by Jaymin Eve
The gods would be back soon, and we needed a plan of attack.
“Yes, but we’re only a call away,” Jessa reminded me. “Louis or Ty can get us back here in a second. Don’t hesitate to call us. Girl gang for life.”
She hugged me one last time, and Braxton shocked me when he did the same. He held on for a second longer than I expected, his voice low in my ear. “Stop fighting fate,” he murmured. “There’s no point in wasting time. No matter how long you think your life is, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Don’t waste any more time.”
My knees almost crumpled beneath me, his words hitting me hard and fast. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen Asher over the past few months. We’d hung out a ton of times, swum in the pool and ocean room together, and reformed a friendship that was both fun and simple. I’d been doing the same with the guys, rebuilding bonds, learning to trust them again.
I’d never stopped loving any of them, but the trust had been damaged, and it was so hard to get it back. The strain was possibly going to kill us all, but we’d found ourselves in this stupid fucking rut that we couldn’t seem to get out of.
Wasting time.
“I’ve got to go,” I blurted. “Promise you’ll visit again soon.”
Jessa looked to the sky. “A storm is coming,” she said, her tone strange. “We’ll see each other sooner than you think.”
I looked up too—the sky was clear and blue, for once the Academy weather not trying to screw us with four seasons in a day. I couldn’t tell if Jessa was talking about a literal storm or not, and before I could push her, she turned to go. They both waved as they disappeared behind some pillars.
Meanwhile, my heart was slamming against my chest, and a desperate need to see Asher was rising up inside of me.
“Maddison!”
Connor, as always, had horrific timing. I ignored him, rushing toward the Atlantean mansion. “Maddison, wait the fuck up!” he shouted, and my feet slowed, knowing he was not going to stop chasing after me.
“What?” I said angrily, spinning toward him. “What the fuck is it now? I already told you, I’m not going back to that freaking city. It’s still there. It’s still in stasis. There’s nothing in the waters. Maybe there never will be.”
If we were lucky, the gods would just stay away for eternity. They’d been gone most of the year now, and that was nothing short of damn good luck in my opinion.
“That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Connor said, his breathing harsh. “The stasis on Atlantis…” He broke off, and I fought the urge to strangle him.
“What?” I shouted, waving my hands in frustration. Just when I’d decided to stop being such a stubborn idiot, I had another idiot here to deal with.
His face creased into an expression I’d never seen from him before, and my heart all but stopped.
“I’m so sorry, Maddison. I hate being the one to always bring you bad news, but … the stasis … it just broke.”
I shook my head. “No … I mean … why now?”
How did the gods know? Was this fate trying to stop Asher and me again?
Oh, screw that. Screw it hard.
Connor pushed back his hair, hair that was longer and more unruly than when I first met him. There was actually a decent wave in it, and in normal circumstances—if I didn’t hate him—I’d feel happy that he seemed to have relaxed and lost some of his psycho behavior. But there would never be a normal circumstance with my “brother” and me.
“The gods must be back,” he said softly. “Whatever happened at the council gathering … we’re about to find out. Our parents will be coming for us.”
“They are not our fucking parents,” I all but screamed. “Stop saying that.”
Connor just shook his head like he felt sorry for me, and my entire body shook as I fought against beating his ass down. I was a good fighter now and I’d be thrilled to take my shot with this cocky asshole.
“Ignoring reality does not make it disappear,” he said, looking sad and far too wise. “All that happens is that you’re woefully underprepared for the reality when it hits.” He touched my arm and I was too stunned to shake him off. “It always hits, Maddi. That’s the truth.”
He was right. I’d spent most of this year working hard. In classes. During fight training. Learning how to heal with herbs. Learning dozens of more words in the fey language. I’d spent a lot of time in the library with Mab and the Atlantean books. But I’d been running and hiding as well. I’d deliberately not sought answers about the gods who might be my parents. I’d pretended they weren’t a real threat, hoping that maybe … just maybe … if I ignored them hard enough, they’d disappear and never bother us again.
“It’s—” My voice broke. “It’s just been so long. I didn’t think they’d actually return.”
Connor’s fear was hidden now behind his normal bravado. “It’s been less than a year. For a god, that’s like five minutes.”
Panicked, I grabbed his arm. “We have to figure out how to contain them,” I whispered. “They can’t be allowed to go free. Please tell me there’s a way?”
He stared down at me, sympathy blooming, and I realized that somehow in the past year, Connor and I had learned to like each other. Just a little. For a second, I pictured a world where I had grown up with a brother and family. With people who cared about me.
It was a nice world, but it would never be mine.
“Connor,” I snapped. “You might have wanted Atlantis to rise, but surely you understand how fucked up everything is going to get if the gods start interfering in the supe world?”
He shrugged, but he didn’t look as confident as usual. “They’ve always been here, Maddison. It’s just that usually, they’re not interested in what supes or humans are up to. There’s something about Atlantis that has always intrigued them though.”
