this is going to be over.
I’ll be gone forever.
He’ll never have to live with the secrets I keep in my heart.
“Wanna go home?” he asks, wrapping me in a big bear hug as I shiver, fighting back my tears.
“Yeah,” I whisper. I will hold on to him with everything I have, as this may be our last ride together. I will hold on to him as tightly as he has a grip on my heart.
23
Ransom:
I park my truck on the other side of the block, pull my hoodie up over my head and my sunglasses down low, keeping my eyes on the sidewalk in front of me. I laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, the fact that I look like I’m out here breaking into houses or committing a hit, but instead I’m just trying to liberate some dumpster dog.
I don’t care. Annabella has me wrapped so tight around her finger, I’d go to a zoo and snatch a giraffe if she asked me to. The two of us are standing on the edge of something I can’t even start to wrap my brain around, and for some reason, the only thing I want to do is win her over. Earn her trust. Crack her open. Break her. This dog is going to be step one, but I’ll take it as far as I need to.
My phone rings in my jeans pocket. I can’t avoid Driller’s calls much longer, so I pick it up. “Hey man, I can’t talk right now,” I say. “I’m kind of busy.”
