Did this sleeping arrangement affect him at all? Did he have any emotions other than sexual desire? Because she had so many she couldn’t even categorize them.
A sob escaped her before she could stop it. Tara lifted her hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. Tears slipped out one by one, dropping onto her hand. She needed to compose herself, to gather her thoughts, to pray for the willpower to face that bed and Sam.
The door opened then shut. Strong arms enveloped her. She found herself resting against Sam’s strong, bare chest. She didn’t fight the comfort. If he wanted to console her, she was going to let him because right now she needed someone, and honestly, this man knew her better than anyone.
With his arms crossed over her chest, Sam rested his cheek against the top of her head. Tara risked opening her eyes and glancing at the reflection in the mirror. She thought for sure she would meet his gaze, but his eyes were shut as he held her, with worry lines etched across his forehead and between his brows.
Maybe he was more affected by all of this than she’d originally thought.
Tara reached up and rested her hands on his forearms. Maybe, for this moment, they needed to console each other instead of fighting the emotions they were both concealing.
“I don’t want you to worry about me,” Tara whispered.
“I’ve never stopped.” Sam’s hold tightened as he murmured against her ear. “You’re my world.”
Oh, those words. Tara wanted to crawl inside some fantasy world and hold tight. Forgetting all of this nightmare, rewinding to two years ago would be ideal. But she’d never run from anything in her life. She’d always faced tragedy head-on, from starting the support group with her friends in order to deal with grief of her past to pushing Sam away when he’d needed more help.
But she’d been strong for so long. Seeking comfort right now wouldn’t hurt anything...would it?
Sam kissed her head and Tara closed her eyes. “Don’t be nice right now. In fact, we’d both be better off if you left me alone.”
“You’ve been alone too long, Tara.”
He smoothed the hair from the side of her face and rested his cheek against hers. Now he did meet her reflection in the mirror and she couldn’t look away. There was raw desire mixed with compassion on his face as he stared at her. He hadn’t looked at her in such a way in...too damn long.
Tara felt her grip on the situation slip. Was she even trying to hold on at this point?
She glanced at the closed door. What if, for just this moment, she left everything, her worries and fears, on the other side of that door? What if she took comfort from her husband? She was human and she wanted to feel something other than vulnerable. She wanted to feel in control of something, damn it.
“Sam.”
She shifted to turn in his arms. Her butt hit the edge of the vanity and his arms came down, caging her against him. That bare chest was but a breath away.
For a brief moment, she hesitated, but Tara was done denying herself, denying them. Her fingertips slid up his abs; the muscles beneath her touch tightened as he sucked in a breath. She glanced from her hands to his eyes, instantly seeing the fire he fought. The clenched jaw and thin lips were a testament to his self-control—and she was about to shatter it.
“Don’t hold back,” she murmured, her hands trailing over his shoulders.
Sam shook his head. “As much as I want this, I don’t think—”
“Good. Don’t think.” Tara threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled his lips toward hers. “And don’t give me time to think, either.”
Chapter Thirteen
She covered his mouth with hers, and that’s when something exploded inside him. He really should be putting up more of a fight, but he was done resisting both his needs and hers. Besides, Tara clearly knew what she wanted and thankfully she’d chosen him—at least for now.
And now was all he was going to focus on.
Sam’s hands flew over her, ridding her of her cover-up and peeling off that one-piece suit. He took a moment to simply stare. Because no matter how much of a hurry he was in, he wanted to take a minute to admire the hell out of his sexy wife.
Her fingers curled inside the waistband of his shorts, and with gentle movements she eased them over his hips until they fell. He kicked the unwanted garment aside as he fisted his hands in her hair and aligned his body against hers.
Joint moans filled the small space. Sam would almost have been content to continue kissing her and feeling her bare body pressed to his...almost.
Her arms circled his neck, and he lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the countertop. He rested his forehead against hers.
“Be sure,” he commanded. “There’s no regrets after this.”
Her eyes met his as she tipped her head back. “No regrets, Sam. But no promises, either.”
He hesitated, not wanting to cheapen what they were sharing now. What was the proper term for a one-night stand with his wife?
Her fingertips slid over the tattoo of the door. She deserved to know what that was, deserved to know the meaning. He was honestly shocked she hadn’t figured it out. He’d chosen that particular spot so he’d see it each day he looked in the mirror. He needed that visual reminder.
Her eyes met his and he knew she wanted to ask about his new art, but now wasn’t the time.
Sam gripped behind her knees and jerked them up over the outside of his thighs. She might not want promises, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t silently make them.
Without a word, Sam stepped close. His hands eased down the slopes of her slender shoulders and over the mounds of her breasts. She arched against his touch. He knew exactly where to touch her, exactly how to hold her to give her the ultimate pleasure. Their encounter the other night had only been a sampling.
Tara locked her ankles behind Sam and urged him forward. As much as he wanted to take his time, he hadn’t been with her for over a year. His patience vanished.
