“Don’t over think it, Angel” he says softly, an emotion I’m not going to look at too closely, warming his eyes. He bends down and lightly kisses my lips, then steps back and pulls his shirt back down, which I try desperately hard not to pout at.
He pulls me over to one of the couches and tucks me into his side, my head on his chest and his arm thrown over my shoulder. My mind is spinning a mile a minute, I kissed Jensen. I was so close to fucking Jensen, I really fucking wanted to. Even now my body is still singing for him and although I know it’s a bad idea, a really bad idea considering how I feel about the others, my body is practically begging me to find somewhere private and finish what we started.
“I’m good guys” he yells.
The guys come stomping back in a couple of minutes later, carrying the Chinese that must’ve have been delivered whilst I was helping Jensen, is that even the right word? I mean I did help him so, yeah; I’m going to go with helping not, you know, almost fucking him in a lust filled haze. I almost groan aloud at the utter crap currently circling my brain, I think he broke me.
“You good man?” Cash asks worriedly, his green gold eyes concerned.
“I’m good, seems like Ever is good at dealing with all our issues” he grins, obviously referring to Rafe starting to talk again and Riot sleeping without nightmares when he sleeps next to me.
“She really is” Riot smiles softly.
All the compliments and attention make my cheeks heat with a blush for the first time ever.
“Fuck are you blushing, Everleigh?” Rafe signs, crashing down on the seat next me and making me and Jensen bounce.
I scowl at him and cover my burning cheeks with my hands, “No I’m not” I growl.
Each of them smirk at me, as Rafe and Trick pull a large coffee table towards the seats and Cash and Luc start to set up the food and plates on the table, setting it up family style so we can all share. They are trying really hard to act normal for me, but I know they are desperate to ask questions about my scars. It surprises me when I actually want to share some it. Even the condensed version isn’t great though, so I decide to wait until after we’ve eaten to tell them. I scramble onto the floor, absolutely starving, as we all start dishing up food onto our plates.
“What are you doing, Dragonfly?” Luc asks trying to supress his laughter.
His question has all of the others looking at me too and Rafe and Jensen immediately start laughing, as Riot just smirks at me, amusement dancing in his unique amber eyes. Trick just raises an eyebrow at me curiously. It takes me a second before I realise what has caught their attention. Instead of getting embarrassed, I own it.
“It’s my happy food dance” I say grinning widely as I wiggle where I’m sat. “I’m hungry and the food smells awesome” I shrug.
“So, fucking cute” Trick grins and stick my tongue out at him.
“Watch it Ever, or I’ll give you something you can do with that tongue of yours” He grins and winks me.
I smirk back at him, desire no doubt darkening my eyes at his wicked promise. The others chuckle at my expression and I’m half tempted to stick my tongue out at him again, just to see if he’d follow through on his threat, but instead my gaze darts over to Jensen, as everyone starts eating and talking about what happened today at school. Jensen’s eyes are already on me and I brace myself to see anger or jealousy in his eyes. It was quite obvious from my expression what I was thinking, but instead he just smirks and winks at me before going back to his food and joining the guys conversation. The only thing in his eyes was warmth.
That just confuses me more. Does that mean the kiss didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me? That he doesn’t care that I flirted with Trick because he doesn’t care for me that way, so it didn’t bother him? Do I want it to bother him though? If he had acted jealous when I flirted with Trick, then all of the guys would’ve realised something had happened between us and then I’d have to talk to Jensen and admit that although I really fucking like him, I can’t be with him because I also really fucking like the others. Then it would just become a massive clusterfuck and I’d end up losing them all. I shove the food into my mouth because even when I’m in emotional turmoil, like fuck will I waste food.
My mind keeps going around and around in circles like a dog chasing its tail, one minute I’m glad Jensen didn’t react negatively the next I’m hurt and pissed that he didn’t. On about my tenth loop of this ridiculously fucking annoying thought process, another thought sneaks in through my defences and shocks the shit out of me.
