“I understand all of that, but there is a person attached to the things he made you feel. You didn’t take the time to get to know him.”
“My mom and dad married without dating the conventional way, and they were together for over fifty years.”
“And I am sure both of them experienced everything you are feeling right now. I felt there was so much more to Pastor Lewis that you needed to get to know before you two married. He’s not Pastor Patterson. Your dad was different.”
“They are alike in so many ways, which is what attracted me to Dexter.”
“They are also different in many ways too. You don’t marry off attraction. Look what I went through. You should’ve used my mistake as a lesson. Nomi, he didn’t let you plan your wedding. Your mom left you the wedding dress that she’d made, hoping you would wear it to your wedding because she knew she wouldn’t be there physically. She planned her wedding because Pastor Patterson allowed her to. As I said, they are two completely different men. All of it eats me up so badly. I pray you’re ready because I can see it as clear as day. Pastor Lewis is about to take you for a ride.”
“You know he wrote a letter saying I had to end my friendship with you, and before that, he said he wanted me to work in ministry full time and to dress like Mother Diane.”
“Is that what you were trying to say? Wait. He said to close the boutique, and his exact words were he wants you to dress like Mother Diane?” She laughed.
“What’s so funny? I don’t understand how any of this is amusing. This is serious, Dez.”
“First, I just finished telling Mom that I wouldn’t be shocked if you would have to choose between Pastor and me. Mom grinned and said I was insane. I guess I was prophetic. Second, you can’t work and have to dress like the mothers of the church. That’s nuts.”
“Well, I am not choosing. You’re not just my friend. You’re my sister. I can’t believe that’s what you thought.”
“Pastor Lewis has some serious control issues. He has to make every decision like the color the choir should wear on Sunday. The pastor is at every committee meeting from the youth to the singles’ ministry. He can attend, but the auxiliary leaders have no input any longer. Everything is done his way. Pastor Lewis has taken the joy out of a lot of things in that church. Why do you think half of the members left? Please don’t allow him to take the joy out of your life, Nomi.”
“I won’t. I will go back to the house and talk to him.”
“All right, Nomi. You know I’m here when you need me. I love you, and there’s nothing he or you can do about it.”
“I love you too, Dez.”
* * *
The entire drive back, Naomi-Ruth’s mind kicked and flipped. She hated confrontation and had never been good at it. But to give up everything she’s developed from her bond with Dez to her business was something she couldn’t allow to be wiped out or taken from her. At this time, Naomi-Ruth missed her parents. Whenever matters became overpowering, they always knew what to do.
What would Mom and Dad tell me to do? she wondered.
Stepping out of the car, Naomi-Ruth heard her papa’s voice loud and straightforward, and it made her sob.
“Pray. Don’t take it out of God’s hands by meddling in His business. Pray until something takes place. Change has to take place when prayer is involved.”
It was a message Pastor Patterson had taught and disciplined his flock and household with as far back as Naomi-Ruth could remember.
“There’s my dear bride. I was troubled when you didn’t acknowledge my calls,” Dexter greeted her as the door opened.
“My phone was in the truck.”
“Weren’t you in the truck with it? Where were you?”
“No, Dexter, I wasn’t in the truck with it. I stepped out of it for a minute.”
“Are you all right? You look like you’ve been crying, and your tone sounds as if something is upsetting you.”
“I apologize if I sound that way because that’s not how I aimed to come off. Can we talk?”
“I thought that’s what we were doing, beautiful. What’s troubling you?”
“Maybe we should pray before we talk. Would that be all right with you?”
“Absolutely.”
Naomi-Ruth knew soliciting God first would assist in her being capable of discussing all that was scaring her. And if Levi hadn’t taught her anything else, he’d shown her how to get a prayer through.
Taking her husband by the hand, they begin to pray at the same time.
“I apologize, Dexter. Would it be all right if I prayed for us?”
