“I love you, sweet girl. You can stay anytime.”
When Daisy and Marley were gone and the door had shut, Tara turned to face her mother-in-law. “Thank you for keeping her.”
“Of course. She asked if she could stay all night and I’ve missed having some girl time.”
Tara smoothed her sundress down and pulled in a deep breath. “I know we’ve had our differences, but I want to start working on that.”
Carol blinked and jerked back. “You’re divorcing my son. A man who did everything for you and your daughter, and when he had a rough patch, you kicked him out.”
“He needed to get help,” Tara replied, keeping her tone light. “We want to work on our family again.”
“Do you mean you need him in your life now that he’s not sick?”
Tara rubbed her forehead. She should’ve let Sam handle this. She really should’ve, but she’d figured she’d extend the proverbial olive branch. Unfortunately, she’d been smacked in the face with it.
“I’ve always cared for Sam,” Tara stated. “He needed help and he couldn’t do that by staying here. I won’t keep defending myself or my actions, but I wanted you to know that we were starting over.”
“And what about when Marley remembers that you kicked her father out? What will you tell her?”
Tara shrugged. “The truth. That two people loved each other and fought hard to make their marriage work.”
Carol pursed her lips and made some sound. Tara had no clue what that meant, but she couldn’t risk extending this conversation any longer. Marley could rush back in and overhear, which was the last thing she wanted.
“Okay, well, thanks for bringing her home,” Tara said as she moved to the door in her not-so-subtle way of getting Carol to leave. “I’ll have Sam call you.”
Carol didn’t say another word as she took her opinions and left. No doubt she’d be dialing up Sam before she pulled out of the driveway, but that was Sam’s issue to deal with. Tara had tried...which had been the story of their married life anyway. Obviously, Tara would never be good enough for Carol’s baby boy, but whatever.
The door slammed a mere second before the scraping of dog paws scurried over the floor. Daisy came up the hallway, as eager as always, and Marley came running in behind her.
“Where’s Daddy?” she asked.
Tara smoothed her hand over Marley’s bed head. “He went into the office this morning. What do you say we get ready and surprise him with lunch?”
Marley’s face lit up. “I’ll go fix my hair and put on a pretty dress.”
Up the stairs she flew with the massive dog on her heels. Tara simply laughed and headed up to get ready herself. She couldn’t wait to surprise Sam. She truly felt like this was going to work. He’d been clean for nearly a year and still reported to his sponsor and was on the right track.
Tara went into the master bath to check her appearance and spotted a note in the basket with her makeup. Smiling like a schoolgirl with a crush, Tara reached for the slip of paper and unfolded it.
To a new beginning...
Catching her reflection in the mirror, Tara clutched the note to her heart. They were going to make it after all.
Chapter Sixteen
Sam had been gone much longer than he’d intended. His mother had called on some rant about his getting wrapped in Tara’s web again...or some such lame analogy.
He’d been adamant that he and Tara were in love, that they were working on their marriage and that things would be better than ever. No matter how much he defended Tara, his mother had never thought the marriage was a good idea, so Sam was done for now.
After spending the majority of the day working on a surprise for Tara, he’d lost track of time and ended up doing more than he’d planned. But if everything panned out, he would have the ultimate gift for his wife and an amazing start to their new future.
As soon as he stepped in the door at home, Marley came running up to him. He’d barely braced himself before she launched herself into his arms. Daisy came running in, as well, and skidded to a stop...or tried to, but she ran into his legs.
“How’s my girl?” Sam asked, kissing the top of Marley’s head. “Did you have fun with Grandma?”
Marley nodded. “See my nails?” She flashed her hands in his face. “Where were you today? Mommy and I wanted to surprise you for lunch and you weren’t in your office.”
Sam stilled. No, he hadn’t been in his office, which is what Tara had likely thought since he’d said he’d be working. But she couldn’t know what he was doing or where he’d been.
Before he could answer, Tara came into the room but didn’t meet his gaze. Great. Clearly, she wasn’t happy.
“Daddy?”
He focused his attention on his daughter. “I had to step out. I hate that I missed you guys. We’ll do lunch together tomorrow.”
“I work tomorrow and I won’t have time for a break,” Tara stated as she started straightening up the living room.
She fluffed a pillow, she neatened the stack of magazines and she even lined up the remote on the arm of the chair. The place was spotless, but she was pissed and looking for a place to channel her energy.
“Since we missed lunch, can we make dinner together?” Marley asked him.
Sam sat her down and nodded. “Sure thing. Let me talk to your mom for a minute, okay?”
“I’ll go get the pots and pans ready.”
Marley and Daisy scurried off toward the kitchen. Once he was certain she was out of earshot, he turned to face Tara...who was now repositioning the photos along the mantel.
“I know you’re angry, but would you stop and look at me?”
Her hands stilled on the photo of Marley from her first birthday. “I’m not angry.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “You’ve practically got steam shooting out of your ears. Now, will you turn around?”
