by Chiah Wilder
“I like that name. I don’t think I could call a man Animal and do it with a straight face.” Ivy giggled.
“You should hear some of the road names that bikers have, Animal isn’t that bad.” Skull Crusher—her father’s name, and Torturer—her dad’s best friend’s name came to mind.
“I guess. I think I’m just too square, that’s why I liked Brady—he was pretty conservative. He was also very meticulous and liked everything in its place.” Her voice hitched.
“But he wasn’t too nice during sex, remember?”
“I know, but that was a small part of us. I can’t believe he lied to me.”
For the next couple of hours, Olivia listened to her friend vent, cry, and lament over the breakup, and by the time Olivia locked the door to her house, she was exhausted to the bone. She kicked off her heels, unzipped her dress pants, and lifted her sweater top over her head as she trudged into the bathroom to wash off her makeup.
Fresh-faced and her dark brown hair in a half, pulled-through ponytail on the top of her head, Olivia sat in the desk chair with one of her legs tucked under her bottom, scrolling through the multitude of messages posted in her dating account. When Olivia had set up her profile, she’d used her middle name and a fake last name. As she read the messages, she scribbled notes in her writing pad. She already had half a notebook of research for her psychology paper, and she’d only had her profile up for a little over two weeks.
A bell chimed indicating that someone named “Hunter” had sent her a Real Time message, and she opened it.
Hunter: You sound like an intriguing lady.
Olivia scratched the side of her nose, then picked up her pen and jotted down what the person had sent her. She messaged back using “Rose,” her alias name.
Rose: I am.
She groaned as she clicked the SEND button.
Hunter: Now you’ve really piqued my curiosity. I wish I could see more of you.
Olivia shook her head. “No way, buddy,” she whispered under her breath.
Rose: Maybe when we get to know each other better. Your picture is a bit vague too.
She opened a bottle of water on her desk and took a sip.
Hunter: It wouldn’t be fair if I shared and you didn’t. How many men are you talking to?
Rose: Not many. You’re the first to reach out to me in Real Time.
Hunter: That’s because I’m serious. A lot of men just want only one thing.
Olivia scribbled in her notebook and took another drink of water.
Rose: And you don’t?
Hunter: I’m not vulgar like that. I want the right woman for a real connection. What do you want?
Rose: The same. I’d love to share my life with someone, but that special person is hard to find.
Hunter: I totally agree. Do you live with your parents?
“That’s an odd question,” she muttered under her breath while writing it in her notebook.
Rose: No. Why?
Hunter: Just wondered. Your profile said you were twenty-five. A lot of people in their twenties, even thirties still live at home because of the expensive rents. I guess you must have roommates.
“Okay, buddy, you’re just getting weirder,” Olivia said out loud.
Rose: Nope. What about you? I see you’re thirty-seven.
Hunter: I don’t live with my parents, if that’s what you’re asking. Just joking. I own my home and live alone.
Rose: That’s cool.
Hunter: It can be very lonely sometimes. Do you ever get lonely, Rose?
Rose: I do.
For the next half hour, Hunter kept messaging her and they talked about a lot of different subjects and topics, but never anything racy. Olivia could see the way he was trying to play on her emotions, especially on her professed loneliness. “He’s definitely trying to reel me in,” she muttered as she leaned back against the chair and stretched her arms high above her head. Olivia had decided that Hunter Lewis would be the star in her research paper. She’d have to dig up a photo to send him, then see how far he would take this. She didn’t believe for one minute that he was as unique as he claimed to be. Even though he acted like a gentleman, Olivia wasn’t really buying Hunter’s act. Maybe he’d surprise her and be exactly what he claimed to be: an old-fashioned man, who respected women and wanted to make a soulful connection. The only way she’d find out was to meet him, and with her paper due in less than six weeks, Olivia had to make sure to move things along quickly.
There was one thing for certain: Hunter Lewis was different from any of the other guys who’d contacted her. A part of her was more than curious to meet him, and another part of her was terrified. Hunter set off small alarm bells inside her, but she chalked that up to him being a stranger in cyberspace, where so many people weren’t who they claimed to be.
Rose: It was nice getting to know you, but I have to go now.
Hunter: I want to get to know you better. Let’s talk tomorrow night at around nine?
Rose: Sure. Nite, Hunter.
Hunter: I look forward to continuing our conversation. Nine o’clock can’t come fast enough. Goodnight, Rose.
Olivia clicked out of her profile and shut down her computer. Hunter seemed fascinated by her and anxious to move things along. A thread of apprehension wove its way along her spine. She stood and switched off the floor lamp, then walked around the house and double-checked all the doors and windows to make sure they were locked. “Can I get any more paranoid?” she mumbled while slipping the chain on the front door. Olivia pulled aside the sheet covering her living room window and looked out at the empty street. The evergreens stood erect in the front yards across the cul-de-sac. The tops of the neighboring maple trees swayed slowly in the nighttime breeze. She shifted her gaze to a window at Animal’s house. Slits of light filtered through its shutters, casting thin threads of gold onto the frost-covered bushes on the side of the house.
