by Robin Baker
More than anything, stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse depends on the stance or movement of the female, and so is much more under female control than male. This is as true for humans as for any other mammal, and it is not surprising in view of our conclusions concerning the function of intercourse orgasm (Scene 25). This fact makes life extremely difficult for an inexperienced male, as he struggles to learn the techniques of intercourse. If his own behaviour sometimes does and sometimes does not stimulate the woman, a man can only learn how to exploit this most powerful source of sexual stimulation either from a great deal of trial and error or from direct education by a woman. Even then a clitoral technique that works with one woman does not necessarily work with another (Scene 36).
On the night of Scene 27, the girl was looking for a long-term partner (Scene 18), and as part of her selection procedure her body was eager to test her chosen male’s competence at intercourse. Because he had at least learned something of courtship, the young man passed her early tests and had a chance of passing her intercourse test. He failed dismally. The more experienced man, however, passed her tests at all levels. The girl probably preferred the older man for many reasons, but one was undoubtedly his superior sexual technique.
When asked why they like men who can stimulate them to orgasm, women naturally reply in terms of the pleasure they gain from orgasm. But the advantages a woman gains from selecting the more competent men are biological as well as sensual. This is despite the apparent disadvantage that, the more influence a man has over her orgasm pattern, the less control she herself has. Yet we have argued (Scenes 22 to 26) that a woman’s control in this respect is a major weapon in influencing her reproductive success. Is it possible that this loss of control is more apparent than real?
No man can force a woman to climax if her body does not want to. A competent man simply helps her to climax when she does want an orgasm. A less competent man forces her to do much more for herself via masturbation and nocturnals. An experienced and competent man is therefore a help, not a threat. But there is another aspect to the female preference for more experienced males.
Basically, a woman uses a man’s approach to foreplay and intercourse to gain information about him. A man who is able to arouse a woman and stimulate her to orgasm signals that he does have past experience of other females. This tells her that other women have also found him attractive enough to allow intercourse. The more effectively he stimulates her the more experienced he should be – and hence the greater the number of women who have so far found him to be attractive. Mixing her genes with his, therefore, may produce sons or grandsons who are also attractive to women, hence increasing her reproductive success.
Interestingly, the females of some species of birds are also known to use this yardstick during mate selection. If a female sees one or more other females mating with a particular male, she also is more likely to mate with him. So being seen to be attractive to other females is an attractive male trait in its own right.
Despite the difficulties, virtually all men eventually learn the basics of intercourse, and most learn even the subtleties. But the faster they are able to learn, the fewer opportunities for insemination they will miss in their lifetime, and the more children they are likely to father, with more women, than their slower-learning contemporaries. Studies have shown that boys and girls who experiment most before puberty, particularly if that experimentation involves genital contact, have more sexual partners in their lifetime. Making the most of early opportunities for sexual practice gives a young boy the edge over his contemporaries, and ensures that in generations to come he will have more descendants in the population.
Obviously, failure to practise when younger does not totally condemn a young man to a life without successful intercourse. If a girl or woman finds a man sufficiently desirable as a short- or long-term partner in other respects, she may tolerate inexperience, a lack of consideration, and other sexual shortcomings. Mate selection is, after all, a process of compromise (Scene 18). In Scene 27, the flatmate undertook to educate the young man in the niceties of intercourse. Her aim was to create a partner who, in addition to qualities that she obviously quite liked, would be moderately competent at helping her to climax when it suited her. While educating him, she was also testing his ability to learn sexual techniques. He was becoming ‘quite good’, suggesting that any sons and grandsons he might give her would also be at least ‘quite good’. Importantly, in educating him to help her to climax, she was not educating him to help other women to climax – or, at least, not to the same extent (Scene 36). He would learn something from her, but not as much as it might seem.
In this discussion, we have concentrated on the sexual development of young males as they struggle to pass the tests created by women in the name of mate selection. Although young women have far less to learn about the basics of intercourse than young men, they do need to learn how to recognise and act upon the urges generated by their bodies. For example, a girl has much to learn about how to masturbate and when to do so – or not. She also has to learn how and when to seek a man’s cooperation in stimulating orgasm during foreplay, intercourse and post-play. Finally, she has a great deal to learn about the techniques of deception and reassurance within relationships.
Her urges to do all of these things will be orchestrated subconsciously by her body, but the expertise she develops in satisfying these urges will depend on her ability to learn – and to learn quickly. Failure to learn sexual technique quickly is unlikely to make a woman miss opportunities for insemination as clearly as inexperience may do for a man. Nevertheless, it will influence the extent to which she makes the most of the opportunities that present themselves. Not least, the efficiency with which she learns will influence her ability to make the most of sperm warfare.
We discuss this learning process for women in Scene 31. First, we look at the dangers and repercussions of the way in which women test male sexual prowess in the early stages of courtship.
SCENE 28
Rough and Tumble
The four teenagers walked noisily through the summer wood, sheltered at last from the scorching early afternoon sun by the heavily leafed trees. Ahead of them, squirrels skittered off the path and birds flew into the bushes, sounding their alarm calls. Nobody had trodden this path for a while.
