by Sara Fields
Nicole was my roommate. She was quiet most of the time, but she was definitely not a morning person. Her eyes were bloodshot as she tried to rub the sleepiness away, but it was no use. The only thing that fueled Nicole in the mornings was a steaming pot of coffee. The whole damn pot if it was early enough.
“How the hell are you even here? Weren’t you supposed to be in Greece for the next few weeks? Danny is supposed to come over tonight. You promised me some alone time with him.” She glared furiously.
“I... don’t know,” I answered.
“What do you mean you don’t know? How did you even get in the apartment last night?” she pressed.
I blinked.
My mind was blank. I literally had zero recollection of how I got here.
“Kassandra. What is wrong with you? Why the hell were you checking out your ass at this ungodly hour?”
I stared at her, narrowing my eyes in confusion.
“You didn’t see the bruises?” I asked.
“What? No. Your ass is just as lily white as it had always been. Firm and tight, just like a fucking supermodel. It’s perfect. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you that desperate for attention?”
I didn’t reply.
“What happened to you?” she asked again.
“I don’t remember...” I replied uselessly.
She shook her head and glared at me. I shrank back, not prepared to handle her ire just yet.
“Go back to sleep. When you’re not being an idiot and screaming at the top of your lungs at the ass crack of dawn, we’ll talk,” she scowled, before slamming my door so hard that the walls rattled.
I lifted my nightgown once more, staring at the red welted marks across my ass. She hadn’t seen them, but I could. Was I crazy? Was it all just a delusion?
I was so tired though. I didn’t want to think about what this meant anymore. I yawned and crawled back into bed, trying to escape whatever was happening to me.
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but I only tossed and turned every which way. My mind raced, trying to put together the pieces of how I’d gotten back to New York. There was no explanation that made any sense. A boat would have taken too long. A plane would have taken hours, and someone would have had to pick me up at the airport. A train or a car wasn’t possible. For God’s sake, a freaking ocean separated New York and Greece.
I finally fell into a fitful sleep, but all I dreamt about was Markos. His dark eyes. His commanding voice and the feeling of his thick cock as he mastered my body.
It had all felt so real.
It had to be a dream. It just had to be.
A few hours later, my cell phone alarm blared loudly next to my ear and I grabbed at it desperately. I shut it off as quickly as I could, my panicked heart pounding loud in my chest. I listened for sounds of Nicole but heard nothing. Finally, after enough time had passed, I sat back, breathed a sigh of relief, and tried to calm this frantic feeling inside me.
I tried to ignore the achy feeling of my body and climbed out of bed. My pussy was sore, but my ass stung more, reminding me of the way he’d bent me over his desk and spanked me like a naughty little girl. I whimpered when I thought about how he’d fucked my ass. My body shook with shame. I refused to look in the mirror I’d studied myself in before and kept my eyes on the floor as I tiptoed over to my adjoining bathroom. I reached into the shower and turned it on, before closing my eyes and leaning back against the tiled wall. I didn’t open them again until the room was full of hot steam.
The mirrors fogged up and I couldn’t see myself anymore. The respite was much needed.
Almost on autopilot, I climbed into the shower and began to wash myself. I scrubbed my body ferociously, trying to clean all evidence of Markos from my skin. His seed washed off rather easily, but the marks from his fingers on my hips, my thighs, and my ass wouldn’t rinse away.
Those were very real.
I began to cry. How could I make sense of all this?
Maybe he had his hands in government technology. Maybe he had access to modes of transportation none of us knew about. Maybe I was just insane.
Maybe I had done this to myself somehow. I shook my head, shivering at the thought. No. I wasn’t the type of girl that hurt myself though. I had never been.
I stood under the spray for a long time, the hard, ruthless spatter of the water against my skin comforting.
When the shower finally began to get cold, I forced myself to turn it off and climb out of the tub. I wrapped myself up in a soft, fluffy blue towel and went back into my bedroom. Automatically, I went over to my closet, losing myself in my morning routine. I slid open the door and stared at the clothes inside.
They were organized by color and sleeve length, but most everything in my closet was black, gray, and subtle blues. It wasn’t the most exciting wardrobe, but it comforted me all the same. It meant I was home. That I was safe.
I picked out a gray pantsuit and laid it on the bed. I quickly pulled a pair of panties from my dresser. I whimpered softly as I pulled them up and over my sore, punished flesh. Next, I hooked my bra on behind my back. Then, I pulled on my pants and a tank, before shrugging into the suit top. I was swaying the whole time. Lastly, I brushed my hair and tried to make my tired face look awake with a little makeup. It didn’t really help, but I kept telling myself it did.
Eventually, I gave up and left my room. Nicole was awake, but she didn’t say anything. She was probably still pissed that I’d woken her up this morning. She was drinking coffee and I went over and silently poured myself a cup out of the carafe.
Nicole and I were never really friends. We’d been paired together by Interpol and stationed here in New York City. The United States government knew of our existence and I often worked with them to assist matters of international crime. Antonio Vitale was one of those projects.
Markos Varela wasn’t. I’d done that all myself. Interpol hadn’t even known that I’d taken an interest in him. If they did, I would have probably been shipped off to some project in New Zealand or something.