Olivia pictured Animal sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table as he watched television, and a cozy feeling spread through her. As silly as it sounded, just seeing a light on in his house made her feel safe.
She let go of the sheet and crossed the room to her bedroom. Tucked under the comforter, Olivia drifted off to sleep as thoughts of Animal floated through her mind.
Chapter Fifteen
ANIMAL SAT AT the kitchen table and leaned back in his chair, watching his mother dice carrots for dinner. The window was ajar, and an early spring breeze rustled the maple leaves outside and carried the sweet scent of wildflowers mixed with pine.
He picked up his mug of coffee, took a drink, put it back on the table, and stretched his legs out. His mother threw him a sidelong glance but never stopped chopping the pile of vegetables on the wooden cutting board.
“Whatcha got on your mind?” she asked, picking up three stalks of celery.
Animal drew the mug to his mouth again without answering her.
“I know you got something on your mind. You didn’t come over here to watch me make beef stew. Is something going on with Lucy?”
“Lucy’s okay. I’m worried about you.”
She turned toward him. “There’s no reason for you to be worrying about me.” She laid the knife on the board, reached into the pocket of her housecoat, and took out a pack of cigarettes.
“Why the hell do you have an online profile on a dating site called Discreet Passion? The name alone is bad enough.”
“You were snooping? It’s none of your business what I do. Does that sound familiar? It should—you’ve told me that a couple of thousand times over the years.” Smoke rose as she drew on her cigarette, her gaze fierce and challenging.
“I wasn’t snooping, and what you do that affects the family is my damn business. What the hell’s the matter with you?” Animal looked through the doorway to the family room and saw his dad sitting in the wheelchair, his head supported by his arm, which was rested on the end table. The way his head hung down to his chest, it was obvious th
at he’d fallen asleep.
Animal tipped his head in the direction of the family room. “And what about Dad?”
His mother threw back her head and let out a deep, throaty guffaw, then she lifted the cigarette to her lips, took a drag, and slowly exhaled, the smoke drifting up through brown eyes the color of sun-dried beechwood.
“If you’d talked about this with your dad, you’d have known that it was his suggestion that I go out and look for a little fun.”
A sudden coldness hit his gut, and Animal jerked his head back, words failing him.
“Does that surprise you?” Again, she laughed way too loudly and glared at him. “You don’t know shit.” She stubbed out the cigarette and turned away from him, then began chopping again.
The rhythmic thud of the knife hitting against the wooden board was the only sound in the kitchen. Animal ran his gaze over his mom as he tried to understand what she’d just told him. He couldn’t believe that his dad would let his wife openly screw around with other men. Maybe it was because his dad thought of himself as less of a man because he’d lost his legs in the war, or maybe it was because he was no longer interested in anything sexual. Dad knows? The question kept running through his mind like he’d hit the rewind button on a tape recorder.
His stared at his mother. She was an attractive woman with dark brown hair to her shoulders and very well-fit. At fifty-five, she had maintained herself nicely, and always took the extra effort to dress and look good before she left the house. Animal suspected that most men would find his mom—Rena Walsh—to be quite pretty. But you’re married to Dad … and he’s okay with you whoring around? Anger clouded his mind, and regret stabbed his heart. He hated thinking ill of her, but all he could remember was how going out with her friends, getting her hair and nails done, and shopping took precedence over him and Jada when they were younger.
“So you don’t feel guilty at all?” Animal asked, breaking the tense silence between them.
“Not anymore.” Rena pivoted toward him. “I never thought my marriage would be like this. Before your dad went to Iraq, we had a wonderful and thriving marriage, but he came back broken in so many ways. His legs were gone, but so was his spirit, his desire, his will to adjust. I could live with his disability, but how do I repair a shattered soul? It was real tough for a long time. You were too busy with your club to notice or care, and Jada was still a teenager.”
“So you’re putting this on me?”
Rena placed her hands on her hips, a scowl deepening the lines between her brows. “You weren’t around very much, that’s all I’m saying. I was overwhelmed and you weren’t around.”
“And you were when I was young?”
Redness crept into his mother’s face, and Animal could hear her breath through her flaring nostrils.
“Don’t give me that shit! I did the best I could. You weren’t the easiest kid to raise.”
“Dad didn’t seem to have a problem with it.” Memories of his father’s kind patience filled his mind.
“I was always the bad parent when it came to you and him. Did you ever once try to understand what I was going through?”
“Being out all day with your friends and Dad having to cook dinner after a long day at the plant was kind of a clue to me that you didn’t give a shit.” Animal lifted one shoulder in a nonchalant shrug. “Maybe you didn’t like boys—Jada says you were a little better with her.”
“You ingrate,” Rena gritted.
“Yeah … I could say the same about you.” Animal held up his hand to halt any retorts his mother may have. “This is going nowhere—you and I have never gotten along. I just want to make sure you’re not hurting Dad. If he’s down for you strutting around town like a …” he caught himself before he said something he’d regret.
“Like a what?” Staring at him, her eyes brimmed with tears.
