by Jaymin Eve
“Come on, sweetheart,” Jesse said, waiting for me at the end. The other guys were up at the table, food spread out around them. “You need to eat. Even supernaturals can’t go on indefinitely without fuel.”
Striding up the stairs, legs dead as they struggled to hold me, I fought against the bone-crushing exhaustion. “I’d like to sleep a little first,” I said, too many memories of breakfast around this table pressing in on me.
Jesse’s face drew into stubborn lines, his lion flashing in his eyes. “Not happening. You are going to eat before you sleep. That’s a fucking order. If you won’t look after yourself, and Asher isn’t here to do it, then it falls to me.”
I growled back a little, and it was shocking to feel something other than grief. “I don’t need anyone to look after me. Asher is gone, and I’m still here. I’m still functioning.”
Barely.
“Prove it to me,” Jesse said, even more growly than me. “Eat some fucking food.”
Something clicked inside me, and I nodded. I had spent too many days in a whirl of grief, too many days as a shell of a person, barely functioning. As much as it hurt, I had to start living again, because if I didn’t, what the hell was the point of Asher saving my life?
“Okay,” I whispered before grabbing a towel and wrapping the long length around myself. The air was cool, a storm brewing in the background, but I barely felt it.
It was a quiet, somber crew that sat around and picked at the bacon and eggs and toast on the table. I managed to eat half a plate, which seemed to satisfy the guys. Axl reached out at one point and grabbed my hand. I almost jerked away, because his kind touch hurt me, deep in my chest where the well of pain existed, but the look in his eyes stayed my hand. He was hurting as much as I was. He needed the comfort.
So I held his hand for the rest of breakfast, and I was relieved when the desperate screaming in his eyes faded a little.
“Princeps Jones said we could take as long as we needed to return to classes, that our grades would not be affected by our absence,” Calen said suddenly, breaking the heavy silence. “But I’m just not sure I can stay here without Ash. It’s … empty.”
That word was like a bullet to my body. It slammed into me, breaking through my skin and shattering the fragile bone, muscle, and organs beneath.
Empty.
That was everything I’d been feeling.
I was empty.
“We need to stay for Maddi,” Rone said, having spoken very few words since Asher’s death. He had taken it very hard, and outside of a few grunts I could not remember him saying anything or even being around much.
“What’s here for me?” I asked, wondering what the point of it all was.
“Atlantis,” Rone added. “Whatever is happening with Atlantis, that’s not going away just because of Asher. And it’s not going to leave Maddison alone … she’s an integral part of it all.”
Atlantis, right. I’d forgotten completely about that place, but the thought of that immediately connected to the next thought. Gods. One of those fuckers had returned, and they had killed Asher, and now they were somewhere close to Atlantis. I knew it. I knew this was the reason they were back, and now I wanted to find that fucking god and rip them into a million pieces.
“Holy shit,” Calen whispered, and I jerked my head to him. His eyes went wide.
“You’re looking a little freaky right now,” Axl told me. “Your power is visible … on your skin.”
I glanced down, shaking my head at the lightning streaks across my skin. “That’s not my power,” I said breathlessly, some of my anger fading. “That’s—”
“The power that killed Asher,” Jesse cut in.
It was. It was the exact shade and shape of those lightning bolts that had been in the tank with him.
“Is Maddison affected now too?” Rone asked, jumping to his feet in a rush. “She was in the tank with him when he exploded.”
I was fascinated by the power, watching as it zigged and zagged across my skin, only to raise my line of sight to find that there was no necklace around my neck. Holyfuckingshit.
I got to my feet as fast as Rone, which should have been impossible without vampire speed, but apparently I was full of surprises.
Like … my power. It wasn’t out of control. Did this new power on my skin somehow suppress my original energy? I could still feel the heat swirling inside, but it felt … more contained.
“I’m not wearing my necklace,” I said in a rush, trying to keep the panic from spilling over in my words. “I’m … what does this mean?”
The guys gathered closer, pushing in on me. I wanted to scream at them to run the other way, because if I lost control I could kill them. You’ve been with them for days de-necklaced, my inner voice reminded me, but it didn’t really help. I was still afraid.
“The grief might have been holding the power at bay,” Axl suggested, sounding very unsure for him. “But that would be unusual … out of the ordinary. Usually strong emotions render our powers even more out of control. So…” He trailed off, clearly not having a clue.
“Where are Louis and Princeps Jones?” I asked, hoping one of them might have an answer. Axl was the supe I turned to first, but when he was stumped, that left only a couple of other options. “I can’t just be wandering around here all free and shit. I’m going to blow up the school.”
“Not to mention…” Calen indicated the final jags of lightning across my skin, the power fading thankfully, but still there. “You probably want to get that checked out.”
Righhhttt. The thing that k—
Nope. Not going there. My fragile brain could only handle so much grief, and I was tapped out. I needed to rehydrate my tear ducts before I started to think about the gaping fucking hole in my chest.