I had learned his name at a big meeting between Interpol and the CIA. Ever since then, I’d kept every newspaper story, every picture, even just the briefest mention of his name in an online article about the wine industry. I’d felt pulled to him and the more I learned, the more I felt he was a very bad man.
I’d known that, and still I had continued my self-imposed mission.
I sat down at the table beside Nicole and kept my eyes low, but I could feel her watching me, judging me for my odd behavior. I took a sip of my coffee and coughed at the bitterness. Looking down at it, I realized I hadn’t even added cream. Shaking my head, I stood back up and walked to the fridge. I grabbed some vanilla creamer and poured it in, watching as the inky blackness swirled into a lighter color.
Nicole snorted behind me.
“So, feeling any better?” she began, her voice still as cold as ever.
She and I had always been at odds. Over the past few weeks it had been way worse because we were volleying for the same promotion. I swallowed heavily and shook my head.
“Must have been some crazy nightmare,” I eventually answered. Taking another swig of my coffee, I dutifully avoided her gaze.
I’d have to be careful. Nicole would literally do anything to discredit me in order to secure the promotion instead of me. She was always looking for weaknesses in me, always trying to point out inconsistencies in my work and for the most part, my superiors ignored her, but sometimes, they didn’t. She’d gotten me in trouble a handful of times and I had no doubt that she would jump at the chance to do it again.
“Well, do me a favor and let’s not wake up the entire apartment complex next time you have a bad dream,” she replied, still very much peeved at the whole thing. “And that still doesn’t explain how the hell you’re here. Care to fill me in, Kassandra?”
She spat my name and the animosity in her tone was unmistakable.
I was going to have to mak
e something up, just to get her off my back. I literally had no choice.
“My mission was cancelled. I hopped on a plane yesterday evening and slipped inside early this morning. I was as quiet as I could be, so I don’t think I woke you,” I lied. I avoided her eyes. She was well trained in interrogation skills.
She huffed, and I briefly glanced up at her before looking down at my coffee once more.
“I’m sorry about this morning. I don’t know what came over me,” I said, apologizing in hope that she wouldn’t hold it against me. Last thing I needed was her telling my bosses that I was insane, suffering from outlandish nightmares and unqualified for my position. I wouldn’t put it past her.
“Yeah. Whatever. Just try not to do it again. I’ve got a really long day of trailing some gangbanger with Lewis. God, that man is a bore,” she complained.
“Now that’s bad luck getting paired with him.” I chuckled uneasily, although entirely grateful for the subject change. We drank our coffee together then, talking over mundane things like who would go to the grocery store and which bills needed to be paid before it was time to get to work. Thankfully, she seemed to have dropped the whole nightmare episode.
Together, we took the elevator down to the ground floor and made our way to the subway. Our commute was thankfully short, and we arrived at the office building in less than fifteen minutes. Walking inside, we traveled up the elevator to the penthouse offices, where we worked and watched over the city of New York. She sauntered off quickly, but stopped when I ran into our boss, Lynn Graves.
“Kassandra, what the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be investigating Antonio Vitale?” Lynn demanded.
“I...” I started, seeing Nicole begin to grin off in the distance.
Shit. I needed to think fast.
“I didn’t find anything at the villa. Antonio got bored, so he sent me away. He doesn’t like doing business with a woman around, so I came back home,” I blurted. Lynn narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Crap.
“Huh. I seem to recall that you’re exactly his type,” she replied. “Come to my office later. File a report and we’ll talk about it.”
I nodded curtly, and she looked away, giving me leave to escape. Rushing off to my office, I shut the glass door behind me, leaned against it and sighed heavily with relief.
I shouldn’t have come here. I had made a mistake.
Slowly, I convinced myself to move away from the door and sit down at my desk. I powered on my computer and logged in, pulling up our database on international criminals. First, I checked the date. It was May nineteenth, just one day after Markos’ gathering. I hadn’t lost any time then. Next, I pulled up my own profile. There was a blurb that popped under my profile indicating that I was deep undercover and was expected to be for the next few weeks. Only somehow, I was back in New York. And I had no idea how I got there.
I was in deep shit. I had nothing to report to Lynn.
I’d been working my own angle on Markos. I hadn’t gathered anything on Antonio and I was going to have to pull something out of my ass just to please her and not get fired.
I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to my desk, groaning. Eventually, I pushed myself back up and reluctantly got back to work.
I pulled up the form in the system and began to fill in the easy parts. Names. Dates. Where I’d been and what I’d done, everything I could remember up to when Markos captured me. In an effort to come up with a plausible story, I made up quite a bit. I had attended a party at Markos Varela’s villa on Antonio’s arm. Markos had taken an interest in me and had me thrown out of his party when I rejected his advances. Antonio had backed him up and tossed me out on my ass.
I read it over and over, trying to memorize the story I’d mostly made up. Lynn would question me later and I couldn’t mess up the little details. I’d fuck myself over if it came to that.
My ears hummed for a moment, and I shook my head.