“Being the head of this house and because you’re upset, I think it’d be best if I led us in prayer. The Bible tells us to be quick to listen and slow to talk because anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
“Dexter, I am not angry. I am hurt, afraid, and unsure.”
“God isn’t the author of confusion, my beloved Ruth.”
“He isn’t, and I am not angry.” She breathed deeply and exhaled before continuing. “I went to see Dez, and I also thought about all that you’re expecting me to comply with.”
“I am certain that it was hard for you to do, but what God has for us is for us. We cannot allow any weapon the devil has formed against us to prosper, especially if we can see it as it’s forming.”
“Please tell me you’re not referring to Dez as the devil.”
“I am not saying she is the devil, but he has used her and will continue to use anyone who will allow him to use them.”
“That is a horrible thing to say. Dez isn’t allowing the devil to use her to do anything. She’s been through a lot and doesn’t want to see me go through any of what she’s encountered. I’m not saying that will happen, but we rushed into this marriage. I was all right with it and blown away by it all, but what bothers me are your expectations for me to become someone I am not.”
“I know who you are. God showed you to me in a dream way before I met you. You had on a yellow and black hat with a broach made of sequins on it. Your suit was the same color as your hat. But what stuck out most was that angelic face of yours.”
“Are you sure that was me you saw? I don’t wear hats, and I don’t like them.”
“Ruth, God doesn’t make mistakes. He has ordained this marriage. He allowed me to find you so I could assist with taking you to your next level in Him. You don’t like hats, but I bet you will learn to love them. I was taught these things in the Bible, and the young ladies did so while I was growing up. Ladies are to keep their heads covered, especially on Sundays.”
“All I ask is that you allow me to be myself. My friendship with Dez cannot end, and I can’t change my entire wardrobe or dismantle N&D’s Boutique. Please give me time to show you that none of it will interfere with me being available for ministry or my responsibilities as your wife.”
“I’ve already spoken, Ruth. I will give you time, but what I’ve decided was never up for debate. What I will do is give you time to complete things.”
“This isn’t fair, Dexter.”
“What’s right never seems fair, but it’s always necessary.”
Unable to accept another word, Naomi-Ruth raced upstairs to the bedroom, locked the door behind her, and broke down. She hadn’t grieved this hard since her parents’ back-to-back deaths. She had hoped to follow in Vera’s footsteps and marry a God-fearing man like her dad. Dexter was that. He had taken over the church and became the new and youthful Pastor Patterson. It all had seemed right. None of what had transpired was making sense, however. Dexter used the scriptures to show Naomi-Ruth he was in the will of God. It was hard to digest. God isn’t the author of confusion, yet she was more confused than she had ever been. What was supposed to be the happiest time of her life appeared to be turning into a nightmare.
As Dexter knocked on the door for entrance, Naomi-Ruth silently petitioned her Heavenly Father. “Dear Lord, I seek to be clear-minded in this time of distress and confusion. Fath
er, I pray that you would give me increasing clarity of thought in my home and this marriage. Please widen the views of my understanding and grant me true wisdom. I’m weary and need you. I need your strength. Your Word says your joy is my strength. This pressure is backing me into a corner, making me powerless. I need your strength and direction. I am nothing without you and cannot do any of this without you. Help me to see what your plan is for my life and this union. God, I call on you for your protection and your direction in my life. Please forgive me if I moved too quickly without consulting you. Help me see your hand in this marriage and give me peace to move forward. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”
Chapter Fifteen
Dream Come True . . .
Dexter had allowed Naomi-Ruth to mature and blossom in the Lord before he made his move to ask for her hand in marriage and wed her. He had watched her stand in the background before and after the deaths of Pastor Patterson and Vera. She had instructed everyone on the concerns of her father’s dying wishes for the staff and auxiliary heads of the church without being in the center of attention. From Pastor Lewis’s observations, Naomi-Ruth had avoided being seen or heard. Her shyness was attractive to Dexter. However, to become the first lady, his wife, Naomi-Ruth needed to be comfortable with being a prime focus. Whenever he attended the auxiliary meetings, he would take charge and almost always include a view or opinion from Naomi-Ruth. He had told G-ma Dye it was his way of grooming his wife for her calling.
