Sitting back on the edge of her bed, closer now, he took both of her shoulders in his hands and rubbed them slowly. "I'm sorry," he said, watching her wide hazel eyes look back at him with confusion. "I'm a guy, and I know how we think. You would think it would change going from high school to college, but God, it doesn't. It somehow only gets worse. The things I hear guys say, the things I hear them plan on doing with these girls. Girls that are only a year or so older than you. It's…maddening sometimes when I know they wouldn't hesitate to think or do those things to you, Jade."
Gideon sat very still as she pulled away from his grasp only to lean her face against his chest. Closing his eyes, he held back the deep groan of satisfaction buried deep in his chest. His arms twitched with the need to wrap them around her and hold her to him tighter, but he resisted.
"Well, lucky for me, you’re there to stop them, right?" she asked with a tired playfulness to her voice.
Relieved, he breathed deeply. "You're goddamn right."
Letting one hand rest on her warm back, he began to rub it up and down, fighting with himself over the next question at the tip of his tongue. He didn't want this moment to end, but he needed to ask.
"Do you plan on seeing him again?" he asked, his words taut and strained.
Shaking her head against his chest, she buried her face deeper as she answered, muffling her words. "No, I don't think so."
Gideon could hear the guilt in her tone and pushed at her shoulders gently until he could get a good look at her face. Nervously, her eyes darted away from his.
He gave her a silent, questioning look. He was more than curious to know why, but at the same time, he was so relieved he could flop backward onto the bed with a giant sigh and just fall asleep happy.
"I know it's probably just me," she began. "But it’s just too stressful to think of doing it all over again another night. I was so tense tonight, it was like I could never relax. I kept wondering if I was talking enough, did I look happy, or did I even look pretty. I saw other girls on dates wearing dresses, but when I got dressed, I thought I should be comfortable and—"
"You looked good," he said, cutting her off. "Too good actually, so take that off your list of doubts."
Jade smiled at him, appreciatively. Finding his hand on the bed, she covered it with her own and gave it a squeeze before sighing.
"I'm just too tired. I don't think I'm cut out for dating," she confessed.
Praise Jesus, he thought.
"You're just not cut out for dating that boy," he said even though everything inside of Gideon wanted to just leave it at that. Never dating again, great, what more could he ask for? But he knew he needed to correct her thinking. He couldn't, even for a second, let her think it was her fault. "You definitely shouldn't feel tired or relieved that the date is over. That's the universal sign that it was not a good date."
Jade shook her head. "But it was good," she stressed, "or at least it should've been. He was very nice and made me laugh, but..."
Gideon didn't want to hear about some kid making her laugh. It felt like walking over hot coals at just the thought of her enjoying herself with some high school boy.
Another thought stilled him, stopping the very blood in his veins for the second time that night. Not trusting himself, he let go of her shoulders and schooled his features.
With a held breath, he somehow managed to ask. "Did he try to kiss you?"
Seconds passed between them like licks of a flame slowly burning him at the stake. His heart slowed as he watched her gaze drop to her hands on her lap.
"Yes," she answered softly.
Please just kill him now, God. Kill this fucking kid where he slept.
Gideon’s voice felt raspier as he struggled to form the words. "But you didn't—"
"I wanted to see what it was like," Jade rushed to explain, still not meeting his gaze fully.
Hundreds of emotions began to drown him from the inside out. He wanted to grab and shake her, to yell and rage at her for allowing some fucking stranger to put his lips on hers. Did the piece of shit pull her close when he kissed her? Did he run his fingers through her soft curls and cradle her head as he worked his mouth over hers? Did he press his arousal against her letting her know just exactly how she made him feel? Gideon blinked. It felt as if his world was spinning out of control.
"Are you mad?" she asked, the fearful hesitation in her voice plain to hear.
Mad could never begin to express what he was feeling. "Did you enjoy it?" Gideon’s voice sounded rough as if he just swallowed salt-rock.
Why was he asking this? Was he some sort of sick fuck who enjoyed punishment?
"It was…" she paused, and Gideon felt his very soul hang on the edge of her words. "Disappointing,” she said finally. "I thought it would be different." And this time, she did look up at him, her eyes seeking his out, holding him firmly in her searching gaze. "Tell me, how should it feel?" she asked in a voice so small, so naïve that Gideon felt the mortal wound he had been dealt begin to heal.
Reaching for her, he ignored the seemingly ever-present thoughts of censure. He allowed his fingers to enjoy the softness of her upper arms as he pulled her into his chest. Breathing deeply, he simply enjoyed the feel of her cuddling close as he breathed in the clean scent of her hair.
"A kiss from someone you like…someone you love, should never feel disappointing," he spoke, and he could feel the depth of his own voice vibrate through her as she wound her arms around his waist. "A kiss should feel consuming, like being swallowed by fire and wanting more."
Jade said nothing. He could feel her flinch at the words before relaxing again against him as if she had something to say but thought against it. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms for a few more moments before he kissed the top of her head. Letting go, he stood up from her bed.