A loud banging on the front door startled me. Jesse’s head shot around so he was facing that direction, his nose lifted slightly as he sniffed out the visitor. We didn’t have a lot of supes at our house; it was off limits to ninety-nine percent of the students and teachers at the school.
“Ilia,” Jesse said a second later, his posture relaxing.
“I’ll go let her in,” Calen said casually. However, by the time he was at the pool fence, my best friend was already on the deck at the back of their house. I blinked as she flew down the stairs, having no idea how she’d managed to get herself into the locked house.
Magic, no doubt.
“Maddi!” she cried, practically throwing herself at me, wrapping her long, slender arms tightly around my neck.
The hot pressure in my chest started to swell again, and I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, hoping that would stem the tears. I could have sworn there were no more left inside me to cry, but somehow they kept falling.
“I’ve been so fucking worried about you,” Ilia said as she pulled back.
Calen snorted. “I wouldn’t stop worrying yet. She just lost her soul mate.”
My gasp was audible. It would have hurt less if he’d just punched me in the chest. Jesse’s growls filled the early morning air. Rone even had his fangs out as they glared at Calen. The wizard shook his head, eyes falling. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Mads. I just … I’m a screw-up.”
I shook my head, needing to comfort him even through my own grief. “No, no. It’s okay. Apparently the truth hurts. Who would have thought it?”
Axl opened his mouth, clearing his throat to no doubt tell us how many people had used that phrase before, but a subtle shake of the head from Jesse stopped our resident genius.
Ilia drew my attention back to her when she also cleared her throat. It wasn’t like her to make such a nervous gesture, and I was immediately worried about what she was going to say. “Princeps Jones is on his way over here,” she said, voice low and steady. “He has some news for you. He sent me ahead to make sure you were conscious and able to hear it.”
I nodded, hoping she would continue.
“What’s the damn news?” Rone snarled, out of patience.
; She took a deep breath. “Atlantis is rising again. The tip has just surfaced. We’re all called to head out to the site and wait for the final emergence.”
I blinked. “It’s rising again? When did that start?”
She bit her lips, working her plump red bottom lip through her teeth.
“It started the moment Asher exploded,” she finally choked out. “I’m not sure how it’s connected, but Asher’s death was clearly the catalyst needed to push past that final block.”
Holy fucking gods.
How was that possible? What did it mean? Had Asher been the target of the attack after all?
Or was it supposed to be me dead now, my power used to bring about the rise of Atlantis?
17
Before I could voice the horrors running through my head, there was another bang on the front door. “Princeps Jones,” Ilia said, straightening to her six-foot height. “He did say he was only giving me a few minutes’ head start.”
Shit. If Atlantis was rising again, that meant I had to go there. I’d promised Connor I would be there to help it rise.
But that was before…
Before…
Fuck!
There was no time to hide or anything, so I sucked in a deep breath and waited. A hand snaked down and grabbed mine. I didn’t have to look to know it was Jesse. His energy was almost as familiar to me as my own.
It made me feel marginally better to know that I wouldn’t be dealing with whatever was coming my way alone. Meeting Asher was still the best thing that happened to me. Losing him would always be the worst thing. But knowing that I’d made lifelong friends in the other Atlanteans—it might just be the only thing that got me through however long this mourning period would last.
The rest of my life, I was guessing.
Sucking in deep breaths, I worked to keep myself calm. Princeps Jones was here for a reason. The last thing he needed was the sobbing hysterical mess trying to burst from me.
So I kept it together as he crossed the porch and came down the steps. “Maddi,” he said softly, halting right before me. His blue eyes regarded me with soft sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”
I hated that look. That look meant that people were feeling sorry for me. Of course, since I was busy feeling sorry for myself, I couldn’t really muster up any anger.
“What news do you have about Atlantis?” I asked in that husky voice that might be permanent at this stage. “And is Louis nearby? I seem to have lost my necklace.”
Princeps Jones looked sheepish all of a sudden. “Yes, so first thing … Louis is at the Atlantis site, but he did leave me with a message to deliver, and if he wasn’t so damn powerful I’d be kicking his ass about now.”
Annoyed anger wiped away some of my pain, and I latched on to it, feeding into the emotion because it was helping me focus on anything other than Asher.
“What message?” I bit out.
I’d never seen Princeps Jones look flustered. He was seriously the one supe who remained cool under all situations. But I could have sworn he was thrown by whatever message he was supposed to deliver.
“Turns out…” he started, clearing his throat, “turns out that Louis’s necklace was not magical at all.”
I blinked at him. Say what the fuck now?
“Excuse me?” I spluttered out. “Of course it was. It kept my power under control.”
Princeps Jones shook his head. “That’s the thing, it didn’t. Louis just gave you a normal tourist pendant that he picked up from somewhere. He spelled it so that there was a bit of tingling energy inside when it rested against your skin, but there was not a single thing about that pendant that would have helped you control your energy.”
“Son of a bitch,” I muttered, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. “Then how did I get that shit under control? Because one minute I was blowing up lightbulbs and the next I was living a relatively normal life.”
Minus a few stray incidents like that whole “bring the ocean to the Academy” thing.