Fuck! He shook his head. “Just be careful, okay? There’re a lot of fucking crazies out there. Harmless flirting online is one thing, but meeting up with these guys you know nothing about is another.”
His mother bit the corner of her trembling lip and nodded.
Shit. He hated to see any woman cry, and watching his mother on the verge of doing so broke his heart. His relationship with his mother had always been strained, but he loved her in his own way. They were two very different people and they came together like oil and water. Ever since he was a kid, he’d butted heads with his mom, but he was attached at the hip to his dad. Theirs was a relationship of love, mutual respect, and admiration. His father loved him and his sister unconditionally, but he could never say that about his mother. No matter what their differences or recriminations, Animal didn’t want anything bad to happen to his mom.
“Just be smart, and if you go out with one of those assholes, tell someone about it so we know the who and the where.” While Animal talked, he saw his mom fidgeting with different items on the kitchen counter. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I know Jada feels the same way and, of course, Dad.”
Opening one of the cupboard doors, his mom nodded then took out several small spice bottles.
Animal cleared his throat. “I’m gonna visit with Dad for a few.”
An awkward silence stretched between them before he walked out of the kitchen and went into the family room. The chopping of vegetables resumed as Animal went over to the fireplace and stoked the logs. Turning back around, he looked at his father and his heart squeezed: his dad looked so frail and old with his head tilted back and his mouth cocked open.
Once the weather gets warmer, I’ll take him fishing. His father loved to fish for rainbow trout in the rivers around the county, and every spring and summer Animal made it a point to go fishing with him several times a month.
“Dad?” he said in a low voice. His father’s mouth closed and his head lolled from one side to the other. “Dad?” he said again.
His father’s eyes snapped open, and he blinked at the light and wiped the drool from his chin. He straightened up in the wheelchair and his bleary gaze stared at Animal.
“When did you get here?” he asked.
“A while ago.” Animal walked over and sat next to him. “You were snoozing.”
“Oh.” He shifted in the chair and looked over his shoulder. “Is your mom still home?”
“Yeah.” A huge smile filled up his dad’s face, and it hit Animal like a punch to his gut. “She’s making dinner.”
The smile grew bigger. “Then she’ll be staying home tonight.” His dad turned back and looked at Animal. “Are you and Lucy coming for chow?”
“No, Lucy’s got tutoring after school and then homework.”
“Have your mom pack you up a care package so the little one can eat something decent. Your mom’s a great cook … but you already know that.”
The warmth in his dad’s eyes when he spoke about Rena slayed Animal. He really couldn’t wrap his head around his dad being okay with his mom cheating on him, but then if his dad knew about it and encouraged it, was it really cheating? Animal raked his fingers through his hair in frustration.
“Are you and Mom good?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes darting to the kitchen. His mother was still at the counter preparing the stew, her back turned to them.
His dad laid his hand on Animal’s. “We’re great.”
“I mean, you’re good with her going out and meeting new …” his voice trailed off. It felt strange as fuck to say men, but isn’t that what they were? The truth was that his mom was hooking up with men to have sex. Fuck!
“I’m the one who suggested it. I’m not the man I used to be, and your mother is still young and has needs. It works for us.”
Animal searched his father’s face to see if there was any pain, but he found none. If Dad’s cool with this then it’s none of my business. “I just wanted to make sure.”
“Always looking out for your old man.” His father patted Animal’s hand. “You’re a good son, but you don’t have to worry about your mom and me
—we love each other, and I’m happy that she’s happy.”
“Okay then,” Animal whispered.
For the next couple of hours, the two men talked up a storm about everything and nothing, and when the clock hit 4:15 p.m., Animal couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown.
He stood and clasped his dad’s shoulder. “I gotta pick up Lucy at school.” His father nodded. “Poker night is at Ryder’s house this month. You should come.”
“Sounds like something I’d like to do. I haven’t seen Ryder in a while. He mentioned wanting to go fishing with us when the weather warms up.”
“Yeah, he said the same thing to me. We’ll make a day of it.”
“There’s nothing like fresh pan-fried rainbow trout. I can taste it already.” His dad chuckled. “You gonna bring Lucy over here on poker night?”
Animal fished out his car keys from the front pocket of his jeans. “No. Belle’s having the old ladies and the kids at her house. Savannah and Timmy will be going there too, so it’ll just be us guys at Ryder’s.”
“That’s good. Is Lucy adjusting better?”
“Seems to be. Making friends with Paisley has helped a lot, and now she’s spent a few times over at Chas and Addie’s place playing with Hope. It seems like those three—Paisley, Hope, and Lucy are getting real tight. I wish she had some friends from her school, though.”
“She will—it takes time. She’s gone through a lot in the last several months. It’s never easy for a kid when her mom walks out on her. We’ll all help her along the best we can.”
“Thanks, Dad. I better go. I don’t want Lucy thinking I forgot about her.”
“Throw another log on the fire before you go.”
Animal did as his dad had asked, then walked into the kitchen. “I’ve got to pick up Lucy,” he said to his mom.
