"Jade sweetheart, love of my life, apple of my fucking eye," his voice rasped thickly, "we can't play games anymore. We can't do this whole ‘you don't realize how beautiful you are’ game anymore," he said, waving a hand up and down at her. His tone and his expression were tired as if they had been arguing this for hours and not just for the past minute.
Highly confused, she shook her head. "Wha…"
Annoyed, he put his fists on his hips and stared out the front window of the cab before looking back to her. "You’re beautiful, ok," he admitted, frustration coating his words. "And to guys, it doesn't matter if your outfit doesn't match or if you necessarily don't feel beautiful in it, the fact of the matter is that your amazing legs are exposed, and your nipples are pressing against the fabric of that thin ass windbreaker. So please, consider the fact that if you drive regular guys insane, just what the fuck are you doing to these lonely truckers when they see you traipsing around dressed like that. It's like throwing a steak to a bunch of starving wolves," he pointed a finger towards the window to the constant activity of trucks beyond.
If he was waiting for an answer, he would not get one from her. His shocking words were still ringing through her head. It felt as if she had been momentarily electrified.
Reaching for the driver's door handle, he paused with his back to her. "I need you to be a little bit more self-aware, Jade, if not for your sake, then mine. I swear, you're going to get me sent to fucking prison," he muttered before pushing open the heavy door. "Now wait here while I go put the fear of God in our pal Felix."
Standing there, frozen in place, Jade could feel the minutes tick by as her mind finally allowed his words to sink in. Her amazing legs, her nipples—she couldn’t believe Gideon said those things. Feeling overly flushed, she turned and rummaged through their shared clothing closet and found a pair of his sweats and a shirt. Pulling them both on, over her clothes, and grabbing her thicker jacket, she tried to ignore the giddy smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.
Changed, she exited the truck and stomped back to the front gate. Gideon, Toby, Felix, and now Jason stood at the front, rehashing the situation. She could tell immediately the previous volatile hostility was no longer there, but Felix was also standing out to the side looking like a kicked dog while Gideon stood with his arms crossed speaking angrily to the other two men, occasionally giving Felix furious looks.
Gideon spotted her first, and his slow forming smile only made that annoying giddy feeling within her surge higher. Dressed like a vagabond, the oversized pants she had to cinch tight around her waist practically melted down her legs and folded over her sneakers while the purloined t-shirt swallowed her frame and billowed in the wind like a sail from beneath her jacket.
Trudging past the group, she shot Gideon a narrowed eyed glare. "Happy now?" she growled.
With an evil smile, Gideon lifted his head in triumph. "Thank you, was that too much to ask?"
~*~
Routine was something Gideon had once thought he would never enjoy, never seek out. When teachers would ask him in school what he wanted to be when he grew up, he always answered with something exciting: a soldier, a fireman, a police officer, anything that would keep him from having to experience the mind-numbing repetition of daily life. That was, of course, before his mother decided to give him a first-hand lesson on constant change by abandoning him at his aging great-grandmother's house. And when his grandmother decided she didn't want him either, she forfeited him to the state. From there, his life was a constant upheaval, never knowing what the next day was going to be like, never knowing if the bed you slept in one night would be the bed you slept in the next night. It wasn't until he was adopted by the Lattimores that Gideon realized he craved routine. Give him monotony any day over insecurity. Give him day in and day out of knowing what to expect, knowing he would wake up to a smile that strengthened his very soul. Give him warm radiating love that looked at you as if you were the second coming of Jesus. Give him Jade.
Together their routine became perfect. In the tight quarters of their living space, it became like a perfectly choreographed dance. She always woke first, silently moving around the cabin giving him the extra few minutes of sleep he needed. Cracking his eyelids at just the right time, Gideon allowed himself to watch as she slipped on a pair of sweatpants over her pajama shorts. After a few minutes, he would push himself up from his bunk and stretch, feeling her hazel gaze on him as he lifted his arms overhead and touched the ceiling.
Together each morning, they made their way across the parking lot of either the rest stop or truck stop they parked at the night before. Separating, they both used the bathroom and washed up before meeting back at the truck. Sometimes Gideon felt sorry for the other men who watched them walk back together to their truck. He knew those men wouldn't be getting a cooked breakfast, nor did they have the luxury of having someone to talk to during their long hauls.
It made him think of Toby. Gideon wasn't blind, he saw the way the older man looked at Jade. Gideon could see the man's jealousy and desire culminate whenever she flashed the poor bastard a kind smile. Just like everyone else graced with her smile, they saw the gentle kindness in her that invoked the urge in a man to protect and shelter her. Gideon knew all too well the flare of intrigue that manifested when witnessing those hazel eyes of hers narrow with shrewd intellect. The blood rush was hard to ignore at the sight of her clean, soft, beckoning skin, and Gideon could truly understand what men like Toby endured.
But every time the kernel of empathy tried to take root, Gideon undoubtedly caught the glance of another man's gaze linger on the girl next to him just a little too long, consequently destroying any trace of sympathy within him and always led to one conclusion—fuck them. He hoped they died a lonely death choking on microwave meals.