“The placebo effect,” Axl whispered.
I swung to him. “The what?”
He shook his head, brow furrowed. “It’s not exactly correct, because that more refers to medical situations in the human world, but for the most part, the necklace worked because you believed it was working, and in doing so, you controlled your own power. Something you were capable of all along.”
Oh. I sort of understood what he was saying. “So by Louis telling me that the necklace was controlling my powers, my brain somehow figured it was safe to relax, and by doing so actually began controlling my powers, all the while believing the necklace was doing it?”
Calen rubbed his head and groaned. “That’s fucking confusing. Let’s just all be grateful Maddi didn’t blow anyone up, and that she’s a badass who learned to control her power without any need of outside training.”
I wasn’t sure about the badass or the control thing, because my energy definitely still had its moments, but it was a relief to know I didn’t have to rely on a pendant to keep my shit contained. To keep my friends safe.
Princeps Jones nodded. “Yes. Moving on from that … it’s time for you all to head out to the Atlantis site. I cleared it with your teachers—they’re going to send coursework for your classes so that you don’t fall behind. This is not a holiday. It’s a part of your schooling as well. Learning about Atlantis.”
Everyone nodded. “I’m going too,” Ilia said, crossing her arms like she dared someone to argue with her.
Looking all warrior goddess with her red tank and skinny black jeans tucked into boots, I would not have argued.
“Yes, Ilia is relieved of all other duties until we know what we’re dealing with,” Princeps Jones, her boss, said.
I met his gaze. “What about Larissa?” I hated our best friend staying here while we were all gone. I was protective of the family I had left. Who knew what other threats were out there, waiting for us? We had the best chance by sticking together.
The princeps let out a long sigh. “She has informed me that she will be going whether I like it or not. And apparently none of my worries, including the very real threat of gods destroying everyone near or around the island, will sway her from that conviction.”
That sounded like my girl.
“We leave first thing tomorrow morning,” he said quickly, expression tense. “I’ll meet you at the front entrance.”
As we all nodded, he gave us all one last sad smile and then he left, the chill of his energy fading completely. The six of us remained where we were, silent, each thinking about what we were facing. I was still half stuck on the realization that maybe it was my energy that they’d been aiming to use to kickstart Atlantis again. That the sacrifice spoken about last year was supposed to be me. Instead Asher had taken the fall for me. Again.
FUCK!
The silent scream reverberated around my body and brain, shaking me with its intensity.
“I need to be alone,” I said abruptly.
Before they could protest or say anything, I took off into the house and changed into clothes—avoiding Asher’s room because the memories in there would actually drop me to my knees. I didn’t really think about where I was wandering, and when I found myself outside the water world, I choked on more painful memories.
As much as I wanted the healing water, I couldn’t go in there yet. It was too soon.
I wished the school was empty. People were everywhere, casting both sympathetic and fearful looks my way. I could only imagine what the rumor mill was saying about Asher…
I kept walking. I had to get away from the looks and people. I needed to find some sort of sanctuary that had few or no Asher memories. A building came into sight and I made a beeline for it, hoping it was exactly what I needed. Peace and quiet enveloped me as I stepped into the library and a small sliver of calm entered my body, allowing me to quiet the energy that wanted to rage.
I hadn’t spent much time here, and I’d never spent time with A
sher here, so this held only memories of Axl and peace. Both of which I could deal with. Instead of taking my normal seat in the center, I pushed back until I was in the deepest section of the library, not even caring that there were no tables here. I would sit on the floor once I found the most isolated part of the room.
I’d never been this far back, and I marveled at how dark and cool it got as I traversed further and further through the shelves, all packed with thick and enticing tomes. My fingertips dragged across spines, like I could absorb the information inside through nothing more than a touch. It was such an odd concept to know that I might live for eight hundred years and would have more than enough time to read everything in this building if I wanted to.
That was a thought that would have made me happy before I was staring down the barrel of eight hundred years without Asher. Never seeing his smile again, or those dimples that were too fucking sexy. Never hearing his laughter or teasing, as he sought to improve whatever bad mood he’d found me in.
In my entire life, I’d never met a person who got me like he did. Understood my need for the ocean, the water. He embraced my joys and fought my fears with me. I’d known him such a short amount of time, but already his impact on me was life changing.
The aching hole of sadness felt like it was drowning me. I couldn’t get my head above water; it kept sucking me deeper and deeper.
Focusing on anything other than Asher, I returned my attention and thoughts to the library, scanning the books, hoping I could find something to distract myself.
I would go toe to toe with anyone who argued books weren’t life savers. They were the work of whatever god kept us functional when the world seemed too hard to handle. They were the air when we couldn’t breathe. The blood when it wouldn’t pump in our veins. The beat of our heart when we were done trying to force life to go on.
Books saved lives. End of story, pun intended.
The chill in the air increased, as did the dimness of the lighting, but still the shelves continued. This was almost as bad as the ocean room. Mary Poppins was dropping her never-ending magic rooms all over the place at the Academy.
