“Do you want to know now?”
“Yes.” Jace lovingly tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “There’s nothing I want more.”
Chapter 19
JACE
The next several months were a whirlwind, for the most part, I had the best of both worlds. With the exception of an extended tour of Asia over the holidays we had just finished, LTZ had settled into an easy routine of touring for a month and then taking two to three weeks off. The band had gotten smarter about our commitments while we were on the road and made sure to schedule plenty of time to rest and stay healthy.
My time off was usually spent at Alex’s place on Bainbridge Island, where we worked on her house. Jen and Becca had come over several times during the summer and fall to help with repairs and improvements. As it turned out, Becca was a lifelong horse owner and lover. She helped Alex get the barn and pastures ready and was trying to talk my sister into moving into the guest quarters so she could take an active role in the rescue and be in charge when Alex traveled.
I’d never felt more at peace in my life than when Alex and I were together on her ranch. For the first time, we had a really long stretch together to firm things up in our relationship. Looking out across the choppy waters of Puget Sound as the ferry headed toward the dock, the familiar feeling of anticipation gurgled up in my belly.
I couldn’t wait to surprise her.
Alex’s car wasn’t there when I pulled into the drive, which meant that I could carry out plan A. Letting myself into the house with my bag of goodies, I sprinkled pink rose petals from the door into the bedroom. Next, I set up a bottle of wine with two glasses. Finally, I pulled out my pièce de résistance, the Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars posters, which I tacked up on her wall. Not long after, I heard the crunch of tires on the gravel, so I quickly stripped off my clothes and jumped on the bed, reclining on the pillows.
Clomp, clomp, clomp. I heard boots heading toward the bedroom, and my dick lengthened into an iron rod against my belly.
“Oh, shit!” Becca winced when she peered in the door, turning away quickly. “I did not need to see that.”
“Oh God, baby J!” Jen covered her eyes with her fists.
Hastily I cupped my junk with both hands, mortified.
“Jace?” Alex peered over Becca’s and Jen’s shoulders. “Are you naked?”
“Yes.” I huffed. “I’m naked. Enjoying the show, ladies?”
Standing, I moved my hands away, so my bits were swinging free and opened my arms wide. Jen and Becca squealed and ran off. Alex laughed, closed the door behind her, and stepped into the bedroom. She leaned against the door, her arms crossed over her perky breasts, long, blonde hair tousled about her face. My cock swelled again. I needed her.
“Oh, wow!” Alex finally took in the scene. “You recreated our first time!”
“Yeah.” I could barely speak, overcome by desire.
I was so incredibly over-the-moon for my stunning girl. I’d been a carefree, sexual dude back when I was twenty-three and she was eighteen. I took her virginity because being around her all summer made me horny. It had been impossible to say no.
Somehow in those few hours, she’d gotten under my skin. I even fell in love with her. After we broke it off, I’d dreamed of her. Missed her. Knew that my own selfishness drove her away.
Now that I was thirty and she was twenty-five, I could admit that my love for her had deepened into something overwhelming. Scary. Necessary. I wasn’t going to do anything to fuck it up this time.
Alex crossed the room and confidently took my hard length in hand.
Finally reunited after I’d been away for three months, all I wanted was to make love to her. To taste her. To lose myself in her body.
“Come to bed.” I guided her to where I’d spread the petals over the duvet. She undressed quickly and lay back, her head reclining on the pillow with her hair fanned out. My breath stopped. The look on her face was nearly identical to the one she gave me so long ago before we first made love. No other woman had ever looked at me like that. Ever.
Like I was the only man who’d ever mattered.
Caging her in by leaning down over her on my elbows, my hair cascaded around her face and she caught my mouth with hers, slipping her tongue between my lips. Cradling her head, I canted my hips to drive as deep inside her as possible. Claiming her.
Gazing into her eyes as our bodies became one, I nearly crumpled from the emotion we both shared. I was a man who prided myself on my ability to control my feelings. With Alex, this wasn’t possible. And I didn’t want to anyway.
