by Katie Dowe
“Oh Erik,” she whispered in despair. “Why?”
She glanced at her watch and saw that it as a quarter past ten in the morning so it was night time in the USA. She dialed Julian's number and he answered on the third ring. “Mother, are you okay?” his deep voice, so much like his father's, came over the line.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked him sadly.
“Tell you what mother?”
“About your father’s love child.”
His silence on the other end confirmed that he'd known about her. “It wasn't my place,” he told her quietly. “How did you find out?”
“I was going through a box in his office and I came upon it. Where is she?”
“Why?”
“You think I'm going to confront her and maybe demand an explanation?”
“She didn't know until after Father died.”
“Where is the mother?”
“Dead,” he said briefly.
“So I'm deprived of acting out my anger,” she said bitterly. “Why didn’t you tell me, Julian?”
“You weren't in a position to be told, and Father left a letter with specific instructions not to let you know. She wanted to meet you, but I forbid her.”
“You are so much like him,” she said bitterly.
“That’s what I'm afraid of,” he told her soberly. “Now you know why I cannot commit to her.” They both knew what he was talking about.
“That poor girl,” Elena said bitterly. “So you're going to live with her without putting a ring on her finger just because of something your father did?”
“You said I'm like him Mother, remember?”
“I'm grieving right now Julian, so forgive me for what comes out of my mouth. He cheated on me with another woman and I thought we were so happy together. You owe that woman, who is carrying your child, so much more.”
“I don’t want you to worry about that right now. Would you like me to fly over?”
“Your son is due any day now so I want you to stay and see to it that he gets delivered. I'll be okay.”
“I'm sorry Mother. I wanted to spare you.”
“I know darling and for that I'm grateful. I know he loved me but I cannot for the life of me imagine why he was with someone else,” she said sadly.
“I'm sure it had nothing to do with you,” Julian said soothingly.
“Thanks for trying to make me feel better. How is she?”
“She is sleeping right now.”
“Goodnight darling, I'll talk to you soon.”
“Are you sure you're okay?”
“I'm getting there.” She hung up from him and leaned back in the chair with her eyes closed. She had been a fool for her husband and she'd thought he'd felt the same way. He'd shown her that he had and she hadn't thought otherwise. They'd fought passionately and loved the same way. She'd looked forward to fighting with him because the makeup sex was usually unbelievably wonderful. But now to realize that he'd shared his body with another woman and had gotten a child with her was too much for her to bear.
She put her head on the desk and allowed the tears to fall.
*****
He took her into the medical facility as was requested. The room that had been prepared for her was comfortable and homely. She was checked out by the nurses and told to get some rest. “The baby is turning so you might feel some discomfort.” The nurse told her with a smile.
Julian had brought his laptop with him and was about to turn to leave when she called out to him. “Please stay and talk to me.”
“I have work to do,” he told her a little coolly. He'd been more distant than ever over the past two days and she wondered what was going on.
“And I'm about to have your son,” she sighed. “Julian, I know I'm just the mother of your child but that doesn't mean we can't talk. Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”
He sat on one of the comfortable sofas and stretched his long legs out in front of him. “It has to do with my mother and if you weren't due I'd be flying to see her.”
“Oh, is she worse?”
He looked at her and then looked away. The silence continued and she waited patiently for him to speak. “This is something that's going to come out soon so you might as well know.” He clasped his hands in front of him and looked at her. “My parents had a marriage that I admired and was proud to be a product of. They were always touching each other and always looked happy. I vowed that when I grew up I wanted something like that. Until my dad died and I received a letter from our lawyers telling me that I had an half sister and giving me instructions on how to proceed. I wasn't supposed to tell Mother because it would destroy the illusion she had of their marriage.” His face hardened. “If it had been a one night stand I would have been able to deal with it, but this woman was his secret lover for years and a child was produced. I went with the lawyer to see her and was prepared to hate her but she was innocent and had no idea who her father was. I felt sorry for her and wanted to protect her and she reached out to me with such love that I couldn't help but return it. My mother found my sister's birth certificate and called me the other night. I could hear in her voice how devastated she was and it came to me all over again that marriage is a lie.”
“Not all of them,” she said swiftly. He looked over at her.
“I'm like him,” he told her coldly.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I have a lot of his characteristics.”
She laughed at that. “You're too smart to think that way Julian.”
“I'm smart enough to know that I'm never going to put anyone through that.”
“I love you,” she said suddenly and watched as his eyes flared. “I have fallen in love with you, the father of my child, and I want nothing more than for us to be a family. I'm not going to stop until you love me back.”
He got to his feet abruptly and grabbed his laptop. “I'll be in the sitting room,” he muttered and turned away.
“You're not going to be able to run away from me, Julian. Or change the fact that I love you my darling.”
