He wished he could be the man to show her that. But then he spasmed with guilt again. He had his own demons that plagued him and a past that he needed to prove he was better than.
Perhaps he should give up on himself and focus on her. He was likely damned to hell anyhow.
Then he rubbed the back of his neck. She deserved better than a man who’d become earl because he’d allowed his cousin to die for him.
“What’s the matter with you?” Daring murmured next to him.
Exile nearly jumped out of skin. He’d forgotten his friend was there. “Nothing.”
Daring, looked over at him frowning, his face set in deep lines. “You’re acting like a man who just committed a crime, or is being forced down the aisle at gunpoint.”
Exile shook his head. “Are you going to force a match between Diana and myself?” Part of him would be relieved. The decision would be out of his hands. But then he grumbled in dissatisfaction. That wasn’t fair to either woman. Fiona shouldn’t be ruined for his sake and Diana deserved a man who had chosen her.
What did he deserve? Probably a thrashing.
“No. Not yet.” Daring touched his shoulder. “Should I?”
Exile gave a half smile. “No. Not yet.”
“I know you’re attracted to her,” Daring said low and close to his ear.
“And?” He knew he was being intentionally obtuse, though the end result was the same. He couldn’t marry Diana. He clenched his jaw. What would his friend think of his engagement? It was on the tip of his tongue to tell him and gain insight into possible solutions. But then he’d have to admit why he was engaged to Fiona and the circumstances around his cousin’s death.
“And? Men have married for a lot less.” Daring grabbed his shoulder, pulling him further behind the group. “We could be family, you big oaf.”
Exile nearly laughed but it wasn’t out of humor. “I can’t marry Diana. Even if I wanted to, I…” He stopped. He couldn’t hold the words back. “I’ve agreed to marry the woman promised to my cousin.”
“Ewan?” Daring’s mouth dropped open. “Christ.” He patted Exile’s shoulder. “I’m not familiar with Scottish customs. Would she be ruined if you didn’t offer for her?”
Exile shook his head, holding in a sigh. Did he tell him that the blade that had killed Ewan had been meant for him? “No. But she was supposed to be a countess. I didn’t want to take away her future. They’d been promised since they were children.”
Daring’s brow drew together. “And you felt this was your responsibility?”
Callum scrubbed one side of his face. “For a great many reasons, it is.” She wrote to him regularly. Nothing very long or terribly personal. But she tried. More than could be said for him.
“And your feelings for Diana?” Daring tilted his chin down, giving Exile a long stare.
Exile shook his head. Daring didn’t understand and wouldn’t unless Exile told him the entire truth, which he likely never would. “Irrelevant.”
The others rounded a corner but Daring didn’t try to keep up. “Explain.”
Exile shook his head. “We’ve fallen behind.”
“It’s my house.” Daring gave him a dead stare. “I know where the bloody music room is. Explain.”
He looked down at the floor. “I am responsible for my cousin’s death.”
“Hellfire and damnation,” Daring swore under his breath. “You’re not serious.”
“I am.” Exile swallowed. “I should have kept him safe, not endangered him.”
Daring put both of his hands on Exile’s shoulders. “Listen to me.” Then he smacked his collarbone several times. “You didn’t cut him with blade.”
He shook his head. “Tell that to my aunt. She’ll never forgive me.”
Daring drew in a deep breath. “That is difficult.” He dropped his hands. “I want you to think on this, though, because it is a thought I pondered often when considering Minnie. How much do you allow your past to affect your future?”
Exile shook his head. “Daring. I know ye mean well but I cannae undo my cousin’s death nor could I be happy if I left Fiona adrift in the world.”
Daring quirked a brow. “Is Fiona pretty?”
Exile snapped his mouth closed. “I don’t ken I’ve never met her.”
Daring’s head reared back as he smacked his chest with his open palm. “You’ve never even met her? How were the arrangements made?”
Exile’s face pulled taut. “My aunt made them by proxy. I dinnae like it, but I have to go through with the match. I want to be the sort of man on whom others can depend. Like Ewan was.”
“I see.” Daring’s hand fell back to his side. “But marrying a woman you’ve never even met? What if we could find Fiona a suitable match? Then both women could credit you with providing for their future.”
Exile cocked his head to the side. “Interesting idea. I hadn’t thought of it.” Then he shook his head. “I wish I were smarter like that. The club is the only way my lands even survive and even that wasnnae my design. It was yers.”
Daring slapped him on the back as they began walking again. “Well, on that account, worry not. If you married Diana, she’d be full of ideas on how to make your estate more profitable. That woman is so smart, it frightens me—and I’m married to Minnie.”
Exile drew in a deep breath as he puffed out his chest. Married to Diana? For one moment he allowed himself to dream of that possibility and it was glorious. But could he make that vision a reality?
Diana sat in the music room, shifting her chair as Lord Sinclair gave her another long look. His eyes twinkled with interest as he leaned closer, his shoulder subtly brushing hers. Nearby, Bad and Vice sat talking while Minnie sat herself down at the pianoforte and began to play.
Dear Lord, she should be enjoying the atmosphere but Sinclair’s attention just made her uncomfortable. He was too handsome, too sparkly, too perfect. He almost seemed…fake.
