by Deja Voss
“You aren’t weak, woman,” I say, pressing my lips to hers. “You’re perfect.”
“You make me feel free,” she whispers. “When you take control, I have no more worries. I like when you take my control.”
Her eyes are hooded and she presses her tongue to her lips, smiling at me.
“You might hurt me, but you’ll never really break me. You might push me but you’ll never shatter me. You are the perfect balance of pleasure and pain, Ransom. I give you my body because I trust you.”
The words just hang in the air as I stare down over her perfect body, her trembling thighs, her hard nipples, her tits covered in goosebumps. Sprawled out there for the taking, sprawled out for me and only me.
“I want more,” I say, pressing my cock to her lower lip. She gasps as she opens her mouth enough to take the tip in, swirling her tongue around it until I throw my head back. “I want it all, Annabella.”
“Right now, you have it all,” she says, cradling my balls in her hand. “It’s just you and me.”
And the ghost of her past. And the voice of Kid. And the uncertainty of the future. It’s not just her and me, as much as I’d like it to be. Any iota of control I have is just momentary. It’s not real.
She takes my dick in her mouth, and I instinctively wrap my fingers in her curly hair, letting her take her time, enjoying the sweet sensations of her tongue, her lips, the gentle sucking.
I look down at her pretty face and grip her hair a little tighter. Her eyes light up as I begin to roughly thrust in and out of her, her hand traveling between her legs.
“You’re going to give it all to me, Annabella,” I growl. “No more games. No more right now. No more tonight. That pussy you’re playing with, that’s mine.”
She nods, taking my dick deeper in her throat as she slips a finger inside herself.
“Make it feel real good, babe. Get it ready for me.”
I don’t think my cock could get any harder. I could cum down her throat in an instant if I let myself. I grab her glistening fingers and bring them to my lips, tasting her pleasure, knowing it belongs to me.
I grab a condom from the nightstand, slipping it on as quickly as I can, driving my dick into her hard. She digs her fingernails into my back, her eyes locked on mine, just like I like it. Every time our hip bones collide, every thrust into her dripping pussy, I lose myself in the power I have over her. I lose myself in knowing that, even for one second, she is mine. I bite down on her tit and she yelps then groans out “Yes,” and I continue to mark her, thrusting harder each time I see the red welts on her perfect skin.
“I’m gonna cum,” she bellows, her thighs clenching up against mine, her fingernails digging so deep I can feel the blood rising to my skin. She throws her head back and completely loses it, milking my cock so hard, I explode inside her at once.
As she lays there trembling, I kiss every inch of her body, starting with the soles of her feet. “Mine,” I whisper, bringing her toe to my lips.
“Yes,” she groans softly.
I work my way up her legs, delighting in the way she tries to pull away as I kiss behind her knees. Her feet firmly clenched in my hands, I part her legs and bury my head between her beautiful thighs, lapping at her pussy, knowing this is exactly where I want to spend the rest of my life. She loses it once again, the sound of her cumming so heavenly, I feel my dick start to harden again. Everything about her makes me wild. Makes me lose myself.
Makes me lose the man I thought I was.
I am weak for her so I can be strong for her.
As I wrap my body around hers, spooning her tight, holding her like if I let go, she’s gonna disappear, I know that’s more of a reality than I want to admit right now.
Our time together is limited.
I am strong enough to hold her, but am I strong enough to let her free?
My cellphone buzzes across the nightstand, and my heart sinks as I see Romeo’s number scroll across the screen, snapping me from this temporary fantasy. I don’t know how much longer I can go without giving him answers. I don’t know right this second what my answer would be, anyway. All I know is that this perfect creature I have tucked in my arms is worth losing everything I have. Everything I know.
The question is, will she let me?
24
The morning sun filters through the blinds, and the sound of Juniper’s snoring from the floor below startles me at first, but when I realize where I am and who I’m with, I can’t help but smile. For the first time since moving here, I feel like I’m home.
I hurry up and grab my phone from the nightstand, silencing it. I don’t want to wake her. This moment is too perfect, and for all I know it’s the last one we’re gonna have. The random number is going to have to wait. I roll over and press my lips to her shoulder, wishing I could kiss away all those scars, love them away, let her put that part of her life behind her.
She stirs a little, and I pull the covers up tighter. My phone rings again and I throw my legs over the side of the bed, hating to leave her. “Hello?” I answer, my voice gruff from sleep.
“Thank God you answered,” Kid says. “I only have a couple minutes. This line secure?”
As much as I’m glad to hear from him, I was hoping it would take a little longer. I know he and Annabella have arrangements, and even though it’s the best thing for her and me, I thought I could live in this fantasy land for more than a night.
“The guys are getting restless. I don’t know how much longer I can keep her away,” I say. “I’m a shitty liar, Kid. You better have a real good plan.”
“I’m sorry I put you in this position, man,” he says. “Wasn’t supposed to end up like this. I don’t know why the fuck she didn’t just stick to the plan.”
I know exactly why she didn’t stick to the plan. It was all my fault. Driller and I were never supposed to show up at Barret’s place that night. She veered course to save my life, and now she’s going to pay for it if I can’t protect her.