Over time, Naomi-Ruth began to break out of her shell. She spoke without an invitation in a discussion and took over as the choir director when Mia’s, the appointed director, pregnancy had restricted her tasks. That gesture caused Dexter to recognize she was ready. He’d purchased Naomi-Ruth’s dress and the engagement and wedding rings after his initial discussion with Pastor Patterson. Dexter thanked God Naomi-Ruth’s weight hadn’t increased since meeting her three years ago. Pastor Lewis had given G-ma Dye and her team the ceremony’s details the day after he’d presided over Pastor Patterson’s home going service. The time of Levi’s illness was an improper time to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage again, but Mother Diane had disagreed and felt Dexter should solicit Levi’s blessings.
“Dexter, don’t you think you should go down to the nursing home and talk to Pastor?”
“Not while he is on his deathbed. That would be selfish of me to do something like that. Besides, I already asked him, G-ma Dye.”
“And he didn’t give you an answer. He told you to come back when you were sure.”
“He didn’t say no, either. That only tells me he wanted to make sure I was who Bishop Livingston had described me to be. He saw it, which is why out of all of the clergy in the church, he left his congregation to me. God showed me my wife, and Ruth is her, G-ma Dye. I don’t need Pastor’s blessing again because he indirectly gave it to me already, and above all, my God blesses the union. That alone is enough for me.”
“You owe it to him out of respect to receive his blessing, Dexter. I understand what you’re saying, but God does things in decency and order. Getting Pastor’s blessing is divinely required.”
G-ma Dye’s comments cut Dexter deeply. However, when he eventually decided to go and talk to Pastor Patterson, he was notified of Levi’s passing. That pushed the proposal, wedding, and everything back. Pastor Lewis believed God that the right time would present itself for him to propose to Naomi-Ruth after that. He was prepared because he wanted the day to be one to remember whenever the occasion would take place. It just so happened that on the Sunday of their wedding, the lead singer’s son had come down with a stomach bug, preventing her from attending service. Unbeknownst to Pastor Lewis or the congregation, Naomi-Ruth would fill in. They’d heard her sing before, but she’d never taken over and led a song under the anointing of God the way that she had that morning. At that hour, he recognized it was time and shifted the topic and scriptures for his sermon. That was G-ma Dye and her staff’s cue to prepare for a wedding.
Everything had gone better than Pastor Lewis had expected. The only thing that’d bothered him was Pop Reg not witnessing his union. While driving home from service seven years ago, Pop Reg had fallen asleep at the steering wheel and lost his life. Dexter wished he were alive to see him marry the woman of his dreams to prove Pop Reg wrong. After losing his and Tamariane’s son, Dexter devoted everything to maintaining, preaching, and abiding by the Word of God. If a female looked in his direction, it was as if she were invisible. Dexter didn’t allow himself to see it or entertain anything that wasn’t uplifting to his spirit. Women weren’t what he sought after in that season of his life. Pop Reg teased him as he always did whenever he’d notice a young lady showing Dexter interest, and he refused her advances.
“Boy, let me ask you something.”
“What is it, Pop Reg?”
“What happened to you after Tamariane? Do you like women anymore?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“A question you’re avoiding. Please don’t tell me you’re into men now.”
“Pop Reg, the Lord showered down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah and destroyed them. Do you honestly think I would allow myself to fall from God’s grace again? He created men and women to be together, not men and men or woman and woman.”
“And you’re raining down scriptures and dodging my question. Is this your way of coming out of the closet? If so, get back in it. I don’t think I can deal with you being so heavenly minded and gay at the same time. It’s too much for an old man to carry.”
“That’s sick. Can I be concerned about myself and making it to heaven right now without you passing judgment?”