What if he didn’t get jealous because he wouldn’t mind if I liked Trick too? That he’d be ok if I liked more than him? That maybe he was willing to … share?
I vehemently shake my head, causing Trick to glance at me in question. I just smile distractedly, as I try to shove that completely ludicrous thought back where it came from. Deep in the depths of my mind. It’s an utterly crazy thought, that would never actually be a real possibility because it would never work. Especially since I like more than just Jensen and Trick. I like, Rafe, Riot, Cash and Luc too and let’s face it, even if it was somehow plausible or possible there’s no way these guys would even consider sharing me and it would be so unbelievably selfish of me to ask.
“Where is she?” a melodic voice yells from the direction of the kitchen, effectively snapping me out of my downward spiral into crazy town, I visit regularly. I’m practically the mayor, they’ve got t-shirts with my face on now.
“Shit my scars, I don’t want your parents to see” I start to panic because in all honesty it was a massive step for me to show my guys, but the thought of anyone else seeing them and demanding answers or looking at me with pity sends panic shooting through my system.
Before it can turn into a full blown panic attack, Cash turns me towards him placing his rough hands on my cheeks and bringing my navy blue eyes to meet his forest green ones, I can’t hold his gaze for long, my eyes running over his strong features and neatly trimmed beard. Rafe starts rubbing a soothing hand up and down my back from where he’s sat on the other side of me, as Trick jumps up, grabs a hoody off of one of the cinema chairs and wraps it round my shoulders, Rafe moves his hand as I immediately pull it on.
“You good?” Cash asks gently.
“Yeah, sorry” I nod, turning my head so I gently kiss his palm and then turn back to my food. “Thanks guys” I say smiling softly.
“Don’t worry Ever, we get it” Riot reassures me and makes sure he has eye contact with me before he lets the demons out to play in his eyes. “I get it” he says firmly.
I nudge him under the table with my foot and smile sadly at him, I hate that he gets it but at the same time I’m grateful he understands. I take another quick mouthful of food before standing up to do up the hoody Trick gave me, so it doesn’t fall off my shoulders and expose the scars there. It’s so big on me that it completely covers up my shorts and the sleeves come way past the ends of my hands, I shove the sleeves up and tuck the front of the hoody into the waist band of my shorts. I don’t want Cash’s parents to think I’m not wearing anything underneath. The entire time I’m adjusting the hoody, I can feel the guys eyes burning into me, at this point I’ve completely given up the whole keep my distance plan. It’s just not going to work. I only lasted a couple of hours and that’s just pathetic.
Instead, I’m going to just go with flow as it were. I’m not actively going to keep my distance from them, this afternoon has proven I can’t even when I try to, but I’m not going to encourage my feelings for them to grow either. Hopefully they’ll eventually fizzle out and if they don’t, then I’m going to have to have a very difficult conversation with the guys.
A small voice in the back of my mind whispers, that the kind of feelings I have for the guys, are not going to just disappear. They’re the real deal and as soon as I admit that, the better.
“There she is. Ever, sweetie we’ve missed you” Cash’s mom, Katrina envelops me in a hug, the suddenness of it causes
me to flinch slightly.
Huh, it seems it’s only the guys who can touch me without causing me to flinch. Fortunately, she doesn’t seem notice as she still holds onto me tightly. The guys do though and they all tense, most likely waiting to intervene if I have a panic attack. After the initial flinch, I find myself sinking into the comfort of a mom hug, Kat always gave the best mom cuddles. I barely remember my mom before she got ill and after, well, she always smelled funny and had lost so much weight that her bones used to dig into me whenever she would hug me. Then she got too weak to hug me back. Don’t get me wrong, I still loved her cuddles, she was my mom, but Katrina’s hugs were always tight and held me together when I used to cry about my mom, I’ve missed them.