And her body was intensely aware of another man, or at this moment, aware that he wasn’t in the room. That he’d left her alone to flirt with a handsome, eligible earl.
A small sigh escaped Diana’s lips. There was likely nothing wrong with Sinclair. The problem was her. She was flawed and she knew it, even if he didn’t. She’d wondered why she’d allowed emotion to rule her heart when it came to Callum, but, of course, the answer was obvious. He didn’t actually want her. That wasn’t right, he wanted her physically, but he didn’t actually wish to have a real relationship with her.
“Is everything all right, Lady Diana?” Sinclair asked, lightly touching the back of her hand.
She resisted the urge to snatch her hand away. “Fine, my lord. Thank you.” She cleared her throat, trying to clear her feelings as well. “You’ve already asked after my family. Tell me about yours.”
A shadow crossed the man’s face. “I lost my wife, but I have a daughter who is my entire world.”
That she could understand and, in that moment, she softened a bit. “My sisters and my family are more important than anything.”
He gave a short nod, his shoulders straightening away from her as his hands rested on his thighs. “My daughter, Anne, is all the family I currently have and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.”
Diana smiled, relaxing a bit. “I feel the same.”
His eyes snapped to hers, all the twinkle gone. “How much would you risk to keep them safe?”
She cocked her head to the side. His demeanor had changed entirely. He’d gone from light and airy to stoic in a moment. “Odd question. Is she in trouble?”
His breezy smile returned. “Not at all. I guess, only having one family member, I sometimes wonder.”
Diana studied him even as she attempted to return his smile. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t sacrifice to keep them safe.”
He leaned back in toward her. “That’s what I like about you already. We’re of the same mind.”
She didn’t respond. She supposed they were,
and yet she didn’t feel any connection to him whatsoever. Diana was spared answering as Callum and Daring entered the room. Her attention snapped to the large and brawny Scot as he filled the doorway.
His gaze narrowed as he stared back, looking from Sinclair back to her.
Minnie stopped playing. “You finally found your way,” she called as she stood. “So glad we’re all here.”
Daring crossed the room, kissing her cheek as if it had been hours not minutes. “Sorry, my dear. What shall we do now that we’re all here?’
“Oh, I think Diana should play for us.” Minnie clapped her hands. “She’s wonderful.”
Diana turned to her cousin. “I’m passable.” She stood, giving Minnie a glare. Her cousin was clearly meddling. “Really, you should play for us.”
Minnie winked. A sure sign she was up to trouble. “Nonsense. Lord Viscount, would you be a dear and turn pages for her?”
“Me?” Vice scoffed. “Is there any scotch involved?”
Minnie let out a huff. “No, there is not.”
“I’d be happy to turn pages for you.” Sinclair stood, holding out his elbow. “Shall we?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Callum called from across the room. “I’ll turn the pages.”
Diana knew one thing for certain. Minnie’s meddling was going to lead to trouble.
Chapter Nine
Exile stomped across the room, making himself as tall as possible. He wanted Sin to know that he was a large man and people generally didn’t tangle with him.
Sin’s brows pushed together as he gave Exile a long look. Exile knew what question the man would ask if Diana wasn’t standing there. He’d say, why are you doing this?
Exile had been clear in the carriage on the ride over that one of the other men needed to trade Chase ladies with him. But that conversation had been for Bad and Vice. They were his longtime friends, they knew the seriousness of the situation, they—and he couldn’t stress this enough—had no interest in Diana beyond their duty to the club and their friends.
But Lord Sinclair was another matter entirely. The man seemed keenly interested in getting attached to an earl’s daughter. Diana was beautiful, and well-heeled, but still something didn’t feel right. Perhaps it was how quickly he’d stationed himself at Diana’s side.
Even when a man was attracted to a woman, he was more likely to observe for a bit, see if her personality suited him. Or perhaps Exile was wrong and only he did that sort of thing?
He ticked back through all his friends. They resisted love and marriage like the plague. And here was Sinclair, practically throwing himself at Diana. He must have some ulterior motive.
Was he in need of funds and looking to tap into Diana’s dowry? Exile’s lips thinned. She wasn’t some prize, she was an amazing woman.
He reached Diana’s side and held out his elbow. Somewhere in his walk across the room, he’d decided it was his duty to protect her from whatever intentions Sin had. Or perhaps he was simply indulging his own jealousy. “Lady Diana.”
She gave him a puzzled look as she placed her hand in his elbow. “Lord Exmouth.”
He ignored the little voice that reminded him he’d come here for the exact opposite reason. Rather than taking on additional protection, he was supposed to be handing her guard off to another man.
They moved to the pianoforte and he helped her onto the bench, stationing himself over her shoulder, leaning close and allowing his breath to blow across the back of her neck.
“What are you doing?” she half hissed, half whispered.
He cocked one of his brows. “What do ye mean?”
“You know what I mean.” Her gaze narrowed. “Tell me what’s the matter with you.”
He dropped the eyebrow. She was getting to know him too well to lie. “I dinnae like him.”
