by Anya Summers
“We really need to get you some proper boots. Those might look sexy as hell but they are far from practical for ranch life. What if you had to outrun a rattler? You want that extra protection from their bite. Trust me on this.”
“Rattlesnakes? Really?”
He nodded and replied, “You’re in the country. While I do try to keep my ranch from being infested with them, there’s a ton of open wilderness to contend with. I can’t guarantee you won’t run into the occasional wild animal out here. In fact, we need to have a conversation about the different predators in the area you need to be careful of coming across, along with some of the other wild animals you will want to steer clear of should you run into them.”
“I’ll look into getting some boots this week. You really think I will have to contend with a bear or mountain lion?”
“Good. Get really good ones, real leather, none of that suede crap. Don’t go for fancy but comfort and practicality. And out here, there’s no telling what you might come across. Thanks for lunch,” he said, giving her a deep but quick kiss as he fastened his jeans. Then he ushered her out of his office.
He watched her glide out of the barn. Yeah, he was sunk where she was concerned.
Chapter 15
Later that night, Jenna sat on the floor in her room with Liam. She’d eaten dinner early, since she’d skipped lunch. Or, rather, she’d had incredible pulse pounding sex with Carter instead of eating. She’d forgotten how hot it could be to have a Dom go all alpha on her. Her belly clenched at the memory.
She’d enjoyed every minute, even if she was a teeny bit sorer than she’d let on. All the sexual activity was helping her muscles regenerate, but it hadn’t negated the twinges of pain entirely yet. And she could use a hot Epsom salt bath to help her muscles.
Liam reclined in his brand new bouncy seat. Her little man was fascinated by the movements and vibrations. They’d received delivery of the order for Liam this afternoon. She was assembling his new stroller when Carter walked into her room without knocking. Proof positive that they had crossed a threshold in his office today.
He was fresh from the shower, his dark hair damp, the ends curling on his neck, and she bit back a purr. Jenna didn’t think she’d ever tire of looking at him, of the way he entered a room and every molecule in her being buzzed in response. The way his hazel eyes smoldered when he glanced at her. This afternoon, he’d been so fierce and dominant with her. She’d loved every minute of it.
But what did that mean for them? Jenna realized that she was the one who had changed their relationship this past week to include sex. Not that she was complaining about the bedroom activities, because at this point it would take being bound to his horse herd to drag her away. But it left her in a bit of a conundrum since they’d not discussed what their relationship was, precisely. Did he want more with her? Or was she just convenient?
Whenever she considered mentioning her concerns, her throat constricted and silenced her voice.
“Why didn’t you wait for me to help you with that?” Carter asked, nodding at the myriad pieces spread out over the rug and joining her on the floor.
She shrugged and said, “It’s not like I have other pressing things on my agenda. Liam’s fed, and happy as a clam in his new bouncy seat. Aren’t you, my love?”
Liam gave her a wide grin and oohhed.
“Still, let me do this for you,” Carter said, picking up the assembly instructions and flipping through the directions.
Giving the Philips head screwdriver another crank on the piece she was attaching, she replied, “Or I could just finish. I’m almost done, and pretty handy when it’s warranted.”
Carter’s glance slid her way, a dark slash of his brow raised. “I’m not saying you’re not capable, you are more than that when you put your mind to something. But I want to help you.”
“Fine. Have it. I’m just going a little stir crazy here,” Jenna admitted and handed over the screwdriver, relinquishing control.
“Why?” he asked, taking over, his hands moving confidently as he added the last few parts to the stroller.
“Because I’m used to doing things, working non-stop. If you remember at all, on the island, I worked quite a bit. And yes, Liam takes up a fair portion of my day, but I don’t really have anything else to do. Dottie will only allow me to help her out so much before she shoos me away. I’m a doer, Carter. Always have been, so the inactivity is driving me out of my ever-loving mind.”
“Okay. Clearly you have something in mind,” he said, standing the stroller up on its wheels and testing it.
“I need to go back to work. Nothing full time yet, but Lucy’s Grocery Store is willing to work with me, since I have a newborn. Perhaps a day or two a week,” she said, realizing that she would have to figure out babysitting for Liam.
“But you don’t have to work. I’ve got you and Liam covered,” Carter said with a shake of his head.
“I don’t want you to support me, Carter. All my life I’ve worked and earned my keep. I won’t stop now just because I have a child and we’re sleeping with each other.”
When Carter opened his mouth to reply, she continued, “I appreciate the fact that you want Liam taken care of financially and are willing to do so much for him—and for me. But it’s a pride thing; I can’t live off you and I won’t. I need to be able to pull my own weight around here and contribute. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Not to mention, it will keep me from going stir crazy out here in the boonies.”
Carter did a final adjustment on the stroller and then turned his gaze back to her. “Fair enough. But what if I could offer you something better?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“The ranch hasn’t had a bookkeeper in going on two years now. I just assumed the responsibility but with the weather we’ve been having lately, I’ve barely been able to tackle the books, let alone take care of more than making sure things are paid. It’s why I didn’t come to the house for lunch today.” Carter gave her a wicked half grin.