The guys see me relax and their tense postures revert back into their easy going and laidback positions again, but as Cash’s dad, Marc comes through the door and starts to make his way towards me, as if to hug me too, Cash jumps up and quickly intercepts him, having a quiet conversation with him. I keep watching them out of the corner of my eye as Kat steps back and holds me at arm’s length, studying me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Marc frown heavily before his eyes cloud with sadness. I’m guessing Cash just told him not to try to hug me and enough of my past for him to understand why he can’t. I’m not worried that Cash has told his dad anything I wouldn’t want him to know, I trust him, and I know he would’ve given his dad just enough information so that he understands the situation and nothing specific.
“Let me look at you” Kat says still holding onto me.
“So Beautiful, cara ragazza” Kat compliments grinning, her side of the family originate from Italy.
Cash gets his olive skin and dark hair from his mother’s side of the family; he can also speak fluent Italian when he feels like it, since his mother insisted on raising him with both sides of his heritage. I used to love listening to Cash and his mom singing in Italian together, as he helped her around the house.
“What happened to your head though, tesoro?” she gently moves my hair away from the cut on my forehead.
So much has happened today, I can’t believe that it was only this morning that I had the ring in with Selena. Fortunately, she doesn’t notice the cut on my lip, it really is small enough that my lips not even swollen anymore. It didn’t even split back open when Jensen kissed me, and we weren’t exactly being gentle with each other.
“I tripped over my bag and smacked my head on the counter this morning” I shrug. Mixing the truth with lies to make a story believable has become a speciality of mine. I really did hit my head on a counter this morning, I just didn’t trip over my bag.
Fucking bitch tits, Selena.
Marc makes his way over to us but has obviously heeded his son’s warning and doesn’t try to hug me, which I’m immensely grateful for. He’s a big dude and if a simple hug from Kat makes me flinch, then a hug from a big guy like Marc might send me into to a panic attack. I smile happily at him showing my gratitude and don’t miss the questioning look Kat shoots him. They’re huggy people, so it’s out of character for him not to hug me, he shakes his head slightly and Kat drops it.
“Hi Ever, we’ve missed you. It hasn’t been the same around here since you left” he says kindly.
Kat nods in agreement, finally releasing me and smiling softly. I immediately plop back down between Rafe and Cash, all the emotional shit and drama that’s happened over the last few hours is starting to catch up to me.
“Mind if we join you?” Marc asks.
“Of course, not” Jensen grins.
“Good I love Chinese; I’ll go get some plates” Kat says as she kicks off the high heels that finish off the suit, she wore at work perfectly.
“So how was school?” Marc asks.
The guys share a quick look before Luc replies. “It was school not much to report” he grins and Mark chuckles no doubt at the typical answer, but it’s not like we want to explain exactly what did happen today.
Kat brings their plates in and they dish themselves up some food. We all start eating, and the fuller my belly gets, the heavier the day wears on me and I end up almost fully leaning against Rafe. I place my head on his shoulder once I’ve finished eating and just soak in the love between the guys, Marc and Kat. We spent so much time together as kids, that we were close with all of each other’s parents, except maybe Riot’s, they’re incredibly religious and seemed to have a problem with a girl playing with a group of boys. We never went to their house and only really saw them at family events, where all the families were invited since they were friends with the rest of our parents in high school. Although looking back, they didn’t seem to be as close as the other parents were, even mine, before mom got sick obviously, dad made sure to distance us from everyone after she died.
Once everyone’s finished eating, we all help tidy up taking the plates and the rubbish into the kitchen and putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
“Anyone want popcorn or something else to drink?” Cash asks.
I immediately turn to Rafe and put on my best pleading face, eyes wide, lips in a pout, I even go as far as to put my hands in a prayer position as I look up to him. Rafe looks at me slightly panicked before his eyes dart to the other guys in the kitchen, clearly asking for help.
“I think she wants another hot chocolate” Riot chuckles.
“Please Rafe?” I practically beg.
Trick snorts in amusement but I daren’t break eye contact with Rafe to glare at him. Forgetting Cash’s parents are still in the room, I reach my arm behind me and flip him off. Fortunately, they aren’t easily offended, and everyone finds it funny.
