by Ciara Graves
“Seneca, wait,” I said.
She paused, surprising me. “What?”
“How much did you hear?” Macron asked as I opened my mouth to ask her if she was alright.
The mage was an idiot, and I considered decking him for pushing her. His question wasn’t asked kindly, but urgently, angrily, almost. He waited impatiently for an answer, not seeming to feel my glare on him. Or doing a damned good job of ignoring me.
“Enough.” Seneca lifted her right hand. The rings crackled with dark shadows and small bursts of white sparks. “You did this to me. You let them all get inside my head? What did you think would happen, you jackass?”
She shouted the last so harshly, Helena flinched, but not Macron.
He took her anger, stared her down. “I wouldn’t have put you through it if I didn’t think you would come out the other side stronger for it and live.”
“Live, right,” she laughed bitterly. “You think I’m going to live through this? You know about the vision Briar showed me. That’s me, not living. That’s forcing Draven to end me. Gods, do you ever think of anyone else?”
“That’s why I’m doing this.”
“No, don’t you dare lay that save the world bullshit on me. I won’t listen to it. Not anymore.” She turned to leave.
Macron hurried after her. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving.”
“You can’t. Not now. We’re on the brink of war. We are gathering an army. This is not the time to abandon everyone.”
“Why not? I’m not a queen. I’m not a princess or a ruler. I’m not anything, but your damned weapon! Just like I was for everyone else. You’re using me,” she snarled as she charged through the gate right up to him. “You took me to that damned place knowing they’d all end up inside my head—talking to me, never shutting the hell up.”
I wanted to know what they were saying to her but never got the chance.
Macron was talking again. “I never would’ve let any of this happen to you if I knew you weren’t going to make it.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, I cursed and made ready to intervene.
Seneca blinked. Her lips lifted in a small smile of disbelief then fell away as her brow furrowed in confusion. “What did you say?”
Macron squared his shoulders but didn’t repeat himself.
“Any of this happen to me. You’re not just talking about the rings, are you?” When he still said nothing, she leaned right into his face and screamed, “Are you? Answer me. Damn it.”
I growled quietly, unable to help myself as the truth came out. Macron’s strong façade shattered in the face of her disbelief and the guilt poured off him in waves. My lip twitched in disgust at the harsh stench, waiting for him to admit what he’d done.
“I had no choice,” he finally whispered. “We mages knew there was a war coming and you’re the last of your kind. If the rest of us failed to stop Rudarius, then we needed you to become strong.”
“By letting Rudarius kidnap me and torture me?” she shouted so loud those inside the house flooded out the back door looking worried.
“I didn’t know. I thought—Seneca, I’m so sorry, but we had to.”
“Did you know what he’d do to me? That he’d turn me into this freak?”
When Macron said nothing again, I hissed, outraged for her. “How did you know?” I demanded. “Macron, how did you know he would turn her?”
“One amongst us saw it,” he replied quietly. “I spoke out against it, but we saw what you could become.”
“And? Tell me, in this vision of yours, which version of me won?”
“If you could just control your anger, see the good you are about to do then you can beat this,” he insisted. “I have faith in you.”
“I trusted you,” she whispered, hurt, and in obvious pain. “You, of all people. You betrayed me.” She backed away then kept on walking.
Macron and Helena called out to her, but she flipped them off and continued toward the field then the woods.
“Watch over her,” Macron said, his face paling when I let the full weight of my glare fall on him. “Please, Draven.”
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do all this time? And you just keep making it worse.”
“We did what we had to do. Seneca does what she has to do, too.”
“Seneca would’ve been a lot better off if she had nothing to do with any of you,” I replied hotly.
I glanced toward the cottage and the multitude of faces looking at us. I threw up my hands and hurried after Seneca. It wasn’t hard to find her. The sound of trees cracking was loud enough to know exactly where she was. I leaned against another trunk and watched as she beat the crap out of several large oaks around her. She screamed and cursed as she punched them over and over again. When her knuckles were raw and bleeding, she backed away and fell to her knees.
I blurred to her side then and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“Why?” she whispered. “What did I do, huh? Why me?”
I had no answers to give her, nothing to say that would make her feel better. “I don’t know,” I finally said. “But we’ll get through this together. Don’t worry about them, any of them. You focus on the end game and please, don’t push me away. Not now.”
“I don’t want to.” She curled against my chest, there in the woods, in the dead leaves and dirt.
She didn’t say anything else, but the words hung in the air all the same. She didn’t want to push me away, but she was going to do it anyway. The voices inside her head, the spirit of the Sa’ren people, they’d make her shove me to the side. And once again, I was helpless to save her from this torment. I couldn’t take on the rings and the power for her. All I could do was sit here, be with her, and tell myself I couldn’t be the one to finish her off if it came down to it.
I wouldn’t be the final one that betrayed her.
Chapter 2
Seneca
Draven and I sat in the woods, holding hands, talking quietly about nothing important. Our backs rested against each other’s, and as the sky began to lighten, I squeezed his hand.