I knew I was going to lock her down. I wanted to be with her forever.
“I love you, Poppy.” I willed her to understand how much she meant to me.
Alex blinked and sought my mouth, kissing me deeply. Our bodies slowed. I clasped our hands together above her head. We watched each other. Savoring how incredible it felt to be joined.
Pleasure overtook us both at the same time and she shuddered underneath me. The only sound she made was a little squeal. So damn cute. Unable to hold back, I emptied inside her. Collapsing when my orgasm ripped through my entire being. Spent, neither of us could move.
When I was finally able to roll to the side and spoon her to me, she wrapped her arms around mine over her belly and intertwined our fingers.
“I love you too,” she finally answered.
“Thank God.” I squeezed her from behind. “You haven’t said it in a long time.”
“I know.” She glanced back over her shoulder at me. “But I do.”
“So—I need to tell you something. We came to a group decision after this long Asia leg.” I rested my cheek against hers. “We’re taking a year off.”
“Really?” Alex turned to me. “A whole year?”
“Yeah, Ty wants to get his foundation started. He has a meeting about it in a few days.” I sighed happily. “Well, we all have other things we want to do, so it makes sense.”
“When will your break start?” She traced my lips with her finger.
“We still have a few things to finish up this fall and winter, so probably after the new year.” I sucked the tip of her finger into my mouth. “But we have no more tours planned. We just need to record some songs for a movie and a few one-off shows here and there.”
“Hmmm.”
I figured I’d throw what I was hoping would happen out there. “You and I should come out of the closet, so to speak.”
Alex animatedly rolled her eyes. “Um. The band already knows about us.”
“They think hookup, if anything. They don’t know that we’re a real couple, Poppy.” I regarded her seriously. “We promised no more games, and now that we are in a committed relationship hiding it is beginning to feel like a game.”
“Yeah—”
“I don’t want to hide anymore.” I couldn’t quite get a read on how she felt. “For anyone. For any reason.”
“I know you’re right.” She sighed. “Zoey is doing great. You know she set up my rescue, right?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“She’s at a big law firm specializing in setting up non-profits. Carter actually DM’d me to get her number.” Alex wrinkled her nose. “They had coffee, and she is going to help him with some project he has going on.”
“Huh.” I looked up at the ceiling. I had little interest in talking about Ty and Zoey, it had impacted my own relationship with Alex for too many years.
“Well, anyway.” Alex seemed to get it and waved her hand in front of my eyes. “About us going public—”
We lounged in bed talking for a few hours before emerging from her bedroom. Jen and Becca were making dinner. After much teasing, we managed to make it through dinner and settled into the living room to watch a movie on the most comfortable, cushy couch known to man. It wasn’t long before both Alex and Becca were sound asleep.
“So, is she the one, Jace?” my sister asked quietly so we didn’t wake our mates.
I nodded and ki
ssed the top of Alex’s head, she stirred but didn’t wake up.
“I need to ask you something,” she whispered so softly I could barely hear her. “Did Cassie ever get ahold of you?”
“She texted me a while ago, I blocked her.” I shot her a pointed look and brought my finger to my lips. I didn’t want to talk about Cassie in front of Alex.
Easing Alex off of me, I motioned for Jen to get up and go into the kitchen. I figured it was far enough away from the living room to have this conversation privately.
“Yeah, I ran into her around Christmastime,” Jen continued in a whisper. “She had a newborn baby.”
My eyes must have widened. I know that suddenly I couldn’t breathe.
“Um. Uh. Um . . .” I stuttered.
“Relax. She told me to tell you it wasn’t yours.”
“She said that? Why would she assume you’d think it was mine?”
“There might have been some mention of the hook-up in LA.” Jen’s squeamish expression said it all.
“If you could call it that. I’m pretty sure she roofied me, Jen.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It was over a year ago. I hung out with her and her sister. They came to a show, and I brought them backstage thinking enough time had passed that it would be nice to have old friends visit. Friends who knew me before I was famous. Alex and I still weren’t even speaking at that point. Frankly, I was lonely. The next thing I remember was waking up naked in bed with her feeling really groggy.”