“I can’t wait to tie you to my bed and fuck that tight little ass again. I’m going to whip your disobedient backside and then, you’re going to beg me to taste your blood,” Markos growled.
I jumped up with a startled scream, pushing my chair backwards in the process. I looked around, trying to see where he was hiding but there was no one here. I was alone.
My blood raced, heated with fear.
Outside my office, through the glass wall, I could see other agents staring back at me.
Quickly, I sat back down and tried to act normal. If anyone asked, I’d just say I saw a spider or something. I stared at my keyboard, hiding my face behind the monitor as I flicked my eyes side to side.
He wasn’t here. I was safe. Why had it sounded like he had said that right next to my ear? Why had he sounded so close?
In an attempt at self-preservation, I focused on work as much as possible. I studied different reports on criminals or persons of interest for hours, until Lynn sent her assistant to fetch me. I logged off my computer then and followed him, trying to quell the anxious churning in my belly. Shoving my fingers in my pockets, I tried to appear normal and as though I wasn’t hearing strange voices in my head.
My ears whirred once more, feeling hollow and I pawed at them.
“I’m going to consume you, Kassandra. You’re going to be mine, forever.”
It was him again and I tried not to flinch. He wasn’t here. He couldn’t be. He was somewhere in Mykonos, on his villa tending to his vineyard. He wouldn’t waste his time on someone as meaningless as me.
I was at work. I had to focus and ignore whatever was happening to me. I was just tired, or jet-lagged or something. It had to be that simple.
“Kassandra. Listen, I read your report and some things just aren’t adding up,” Lynn said curtly, gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. I sat down and nervously picked at my nails. Her assistant closed the door, rushing out to give the two of us privacy. I swallowed apprehensively.
She questioned me for what felt like an hour. What I saw at the villa. Why Antonio had brought me to the party in the first place. Detail after detail she pulled from me until I began to feel exhausted and I was beginning to question my own story. The longer I was with her, the more her face looked suspicious. Eventually she gave up and shook her head.
“Listen, Kassandra. You’re not yourself. Go home. Take the rest of the day off and don’t come back tomorrow. I’m mandating that you take some vacation time and figure out some things before you return on Monday,” she said, and I knew better than to refuse.
I nodded. I must have looked dejected or something because her face drew tight with concern.
“It’s not a punishment. You’re just not yourself. You look strung out, to be honest and if I had the funds to pay for it, I’d send you to a spa for the weekend. Just go home, get some sleep, and come back fresh next week. I’ll put you to work on profiling someone else, without connections to Antonio. Whatever he did to you, you’re different. You’re one of my most valuable agents, Kassandra, and I want that woman back,” she added, much more gently than before. She looked really worried and it saddened me that I had disappointed her.
“Thanks, Lynn. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” I replied quietly, and it was true. She’d helped me rise in the agency and I wouldn’t have gotten to where I was now without her. Sure, she was a hard ass sometimes, but it was really for my own good. She pushed me and that’s what I needed.
She shooed me away and I left her office. I returned to mine and gathered my things, before leaving for the day. It was only two o’clock. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nicole watching me and I decided then that I was going to lock my door this evening and not come out. I didn’t want to deal with any more of her questions. At least not tonight.
But first, I needed a fucking drink.
In a rush, I hurried to the subway and then to the nearest bar only a few blocks from my apartment. Finley’s. It was a small Irish pub, but the bartenders there were good at making any drink you
wanted. The beer was good, but their cocktails were even better. And cheap.
My friend Donna was already there. It wasn’t even happy hour yet. She grinned when she saw me and winked, her expression salacious.
“I’m skipping class, but what’s your excuse? Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere in Europe on some secret world-saving mission?” she teased, her mouth tipping up in a playful grin.
I laughed. Donna was a good friend. She was a grad student at the nearby university and knew only very vague details about what I did for a living, which is all I could really share. She understood I worked in a highly classified position for the government and that I helped persecute dangerous criminals, but that was pretty much it.
I sat down next to her.
“Two shots of tequila. Chilled. With a lime, please,” I said.
“Damn, that kind of day, huh. What happened, you get fired?” Donna asked, her face quickly turning serious. “You know, if you did, I could always use another roommate. We could share my bedroom. There’s easily room for another twin bed in there.” She was sweet. I could always count on her to listen and I needed that from her today.
The bartender slammed two shots down in front of us and I grabbed both of them, downing one after the other before sucking hard on the slice of lime. The tequila burned going down, but I relished it because it felt normal. I needed something normal.
My vision wavered for a moment, waves of gray masking my sight before I saw his face. It was as though Markos was standing right in front of me, staring at me as though I was his possession.
“You were always meant to be mine. It’s your destiny, Warrior of Light.”
I stared up at him.
Was any of this real?
Beside me, Donna started shaking me. Markos disappeared, and the tall lanky redheaded bartender took his place.
“Kass, you okay? You were just like, ogling that bartender. You’re freaking him out. You’re not high or anything, right? I mean, those shots shouldn’t have hit you already,” she asked worriedly.
I shook my head, trying to shake the chilling feeling that Markos was watching my every move. Maybe I was losing my mind.