That struck a chord with me, and I had the strangest sense that whatever was hidden in Atlantis might be something that could change the world. Permanently.
“If you care about me at all, Connor … if you consider me to be your sister, your family, then you will help me fight the gods. If you don’t…”
He sucked in a deep breath. “We’ll all die?”
I nodded.
“Fine,” Connor said with a sigh. “I will help you contain them. Only contain.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said waving at him. “I know, you bloody love your gods.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not that. There’s no known way to kill a full-powered god.”
Not good news to hear when we were about to take them on in battle. “But we can contain them?”
Connor screwed up his face before shrugging. “I think so. Not indefinitely, but for a short time. Enough time to see what Atlantis is hiding.”
Right. Then we could reassess.
“Alright, that’s a plan I can get behind. Where do we start?”
Connor paused. “Look, I don’t want to get your hopes up. I believe there is a book in the Atlantean library that will give us an idea of how to lock the gods down. But I don’t know for sure. I need access to the library.”
I snorted. “Yeah, sure, dude.” He blinked, and I laughed harder. “Never gonna happen. I don’t trust you. How about you tell me what information or book you need and I’ll get it.”
“I already know where it is, Maddison,” he said softly.
Fuck.
“You tried to go there?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but your fairy kicked me out.”
Yes! Go, Mab, you awesome fey queen.
“I need to get my guys first,” I said. I’d decided already that I had spent enough time holding them at arm’s length. I loved them all as much as ever, and slowly, the trust was returning. But it would never return fully if I didn’t risk myself again.
I was ready to take a risk. “We’re going to need their help.”
Connor didn’t disagree with me, but I saw the wariness on his face. “Okay, I’ll wait here for you.”
> Pulling out my phone, I sent a group text to everyone, including Ilia and Larissa. Can you meet me at the library? Right now.
Then I took a few grounding breaths, closed my eyes, and waited for my family to arrive.
42
I never looked at my phone after sending the text. I knew they’d come. Apparently I did trust them—it was mostly my anger I’d been holding on to. Over this last year, I’d been hurt so badly that at times I hadn’t been sure I’d survive it. Then, when I had survived, I’d strengthened the protection I held around myself. Around my heart and soul. I’d reached the point where I couldn’t figure out how to loosen it and let them in again.
Accepting that they had been trying to protect me was step one. Sure, the way they went about it was—as Ilia put it—dumb as fuck, but that didn’t change their intentions. We’d repaired a lot of our relationship, but there was a part of me that I never gave back to them. I never allowed my whole heart to be risked again.
Maybe I didn’t even have a whole damn heart anymore.
But I had enough to give it back to them, because if I couldn’t trust my family, then what the fuck was the point of anything?
Connor took my hand and I snapped out of my own head to find tears pouring down my cheeks. I hadn’t even noticed I was silently crying. Connor squeezed my hand once, then let me go just as five familiar, beautiful, perfect faces raced into view. They were literally running, trying to fit their broad shoulders between the stone archways where I was waiting.
“Maddison,” Jesse said, sounding panicked. “Are you okay?”
My text probably was a little brief and upsetting without context. I really shouldn’t have worried them like that.
Jesse wrapped his arms around me, hauling me up into his chest, and a sob rattled through me. I hadn’t hugged Jesse since they left me. And this hug felt really fucking good.
“Jess,” Calen said quickly. “Let her go, man. Like right the fuck now.”
I felt Jesse tense, and then I was slowly set on my feet. Asher was standing right there and his eyes were golden. The color blazed through me, destroying me, burning my soul to cinders, only to reform it again when he stepped closer.
Jesse, realizing he’d made a mistake in touching me first, held both hands up and backed away. Asher’s chest rumbled but he didn’t say anything. I took a tentative step closer.
“Ash,” I whispered, not sure if I was going to spook him into losing his shit. When someone as powerful as Asher lost his shit, lots of things got broken. He didn’t move. It was like the Germany bar incident, only I was almost certain he looked less contained today.
His eyes were locked on Jesse.
I had no idea what would distract him, but I had to try before he did something he’d really regret. Like killing his best friend. Of course, Jesse, being the cocky shit that he was, just grinned at Asher … wary but not scared.
“Asher!” I said, a little more snap in my voice.
He still didn’t look at me, and frankly I didn’t have time for this macho male bullshit. My power exploded out of me, drawing on the water in the air around us to encase Asher and me in a bubble of water magic. A bubble that was opaque, blocking us from view. His golden eyes slammed into mine.
“Listen up, big guy,” I said with a smirk, “you’re going to have to learn to control your temper, because right now you look like your mother, and I refuse to be in love with that psychopath statue.”
His face softened, and green appeared in his golden gaze. “That’s better,” I said, taking a step closer, the air thick with moisture in our little bubble. “We have a situation, Ash,” I told him when I was only a few feet away. “Atlantis’s stasis has lifted, and that can only mean one thing—”
“The gods have returned.”
I nodded. “Yep. And Connor promised to help us—he might know a way to contain them. Buy us some more time.”