“You need to get inside.”
“I’ll be fine for a bit longer,” he replied.
“I don’t want you to get burned. Go inside. I’ll be there in a little while.”
He shifted behind me and then his lips were pressed against my forehead. I leaned into his touch, hugging him.
“See you inside then.” Then he was gone.
I moved only far enough over so I could rest my back on a tree trunk. As the sun rose, I watched the sky lighten, the pink giving way to orange then brighter shades of yellow that would eventually turn to a cheery blue sky. It was going to be a sunny day. How perfect. I shut my eyes, knowing I should get back to the cottage, but everyone was there. I smiled. No, they probably weren’t. Draven would kick them all out for me. That’s how good he was. He’d do everything he could to keep me from losing my mind now.
Someone had to because I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out.
You’re not alone. We’re here with you. We’re always here with you. Remember your purpose, Seneca. Remember why you have the rings.
“Go away,” I whispered, not in the mood to hear them now.
The voices, now that I knew who and what they were, didn’t frighten me, but they were irritating. How was I supposed to carry the weight of an entire people on my soul? They continued to whisper and promise me greatness, but all I wanted was a few moments alone. I scrunched my eyes shut and breathed in deep, let it out, then did it again. Bit by bit, my body relaxed, and then I wasn’t in the woods anymore. The ground beneath me turned soft, the tree at my back was gone, and the smell of wet, decaying leaves was replaced by a fire in a hearth and the sweet aroma of fresh blood.
I didn’t even open my eyes but felt a goblet pushed into my hand, gently, and the cushion I sat on sank as someone joined me on what I realized now was a couch.
&nb
sp; “If I might be so bold as to say this, you look terrible, my pet.”
I laughed quietly, opening my eyes to find myself back in the room with Rudarius. He too was smiling.
I shrugged. “I’m never going to be rid of this place.”
“Do you want to be? You and I both know you could sever this connection.”
He was right. I did know that. I could do it right now and ensure I’d never come back, but the thought of doing that left me feeling uneasy. I drank the blood he’d handed me and rested my head against the couch as I pulled my feet under me.
“I still hate you.”
“For now. You hate me for now.”
I was too mentally exhausted to argue with him. Why was I even here? I should be at the cottage with Draven, and yet I was here to what? Let myself be comforted by Rudarius? A small sliver of understanding and almost forgiveness started to appear in the back of my mind. He might’ve turned me, but Rudarius had been used just as I had. If the mages had wanted to keep me safe, they would’ve. Rudarius never would’ve gotten his hands on me.
But he had. And he’d created the only weapon strong enough to destroy him. It was sad really. I almost told him as much, but all the voices of the Sa’ren were shouting all at once, and I cringed from the resounding pain it left in my skull.
“Do you ever wonder if you would’ve made different choices what would’ve happened? How different this would’ve turned out?” I asked quietly.
Rudarius tilted his head, studying me closely. “I do.”
That surprised me, and I looked into his eyes. They were not red, but a dark hazel. They were clear. I’d never seen them like that. It was a trick most likely, but I didn’t call him out for it.
“And?”
His eyes searched mine for a long, drawn-out moment. “And I realize no matter what I chose, I would’ve ended up right where I am now, for the most part. I wish… I wish I would have been different in one regard, Seneca, and one regard only. Then perhaps you wouldn’t look at me like you wished to see my head removed from my body.”
I drained the blood in the goblet and set it on the table. “What would you do if you found out everything you thought you knew was a lie?”
“Ah, I see. More of the truth has come out?”
“Traitors. I’m surrounded by traitors and villains. All except Draven. So before you say anything against him, I’d watch it,” I added.
Rudarius gave me a sardonic grin. “You know me oh so well.”
“Yeah. Still not joining you.”
“Then why have you come here? Hmm? Surely if you wanted to be comforted, you would be with Draven and not me.”
I rose, unable to sit still any longer. “Draven could never understand this anger inside me.”
“But I can.”
You’re drawing him in. Do it now. Show him you have the upper hand. Show him what awaits him. Use his own power against him. Do it, Seneca. Do it now.
“Seneca?”
I rolled my head on my neck, and turned to face Rudarius again. “You do comfort me,” I admitted, not sure where the words came from, but his eyes widened at them all the same. “It’s strange and something I can’t explain, but you do.”
He came to me then, walking slowly as if approaching an animal that might try to take his head off. He’d be right on that count. “Then join me and be done with the others. I will not betray you.”
I cupped his cheek in my hand. “I know because you already did.”
The partial smile that had been on his face at my touch faltered. “What?”
I placed my other hand so I held his face as I hissed quietly. “You betrayed me all those years ago. You told me the truth, yeah, but you betrayed me. Care to see? Care to know exactly what you did to me?”
“Seneca, what are you doing? This isn’t you.”
“What’s not?”
“That look in your eyes,” he said, trying to pull free, but I held him fast. His hands covered my wrists, but there was no breaking free of my hold. “Seneca.”