One of the two boys had recently passed his driving test and had borrowed his mother’s car for the day. They had parked by the side of the road, and for the past fifteen minutes had been walking through the wood on their way to a place known to one of the girls. At first, they had made their way along the narrow path in pairs, the dark-haired couple at the front, the second boy and his girlfriend behind. Each couple walked hand in hand. But when the path widened out, they broke up. The boys had taken off their shirts and, on some pretext, had started to flail each other with them. Then they had run off, chasing each other among the trees. The two girls linked arms and, bending towards each other as they went, whispered comments about the boys’ bodies and behaviour, laughing loudly each time one of them said something particularly wicked.
Leaving the two boys to their games, the girls continued round a bend in the path. Ahead of them in a small, sunlit clearing, a narrow, grass-covered wooden bridge carried the path across a river. Had the girls known what was to happen over the next few hours, they might have thought that the dark pine plantation into which the river flowed looked menacing. As it was, they found the place cool and beautiful. The river was shallow, and the pebbles on its bed made the water babble soothingly as it flowed along.
This sound of running water was the perfect antidote to the heat of the day. Even better, just before the river bent under the bridge and into the plantation, the water formed a large shallow pool just over a metre deep.
As the girls approached the pool, they were overtaken by their two companions, now breathless from their exertions. The dark-haired one stopped at the edge, quickly stripped to his swimming shorts and jumped in, immedia
tely at ease in the cold water. The girls were much slower stripping down to their bikinis and he grew impatient, splashing and throwing water in their direction, provoking shrieks of ‘No’, ‘Stop it!’ and ‘Don’t do that!’ There was much running backwards and forwards as, each time they approached, he splashed them. Profanities flew amidst the shrieks of shock and laughter. In the end, the two girls jumped in and began to exact wet and cold revenge on their antagonist.
The second boy watched from the river bank and slowly stripped down to his shorts. He had been dreading this moment. He couldn’t swim and in truth had a phobia about water. He would have been able to cope on his own, but with all the horseplay going on he was secretly terrified. There was no way he could go into the water with the others. He sat and watched their fun and waited nervously for the inevitable.
He secretly envied the dark-haired boy; envied his muscular bulk, his athleticism – and his ability to swim. He was like a magnet to girls. At parties they would cluster around him, hanging on his every word, laughing loudly at his jokes, each trying to make him notice her. According to rumour he had had sex with almost every attractive girl in their circle, even with the second boy’s own current girlfriend. He, on the other hand, was still a virgin. He hadn’t even been able to persuade his girlfriend, no stranger to sex, to let him enter her. She didn’t mind his fingers inside her and she happily played with him until he ejaculated, but not once in three months had she let him have intercourse.
One of the few from their group who had not so far had sex with the dark-haired boy was the dark-haired girl who was with him today. She was in many ways the most attractive girl in their year at school. Until today, though, she had tended to distance herself socially, and was usually to be seen being driven around by older men. None of these escorts had ever lasted long, and rumour had it that she was still a virgin and something of a tease. She had always refused to go out with anyone her own age, even the dark-haired boy. Today, however, his persistence had been rewarded when at last she had accepted his invitation. As the second boy watched her white bikini go virtually transparent as it became wet, he had to accept that really she was much more attractive than his own girlfriend. As he watched the two girls playing with and making up to the lad in the water, he grew more and more jealous.
The other three knew that he couldn’t swim, but underestimated his fear of water. They urged him to join them, pointing out that it wasn’t really very deep. As he continued to decline, they grew irritated and impatient. Even his girlfriend, embarrassed by how badly he was measuring up to the other boy, became annoyed. Although she genuinely enjoyed her boyfriend’s company, she was much more attracted to the dark-haired one. A few months ago she had had sex with him, but he had dropped her almost immediately. For a while she had been inconsolable, and she still hadn’t really given up hope that one day she would get him back. At this moment she was much more concerned about flirting with him than with her boyfriend. When the other two decided it was time to force her boyfriend into the water, she actually joined them. They scrambled out, grabbed hold of his feet and hands and, despite his obvious fear and genuine pleadings, threw him into the pool. Trying hard not to show his panic, he quickly climbed back out of the water, swore at his companions, then settled back on the river bank.
Eventually, his girlfriend came and sat with him and soon everybody was out, warming up in the sun. After a short, quiet spell he started to throw grass stalks at the other boy. There was another chase, and an uneven wrestling match which he easily lost. When they returned, it was the girls’ turn to throw vegetation at the dark-haired boy. He threatened recrimination, went down to the river, cupped his hands to get a handful of water, and threw it at the two girls amidst shrieks of laughter. They retaliated by joining forces and pushing him into the water. Then they jumped in after him and the fray continued.
The other boy sat, watched and envied. Amidst all the splashing and shouting, he heard his girlfriend say she was going to pull down the dark-haired boy’s shorts. Soon both of the girls were wrestling with him. As soon as he realised what was happening, he grabbed his shorts, shouting, ‘No . . . stop it!’ and swearing loudly. The other boy watched, a jealous half-smile on his face, wishing something like this would happen to him once in a while.