He joined their bodies without hesitation and gripped her hips as she bowed back. He leaned over her, dropping kisses along her exposed neck. Her hips pumped against his and Sam had to flatten his palms on either side of her hips to hold his stability.
But damn he needed to touch her all over. He snaked one arm around her waist and brought her flush with his chest once more. Still completely joined, he lifted her off the counter and spun her around until her back was against the wall.
“Perfect,” he muttered as he nuzzled the side of her neck where he knew she was sensitive.
He palmed her backside as her body started to quicken once more. She whispered his name over and over. He didn’t know if he wanted to kiss her again or continue listening to his name coming out in pants. He took hold of her hands and laced their fingers together, holding them up on either side of her head.
Her knees tightened against him as her body trembled. Sam eased back, wanting to catch every single emotion as it overcame her, but his own pleasure consumed him so he covered her mouth.
Tara’s short nails bit into his shoulders. He nipped at her lips as her body started slowing. Sam’s trembling ceased, his breath coming in and out in a heavy rhythm that matched hers.
“I feel like I should say something here.”
Sam smiled and let their arms fall as he rested his forehead in the crook of her neck. “You can compliment me on my mad skills or ask me to take you into the bedroom for a repeat. Either would work.”
Thankfully, she laughed and smacked his shoulder. “Calm down there, stud. I think we both need a breather.”
As much as he didn’t want to let her go, she was right. That encounter had been so intense, and after all they’d been through, cuddling right now might not be the best idea.
Tara’s legs untangled from his waist as he eased her to the floor. He smoothed a stray strand of hair that clung to her cheek.<
br />
“So, what now?” she asked, moving around him to grab her nightgown off the floor.
Sam watched as the horrendous gown slid over her head and covered her lush body. As much as he’d hated that damn thing during their marriage, he couldn’t suppress the smile now. He’d never suspected he would miss a hippo nightshirt.
“Eyes up here and not on my hippo.” Tara crossed her arms over her chest. “I figured this thing was the perfect deterrent.”
“Yeah, well, you thought wrong.” He closed the distance between them and settled his hands on her hips. “But I’d never do anything you don’t want or didn’t ask for.”
Her eyes flared wider as she inhaled sharply. As inviting as her aroused, shocked reaction was, he also knew when to back off.
Sam released her and headed to the bedroom. He grabbed another pair of boxer briefs from his bag and pulled them on as Tara stepped into the room.
“We’re both sleeping in here.” He left no room for argument or questions. “Which side do you want?”
Tara flicked off the bathroom light and rounded the bed. “Over here near the patio doors. I want to see that sunrise first thing.”
He couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do than catch a sunrise with her, but he kept the thought to himself. He pulled off the comforter and climbed between the crisp sheets. This entire moment was both surreal and awkward. He wanted to stay right here where everything seemed somewhat normal, but he also couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
Sam reached over and clicked the light off, resting with his hands laced behind his head. Silence settled between them, the tension so thick he wasn’t sure what to say at that point. After what had just happened between them, he knew they’d crossed a line they couldn’t turn back from. Oh, she might have given the speech about this being “just for now” and “can’t make promises,” but that wasn’t Tara. She wasn’t a quickie type of girl. She had feelings; she had passion and love.
“Your silence is unnerving,” she murmured into the dark.
“Do you want to discuss what happened in the bathroom? Because we’re both replaying it in our heads.”
Tara shifted and a moment later her head came to the crook of his arm. Stunned, Sam hesitated before he wrapped his arm around her. A warm, wet tear tickled his bare skin.
“Tara—”
“Just give me tonight. I’ll be strong again tomorrow.”
Her words gutted him and he tightened his hold as he turned his body into hers. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. We need to lean on each other.”
“I can’t afford to,” she whispered.
Who was she trying to protect? Marley? Herself? Him? Was she playing the martyr because she felt there was no other choice?
Sam refused to let her feel empty and alone ever again. He was back and back for good. He’d already gotten on his feet, was making decent money with a job he was proud of, and the next step was getting his family back.
Forever.
* * *
Something heavy landed on her. No, make that something heavy and wet.
Tara lifted one eye and peered over her shoulder. Daisy had wedged her way between Sam and her and was currently dripping slobber on Tara’s shoulder.
“Daisy,” Tara cried. “Off the bed.”
Sam jumped up and raked a hand over his eyes and through his hair. “Come on, Daisy. Let’s go outside.”
So much for a beautiful sunrise that morning. She’d slept through it and had been awakened by a drooling beast who needed to go pee.
“Sorry, Mommy.”
Marley stepped into the room and climbed up on the bed, as well. “I didn’t think you wanted me taking her out by myself.”
“You’re fine, sweetie,” Sam stated as he pulled on a pair of running shorts and a tee. “I’ll take Daisy to the bathroom. Then you and I will make your mom breakfast in bed.”