~*~
Resting back in his seat, Gideon stretched his arms over his head as he did a full-body stretch. Ahead of them, the bright red tail lights of another truck shined into their cab, covering the interior with a warm red Christmas-like glow. Every few minutes or so, the long line of trucks ahead of them would move through the weigh station, taking the ramp back out onto the interstate, allowing the truck behind to pull up and repeat the process.
Standing at the small kitchenette counter directly behind the driver's chair, Jade opened her instant pot and ladled out some of the rich, creamy brown liquid into two silver travel mugs. Sealing the pot once more, she opened the cabinet above her and fished out the small bag of marshmallows, and dunked a few into each cup. It was cold in South Dakota, even with the heat on, she could feel the tendrils of cold creeping off the glass of the passenger door.
Sitting down in her chair, Jade handed Gideon a mug. Wrapping his hand around the mug, his fingers brushed against hers before slowly pulling the container away from her.
"Thanks, sweetheart," his eyelids were heavy as he looked to her, and she could tell he was getting tired.
Pulling up her sock-clad feet onto the seat until her knees were at her chest, Jade took a sip of her hot chocolate. It was deliciously hot and warmed her chest. "Are we going to stop at the next rest area or try to make it to the big truck stop?"
Leaning back in his seat again, Gideon just groaned deeply in reply as he sipped his drink. Jade hid a smile against the round of her knee, he would probably stop at the rest area, he was too tired to go any further. Looking at his tired profile, her heart went out to him. He was doing so much for them. Driving, working on his online college courses and still making sure to hit the gym every time they passed one. Earlier that day, he spent three hours in the gym, lifting weights and using the treadmill while she swam in the pool and mostly lounged in the hot tub. Dropping her gaze from his tired expression, she let it drift past the firm rise of his chest and down to his thumb hooked into the waistband of his comfy sweatpants. Pulling the soft material down some, the position revealed the taut skin of his lower stomach and the sprinkle of dark hair that trailed deeper out of sight. Abruptl
y she jerked her gaze away and looked out the window ahead of them, searching for another subject to distract her thoughts and, more importantly, her wandering eye. Staring into the red lights ahead of them, she smiled at the sudden random memory.
"Remember that time dad asked us what we wanted for Christmas, and we both said a dog?"
Taking the truck out of park, Gideon flashed her a smile as he pulled the truck forward a few feet and stopped it again. "Oh yeah, I remember," he said with a laugh, looking directly at her.
His amber-brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the dim lighting in their cab, and it made Jade's breath catch in her throat. For the briefest second, it felt as if he was looking right through her, staring at the secret she kept buried deep in her heart that even she was too afraid to acknowledge.
"Yeah, I remember asking and mom freaking out," he continued, unaware of Jade releasing a breath she didn’t even know she had been holding. "She claimed she didn’t like dogs and after pleading with dad who had really liked the idea of getting one, finally got him to back off the idea. You know she grew up with dogs, right?"
Remembering the photo album tucked in the cubby of the coffee table, she nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. I remember seeing photos of her with some from when she was younger."
Draining the last of the hot chocolate from his mug, he got up. "You want some more?" he gestured for her cup, but she shook her head. "You know, I always thought," he began as he scooped some of the hot liquid into his cup. "That mom just couldn't stand having the attention taken off of her and onto a puppy. I think she just wants everyone to dote solely on her."
She thought about that for a moment. "I hate to think it, but you may be right." With only the low hum of the radio playing just underneath their silence, Jade turned her head back to Gideon, resting her cheek on her knees. Remembering the promise she made to herself to be more open and honest, she made a confession. "I want to move back to Stardust Cove whenever we get the chance," her heart tightened at the jolt Gideon made in her seat, and she rushed to continue. "I want to save enough money, and I want to go back, Gideon. I loved that place, and I loved our house. I want to find one like it or find any house we love and can afford there. Does that sound crazy?"
Setting down his mug on the large curving dashboard that sat around his seat more like a spaceship control panel than a truck, Gideon looked at her, and the tightness in her heart doubled. Was he mad?
"My God, I feel the same way," he exhaled.
Sitting upright in her seat, Jade felt herself sag in relief as she smiled happily back. "You too? When-"
"Oh, hell yeah," Gideon said, more excited now. Since the truck was on, he couldn't switch the lever in his seat that allowed it to turn sideways like hers could, so he lifted the armrest instead and sat to the side, leaning his forearms on both knees. "I have been thinking about it pretty much since we have left, but I wasn't sure…I mean hell, I wasn't sure how to even say it."
She wanted to jump up and hug him, but Jade refrained. Smiling brightly, she leaned back in her seat and let the possibilities go round in her head. That means they needed to start being even more frugal with their money. And they needed to start looking at houses that were available in Stardust Cove. Would they want the house to be as big as the one they grew up in? Just as fast as the questions were forming, they suddenly stopped at an alarming thought.
