“Was she pretty?” Maggie’s voice was soft as she said this.
Henry couldn’t have imagined talking about Amelia with anyone. It awakened far too much pain to do so. But with Maggie… it somehow felt easy. Almost painless. “Very,” he said. “She was the talk of the town when she was single. There wasn’t a gentleman living who didn’t want her.”
Maggie was silent for a few moments, which was unexpected given that her questions had been so readily available. He looked down at her, to find her staring at his chest. “Maggie?” He said. “Are you alright?”
She slid a look up at him, from beneath her lashes. “I’m fine,” she answered. “Go on. Tell me about her character.”
Henry expelled a breath as he thought. “Before she left, I would have told you that she was an adventurous and care-free woman.”
“And now?”
“Now,” he said, slowly. “Now, I think that she was very cunning. Talented in her own way, and exceptionally clever. I don’t think I was a naïve man, but she had me so wholly fooled by her.”
“In what sense?”
“I was absolutely besotted. For such a long time, she was this inaccessible symbol of perfection. So when she chose me, of all the men who wanted her, the feeling was like never I’d ever experienced before. And the pride… it kept me from seeing the truth for a long time.”
“And what was the truth?”
He paused before answering, then said, “That she was meeting with another man. I had every reason to suspect of course, but I decided to ignore the signs. I was too enamored by the idea of her to ever consider that she might be deceiving me.
“And then…”
“Then she left. I woke up one morning, and she was gone.”
“God…” Maggie whispered. Henry could feel her shaking her head. Her fingers curled against his chest, forming a small fist. “I’m so sorry, Henry.”
I’m so sorry.
He’d heard that a thousand times, from people who didn’t really care, but said it out of politeness. He’d even heard it from people who did care. From Jeremy and Rachel. But every time he’d heard it, he’d wanted to plug his ears and scream. Because he didn’t want to hear it. It made him feel pitiful. It trampled what little was left of his dignity and made him feel small.
But when Maggie said it, he didn’t feel like that.
For the first time, when he heard those words, his eyes started to fill with tears.
“You didn’t deserve that.” He closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay as she said that. “And she didn’t deserve you.”
His throat made a croaked and broken sound of its own accord. “Oh, Henry,” he heard her whisper, and then he felt her palm against his cheek. She pulled his face towards hers and kissed the edge of his lips. “Let’s not speak of it anymore,” she whispered against his cheek. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“Don’t be,” he replied, in a wobbly voice. “I want you to know the truth. All of it.” He’d never felt like that before, with anyone. There were people he’d tried to protect from the truth. Truths he’d hidden to protect himself. But he’d never known a person who made him want to lay it all bare the way she did, now, in this moment.
He turned his face and opened his eyes so that he could look into hers. They were glistening on his behalf, but she was smiling softly. “Kiss me again,” she whispered.
Henry blinked away the last of the wetness on his lashes, without a single tear rolling free. He felt unable to deny her. Her command drew his body in like a moth to the flame, until he felt the soft give of her lips beneath his. She moaned gently against his mouth, and he felt the sound vibrate through his bones.
He didn’t allow things to escalate again, and neither did she. Instead, they lay in bed together until the early hours of the morning, just talking and kissing from time to time. They talked about everything and sometimes nothing at all. The important things, and the meaningless things like his favorite food, and her favorite wild flower.
They shared strange, unimaginable moments where they laughed together. Truly laughed, like when she told him about the picture Alicia had drawn of him, and how many teeth she’d given him.
The one thing they didn’t talk about was Jeremy. The matter remained delicate, and he didn’t want to risk hearing her say that she was still thinking of marrying him.
For now, this time was theirs. Only theirs.
“So what did you do with the drawing?” Henry asked, still smiling. “I’d like to see it.”
Maggie’s cheeks brightened and turned pink. Having spent so long looking at her, his eyes had become well-adjusted to the darkness and he could see every feature of her face. He was glad of that. He didn’t want to miss a single thing.
“You’re blushing,” he noted, gently gliding his knuckles down her cheek, to feel the warmth of her skin.
“I kept it,” she admitted. He could see her gnawing at her lip. “I was rather fond of it.”
His brow quirked and his smile spread into a wide grin. “You kept it?”
She smacked his chest again. “Don’t tease. I keep many of her drawings.”
“Did you keep it because it was her drawing, or because it was a drawing of me?”
In answer, her blush deepened.
Henry laughed. “Strange that all this time I thought you hated me.”
“Perhaps I did,” she replied, though there was mirth in her voice. “You can be a rather surly beast.”
“You know how to rile me up,” he retorted.