“We’re not strong enough to beat them, Maddison.” More green in his gaze, more clarity in his words.
I touched him, one hand firmly against his chest. His hooded gaze lazily traced across that hand and back up to my face. “We can do it together, Ash,” I whispered, needing to take that final step toward trust and forgiveness.
Asher’s head dropped as his eyes closed tightly; we remained like that for many seconds. When he finally lifted his head, my chest hurt at the perfect clear green of his eyes. I almost couldn’t detect any gold at all, and that was the first time in a long time.
“I’ve missed you,” he said hoarsely, and I tried to answer, but I couldn’t make the words happen.
“I’ve missed you,” I finally said. I’ve died a million deaths since you were taken from me.
As if Asher heard those words, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly into his body. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know that I will never stop working toward the moment you trust me again. If you need more space, I’ll give it to you. But I’m never going away.”
I snuggled even closer, needing more. “No more space,” I said into his chest. “I trust you.”
He pulled back and I briefly mourned the loss. “You don’t,” he started softly. “Not completely … but you will.”
It was time to take that first step forward. “I found the library,” I told him.
He smiled down at me, not at all surprised. “I know. I’ve followed you there multiple times, but I never went inside.”
I was blinking and thinking and trying to figure out how I felt about that. “You followed me?”
He pushed some hair back from my face. “You’re my soul, Maddison James. I’m not letting you wander around unprotected.”
My eyebrows creased as I nailed him with a glare. His smile grew, turning into laughter. “I know you can take care of yourself, but it gives me peace of mind to know I have your back.”
It gave me peace of mind too.
I smacked him on the shoulder. “You let me believe you didn’t know where it was!”
Asher shrugged, still smiling. “I wanted you to tell me. The moment you did, I knew we were on the right path back to trust. To everything.”
The heat grew between us, and even though I knew the others were outside of my water barrier waiting for us, I couldn’t waste this alone opportunity with Asher. He moved closer and I let out one small breath of anticipation as his lips touched mine. We had kissed since he’d returned, mostly kisses of lust and anger and fear. But this kiss, the soft touch that grew deeper as his tongue stroked mine, was one of pure love.
Someone banged on my barrier, but neither of us stopped kissing. I wasn’t sure we could.
“They’re not going to stop,” he murmured against my lips, and I sighed.
“I know. We really should go anyway. I have no idea how long until the gods attack. We need to find this information and get back to Atlantis.”
Asher nodded, and I took one more second to watch him closely. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? With Galindra?”
His chuckle was dark. “I’ve wanted to kill her from the first moment I opened my eyes. That’s my end game. I know there is a way, I just need the time to find it.” His gaze was hot, consuming. “I won’t let her touch you. I don’t care now what I have to do. I won’t let anything come between us again.”
I could tell that he meant it. But that didn’t stop the fear in my gut.
With a sigh, I let the magical water barrier collapse, sending all the liquid back to wherever I got it from.
Ilia was the only one waiting on the other side. “About freaking time,” she said with a knowing grin. “Let me guess … you were playing chess?”
“Scrabble, actually,” I said with a smile. “I kicked his ass.”
Asher muttered something, but he was smiling. “Did Connor tell the others what’s going on?”
Ilia nodded. “Yep. They’re heading into the library now. I was
waiting here to make sure you two didn’t run off to make babies.”
“Scrabble,” I muttered. “I said Scrabble.”
Ilia’s grin was broad as amusement danced in her gaze. “Right.”
Spinning on my heel, I started toward the library, not pausing or looking back. But I felt Asher right there with me, his energy as familiar to me as my own, and I couldn’t stop that trembling happiness that was starting to blast through the darkness I’d been living with for so long.
Could I truly do this? Was I going to get my life back … every single part of it?
Ilia caught me, threading her arms through mine and pulling me closer. Asher’s heat was right at my back, and there was no way she could whisper without him hearing, but she didn’t care.
“Details.” Her voice was low at my ear. “I need all the freaking details.”
Shaking my head, I glared at her before my expression softened into one of love. “Thank you,” I mouthed, so only she could see. She just squeezed my arm harder.
The last year had weakened my bonds with a lot of the people I loved. But two of them, Ilia and Larissa—our bond had never been stronger. “I love you,” she said, dropping her head to my shoulder, and I tried really hard not to think of this as our goodbye confessions.
I knew we were entering the final phase of this battle, but that didn’t mean we would lose.
No way. I was not losing to power-hungry gods. Never gonna happen.
43
“There’s one book that might contain this information,” Connor explained, standing in the center of the round room, looking serious and maybe a little nervous.
I didn’t blame him. Asher had been eyeballing the fuck out of him since we arrived—there was no love lost between those two. Asher was probably never going to let the shit Connor had done go—kidnapping me, getting me killed, orchestrating this entire fucking thing that brought the gods back.
I didn’t blame Asher for his animosity. I would probably never trust Connor—brother or not—but right now we needed to work together.