“Who?” she asked, suddenly looking away and shuffling through the pages of the book to select a song.
Liar, he thought as he leaned closer, his arm brushing hers. He was beginning to understand her too. “Ye ken who.”
She slapped the book on the stand. “Try to keep up.”
“I’ve been trying to do that since I met ye,” he mumbled back, but she heard him anyway and turned to look at him.
“You have?” There was a question in her eyes and he wanted to answer by kissing her right here in front of everyone, claiming her for his own. He looked over at Daring who was staring longingly at his wife, his gaze unwavering from Minnie. That was how Exile felt about Diana.
She started the notes of the song, and he started in surprise. The piece was a high, clear Highland song that echoed through the room with haunting beauty.
He couldn’t move as the music traveled through him, touching his soul. It was exactly like Diana, so perfect for him. She embodied the same deep, soulful beauty that left him breathless with desire and…. He leaned over to turn the page and his arm brushed hers, making her fingers slip on keys. Rather than ruin the music for him, the sound only amplified his feelings. He had a definite effect on her. He drew in her fresh scent as one of her loose hairs tickled his cheek.
He wished he could pull her into his lap, hold her close, and tell her that he loved her. He was in love with her. The revelation stole his breath as he reached over to turn the page again. Hellfire and damnation, no wonder he couldn’t stand to see Sinclair flirt with her.
Then his heart constricted. It didn’t change the promise he’d made to Fiona or the one he’d made to his aunt to honor Ewan’s life. He’d do well to find Fiona a new match before declaring his affection for Diana. It only seemed right.
He squeezed his eyes shut. What if she moved on before he accomplished his plan for Fiona? How was he going to watch Diana with another man? Yes, he knew her secret and he knew that Diana believed she wouldn’t marry—but she would. She was full of too much life to be passed by.
Perhaps he needed to return to his home and claim his bride.
He looked over at Bad and Vice. Even they’d known he was not going to stay at the club long, that’s why they’d brought in Sinclair in the first place. But it felt as though Sin was taking over his life. His friends, his club, his place next to Diana.
His shoulders straightened. His aunt had often told him that his allegiance to his life in England was a problem. The last visit he’d made two years prior, she’d said to him, “Come home. Live here like ye were meant to.”
He’d disagreed. The money he made in London kept the farms well-stocked and the tenants fed. She’d frowned. “Ewan would have done the same but he’d have provided for them in Scotland, where he could also give them his attention.”
Callum sighed. She was right, she’d always been right. He wasn’t the man Ewan had been and his love for Diana only underscored that fact. She wasn’t the perfect Scottish bride he should want. But he did want Lady Diana Chase with all his heart and soul.
The notes of Diana’s song died slowly, echoing through the music room and his chest. “That was beautiful, lass.”
She turned to him, her mouth soft but pulled down at the corners. “The song made me think of you.”
He brushed her shoulder as he thought of Daring’s words. Was there a way to care for Fiona and still keep Diana for himself? He knew that he was being selfish, but he wanted her for himself. His fingertips tingled with the hope that thought brought. “Have ye ever been to the Highlands?”
She shook her head. “I’d like to. You told me once that I’d make a good Scottish bride. I think I’d like it there.”
“I think ye would too,” he whispered.
But his heart said more. It softly murmured that he was going to take her there and make love to her in a field of heather. “Do ye ride?”
Her breath caught. “It’s my favorite.”
Of course it was. “We’ll go. We’ll ride for hours and take a picnic and ye—”
She drew her brows together, his face spasming with pain. “Now you’re being cruel.”
Was he? He lik
ely was. What he was less certain of was who he was hurting most. Because his aunt had been right about him all along. He was selfish and not half the man Ewan had been. He stood then just as Sin crossed the room.
“That was lovely,” he gushed smiling. “Play another. I’ll turn the pages for you this time.”
Callum puffed out his chest. Whatever the consequences, his mind had been made up. Diana would stay at his side no matter the consequence. He’d find another husband for Fiona. Sin was not getting on this bench.
Diana knew male posturing when she observed it. She’d once had a pair of hounds that had behaved the same way. They had circled and growled, sniffed and nipped, a bone between them.
Diana was no man’s bone.
She stood, stepping in front of Callum. “Thank you, Lord Sinclair. I may play again in a bit. Right now, I’d love to spend time with all of you. It’s not often I have such interesting dinner company.”
Callum rumbled behind her, the sound echoing deep in his throat.
She tried not to grin but one corner of her lip pulled up. He’d hurt her yesterday with his rejection and while she didn’t want him to really suffer, it satisfied her to know he hurt a little too.
“Wonderful idea,” Sinclair said as he held out his elbow.
She reached out her fingers just as a hand came to her back. “I agree,” Callum said, his large fingers spread across the small of her back, filling her with heat. “There’s a settee near the window that is perfect for two.”
Callum swung her around, leaving Sinclair to trail behind. “Or three,” the other man added, not giving up.
Dogs…bone, she thought with a sigh. “Really, shouldn’t we join His Grace?”
“No,” both men said at once. She started in surprise looking back at Sinclair then at Callum. Callum cracked his knuckles while Sin clenched his teeth.
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