“You would trust me with the bookkeeping for the ranch?” she asked, stunned.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re smart. I can vouch for your work ethic because I’ve witnessed it firsthand. It’s what you’re in school for and there’s no better teacher than real life experience. This way, when you do graduate with your degree, if you decide to start your own firm in Jackson, you’ll already have one solid account,” Carter said.
“And you would pay me?”
He shook his head. “The ranch would. You’d be an employee of the Double J and paid from those accounts. Just the same as Herb’s, Kyle’s, and Dottie’s salaries. It’s something you could start part-time while Liam’s young and work around his schedule. We could give it a trial run for a month. If it doesn’t work out, no harm, no foul.”
“Let me think about it and get back to you,” Jenna said, chewing her bottom lip. While it sounded good, she was worried about becoming more entangled within Carter’s world. He was weaving her and Liam into the fabric of daily life here. And she worried about what that meant for her—for them.
“Where’s the rest of the delivery, by the way? Did they only bring part of it?” Carter asked, surveying the stash.
“This is the stuff I ordered.”
“But doesn’t Liam need more than this? Jenna, I told you to get whatever he needed,” Carter replied, exasperation seeping into his voice.
Rolling her eyes at him, she stated, “And I did. He doesn’t need much. He’s a baby, and one who will grow quickly. He’s already not fitting into his newborn clothes anymore. It’s wasteful, in my book. He has enough. Besides, aren’t your friends throwing a shower for us tomorrow? He’ll likely get some more clothing there and will be fine.”
“Dammit, Jenna. On Sunday, we’re going into town and I’m taking you shopping.” Carter glowered in her direction.
She glared back and dug her heels in. “No. I’m not going to have you pay for everything. If I start working, I can
manage, and pay for some of his things too.”
Carter scowled, his arms crossed over his chest. “This is non-negotiable. Stop being so damn stubborn on this point. We have to pick out furniture for his nursery, anyhow. And we will get what he needs. You say he’s growing quickly, well, then we need to plan ahead for the winter months and start to stock pile.”
“I’m not the only one being mule-headed on this, Carter. Why do we have to plan ahead? Winter is months away yet,” she said, not understanding why he was being so persistent—other than the fact that he was a Dom and wanted to get his way.
“Because when it snows here, the roads can become impassable. Oftentimes for days if we have blizzard conditions. What that means is you have to adopt a wholly different approach. It’s one of the reasons we have a storage room in the basement with two industrial sized deep freezes. Dottie helps make sure we are stocked on meat, frozen fruits and vegetables. We overstock on pantry items and things like paper towels and toilet paper. I’m not being overbearing but trying to help you prepare. Life in Wyoming is a far different beast from what you are familiar with.”
“Days? Stuck for days at a time?”
Carter shrugged as if it were no big deal. “That’s life here in Wyoming, Jenna. I realize you’re from Florida and this will be your first winter here, so think of it this way: imagine having to be prepared for a hurricane that lasted months, that could strand you without access to the outside world for a solid week, and make sure you are equipped for the worst case scenario. Especially with Liam, you will want stores of extra diapers and wipes for him. By then he might be on baby food and we would want to have the pantry stocked.”
“I see your point,” Jenna commented, the wheels turning in her mind. She did better with lists. If they really would be stranded, Carter was right. She’d have to consider what she would need for Liam during the winter months and have the foresight to ensure that he had what he needed.
Except it also meant that living here, with Carter, was becoming permanent. Skitters of fear raced along her spine. It was a level of commitment she wasn’t entirely comfortable with.
She grimaced. It was a whole new way of being, of existing. But that’s what she and Meghan had wanted when they’d moved here last month. A fresh start, and a new life away from pain, loss, and the reminders of their father’s crippling disease. She wanted Liam to know Carter and had accomplished that feat, at least.
“Are you not happy here?” Carter asked, his expression unreadable as he studied her.
“I’m not unhappy,” she replied.
“But?”
“Everything’s just so new. I don’t feel like I’ve found my footing yet. And it doesn’t help that Liam’s not sleeping through the night. So, it could simply be exhaustion on my part. Not to mention, my hormones are still all over the place and haven’t returned to pre-pregnancy levels. It’s perfectly normal, but it does make me question my reaction to things. Sorry, I know that’s not really an answer. Do I think Liam and I could be happy here? Yes. I just need more time.”
“We have all the time in the world. There’s no rush, on anything,” Carter murmured and turned away, but not before she caught the flash of disappointment in his eyes.
Was she screwing things up between them? Probably. Not that she knew what their relationship actually was to begin with. It was like she had a knack for destroying anything good that came into her life. Maybe she shouldn’t have been honest with him but she knew that would be short-changing both of them. It was ingrained in her to be honest to her Dom. And regardless of whether they were permanent or temporary, she owed him her honesty and wouldn’t start lying to him now to spare his feelings.
That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to be kinder and less abrupt. She said, “I’m sorry. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”
Carter looked at her. “Jenna, why are you still acting like you’re going to pick up and move at any moment? You’re not. This is where you belong. You and Liam are staying here and that’s final.”