He turned and stared at her for a moment before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Sydney smiled as she felt her son move and felt the slight sting of pain that indicated that he was very near to coming out of her uterus. “Your daddy is being stubborn darling, but he'll come around,” she whispered softly.
*****
Julian couldn't concentrate. He'd been sitting at the desk in the visitor's lounge for the past ten minutes and he couldn't concentrate. Damn her! How dare she say that to him? How could she love him when she didn't even know him? He didn't know her and he'd never asked her about her personal life because as far as they were concerned she was just the mother of his child and that was that.
But it was more than that and he knew it. It was more than just the utterly amazing sex they had. It was more than just the fact that he couldn't keep his hands off her. There was something more there. She listened to him and he could talk to her. This beautiful African American woman from a small town made such an impression on him that he couldn't recover, but he was afraid. He'd seen the way his father had been around his mother and thought that their love was complete but he'd gone to another woman. What if he did something like that? What if he hurt her like that, years into the marriage? Would he be able to live with himself if that happened? Ever since he'd been with her he hadn't been able to touch anyone else. But what if that changed? He bit off a sigh and got to his feet. He hesitated a little and then marched over to the door to go into her room. He opened it slowly and stood there looking at her as she slept. She had one hand on her belly and the other thrown above her head and she was sleeping peacefully. He wanted to touch her, to be with her, to cuddle her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But was it? With a sigh he closed the door softly and went back into the sitting room.
*****
The contractions started in the early morning of June t
enth. She'd slept through most of the night and woke up feeling contractions and was so pleased to find him there in the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked looking over at her.
“I think our son is coming,” she said with a tremulous smile.
He got up immediately and came towards the bed. “Should I call Henry?’
“No. It’s too soon. Could you sit with me?”
He climbed up onto the bed and pulled her into his arms.
“This is nice,” she murmured dreamily as she snuggled against him.
“You're in pain,” he said in gentle amusement.
“It’s still nice.” She took his hand and held it with hers. “Did you sleep?”
“A little bit. I can survive on three hours' sleep.”
“That’s admirable. I like the watches your company makes but I can't afford one.”
“I will give you one as a gift. Just choose.”
“I will. When did you decide that you wanted to go into finance?”
“It was decided for me.” His hands stroked her belly. . “But I like it.”
She moaned softly and he tensed behind her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get Henry?”
“No,” she breathed as she was taught and felt the last of the contraction go away. “I realized that I was very good with figures when I was little. I could add numbers in my head no matter how big.”
“So you decided that you wanted to be a banker.”
“I told my parents that I wanted to become a banker and they told me that I can do anything I set my mind to.” She lifted one of his hands and opened the palm, bringing it to her mouth to kiss the skin there. He bit off a groan.
“Stop,” he said hoarsely.
“We're not going to be able to do anything when the baby comes.”
“You're in pain,” he pointed out.
“Not right now.” She twisted in his arms and reaching up she brought his head down to hers. He hesitated and then met her lips, his tongue easing into her mouth and exploring.
Sydney clung to him. She didn't care that he didn't feel the way she did, she just knew that he was the man for her and nothing could ever change that. He felt when she stiffened and must have known that another contraction was coming on. He dragged his mouth from hers and looked down at her. “Breathe,” he whispered. She nodded and did just that, taking deep, calming breaths.
“How far apart?” he asked her softly.
“Maybe ten minutes,” she told him.
“I'm calling Henry.”
She nodded.
Henry bustled in and examined her. “I'm going to give you something for the pain Sydney.”
“No please! Not yet.”
Julian frowned down at her. “Why not?”
“I just want to wait until I can't bear it anymore.” She tightened her hand in his. “Please.”
He looked over at the doctor and nodded. “The minute you start crushing my fingers then that’s it.”
“Deal,” she murmured.
It was two a.m. when it got to that point and the doctors and nurses bustled around getting ready for the delivery. Sydney was finally given an epidural and she lay back against him, feeling the buzz of the pain killer through her body. Her feet were placed in stirrups as they got ready to deliver her son.
“You're crowning Sydney,” the doctor told her with a smile. It had been eight hours and she was starting to feel the weariness coming on.
“It’s about time,” she eased up against Julian and he held her shoulders. “Ready?” Dr. Whittingham looked over at her and she nodded.
“Don’t push until I tell you Sydney. We don’t want any unnecessary damage.”
Sydney braced herself and as soon as he told her to push she did so, falling back against, Julian spent.
“Rest a little bit. I can see his head but it needs a little more push.”
“You okay?” Julian whispered against her ear.
“Yes,” she whispered back as she leaned against him. “Just cannot wait to see our son.”
“Me neither.” He placed his hands over her belly.
“Ready?” Doctor Whittingham asked her.
She nodded and braced to give one big push.
She strained and pushed with all her might. “Easy Sydney,” the doctor told her as he held the baby’s head and started easing him out. “Another gentle push and that does it.”