“Jesus.” Jen was horrified. “You could press charges.”
“What? God no. Really?” I crossed my arms protectively around myself. “I got myself tested a dozen times because even though I’m sure that she fucked me, I wasn’t sure if she used protection.”
“Oh shit.” Jen pulled me into a hug. “Have you spoken to anyone about it?”
“What do you mean?” I was confused.
“Jace, she violated you.” Jen’s sisterly protectiveness was fierce.
“Huh. I didn’t think of it like that, I really just worried about getting some STD or that she was trying to get herself pregnant.” Suddenly it felt like I couldn’t swallow. “It’s probably why I’ve ignored her calls and blocked her. She scared the shit out of me.”
“Scared about what?” Alex padded into the kitchen behind me.
“Nothing.” I fake-smiled, giving Jen a pointed look to STFU.
Alex crossed her arms looking disappointed in my response. “There is no need to keep secrets. I heard you talking.”
Fuck.
“Well, then you overheard what happened. Which, by the way, was months before we got back together.” I felt super defensive.
“I’m not mad at you for sleeping with someone else while we were apart, Jace.” Alex moved toward me. I held up my hand, not wanting her touch right now.
“I wouldn’t call it that.” My head was spinning into a vortex.
“Little J, this is so fucked-up.” I allowed Jen to give me a side hug, which didn’t go unnoticed by Alex. “Are you okay?”
Cloaking myself in an invisible protective layer, I tamped down my panic and assumed my calm, in-control demeanor. “Sure, I blocked her number months ago.”
“Jace . . .” Alex said empathetically. “That’s not what she meant.”
“I’m fine.” I dismissed them both. “It’s over, she’s out of my life.”
“You should make her do a paternity test,” Jen crossed her arms, regarding me.
“Nah. Why would I want to open that can of worms?
“Because, if that child is yours you will want to be in their life,” Alex said softly.
“She already told Jen it wasn’t mine,” I spat. “Believe me, if there was a chance of it being mine, she’d have been shaking me down months ago.”
“Hey. Let’s drop this for now.” Alex went to the fridge and poured herself some orange juice. “There’s no need for us to get upset over something that isn’t in our control.”
Relieved to postpone the inevitable discussion, I was grateful for the out. “I’m tired anyway, I haven’t really had a good night’s sleep in weeks.”
“I’m tired too. Let’s go to bed.” Alex reached for my hand. “Jen, don’t leave tomorrow before we have that talk about the caretaker job.”
“I won’t.” Jen hugged her and I heard her whisper, “take care of him.”
Alex nodded and led me into the bedroom. The air was ice cold between us when we undressed and got into bed. Thankfully, Alex didn’t press me for more information or scold me for keeping information from her. She seemed to know what I needed. Which, for now, was for her to let me spoon her until we fell asleep.
Leave it to me to fuck up my first night back.
By morning I could sense my world was moments away from crashing down around me. I just knew it.
I kept it inside, but I was panicking at what this all meant. If Alex freaked out when she had her own pregnancy scare, our odds were screwed if this baby turned out to be my kid.
Something inside me knew. Regardless of what Cassie told Jen. I just felt it in my bones. That baby was mine.
Which meant that Alex and I were over before we had a chance to start.
Chapter 20
ALEX
We didn’t talk about it. We had to talk about it, but Jace never brought it up. So, I didn’t bring it up.
Instead, during the week since Jace had come back, we buried ourselves in projects. Our biggest task was creating an extension to the guest house. Luckily, Jen and Becca knew exactly what to do. Working together, we framed, wired, and sheetrocked two additional rooms.
At night, Jace and I made passionate love.
But there were no discussions.
I was sitting on my front porch sipping my coffee watching Jace chop wood when my phone rang. I was happy to see it was Zoey. I planned to let her know that Jace had been staying with me in the spirit of outing ourselves as a true couple.