“So you just automatically get to decide my life for me? What if I don’t want to stay here? You don’t get to decide what’s best for my life. You have no right.”
He yanked her close and snarled, his visage stern as he scowled. “I have the only right. You’re my sub, dammit. You have been since I set foot on the island last year, and nothing has changed that fact.”
“Don’t pull that Dom bullshit with me,” she retorted, standing her ground while her body all but purred at his dominant claiming.
“Or you’ll what? You seem to forget who’s in charge,” he snarled, his voice low and fierce.
“Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t belong to you. If I want to move to Timbuktu, I can and I will. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Stop being an asshole and trying to control the universe,” she said defiantly, her fists clenched against his chest, trying to push him away. It was a bit like a butterfly trying to move a mountain with the force of wind its wings generated, but Jenna was incensed at his attitude.
“That does it,” he snapped. Carter shifted her body and drew her across his lap. Too late she realized his intentions when he gripped the waistband of her yoga pants and panties and yanked them down to her knees. Then he positioned his forearm across her lower back.
“Carter, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” She tried to buck him off, but the man was more solid than granite.
“Doing something that I should have done the day the island was evacuated when you refused to come with me, and then again when I found you in Jackson,” Carter snarled. His large palm connected forcefully with her rear and she yelped.
“You are my sub, Jenna. You know this deep down, yet you are refusing to admit it for some reason that escapes me.” His hand cracked against her behind and moisture entered her vision at the brutal slice of pain.
“Your place is at my side, in my bed, and caring for our son.” His hand whacked her bum with three forceful swats. Jenna bit her lip as pain radiated from her bottom. The sasquatch had crossed her last nerve.
“And what if I don’t want that? Don’t want you?” she cried through big, fat, angry tears.
“You’re lying through your teeth. You want me. Why you’re fighting it is what we are going to get to the bottom of,” he stated, his hand cracked repeatedly against her butt. The sting caused fireballs of need to explode in her body. Instead of calming her, it had the opposite effect.
She snapped. “I don’t want you, Sasquatch. Stop manhandling me or I’ll—”
“Sasquatch? Appropriate, but you can cut the attitude. And as for not wanting me?” He dragged two of his fingers through her crease. Jenna moaned as he grazed her clit. Then he held his fingers in front of her face. They were coated with moisture.
“See this, darlin? That’s your body telling me it loves my touch. Stop lying or you won’t sit pretty for a week,” he threatened, and peppered her behind. Her rear burned. Her cheeks were flaming. “Why are you denying it? Just tell me, Jenna, and your punishment will be over,” he promised.
She dropped her face into her hands, wanting to hide as her tears began in earnest.
“You don’t understand.” She sobbed brokenly, feeling like delicate glass that would shatter into a billion pieces at the slightest touch.
Carter stilled his hand, massaging the fiery globes of her rear. “What don’t I understand?” he asked quietly.
“What happens to me when it all goes away?” she said.
He shifted her in his arms until she was facing him. “I’m not going anywhere. When I say I’m all in, I mean it.”
Her vision infused with her tears, she said, “You mean it now. People always mean it at the moment, but then forget that they said it.”
Carter cupped her face in his hand, his gaze probing. “Where is this coming from? I’ve never once not come through for you. You can trust me, Jenna. I’m here, and I’m in this for the long haul. Question is, why do you think I’ll
desert you?”
“All my life I’ve had people I trusted tell me they would be there, that I could count on them, and that’s never been the case. My mom said she’d always be there and committed suicide a week later. I was eight. Meghan was only two at the time. And my dad, he just fell apart. By the time I was thirteen, I ran our household. My dad taught history at the local high school, but the income wasn’t nearly enough to raise two girls on his own. So I found odd jobs, babysat, mowed lawns and the like, until I was sixteen. Then I worked part time after school, raised Meghan, cooked, cleaned, and did pretty much everything. When Dad got sick, I left college in my sophomore year to care for him. I don’t know how to be anything other than what I am. I’ve never been able to count on anyone. Not really.”
“Jenna, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I have never been anything but here for you. But you’ll have to take a leap of faith and decide that you either trust me or you don’t.”
“I do trust you, but—”
“No buts, darlin’. I regret not hauling your ass onto the plane during the hurricane evac last year. But I can’t change that fact. It’s done. All I can do is show you that this is where you belong; with me, in my home and in my bed.”
“I want you. I always have, and I’m trying. Please believe me,” she said.
Carter swiped at her tears with his thumbs, his eyes boring into hers before he lowered his mouth and slanted his lips over hers. She moaned as he held her prisoner in his arms and ravished her mouth with his carnal, dominant kiss. It wasn’t gentle. The kiss was hard and brutal. The kiss laid siege to the very fabric of her being.
Passion blasted between them. They’d always been volatile together. Carter swept his tongue inside her mouth, thrusting into the recesses and dragging her further into the quagmire of their explosive desire. Jenna placed her palms against his chest to try and put distance between them, to give herself a chance to think about everything he’d said. Except the moment she touched him, her hands went up in flames and curled into him. She dug her fingers in, gripped his shirt, and pulled him closer.