“Oh, is that fear I sense in you? Good, let’s see if we can’t amplify that feeling.”
I wasn’t sure how he created this room for us to be in, but I closed my eyes and imagined it shifting around us.
Rudarius struggled to get free, but he wasn’t going anywhere, not with so many voices inside my head urging me on, giving me the strength required to keep him right where I wanted him. Trapped in my grasp for a change. I sensed the room changing, twisting, and the moment I recognized it would appear as I wanted, I opened my eyes.
We were in Rudarius’s dungeons just as I remembered them. I let go of his face.
He stepped back, looking around confused. “What are we doing here?”
“Showing you what true fear is.” I shoved him into a wall and manacles snaked up his arms, forcing him back against the harsh stones. Two more closed around his ankles. “There.”
He strained to pull free, his eyes fearful and wide as he shook his head. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you all I remember of the comfort you gave me.” I stepped to the side as a line of vampires moved forward, their faces expressionless. Each one was familiar from my memories though; yet another vampire Rudarius forced to bite me, feed off my blood. “Shall we begin?”
Rudarius didn’t scream, not at first. He cursed and shouted for me to stop this madness as the vampires tore at his arms and neck, biting him with relish. And it was just that, madness.
I knew this wasn’t me torturing him. I didn’t want to stand there and watch as his skin became torn and bloody, as his anger gave way to true fear. When he started to plead with me, I reached as if to undo the manacles, but the chorus of voices rose within me again, and instead, my hand went to his mouth. He fought against me, but in this reality, I was stronger. I pried open his jaws, and as he growled and hissed, I tore his fangs from his mouth as he shouted. As he watched, I shattered them into pieces in my fists, turning them into dust.
He sagged against the wall, blood gushing from his mouth open and wounds.
“Not wings, but I’m sure it still hurts.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Why do you think?” I leaned against the wall beside him. “Just giving you a taste of your future. How do you like it so far?”
The dungeon shifted around us.
I frowned. I wasn’t doing that. Rudarius’s hands suddenly snapped free of the manacles, and he grabbed hold of my shoulders. I blinked, and we were back in the other room. He threw me into the far wall.
I bashed my head against the stone. My vision blurred and my stomach heaved, realizing what I’d just done. Granted, he was Rudarius, the enemy, but I just sank to his level. I tortured him for the joy of it.
And you’ll do it again and again until we break him.
My eyes slipped to the rings on Rudarius’s left hand. That’s all they wanted so they could be free to do as they pleased.
Rudarius roared, and his fist collided with my face.
I didn’t even fight back, my mind in turmoil over it being pulled so many directions.
He punched me two more times, but on the fourth, his fist stopped short of making contact. “Seneca?”
There was nothing I could say.
He needed to die, and those rings, I prayed they’d be destroyed with him. The second the thought crossed my mind, the voices screamed as one inside my head and I screamed with them, clutching at my temples as I fell to the floor.
Rudarius was talking, but I had to get away from him, away from this damned place. I pictured myself back in the woods, and when I rolled over to my back, I looked up into a maze of tree branches swaying lightly in the breeze. The screaming had stopped. Dead leaves fluttered down around me. The sun had been up for a while now.
Draven was probably worried about me.
Had he felt any of what I just did? Gods I hoped not. I scrambled to stand upright, but the world spun around me, and I was left bending over, losing what
ever tiny amount of food I’d had last night.
You will weaken him, and when the time comes for the final battle, you will defeat him.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered when I finished heaving. “I can’t.”
You don’t have a choice. You will do it willingly, or you will become nothing but a puppet, unable to think. Unable to move as you want. What would that do to poor Draven, huh?
“Don’t you dare talk about him.”
Then do as we say, and all will be well. You’ll see. Everyone who ever thought they could use us, control us, will no longer matter. It’ll be over soon. Just follow the plan. Stay on course. All will be well.
All would not be well, but if they heard that thought, they stayed quiet.
I stumbled through the trees until I reached the field. The cottage seemed so cheery sitting there in the sunlight surrounded by a white fence. It should’ve been happy, filled with life. And instead, it was becoming a prison. Draven was already too worried about me. I couldn’t let him know how bad it really was inside my head.
Couldn’t admit that I was slipping toward the side of evil. Torture. I just tortured Rudarius. And I enjoyed it. A shudder had me digging my nails into the bark of a large maple, holding onto it until the tremors finally ceased. I would just have to find a way to use this power inside me and not let it use me. Even as I thought it, a faint echo of laughter fluttered past my ears.
They could laugh all they wanted, but I was not going to lose myself.
I was not going down that easy.
When I arrived back at the cottage, Draven had been sleeping, but it was far from peaceful. He tossed as I watched, hissing as his face screwed up in pain. My name slipped from his lips, and I hurried to change into my sleep clothes and crawled beneath the blankets beside him. His arms instinctively found me, pulling me to him. I closed my eyes, the hardness of his chest against my back more comforting than any other sensation I could think of. My eyes slipped closed, and eventually, I drifted off to sleep.