“Then it’s my doing?”
Henry cupped her face and kissed her in reply. It silenced the both of them and lasted for several moments. The movement of her mouth under his made him feel like he’d go insane if he didn’t touch her, but he didn’t want to risk scaring her off.
When their kiss came to an end, their eyes locked, and he was smiling with utter satisfaction. “You can’t just kiss me whenever you don’t like my questions,” she said, but her voice was light, and her eyelids were heavy with longing. Her fingers flexed in the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling the soft hairs there.
“I kissed you because I couldn’t stand not to,” Henry corrected her, with his eyes still fixed on her lips.
“Then don’t stop,” she breathed.
They kissed until they were too exhausted and too tortured by desire to continue. With her body flush against his and his arms wrapped around her, they fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.
Chapter 24
Miss Magdalene Riley, Daughter of the Baron of Brambleheath
When Maggie woke up, she felt very warm. She was used to waking up with a bit of a chill. Her bedroom was airy and she liked to sleep with the windows open. But though she could feel the breeze coming in through the windows, gliding past her cheek, she didn’t feel cold. She felt like she’d fallen asleep beside a fire.
She blinked her eyes open lazily and saw her hand. As her eyes refocused and the grogginess began to lift, she realized that her hand was resting against bare skin. And it wasn’t her own. A wrinkle emerged between her brows. Just as she was about to bolt upright, Henry took a deep breath, which caused his chest to rise beneath her hand.
Maggie looked up at his face. He looked so much younger when he was sleeping. So much happier. All the sharp, hard lines of his face were softened and his lips were parted ever so slightly.
She found herself starting to smile as she remembered the night before. It had been reckless. She knew that, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Her eyes drifted towards the window, where she saw the sun rising over the grounds.
It was dawn.
When Maggie realized this, she gasped out a breath and sat upright. She scrambled out of the bed just as Henry started to wake up. “Where are you going?” He murmured, groggily.
“I can’t be here,” she whispered, urgently. “If someone finds out-”
Henry smiled and reached for her hand, tugging her back towards him. “You
don’t have to worry about that.”
“It’s not about being reprimanded, Henry. It’s about reputation,” she replied, but she didn’t pull her hand free of his. She bent over him and kissed him quickly on the lips. “I’ll see you later,” she promised him.
“But Maggie-” He was starting to sit up, with the clear intention of convincing her to stay, but she was already slipping quietly out the door.
Maggie stepped extremely carefully, conscious of every creak of floorboard beneath her feet. If she could just get back to her bedroom without being seen, no one would know that she’d spent the night with the master.
God forbid that Joseph should find out.
God forbid that Alicia should find out. As if the child wasn’t confused enough. And if anyone else found out, no one would ever look at her in the same way again. They were hardly going to believe that all they’d done was kiss.
When she saw her bedroom door, she started to speed up. She was eager to cross the border into safety, but the brisk motion caused a floorboard to creak loudly. She froze and winced. She stayed perfectly still for several moments, listening out for any movement.
When she was satisfied that no one was coming, she expelled a shaky breath and started walking again. “Good morning, Miss Riley.”
The voice almost made her jump out of her skin. She whipped around to see Alfred stood in the hallway. He was frowning, but he didn’t ask her why she was in the hallway in her nightgown. “Pardon me,” he said, when he saw that she wasn’t appropriately dressed. He looked away politely.
“I-” She was trying to think of an excuse, but nothing was coming to mind. “I was just-”
“I’ll see you at breakfast,” he interjected. Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked away.
She didn’t think he’d seen her coming out of Henry’s room, but she couldn’t be certain. “Damn it, Maggie,” she whispered to herself. She made it the last few steps to her bedroom and slipped inside.
She considered going back to bed. After all, Alicia wouldn’t be awake for another hour or so and every other soul, beside Alfred, was still asleep. But after the night she’d had, she felt too giddy to sleep. In a way, she felt like she was still lost in a dream.
So Maggie didn’t go back to bed. She dressed, trying not to think about what it would be like to see Henry outside of his bedroom, after they’d shared something so private and intense.
She tried even harder not to think about whether she’d made a terrible decision or not. Or her brother’s warning. Or what this could mean for her.
She’d acted on feeling. She’d cast logic aside, which was unlike her, and followed that gut feeling dragging her towards Henry Rivers.
Before stepping out into the hallway again, Maggie took a deep breath. She felt like she was facing a new world, and she wasn’t sure what it had in store for her.
***
Lord Henry Rivers, the Earl of Radingley
Henry laid in bed for a long time following her departure. He felt this tight, excited sensation in his stomach, which he knew he had to get control of before he tried to face the day. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. He wasn’t sure exactly what the feeling was, but he knew it felt good.