She pushed again and fell back in relief as she heard her son cry out as if he was upset that he'd been deprived of his comfortable home.
“He has quite a pair of lungs on him,” one of the nurses said cheerfully as she took him and wrapped him in a blanket. The umbilical cord was cut and the baby brought over to them to be examined by his dazed parents. His black curls were pasted on his scalp and his chubby hands were moving as he looked at them. “I need to hold him,” Sydney said huskily as she stared at the beautiful boy. He had his dad’s straight nose and his skin had a creamy look about it. The nurse placed the child into her arms and she held him gently as Julian looked down at him with such a tender expression on his hard, handsome face. “Hey Dom,” he whispered. “Welcome home, buddy.”
Sydney looked up at him and he bent to kiss her softly on the lips. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.”
*****
She slept for about three hours while he sat in the nursery with his now cleaned up son. Sydney had fed him a little bit but had discovered that he wasn't really hungry. He weighed in at seven pounds eight ounces and was perfectly healthy. The nurses had cleaned her up too and changed her nightgown as well as brushed her hair. Julian stared down at the boy. He had her exquisite features and his eyes were browner than green which made it oddly beautiful. “Hey Dom, it’s daddy. Yes, I'm your daddy,” his throat clogged up and for a moment he couldn't say anything else. He'd called his mother via video so she could see him. He'd also called Lina who was still shaken by the fact that his mother knew about her.
“Do you think I should call her?” she'd asked him.
“No,” he had told her decisively. “Allow her to call you if she wants to.”
She'd been so happy to see her nephew and said she couldn't wait to meet him.
His eyes were fighting to say open as he stared up at his father. A nurse came forward and held her arms open. “I think this little man needs a nap now, Mr. Gessner.”
“I think so too.” Julian bent and kissed the soft forehead, holding him close before passing him to the nurse. “I'll just go and look in on Sydney for a little bit.”
“She'll probably be out for a while.”
Julian nodded and getting to his feet he took one last look at his son before going into her room. She was fast asleep and turned onto her side. Her hair had become undone and lay against one cheek. The dark blue lace of her nightgown gaped open, showing the white maternity bra she was wearing. He'd seen their son suckling couldn't take his eyes off her. She'd been such a trooper throughout the delivery that he admired her even more. He pulled up a chair and sat there looking at her. She looked relaxed and there was even a smile playing around her lips. He leaned forward and moved the hair from her cheek, his touch lingering. He was confused and mixed up, not knowing what he felt. But he knew that he wanted them in his life. He wasn't sure about marriage but he had no intention of being away from them for long. His very own family, he thought with a pang. The papers had run with the headlines that the financial whiz from Switzerland was expecting an American child. He bent his head and kissed her cheek tenderly. She was growing on him.
Chapter 10
“I’ll get him, Sara.” Sydney hurried over to the crib and took her son out. “Hey there, sweetie! Were you getting lonely?” she cradled him in her arms and rocked him slowly. She'd been back from the hospital for two days and was trying to adjust to being a mother. Lorna had been by and several of the bank employees had sent flowers and balloons. Julian had been so supportive but he'd been out to meetings, which he'd put on hold t
o be with them. He treated her differently and had handed her a small gift bag with a stunning rose gold Gessner watch inside it. She didn't dare to guess how much it had cost. Even though he treated her well she was waiting for him to realize that they should get married and become a proper family and it was chafing at her.
She went to sit on of the comfortable lounge chair and cradled her baby to her. He was four days old but looked so big. “Ready for your meal?” she asked him tenderly as she eased her swollen milk-laden breast out of her bra, securing the flap. He reached for the nipple eagerly and Sydney winced at the tenderness. She'd been given cream to rub on it that wouldn't harm her baby and it wasn't as bad as it had been before. He pulled on the nipple hungrily and she bit her lip as the pain darted through her. She was so absorbed in the pain that she had no idea that Julian was standing in the door of the nursery staring at them.
He looked at the swell of her breast and went still as his son curled his small fist on the top of her flesh as he drank from her. He felt himself tighten with need and stepped back before she noticed him. He went swiftly into the study and closed the door behind him, his body wired and tensed. He had businesses to deal with both in Switzerland and Costa Land and he was loathe to leave them. His mother had called and said he wanted to meet with Lina but only if he was there. He had to go and act as a go between and hope that everything turned out well. He walked to the window to look out over the grounds. The gardener had done a splendid job getting the place ready for summer. The pool had been uncovered and cleaned and the smell of roses and daffodils permeated the air. The redwood tree swayed gently in the breeze and the palms dotting the perimeter fencing stood proudly. He could see the tennis court from where he stood and realized that since he'd gotten here he hadn't taken advantage of it. He thought idly that maybe when Sydney was up to it they could go several rounds. He was even thinking about putting in swings and a tree house for his son. He was thinking of permanency but was shying away from the thought of marriage.