Tara released the frame and turned to face him. “What?”
“Do you want to talk?”
She let out a humorless laugh. “About the fact you lied to me again? About the fact your boss said he hadn’t seen you all day and sounded utterly confused at the idea that I thought you should be there?”
“I can explain.”
Tara shook her head. “You know what? Don’t. I thought we were getting somewhere. I really did, but the second I let you in, you lie to my face. I won’t go through this again. You’ve been secretive lately and I’m just... I’m not doing this.”
Sam propped his hands on his hips, battling over whether or not to tell her the truth. But he opted not to. Because, in the end, she would always have that niggle of doubt where he was concerned. No matter what he told her, she’d always question it.
“You shouldn’t have to go through this again,” he agreed. “Neither should I.”
Marley stepped into the room, her head bobbing between them. “Are you two fighting again?”
“No, honey, we’re—wait. What do you mean again?” Tara asked. “We haven’t been fighting.”
Marley’s eyes welled up with tears. “Don’t make Dad leave again. That’s why I stayed at Grandma’s so you two would talk and fall in love again.”
Her words were slowly processing and Sam took a step closer. “Marley, do you have your memories?”
She bit her lower lip and rested her hand on Daisy’s head. Daisy took an obedient seat beside Marley, like a big, goofy bodyguard.
“I want you to stay,” she whispered.
Tara eased closer, as well. Sam risked glancing at her, but she only had eyes for Marley.
“Sweetheart,” Tara said, crouching in front of her. “You need to tell us what you remember.”
Marley sniffed. “I know Dad was sick and you said he needed to get better. Then he left and then you told me that even when two people love each other, s
ometimes they can’t live with each other anymore. And then Dad got an apartment and he let me paint my room blue like the ocean.”
She rattled on with more and more details of the past year and it was obvious she’d remembered everything.
“You say you stayed with Grandma so your mom and I could talk.” Sam slid his finger beneath her chin and tipped her head up. “How long has your memory been back, Marley?”
“You’ll be mad at me.”
“Darling, we’re not going to be mad,” Tara insisted. “Please, we need to know.”
Marley patted Daisy’s head and hesitated. Sam wasn’t sure she was going to answer until she finally muttered, “I remembered everything the night we were playing games at the beach.”
So she’d known for several days. That would explain why she’d been trying to get them talking and alone. She wanted her parents together. If he hadn’t been so concerned about her health, he’d have been impressed by her tactics. She was one smart five-year-old.
“I need to call the doctor.” Tara stood and raked her hands through her hair. “This is wonderful news, Marley. I just wish you would’ve told us sooner.”
Tears spilled down Marley’s cheeks. “Please don’t break up again.”
Sam dropped to his knees and hugged his daughter. He pulled up every bit of self-control not to burst into tears himself. Just this morning he’d been so optimistic about their future, but now none of that mattered. He’d once again destroyed his family and having his daughter fall apart in his arms was all the proof he needed that he was toxic to her.
Tara immediately had jumped to the conclusion that he was lying, but that pain was nothing in comparison to seeing Marley’s tears. The second-chance fairy tale might be over, but he was going to do everything in his power to slay his daughter’s dragons.
* * *
The doctor assessed Marley and gave her the all clear. Tara had never been so relieved.
Unfortunately, she was reeling from all of the mayhem with Sam. He’d been there for the doctor’s appointment, but there had been such a thick wall of separation between them since he came home earlier that she didn’t even try to penetrate it.
She still had no clue where he’d been. All she knew was that he’d left telling her he was going to work, and when she and Marley had shown up, Tara had been shoved right back into the past. What had happened to all of his promises and the guy who swore he’d never hurt her again?
Lies and betrayal hurt.
Tara closed the door on Marley’s room after tucking her daughter in for the night. The poor girl was terrified her father was going to leave and she’d wake up without him. Sam had promised her he wasn’t leaving, but the “yet” had hovered in the air regardless.
As she crossed the hall to her bedroom, she rubbed her eyes and prepared herself for a confrontation. There was no way around it.
But when she stepped into the room, Sam was changing his clothes and the sight of his bare chest had her stilling in the doorway. Once again, her eyes were drawn to the mysterious dark ink.
“Why do you have a tattoo of a door on your chest?” she asked before she could think better of it.
Sam’s mouth thinned, his nostrils flared. “I’d think you of all people would understand that.”
Tara stepped closer, her eyes on the image of an open door leading to a hallway that appeared to be filled with...stars?
“I broke the door that last night I left,” he stated, as if she could ever forget.
“You broke lots of things that night,” she replied. “Why the door for a tattoo?”
“Look closer.”
She took a step, then another, until she came within inches of him. Staring at the artwork, she finally saw it...and her throat filled with a whole new host of emotions. Those weren’t stars at all, but initials. Her initials and Marley’s.
“Sam,” she whispered, her eyes darting up to his.