Watching her, Gideon could see the light dim in her gaze, and he gave her a questioning frown. "What?" leaning forward, he grabbed her hand and held it. "What is it?"
She wanted to pull her hand back. The new question in her head made her words clam back up in her throat like old times. Looking at his worried expression, Jade forced herself to ask the words hoping that the fake smile she put on hid the pain.
"But what if you get a wife," she whispered. "Or if I get a husband, what happens to the house then? We can't all just live together." Because she would hate whoever Gideon picked, Jade could admit that to herself now.
She used to tell herself that she would try to like whoever he picked and hoped that they would like her too, and maybe they could be friends even. But she couldn’t do it. Only a few times since they left home, she had asked Gideon to hold her through the night as she slept, and each time, she imagined some other girl experiencing that. Frankly, it made her want to die.
Gideon barked out a laugh in relief as if he was expecting her to say something much worse. Lifting the back of her hand, he kissed it before leaning back in his chair and hooking both thumbs into the waistband of his dark sweatpants. "That's real simple, my love, I'm never letting you get a husband."
The way he smiled and said it so seriously like that made her laugh. "I'm serious, though," she pouted.
Moving the truck forward once more, they could see that they were second in line now to the scale. Cutting his eyes to hers, she froze in her chair at the severity of his stare. "I am too," he replied calmly.
"Well, fine then," she said a little breathlessly. "Then I won't let you get a wife either," she said determinedly.
Shrugging, Gideon didn't seem fazed by that in the least. "Fine by me."
~*~
Stifling a yawn, Gideon pressed the radio button on his steering wheel, changing it from the quiet droning sounds of the sports radio to a station playing an unrecognizable hip-hop song. Driving down the freeway out of Charleston, West Virginia, the lights lining the highway strobed across the dark interior of the cab, lighting the darkness in consistent flashes. Looking over to his right, Gideon let his eyes linger on the curled-up figure in the seat for a couple of seconds longer before turning his focus back onto the empty freeway ahead of him. At least her hair finally dried, he told himself.
Earlier that day, they had spent their final off-day actually taking in the sights they normally only passed. For the past three days, they had been free. No forty-eight-inch trailer being hauled behind them, no deadlines to meet, just pure freedom to do as they pleased. Packing two backpacks with food, blankets, laptops, and books, they had parked the rig at each state park's designated parking lot and spent each day submerged in the beauty of West Virginia. Sitting under a tree, they had sat on their blankets eating sandwiches while he worked on two weeks' worth of homework for college, and she drifted in and out of sleep at his side. That day had been wonderful, but to his surprise, it somehow managed to manifest into something perfect.
They had been lying in the sun talking when they heard the approaching children. Pulled in by their exuberant laughter, he and Jade had watched as the four boys played in a high-spirited water-gun battle. Even now, as he recalled the events, Gideon wasn't quite sure how they got involved, but with two spare guns the boys let them use, they had entered the battle, which turned from vigorous to downright vicious. Leaning an elbow onto his seat's armrest, Gideon covered his smile with one hand as he recalled Jade's unexpected bloodlust. After eating water for nearly two minutes, Gideon had to step up his game. By the end of it, they were all exhausted, wet, and laughing. Handing the guns back to the kids and escorting the boys back to their parents at the campground, Jade had sagged tiredly against him as she explained to the older couple how they got roped into their children's game. Without even thinking, Gideon had slid his hand around Jade's waist to keep her steady against him as she talked, and when the mother of the boys thanked them and remarked on what a cute couple they were, neither one of them said anything to correct her.
It was nothing, he knew that. He was reading too much into something that didn't mean anything. But he took it, took it and held onto it as any sort of sign.
~*~
"Ok, so we have a little over forty-five thousand in our account, and that is not counting the three pending deposits from American Transit, Gazelle, and Speedies Shipping," Jade listed as she sat cross-legged in her seat.
With both armrests up on her seat, she balanced her laptop between her folded legs, nearly bouncing in bottled up joy. Last night they had laid side by side in Gideon's bunk, using the
lever that allowed his mattress to sit up at an incline, and looked up properties in Stardust Cove using the small flat-screen TV mounted on the opposite wall as a larger screen they could both see. After two hours of debating and scratching out numbers on a notebook, they were finally on the same page for what they wanted. A house, preferably on the east or west side of town that had three bedrooms and two baths, and no less than five acres of land.
"So," she let the word drag out as she went through her hundreds of open tabs on her browser, locating the right one. Finding it, she smiled and turned the laptop towards him, ignoring his stony expression. "Once we get up to where we have enough to put down at least sixty thousand, we can get a small loan for about two-hundred and eighty-five a month, that is with county taxes factored in."
They were currently in Illinois stuck in traffic. For the past twenty minutes, they had crept along the two-lane interstate, barely making any progress whatsoever. Suffice it to say Gideon was not in the best of moods.
"Yes, and we would need at least twenty to thirty thousand for the repairs since those are the only ones we can afford," he reminded her briskly.
A Love So Wrong: A Forbidden Romance Page 13