“Sure, Ever” Rafe rumbles as he grins wide at me, clearly relived that I’m not pulling my pleading face anymore.
I ignore the gasps of Cash’s parents behind me and bounce up on my toes throwing my arms in the air and shaking my butt in the standing version of my happy food dance. Everyone cracks up laughing at my expense but I don’t care as I shimmy up to Rafe and jump up to place a quick kiss on his stubbled cheek.
“You’re my favourite today” I sing song.
“Just for today?” he signs.
I’m glad he’s talking more but his voice must get sore since he hasn’t used it for so long. I really hope that he doesn’t lose the growly cadence to it the more he uses it though, because holy fuck do I love that voice of his.
“Yep, everything resets again tomorrow, or it wouldn’t be fair on the others” I grin before bouncing over to the breakfast bar and taking a seat.
He gets a calculating look in his eyes as if somethings just occurred to him, before striding over to the stove to make more delicious hot cocoa, he turns back to face the room.
“Does anyone else want some?” he signs and everyone including, Marc and Kat want some, he grins happily as he turns back around to get started.
“So, what do you guys have planned for the rest of the evening?” Kat asks as she leans against Marc, his arms wrapped securely around her waist. After twenty years of marriage it’s amazing to see them still so much in love, it gives my jaded and cynical little heart a slither of hope.
“We were planning to watch the latest avenger’s movie in the cinema” Cash tells them as he rustles up the popcorn.
“Sounds good, what about tomorrow?” Kat asks sharing a look with Marc, I eye the guys to see if they noticed and Trick nods as he catches my questioning look, that was odd.
Shrugging it off, I answer.
“I think we’re going swimming during the day and there’s a party in the evening” I tell them, smiling. It’s not until after I’ve said it, that I realise maybe I shouldn’t have told them about the party. A quick glance at Kat and Marc shows that I didn’t create a problem. They glance at each other again.
“So, you guys will be here most of the day then?” Marc asks.
Cash nods, giving his parents a questioning look, obviously having picked up on the weirdness too. They ignore it though.
“Great. We�
�ve got to nip to the office first thing tomorrow, but should be back by lunch. We could have it together?” she asks it casually but the look she shoots Marc again, is anything but. It makes me nervous for some reason, but I shrug it off. There’s nothing I can do about it now.
“Sure, momma” Cash replies, sharing a look with the guys, at least I’m not the only one who realises somethings up. He opens his mouth to question them both, but Marc interrupts him.
“Good, we’ll leave you guys to it then. Don’t forget lunch” he says overtly cheerfully as he and Kat grab mugs of Rafe’s hot cocoa and rapidly leave the room.
“That was odd” Luc frowns after them.
“Definitely” Riot agrees.
“Well we’ll find out what it was about at lunch tomorrow I guess” I shrug and reach both hands out to Rafe who has just finished pouring the rest of the hot cocoa into mugs. “Gimme, gimme” I say excitedly, making grabby hands. The tension in the room dissipates as the guys all chuckle at my antics.
That’s better.
Armed with our hot cocoa and popcorn, we settle back down into the cinema room. Luc and Trick manage to nab the seats either side of me and I chuckle lightly, they just shoot me pleased grins. I take a deep breath reminding myself that I promised to tell them a little bit about the scars after we’d eaten. It will help prepare them for tomorrow when we go swimming and they see the rest of them.
“Guys?” I ask tentatively, they all turn to me immediately, “I know you’re all curious about the scars …”
“You don’t have to explain anything Dragonfly” Jensen says softly interrupting me.
“I know, I want to though” I pause, “if you guys want to know?” I ask, as it occurs to me that they might not want to. There’s obviously not a happy story behind them.
“We want to know, Ever. We want to know everything about you, but none of us want to upset you or send you in to a panic attack” Luc says gripping my hand, “only tell us if you’re ready” he smiles encouragingly.
I nod, these guys are just so unbelievably sweet. Once again, I can feel the day catching up to me, but I can’t back down now. I’d be so disappointed in myself.
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