Cupping the side of her face, Gideon looked down at her. The shadowy darkness of the room settled softly on her skin, inviting him to simply follow his desire and lay down with her in the bed, holding her as she slept. "Do me a favor," he whispered. "Don't go out with anyone else unless you really like them. No more dates out of curiosity please, I don't think my heart can take it."
An unnamed glimmer passed through her eyes as she covered his hands, framing her face with her own. "Will you make the same promise to me?"
Gideon let his thumbs rub against her temples as he gave her a knowing look. "I can easily make that promise," he said with a grin. "I won't go out with another girl unless I really, really like her," he proclaimed. "Deal?"
Jade nodded, and he didn't miss the hopeful look on her face. Leaning down, he placed another kiss, this time on her forehead, and turned around quickly. He could feel the years of carefully built control fading fast at the sight of her tucked within her messy sheets, looking up to him with soft sleepy eyes. Climbing out of the window, he made his way back to his room, his heart lighter than it was when he arrived, and his mind filled with stolen images to aid his dreams.
Chapter 5
"Oh wow," she exclaimed hesitantly as she held up the briefcase shaped box.
Sitting on the back balcony by the pool at her best friend's house, Jade gave a tremulous smile to Taylor in response to his gift. The black case was covered in a cardboard wrapping that advertised all one hundred and fifty items for surviving a zombie apocalypse. Leaning over Jade's shoulder, Ebony read the contents with a bemused expression. Everything from a tactical hatchet, fire starter, waterless toothpaste tablets, paracord, fishing line, a few knives, and even something called shower-in-a-bottle.
"And just why exactly would Jade want this?" Ebony asked as she leaned back on the pool lounger, causing her shirt to rise and expose the defined muscles of her abs.
A five-time national Taekwondo champion, Ebony Rosebank was the strongest, most beautiful girl at Stardust Cove high school. Practically friends since she and Gideon moved in with the Lattimores, Jade had liked the other girl at first sight.
"Because
she doesn't want to be caught unprepared," Taylor explained as if the very question was preposterous.
"Unprepared for what exactly?" Ebony asked, purposely provoking Taylor.
"For the ice caps to melt and the world to flood, or for some secret radical Chinese bio-terrorist group to accidentally release a pandemic that spreads worldwide turning us all into zombies, or the solar flares to—"
Ebony held up a hand. "Ok, I get it," she rolled her eyes as she stood up. "The world is going to end, and this is her chance for survival."
"Exactly," Taylor nodded, satisfied she saw the light.
Holding back a laugh, Jade smiled sweetly to Taylor. "Thank you so much, I am sure Gideon will be more than thrilled with helping me use all of this stuff."
Taylor was opening his mouth to reply when Ebony stood up and walked over to the outdoor kitchen area and pulled something from behind the counter. "Now, my turn," she announced.
Setting the purple and black gift bag down in front of Jade, Ebony dragged an extra pool lounger closer and sat down, crossing her legs. Dressed in shorts, a bikini top, and a loose crop top shirt over it, Ebony reminded Jade of a model.
"It's clothes again, isn't it?" Taylor groaned, already bored.
"Hey," Ebony glared at him. "I didn't ruin your whack gift, did I?"
"Yeah but, you get her clothes every year for every holiday," Taylor whined as he got up from the concrete he was sitting on to go sit on the other end of Jade's lounger.
"Well, that's what happens when your best friends are girls," Ebony retorted.
Taylor shrugged with a grin as if to say fair point. Having been friends with them since Junior High, Taylor should have been well accustomed to their routines by now. Growing up with four sisters, Jade and Ebony always assumed Taylor was simply more accustomed to being around girls than he was guys. Naturally kind and gentle, they had easily accepted him that day years ago when he boldly walked right up to the both of them in the lunchroom and simply sat down next to them.
Jade laughed as she began digging out the new clothes from the bag. If it wasn't for Ebony, Jade would never have anything stylish to wear. Every time Jade even considered shopping for herself, she became overwhelmed. There were just too many factors to consider: trends, styles, what went with what, cost, and more importantly, what would look good on her? But Ebony seemed to know just what suited her friend's baby face and figure. With Ebony's help through video-call, she had guided Jade on just what to wear and how to do her makeup on the night of her date, leaving Jade feeling confident about her looks for the first time in a while. Every time Jade thought of that night, she couldn’t help but think of Gideon's widening eyes taking in her form. Any doubts she may have had vanished under his stare.
Pulling out a pair of skinny black jeans, Jade let her fingers glide over the stylish frayed edges of the intended rips down the front. Ebony had worn a pair of pants like this a while back, she must have seen Jade staring at them longingly.
Putting the clothes carefully back into the back, she opened her arms and leaned forward, hugging Ebony close. "Thank you, they're amazing."
"Hey!" Taylor cried while giving her a forlorn look.
Both girls laughed and separated before enveloping Taylor into their hug. His lanky, muscular arms surrounded both of them, easily crushing them against his narrow frame.
After talking and hanging out by the pool for a few more hours, Jade finally got up to head home after checking her watch. Saying bye to Taylor, who left in a hurry to start his shift at his dad's hardware store, Jade and Ebony stood on the grand steps of the large mansion. Rich as Croesus, Ebony's stepfather was one of the wealthiest men in Texas and practically owned Stardust Cove. Even though she had been over the large house more than a couple dozen times over the years, Jade could never stop being impressed with the beauty of the gigantic house.