The dark-haired boy was excited. The idea of losing his shorts to the two girls appealed to him, but he still fought and protested. He yelled, ‘No!’ a few more times, swore, insisted his shorts would tear, and then when he felt he had protested long enough stopped struggling and let them have their way. It was the other boy’s girlfriend who completed the job, waving her trophy excitedly in the air. When he grabbed at his shorts, she threw them to the other girl. The dark-haired boy and the other one’s girlfriend collapsed in a heap into the water. Meanwhile, the dark-haired girl climbed out of the pool, picked up her boyfriend’s other clothes, and disappeared with them into the woods. The naked boy was so busy playfully wrestling with the other boy’s girlfriend and getting aroused that he didn’t notice what was happening on the bank – until his own girlfriend reappeared. When he realised what had happened he sank back into the water to hide his erection, while he worked out what to do next.
After listening to the jokes and the accusations of cowardice for not standing up, he turned to his girlfriend, urging her to get his clothes for him. However, despite good-humoured banter and threats, she refused to cooperate. False irritation crept into his voice and, eventually, he announced that he didn’t care who saw him ‘with a hard-on’ and that his girlfriend was going to pay. With that, he swam towards the bank and clambered out of the water. His girlfriend stood for a second, frozen with excitement and indecision. Then, as he stood facing her on the bank, she began to run up the path towards the bridge. The boy gave chase. The pair were only just in view of the others when he caught her, wrestled her to the ground and sat astride her, pinning her arms to the ground. They were both breathless. She was laughing, but he was not. Still visibly excited, he was on the verge of losing control.
He asked where she had hidden his clothes. She said he had to find them. He put his hand on her bikini top and said that if she didn’t show him where they were, he would take it off. She pretended to give in, saying she would show him where they were, but as soon as he let her stand up she went to run off again, laughing. He grabbed her, put one hand on the back of her neck, twisted an arm behind her back, and asked her again to show him. She protested that he was hurting her. He wouldn’t let go until she showed him his clothes, he said, and began to frog-march her into the wood, heading back to the place where he thought she had taken them. They disappeared into the trees.
The other boy’s girlfriend had become aroused by her close contact with the dark-haired boy, memories returning of the occasion they had had sex. Disappointed at his departure, she redirected her arousal towards her boyfriend. She reached out her hand to pull him to his feet, and suggested that they too went for a walk. Once he was standing up, he pulled her cold, wet body against him and kissed her. When she felt him becoming aroused, she suggested again that they move on in case the others came back. They walked a short way until they found a secluded spot on the river bank and lay down hidden from the path by vegetation. When he complained that their wet clothes were uncomfortable and that they should take them off, she agreed. For the first time since they had met they could actually see each other’s nakedness, instead of fumbling with each other in the dark of his mother’s car. He knew she was on the pill, and assumed that at last they were going to go the whole way. She assumed that, as he had always restrained himself in the past, he would do so again.
At first, their petting followed its usual course. He kissed and stroked her rapidly warming skin. She stroked his back. He fiddled inexpertly with her genitals, she held his penis in her hand. He said he didn’t want to come yet, and moved to get on top of her. When she complained, he said he just wanted to rub himself against her. She said she didn’t want him to. He urged he
r to let him, and eventually she relented. After a few seconds on top, he said he wanted to enter her. She said no. He pleaded, she refused. He asked why she had let his dark-haired friend have sex with her but wouldn’t let him. She hadn’t wanted to have sex with the other boy, she lied. Anyway – and she said this with more honesty – he hadn’t given her much choice.
It was the last straw. Lying naked in the sun, on top of a naked girl, his penis no more than a thrust away from her vagina, he was more aroused than he had ever thought possible. All afternoon, he had felt inadequate and suspected, correctly, that his girlfriend still preferred his friend to him. Now he learned what her preference was despite the fact that he had actually forced her to have sex. The cocktail of emotions was tipping him over the edge. He wanted sex with her, and he was going to have it. If his friend could force her, so could he. If she could still like his friend despite his forcing her, she would still like him. He moved his body down just the distance necessary to push himself in – and missed.
As soon as the girl realised what he was trying to do, she told him to stop and began to struggle. Briefly he pleaded with her to let him in, but when she still said no he used his weight and strength to pin her to the ground. They struggled as he tried both to hold her down and to find her vagina. He stabbed and stabbed with his penis, but kept missing. Slowly it dawned on the girl that, unlike his friend, he didn’t know what he was doing. He had the strength, and the weight, but not the experience. He was trying everywhere but the right place. She carried on biting and scratching and angrily protesting, while subtly changing her position to try to make penetration easier for him. But it was too late. The feelings of frustration and inadequacy merged into panic in the young boy’s body. He still wasn’t inside her, and he couldn’t hold off ejaculation any longer. As the spurts came, the semen running down between her buttocks on to the grass, he felt totally pathetic. He had risked all, and failed.