Sam snapped his fingers and Daisy followed him from the room.
Marley squealed and clapped her hands. “I must be doing better, huh?”
Tara sat up and smoothed Marley’s crazy bed head away from her face. “What do you mean?”
“You and Daddy are sleeping in the same bed instead of him watching over me,” Marley explained. “I guess since I’ve remembered things, I’m doing better and you’re not worried.”
Not worried? Tara’s list of worries was quickly growing and last night’s weakness on her part only confused her more. She’d thought she could take comfort from Sam, and she had, but then everything had felt so good, so right. From making love to having him hold her and not try to convince her to take him back.
No, Sam wouldn’t try to convince her with words. He was all actions and she was wearing down.
“You are doing better every single day.” Tara wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed her tight. “The memories are coming slowly, but that’s okay. You’re healthy and no more headaches.”
“I have an idea.” Marley smiled. “What if we make Daddy breakfast? He always cooks. At least, I think he does.”
It was true. When they all lived together, Sam had done the majority of the cooking with Marley as his trusty sidekick. Tara nodded and urged Marley to hop up.
“It’s a great idea,” Tara stated, following her daughter off the bed. “Let’s see what’s in there and we’ll surprise him.”
Tara had taken the time she needed last night. She had leaned on and used Sam for his strength and his support. But now she was back and needed to remain grounded and stay on course. She wasn’t going to wait around for Sam to do things for her, even something as sweet and simple as breakfast in bed. But she was going to show her affection by spoiling him just a bit.
Just because she couldn’t take him back didn’t mean they couldn’t work on a solid friendship. That would be best for all of them, actually. Because that was the best option at this point. Having Sam out of her life completely wasn’t a possibility; she simply didn’t think she could bear it again. But letting him into her life fully, back into her home, simply couldn’t be.
Tara loved him so much, that letting him in could ultimately damage them both in the long run. As crazy as that sounded, she’d learned the hard way exactly what tough love was and now she had to live with her decision.
But, she wondered...what if.
Chapter Fourteen
After four days at the beach and a somewhat relaxing vacation, Sam knew returning to reality would be a harsh slap in the face. He would’ve been perfectly content to stay in that mansion on the ocean with his wife and daughter and Daisy.
But he was back and hitting it hard with a new design for the project he’d been assigned. Marley was visiting his mother and Tara had gone into the office to see some clients.
Sam sat in the office he’d always used when he lived in their home and stared at the blank paper before him. He was a little old-school in that he liked to do a rough sketch by hand before he took it digital.
Nothing was hitting him, though. All he could think of was how Tara had come apart in his arms and then cried on his shoulder moments later. He knew her tears hadn’t been from regrets. Tara was afraid. She was worried about their daughter, but she was also terrified about her feelings for him. She didn’t have to say a word; he knew her as well as he knew himself. She was afraid to fall for him again, but she was...and he was going to use that kernel of information to work on rebuilding their future.
He grabbed the pencil and hovered it over the blank page. His eyes went to the computer screen with the original draft pulled up. His mind had been working overtime to try to get everything perfect and not give the client another reason to change his mind.
After sketching and tossing wadded balls into the corner, Sam glanced at the time on the screen and realized nearly four hours had passed. His mother had said she would keep Mar
ley all day because they were going to do some heavy retail therapy and get their nails done. Tara should be home from work soon, so he figured he should start dinner.
His cell vibrated on the desk and he spotted his boss’s name. After nearly forty-five minutes on the phone with Bill, Sam was glad that he hadn’t gotten too far in the design since there was yet another change. Minor this time, but still.
Sam disconnected the call after making plans to go into the office and meet with Bill and the client. So much for making dinner for Tara. He’d have to call his mom and ask her to keep Marley until Tara was home. He’d tried to keep his mother and Tara separated, but some things were unavoidable. He had a job to do.
The front door opened and closed; heels clicked down the hallway followed by a scurry of dog paws on the hardwood floor.
“Okay, girl, I see you,” Tara cooed. “No, not on the shoes. Not on the new shoes. Damn it.”
Sam laughed as he pocketed his phone and headed to the living room. Tara squatted to pet Daisy, getting a lick to the side of the face.
“I knew you loved her,” Sam stated from the doorway.
Tara’s eyes locked on his as she rose to her full height. That plum-colored skirt and matching jacket hugged her every curve and he wished like hell he didn’t have to go to the office. He’d make use of their alone time together.
“I was going to have dinner ready, but I need to head out to the office.”
Tara’s brows drew in. “I thought you took time off.”
“I did, but there’s a project I’m working on and I need to meet with Bill and the client.”
“Now?” Tara asked.
The hint of disapproval in her tone had him pausing. “I asked Mom to keep Marley for dinner, so you don’t need to worry about that.”
She stared another minute before shaking her head and bending to slip off her heels. “That’s not what I was worried about,” she muttered.
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