He supposed it was passion. Passion had a way of waking a man up, showing him everything he was missing out on in life. Like being physically intimate with a woman who had fire in her. A woman who made him feel like himself again, for the first time in over a year.
Henry got out of bed and dressed. He was especially concerned with the way he looked that morning, because he wanted to ensure that when Maggie saw him, she felt something. He wanted her to think of last night and the way he’d kissed her. He wanted her to dream of kissing him again.
When he was satisfied, he stepped out into the hallway and bumped right into Alfred.
“Alfred,” he said, blinking in surprise. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, my Lord.”
“Did you have a message for me?”
Alfred shifted with obvious discomfort and didn’t answer, which made Henry frown and tilt his head to the side. “Is everything alright?”
“My Lord, you and I have known one another a long time.”
“Of course, Alfred,” Henry replied, with a confused smile. “You’re practically family.” Indeed, Alfred had been around since Henry was just a boy. When his father had been unkind to him, Alfred had always been there to console him.
It was hard to think of him as household staff when their relationship had been so fond.
“And if I thought something needed to be addressed… you’d want me to address it with you, my Lord?”
“As we’ve discussed,” Henry confirmed. “If you consider a matter to be of importance, then I feel assured that it must be.”
Alfred nodded, though he still looked uncertain.
“What is it, Alfred?”
“My Lord, I know that it is none of my business, but I saw Miss Riley coming out of your bedroom this morning.”
Henry quirked a brow. “You’ve seen many women leave my bedroom in the early hours of the morning, Alfred,” Henry reminded him. “Why does this one give you concern?”
“I think that Miss Riley is a different breed of woman, my Lord. From what you have become accustomed to over the past year.”
Had anyone else said that to him, he might have taken insult. But Alfred was not the sort of man who spoke unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. Henry admired him. He trusted him. “What are you getting at, Alfred?”
“I don’t think Miss Riley is like those other women. I think you and Lady Alicia could benefit from keeping her around.”
“And you think that I am jeopardizing that,” Henry concluded, as understanding finally dawned on him.
Alfred didn’t say anything, which was answer enough. Henry smiled and clapped Alfred on the back gently. “I appreciate your words of wisdom, Alfred. But I assure you, I won’t be jeopardizing her position here. And neither will she.”
Alfred did not look consoled, but he wasn’t afforded the opportunity to say anything more. Henry walked down the hall, with a new perk in his step. Alfred’s warning wasn’t nearly enough to squash his good mood. And he refused to think of what fate had in store for Maggie and him.
He wanted to live in the moment. This moment, without needing to wonder if he’d lose his governess, or be expected to propose, or any of that nonsense. He didn’t want to think about whether his behavior was gentlemanly. For once, he just wanted to live, and he thought that she wanted the same thing.
Henry went downstairs, to find that Rachel had started breakfast. “Good morning, sister,” he said, smiling as he took his seat. He rubbed his hands together. He had an appetite and started spreading butter onto a piece of toasted bread.
After a few moments, looked up to find Rachel frowning at him. “You’re in a good mood.”
“Don’t look so surprised.” He took a bite of his toast and leaned back in his seat. Rachel continued to watch him, then started to smile.
“Well? Are you going to tell me why you’re in such a good mood?”
Henry shrugged. “I slept well.” Actually, he hadn’t slept much at all. He and Maggie had been talking and kissing until the early hours of the morning.
“I heard you shouting yesterday. I was expecting you to be in a poor mood.”
Henry’s eating slowed, and he glanced up at his sister again. She’d always been intuitive, so he had to wonder how much she knew. He waited for her to go on, as she surely would.
Just as she expected, she smiled musingly. “I heard that Jeremy came yesterday, before the chaos.”
“Don’t exaggerate,” Henry said.
Rachel laughed, but without meanness. Despite the subject of their conversation being his anger the day before, their tones were light and bereft of confrontation. “I saw poor Jeremy in the hallway just before he left.”
Henry grimaced. “And what did he tell you?”
“Nothing. He’s a good friend.”
He was. Which made Henry feel a sudden onslaught of remorse for being so angry with him the day before. It was hard to admit, even to himself, that it had all been driven by jealousy. What a fool he was.
“It was about Miss Riley, wasn’t it?”
“Not everything is about Miss Riley.”
Rachel quirked her brow in disbelief. “This is. I’ve heard rumors that Jeremy has been taking Miss Riley for long walks in the gardens.”
The Sinful Secret 0f A Broken Earl (Historical Regency Romance) Page 18