“You should’ve told me this was going down. Should’ve told anybody,” I say, feeling the anger rise in me as I pace down the hallway. He shouldn’t have even put her in this position to begin with. Letting her do his dirty work while he hid out in jail is a complete bitch move. If he really fucking cared about her, this wouldn’t even be happening right now. “You set her up for failure.”
“She wanted it, Ransom,” he says. I wish I could reach through the phone and backhand him.
“Fuck you,” I say. “You don’t know the first thing about what she wants. You don’t know shit about her. You just used her to act out your little murder fantasy. You don’t care about anybody but yourself, Kid. Now look at where we are. We’re all fucked.”
He sighs real long and labored, like I’m just a child throwing a temper tantrum and he’s just hearing me out. Like the two of them have these grand plans, and the only reason why I’m here is to act as a buffer. I know he has a part of her I’ll never be privileged to. I don’t know how deep it goes. I don’t fucking like it, though. If she was my woman, I would’ve never put her in a position to get her hands dirty like that. Even if she ‘wanted it’ as he claims.
“You don’t know the first thing about Annabella,” he says. “You’re just using her to act out your little damsel in distress fantasy.”
“I know more about her than you think,” I say. I want to hurt him. I want to make him jealous. I want him to know that while he’s locked up, I’m getting the best of her. “I know she would definitely pick me over you.”
He laughs. “It ain’t like that at all, Ransom. I’m not trying to get with her. Never have been. I’m trying to make right by what my father did wrong. It ain’t always about claiming bitches. When I found that girl, she was fifteen years old and had never seen grass before. She thought horses were made up. She was at the mercy of whatever the assholes who captured her felt like giving her, no clothes, no nothing of her own.”
I slink down in a chair at my kitchen ta
ble, feeling like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. I tossed her in a room. I took away her clothes. I left all her needs at my mercy. I took away everything she had once again, as little as it might be. I am just as big of a monster as Stoney, as her captors.
“I made arrangements for her to disappear,” he says. “Go to the clubhouse tonight and while you’re gone, I’ll send a taxi. If anybody asks where she is, tell ’em you took care of it. Tell ’em you put her in a ditch.”
I think about that perfect angel sleeping in my bed, how she is the only person who ever made me feel like I was worth a shit, and the way I wronged her by trying to keep her here with me. I know the right thing to do is put her in that taxi. I’d never be able to give her the life she deserves. I’d never be able to make the club see what I see. We’d both end up dead.
“Put her on the phone,” he says. “I want to talk to her.”
I know it’s shitty, but I feel like if I put him on the phone with her, he’s taking something that’s mine. Hell, he’s already got plans to ship her off and disappear her. They already have this secret life together that nobody is in on, and I fucking hate it. I hate that he was the one who rescued her. I hate that I didn’t get there first.
I tiptoe back to the bedroom. Juniper has made her way up onto the bed and Annabella lays there wearing nothing but a wide smile, petting her dog. I want to just crawl back in bed and hold her, pretend like everything’s alright, but I know that’s not fair.
I hold out the phone. “It’s Kid. You wanna talk to him?”
Her eyes light up and she nods enthusiastically, patting the bed for me to sit down next to her. I plant a long kiss on her lips before handing over the phone. I want her to know I’m the man who’s here for her, and he’s the man who bailed on her when she needed him. I know it’s petty, but she needs reminded.
“Brad! I am so glad to hear from you. Are you alright? They feeding you in there?” she asks. I know they both say it’s completely platonic, but every time she laughs, every time she makes some silly joke, every time she squeezes my knee as she babbles on, visions of Carley and Stoney take over my mind. I’ve already had one woman taken from me by Kid’s father. I try to hide my disgust, rolling over to pet Juniper.
“Tonight?” she stammers. “Brad, I haven’t even finished the job yet. I’m going to need more time. No, I swear. I am safe here. I’m happy here. Yes, of course I had sex with him. I told you I was going to.”
She sticks out her tongue and winks at me, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.
“Why does it have to be tonight?” she shouts.
Her eyes grow lower, a huge frown crossing her face.
“Can’t we just pull the Pearl card? I haven’t even talked to her yet. C’mon.”
She gets real quiet, and clamps her lips shut tight, and I can tell she’s fighting back tears. “Why the hell would you do that?” she finally shouts. “You promised me you’d always keep me safe, Brad. You promised me.”
She rifles my phone across the room so hard it bounces off the wall and falls to the floor with a thud.
“What happened?” I ask.
I’ve never seen her this angry before, not even when she found out I was spying on her. She clenches her fists and starts to shake, her face turning bright red.
“Are you in on this?” she blurts out. “Did you tell him to get rid of me?”
“Annabella,” I say, grabbing her fists in mine, feeling the heat radiating from her skin. “I’ve been with you all night. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“He’s sending for me tonight. He’s gonna tell Romeo I’m a secret informant. Gonna tell him you know. You’re gonna go to the clubhouse and tell them you killed me. That you took care of me. Put me in a ditch.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?” I ask. It fucking pains me to say it. It pains me even more knowing that maybe she thought things didn’t have to end up like this.