“That door means more than the broken one.” His eyes filled and she knew he wasn’t far from breaking, either. “I needed a symbol to remind me what I could still have, what I could fight for. I needed something...damn it, I had to believe there was a future for us. That’s all that got me through those rough days. I lied to myself and said I could have it all again.”
She couldn’t help herself. Tara reached up and traced her fingertip over the details. His taut skin stiffened beneath her touch. When he stepped away from her, Tara dropped her hand to her side.
“Where were you today?” she asked, shifting to keep her eyes on him.
Sam grabbed a T-shirt from one of the dresser drawers and pulled it over his head. Once he was covered, he turned and blinked several times, most likely to push the tears aside and put up that resilient persona once again.
“Working, like I said.”
“Stop lying to me,” she demanded. “If you met someone or needed to sneak around, I have to know what I’m dealing with again.”
“Again.” He repeated the word with mocking laughter. “You immediately went to the worst time in our lives. Do you ever stop to think of all the memories leading up to that point? Did you truly believe I...what? That I went out for a fix today?”
Tara’s heart beat so hard, so fast, she reached for the edge of the bedpost for added stability. Nerves swirled around in her stomach and guilt consumed her over the pain in Sam’s voice.
“I don’t know what I thought,” she admitted softly. “I know you care for me, for us, but I don’t know why you lied. Can you explain that?”
Sam let out a humorless laugh and shook his head. “Sure. I was working on something for you. You’d always talked about opening your own practice and I was meeting with a guy about a building he was selling. I was walking through and making a list of renovations and I was going to surprise you.”
Tara gripped the post even tighter as another wave of guilt and frustration overwhelmed her. She’d jumped to conclusions when she should’ve given him the benefit of the doubt. She’d been a complete jerk. There was no way he would forgive her, and honestly, he shouldn’t.
They both had their hang-ups and maybe they weren’t meant to be together. Maybe there was just too much deep inside them to let them explore a new life. Perhaps all of those old feelings would continue to resurface and keep them in the past.
She absolutely hated that she counseled people for a living, yet she couldn’t get her own life together. Maybe she needed to speak to someone again and assess her own demons, and try to wade through the chaos and war going on inside her.
“Saying I’m sorry is so... I don’t know. It’s not enough,” she muttered, feeling like an absolute fool. “But I am sorry, Sam. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
Sam stood there, hands at his sides, all serious and sad, and she wanted nothing more than to cross the room and touch him. She wanted to rewind and take back her allegations, to remove all doubts from her mind, to believe that he was the man she knew him to be. But she couldn’t do any of that and their second chance was gone because of her.
“I’m sorry, too,” he murmured as he turned toward the door. But he stopped short and, without turning around, added, “I would’ve given anything to have my family again.”
Tara’s heart clenched as he glanced one last time over his shoulder.
“But both of us need to be in the present for this to work and you can’t give up the past.” He turned toward the hallway and muttered, “I’m sleeping on the couch.”
Chapter Seventeen
“What do you mean, you guys aren’t together?” Lucy gasped as she folded the pale gray napkins for Kate’s baby shower.
The yellow, white and gray theme was both elegant and practical, considering nobody knew the sex of the baby. But since Lucy and Kate both knew that she and Sam were getting along and wanting to work on things, Tara felt like an even bigger fool backtracking now. Li
ke, yes, we’re getting back together. Oh, wait, never mind.
The uncertainty didn’t sit well with her. She had had too much of that growing up, and the last thing she wanted was to live like that in her adult life and have her daughter subjected to an unstable lifestyle. But Sam hadn’t moved out. Marley had been clinging to him day and night. They needed to sit down as a family and talk, but Tara didn’t have the heart right now.
Marley’s memories had returned only days ago, so everyone was still tiptoeing around the important topics. Sam, however, hadn’t slept in her bed and they actually hadn’t spoken unless they’d had to.
“I tore his heart out,” Tara stated as she laid a delicate yellow daisy on the folded napkin. “You know I texted that Marley and I were going to surprise him for lunch?”
Lucy nodded as she continued to another table. “That sounded like things were progressing nicely.”
“Yeah, well, he wasn’t there when we showed up and his boss acted like Sam never mentioned working that day.”
Lucy stilled and turned. “What happened to him? That doesn’t sound like Sam.”
Another layer of guilt slid heavily over her heart. “You’re right. The new Sam wouldn’t ditch work, but my mind jumped back and I accused him—”
Lucy cringed, squeezing the cloth napkins to her chest. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I did. It just came out, and I was scared and worried and... I messed everything up.” Tara pulled out one of the white folding chairs and sank onto it. “He’s right, though. I’m afraid that any time something like that happens, I’m going to let fear take over and I’ll say something again that can’t be undone.”
Lucy set aside the stack of napkins and pulled out the chair next to Tara. “Listen,” she said, reaching for Tara’s hands. “You’re human. You’ve both made mistakes, hurtful mistakes. But you both clearly love each other or this wouldn’t hurt so much. If you didn’t care with your whole hearts, then there would be no pain. Did he tell you where he was?”
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