“Hey!” I happily chirped into the phone and ducked into the house.
“Hey! You are never going to believe it, Alex.” Zoey’s voice was half-excited, half-emotional. “I saw Ty.”
I knew from Jace that Ty went to great lengths not run into Zoey since she moved back to Seattle. Including spending most of his time in LA. “Where?”
“He hired my law firm to work on his new foundation, I’m his lawyer,” she said with more enthusiasm than I’d heard in a long time.
Considering how happy I was with Jace, I was hopeful for her. It had been too long with too much unnecessary drama. They really needed to be back together. “Wow! How are you handling it?”
“We talked, but he wants to talk more. I’ve got to keep things professional because of ethical reasons. I mean, I’m his lawyer. Oh, Alex. he’s so beautiful. And sweet.” Zoey’s sounded like my high school friend for the first time in eight years. “I’m in so much trouble. I can’t let myself go there. But the energy between us. Wow.”
“That’s really cool, Z. I hear what you’re saying, but I’m really hopeful for you two.”
Jace walked into the room, shirtless, sweaty, and stunningly sexy. His hair was loose and unruly. The wood-chopping manly thing was so sexy. He kissed my neck before he got a bottle of cold water out of the fridge. Even though I was on the phone, I couldn’t help but watch his Adam’s apple glug as he drank the entire thing. He could be in any commercial, that’s how good looking he was.
Quickly saying my goodbyes to Zoey, I moved back toward him.
“Zoey and Ty—” I began.
“Yeah, Ty texted me.” Jace sucked air in. “He’s kind of freaking out.”
“Jeez.” I wrinkled my nose. “She is too.”
“I really want to stay out of it, Poppy.” Jace put the bottle in the recycling. “We’ve been dealing with the Zoey and Ty fallout for too many years. Let them figure it out. I don’t want to jump back on the train.”
“I agree. But, Jace?” I pointed at him. “You and I need to talk. We are build
ing something together and we should clear the air about Cassie.”
“I really don’t want to talk about it, Alex.” Jace crossed his arms and looked down. “I just want to go back to a few days ago.”
“For someone who is so able to take care of everyone around him, you’re not great at taking care of yourself.” I stroked his back, eager to show him that I was there for him.
“Are you going to leave me?” Jace looked at me tensely, a vulnerability shone in his eyes that I’d never seen before.
“Why would you think that?” I was completely taken aback by his comment.
He leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at me for a few minutes before speaking. “Because knowing Cassie, she’s going to drop a bomb on me.”
I had time to think about it and while he didn’t owe me an explanation into his love life during the time that we were apart, he needed to be able to open up to me if we were going to have a future. Especially about something like this. Especially if a child was involved. “Well, what happened to you is shocking, Jace.”
“You know I don’t need to have kids, Alex.” Jace reached out and took my hand, avoiding my comment. “I want to make a life with you.”
“I want that too, but you need to trust me.” I squeezed his hand, hopefully reassuringly. “You can’t be worried about doing or saying something that might break us up. If we’re going to be all-in, we need to be all-in. Kids or no kids.”
“I’m all-in.” Jace gripped me tightly. “Alex, this is it. I’m not letting you go again. Promise me we are doing this.”
“Of course we are doing this. It’s decided. No matter what.”
The conversation ended there, but I couldn’t help but feel as if he didn’t believe me. Truth be told, I didn’t know if I believed it myself. I didn’t know how to talk to him about what happened to him. Or how to help him. Or what to do if he was suddenly a dad.
So I dropped it because it was just easier.
Luckily over the next couple of months finalizing the renovations on the property took all of our focus, so we lived in a bit of a bubble. Now that Jen and Becca lived in the guesthouse permanently, I finally met Jace’s folks, Jason Sr. and Grace along with his other sisters Jaylynn and Jordan.
LIMITLESS: A Less Than Zero Rockstar Romance: Book 2: Jace & Alex Page 21