“I bet not catch you in Dye’s bras and wigs, or I’m putting you out.”
“God showed me my wife in a dream, but I haven’t met her yet. That’s why I don’t pay any mind to the females that come at me.”
“Lord, I hope it isn’t one of those men that dress up like women.”
Anytime they were alone, their discussions resulted in Pop Reg questioning Dexter’s masculinity. Dexter knew he was mocking him and didn’t mean it. He just wished Pop Reg could see and meet the wife of his dreams. Naomi-Ruth was who he saw in his thoughts in his early twenties. The same woman was crying in his master suite now. He didn’t enjoy seeing or hearing Naomi-Ruth cry. When they first got married, Pastor Lewis knew things would be rough in the beginning, but he’d never expected the tears. Although marriage, getting to know each other, and living under the same roof was new and would be a time of testing, he didn’t want to see it. Dexter believed there was nothing too hard for God. He had done everything the right way in the sight of the Lord this time. Therefore, everything involving their household and union would be blessed.
No matter what was going on between the two of them, Dexter knew God covered them. He didn’t make mistakes, but man did. Pastor Lewis had waited to wed before he exposed his affection for his beloved Ruth. Dexter’s dreams embodied before him the day he came face-to-face with Naomi-Ruth. A craving for her festered inside of him. Pastor Lewis desired Sister Naomi in every way possible. Intellectually, physically, personally, and spiritually. He hadn’t ever encountered this type of passion for a woman before. The more time Dexter spent near or around Naomi-Ruth, the higher his craving for her rose, which is why he’d waited before having her until after they married. Pastor Lewis had chosen to prove himself, and more importantly, God, that his love for Naomi-Ruth surpassed sex. Naomi-Ruth’s insecurities peaked when Dexter had recommended that they not rush into intimacy.
As they entered the room for the first time as man and wife, Naomi-Ruth allowed Dexter to get comfortable as she freshened up in the bathroom. Mother Diane’s assistant had given Naomi-Ruth a sheer, lace, floral, baby-doll negligée with sheer cups and matching G-string panties. After making her way out of the bathroom, Dexter’s eyes trace Naomi-Ruth’s delicate beauty. She was the vision of the sacred beauty of the wife and companion he desired her to be.
“Wow, you are breathtaking.”
“Thank you, Pastor, I mean Dexter. I just want my first time and our first time together to be enchanting.”
“I am not your pastor right now. I am your husband.”
“My apologies, Dexter. I want this to be special for both of us.”
“Everything about you, including our pledge to each other, is extraordinary. But first things first. I want you to come over here and talk with me for a minute.”
“Don’t you think we should save the talking for later?” She winked her eye.
“I’m going to love coming home to you.”
“I promise not to let you down.” She took a seat next to him.
“I know you won’t, beautiful. I know this is our wedding night, and right now, we should be all over each other, but I want to wait and absorb your beauty before we take part in each other.”
“Dexter, that’s not making too much sense. Do I not turn you on? Am I no longer attractive to you? Do you prefer me better with clothes on? I don’t understand why you don’t want me when you can have me. I am your wife.”
“My beloved Ruth, I want you in every way possible. In fact, now that you’re mine, I have permission to have you whenever I want you.”
“You just don’t want me now, is that what you’re saying?”
“That is not what I said. The right moment will present itself. Our bodies will lead us. We don’t have to rush intimacy. I want this to be right. Today was everything I dreamt it would be. Let’s bask in the ambiance of it all.”
Naomi-Ruth locked herself in the bedroom for over two hours, and Dexter’s concern grew. Instead of knocking on the door again, he used his key to gain entrance. His wife had fallen asleep across the bed, making him smile in adoration. She was a picture of beauty that only God could have crafted. Once in arm’s distance, he reached and lifted Naomi-Ruth from the bed and cradled her as if she were a newborn. Her eyes widened, realizing she wasn’t dreaming.
Unspoken Words Page 10