“I guess so,” she whispers through her tears. “I’m sorry I’m acting like this. I guess I just thought I had more time. I don’t know why I’m so emotional right now.”
“It’s not what I want, Annabella,” I say. “I want to make it right. I want to give you a good life. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You have to,” she says. She presses her lips to mine. “If you don’t let me go, we’re both going to end up dead.”
25
Annabella:
I try to hold back my tears as I walk around the house one last time. I know I need to be strong, I know this is for the better, for both of us, but leaving him just might be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
The way he holds me in his arms, the way he makes me feel like everything is going to be alright even when everything is going to shit, the way he makes me feel normal for once in my life, I don’t know if I’ll ever get that again. It was good while it lasted.
I open a drawer in the kitchen, looking for a piece of paper so I can leave him a note, so I can pour my heart out, when I see headlights in the driveway through the curtains. I bite my lip, and start to close the drawer, when I notice a picture of him and Kid tucked in a bunch of random knickknacks. I kiss his face and tuck it into my bra, thankful I’ll at least have a little something to remember him by.
“Come on, Juniper,” I say. She’s sprawled out on the couch, her belly in the air, snoring so loud she sounds like a chainsaw. Even she doesn’t want to leave. I pet her until she wakes up and nudge her down from the couch. “Time to go, pup!”
I know she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but I hope if I do it as enthusiastically as possible, maybe I can convince myself this next adventure is going to be our best adventure. If everything shakes out like Kid promised, I’ll have my own place with a whole new identity. I’ll have legal documents so I’ll be able to do things like get my high school diploma, get a driver’s license, and have whatever kind of job I want. I won’t have to do everything under the table. I won’t have to “not exist.”
Granted, I won’t be Annabella anymore. I can be whoever I want. But I won’t have to spend every day looking over my shoulder.
A few months ago, that would’ve sounded like everything I could’ve ever hoped and dreamed for. Now, I’m dragging my feet as I start walking towards the door.
To my surprise, the front door swings open, and in walks Ransom. He looks stressed, his jaw clenched, and he runs back to his bedroom without saying a word.
I peek outside, and sure enough, it’s just his big black truck parked there in the driveway, the motor still running. I tiptoe back to the bedroom, where he’s got a suitcase laid out on his bed. He grabs armfuls of clothes and a gun from his nightstand and shoves them inside.
“What are you doing?” I ask, watching him rip his room apart.
“You trust me?” He looks up from his suitcase, his eyes dark and heavy, like he’s exhausted. Like he’s completely all out of fucks to give.
“Yes,” I reply, and this time I think I actually mean it.
“We need to get out of here in ten minutes, then. We need to get away for a while. Lay low, let some shit blow over.”
“You’re coming with me?” I ask, my heart filling up with a mixture of sheer joy and utter dread. I know what this means. He’s turning his back on his club. For me. I just don’t know if I deserve it.
“If you want to go by yourself, you can,” he says. “Sounds like Kid has a real good arrangement made for you.”
“Or?”
“Or… I guess we can just figure it out. You and me.”
“I’d never ask you to give up who you are for me. I’d never ask you to turn your back on your family, Ransom. You barely even know me,” I say, my voice wavering. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I know if he’s by my side, everything is going to be ok. I also know we don’t exist in a bubble. The world is a dangerous place, especially when I am a part of it.
“I know you better than I know my family,” h
e says, zipping up his bag. “At the end of the day, Annabella, you show me the kind of man I really am. I didn’t like what I was seeing before. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m finally going down the right path. You’re my truth.”
“I’m scared,” I say.
He reaches for his holster on his hip and looks me in the eye with a deep and knowing scowl on his face. If only our problems were as simple as shooting them away. If only we could just kill everything that didn’t fit into our perfect world. I already tried that once, and now I’m in an even bigger mess than I ever imagined.
“I’m scared you’re gonna change your mind,” I say. “I don’t know what I’d do if I had to give you up.” My life was so much easier before I knew he existed, before I knew him and opened up to him. Now my fear is what’s going to happen when I have to let him go.
“You’re never going to have to worry about that,” he says, hefting his suitcase to the ground. “Only thing you’re gonna have to worry about is how you’re gonna get away from me when you get sick of me.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I try and hold in the tears as I rest my head on his chest. He flicks out the light in his bedroom and flicks out the light in the hallway, and Juniper dances at our feet. She seems more excited about this adventure than either one of us, like her animal brain somehow knows everything is going to be alright.
We walk to the front door and he stops for a second, looking around his house. I squeeze his hand in mine, hoping maybe he’ll change his mind, while wishing with every part of my being that he doesn’t.
“You have to answer one question before we do this,” he says, his tone serious. “I promise I will never ask you again.”
“Anything,” I say.
“Do you love Kid?”
“I do,” I say, but it’s the honest truth. Kid took me from a life I wasn’t going to survive through much longer, be it by the hands of my captors and their clients, or by my own psychological demise. Kid saved me and my mother, gave us a place to live, gave us hope for a future. He never asked for anything in return, he never tried to make me feel like I owed him something. He was the first person who I ever trusted aside from my mom.