"So, is your mom going to teach you how to make your own cake again this year?"
Jade didn’t miss the snide tone in Ebony's voice as she asked the loaded question and sighed. "You're just as bad as Gideon. You know that, right?"
"Well, someone has to remind you," Ebony mumbled as she balanced on her toes on the edge of the marble steps, pushing her body up and down. "That woman is infuriatingly lazy and manipulative."
Jade pressed her lips together, not saying anything as she turned to look down the private drive. Last night Sandra announced she was going to teach Jade how to make a double layer orange cream cake. Instructing her in making a cake was something she did every year for Jade's birthday, and while others found it odd, especially Gideon, Jade didn't mind it as much as she probably should.
"Well, have fun," Ebony said gentler now, reading Jade's closed expression perfectly. "And happy birthday."
Saying goodbye, Jade started on the long walk back to her house, something that was secretly one of Jade's favorite routines. The long stretch of empty road was peaceful, almost meditative. Her house and Ebony's house were located on the eastern edge of town, along with a handful of others who chose the deep rural surroundings versus the tight cluster Stardust Cove offered. Walking along the edge of the road along the grass border, she looked out at the swath of green fields to her right and the thickets of mesquite trees. All of the land belonged to the Rosebanks’ until it hit the narrow river, then it turned into the Lattimores’ conservative bit of acreage. Taking a deep breath, Jade pulled in the warm Texas air and enjoyed the earthy, green scent of the trees.
The familiar scent brought back memories of her and Gideon walking down this road when they were younger. Having been let loose by Henry, he told them with a smile as he leaned on the open hood of his truck that they were free to explore the city and the woods around them as much as they wanted, and all he required for them was to stick together and be back home before dark. Just thinking about it, Jade could feel the stinging of moisture behind her eyes as she smiled at the memory.
She and Gideon had looked at each other in stunned silence that day before turning back to give the same disbelieving stare to Henry's laughing face. Assuring them he meant what he said, he gently steered them down the drive and beyond the open metal pasture gate of their property. On that first day, neither she nor Gideon wanted to go very far. Sticking to the shallow creek bed that bordered their property, they came right back within a few hours. But day after day, Henry urged the two kids who had only ever known the inner workings of larger cities to explore their new rural surroundings and slowly take to it. It didn't take long, either. Within a month, Gideon was leading her through fields, over downed trees, down to the beach, down lonely farm-to-market roads like he had been born there and not somewhere in the dregs of Houston like herself.
Shamelessly exploring the land around them was how they meet Ebony and her brother Gavin. Bursting through the tree line, she and Gideon froze when they realized at that moment, they were suddenly standing in someone's backyard. With her curly hair framing her head like a lion's majestic mane, Ebony had paused mid-swing on her swing set and stared back at them just as stunned. Being the ever-responsible person he was, Gideon had marched around the gigantic mansion and directly to the front door and rang the doorbell. Not at all scared of the towering man who answered the door, Gideon had asked very politely, if not a little sternly, if his sister could play with the man's little girl. Jade could still remember Mr. Rosebank's slow spreading smirk as he sized up the boy and her younger self hiding behind Gideon's back. With a nod, he had led them through the beautiful house and to the back while calling for his son from downstairs. The Rosebanks were the first people they met in Stardust Cove and, to this day, were still their closest friends.
Reaching the end of the road, Jade could see the open gate to her driveway up ahead. A memory of Gideon walking in this very spot leading her back from Ebony's house flashed in her mind. She could still see his narrow shoulders and unruly wavy hair blowing in the breeze. Sandra used to laugh and say Gideon was like a mother duck leading its duckling around the tow
n. So much has changed since then, she thought. No longer the skinny little boy protectively escorting his sister back from her playdate, they were both grown up now. The image in Jade's mind changed, and she could imagine Gideon walking alongside her now instead of in front like he used to do. Now, he would just saunter next to her, most likely with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets as he grinned down at her and teased her about something or another. His skinny frame had, at some point grew into a man with wide, strong shoulders and matching broad chest. Molded by hours and hours of intense physical training for his sport, Gideon was no longer her brother to possess and hold onto. He was an attractive young man living in his golden college years surrounded by opportunity and attractive young women, Jade thought sourly. It was time for her to let him go—and she hated it.
Jade hated change. Rarely did anything good come from change, in her opinion. She missed the days when they were younger, where the summer days were hot and long, and all she ever had to think of was getting up and meeting Gideon at the breakfast table so he could tell her what adventure was in store for them that day. But those days were long gone, and now everything was different. Gideon was in college, and in a few years, he would graduate with his business degree, and though he never mentioned what his plans were beyond that, Jade could only close her eyes and swallow the lump of dread in her throat. Leaving Stardust Cove was inevitable, everyone knew that. While most people always eventually came back at one point in their life, never able to resist the pull of the idyllic little sea-side town, she wasn't certain she could survive, wondering if Gideon would or not.
A Love So Wrong: A Forbidden Romance Page 5
