“This is our house. I am not leaving, Ruth. God doesn’t ordain divorce, and if I leave this house, it will lead to that, and it’s not happening.”
“After everything you’ve said, do you really think I’m going to allow you to stay here? This house is in my name. We never changed it. It was left to me before we married. Now, please, leave.”
“You will regret what you’re doing.”
“You know what? You’ve taught me so much about love. A person can worship the ground that you walk on and could be the worst thing for you at the same time. Just because you love me doesn’t mean you’re for me. I will not become your lap dog and allow you to punish me or my son any longer. To think I forgave you because of your confession and tears. Just because a person cries doesn’t mean they’re sorry or they’re going to change.”
Pastor Lewis packed a few things and tearfully left with G-ma Dye back to his former home. Naomi-Ruth felt as if her whole world had caved in on her. Zayvon’s diagnosis and splitting up with Dexter were the last things she could have imagined. She loved Dexter with everything in her, but she loved herself and Zayvon more.
Chapter Twenty-four
When It Rains, It Pours . . .
Desirae always had her reservations about Pastor Lewis from the time they appointed him the head pastor. She struggled with his controlling ways. His actions barely took her aback. However, the way he turned his back on Naomi-Ruth and Zayvon blew her mind. When Nomi phoned her after Dexter left, Dez shed tears all the way back over to Naomi-Ruth’s house.
“Nomi, are you all right? I know this is probably the hardest thing you’ve ever had to endure outside burying your parents. No matter what, you know I am here with you and my godson through it all.”
“I feel so empty inside, Dez. He went from husband and then father of the decade to accusing me of sleeping with someone else and has abandoned his son and me. Had he stayed, he would not have been present. Dexter hardly said two words to me after we brought Zayvon home. He blames me, Dez.” She broke down.
“Something is missing in all of this. He seems so unstable, Nomi. If I learned anything in therapy and from talking to Xavier, Pastor Lewis deflects. It bothers me so much that he uses the Bible to throw everything and everyone off course. He criticizes and blames everyone for everything. I think something happened to him, and he has his own skeletons. That’s why he is the way that he is.”
“Dez, I’m not sure of anything right now. I can’t even deal with the hurt from not being able to do anything to make things better for my son because I have to have a shouting match with my husband. He was so mean, Dez.”
“Right now, our primary concern is Zayvon. Let God deal with Pastor Lewis. I know it pains you, but right now, you don’t have any other choice.”
After shedding tears with her friend, Desirae allowed Naomi-Ruth to get herself and Zayvon settled and later headed back home. While on the road, she called Xavier for some words of comfort. All of what was going on with Nomi was a hard pill for her to swallow. Dez was trying her best to take in Nomi’s pain and be strong for her, but she felt she was hurting as much as Naomi-Ruth. Even though Dez believed Naomi-Ruth and Pastor Lewis rushed into marriage, she admired their union in the same breath. When Pastor Lewis was Dexter, as Naomi-Ruth would say, when he wasn’t in his clergy collar, he showered Nomi with a love that Dez prayed she’d receive someday. The man that he turned into once he picked up the Bible was someone Desirae didn’t agree with or like.
“Hey, Xavier, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Not at all, beautiful. What’s troubling you? I can hear the sadness in your voice.”
“So much is going on . . . I don’t even know where to begin. Forgive me for crying in your ear, but I just hate that Nomi is dealing with all of this at the same time.”
“Desirae, I don’t want you ever to feel the need to apologize for showing emotion. If you have to cry, let it out. Now, tell me what’s going on.”
“Remember, I told you Zayvon failed his hearing test at the hospital before being discharged?”
“Yes, I do, and you said the doctors said it might not have meant anything, right?”
“Correct. However, we went with Nomi today to take him for more testing, and they said he has some genetic thing. I can’t remember the name of it, and that he’s deaf. That breaks my heart into a million pieces, especially when Nomi said her son wouldn’t ever hear her voice. All of this is a lot to deal with at once. I feel like I can’t breathe right now.”
“Take a deep breath, Dez. Just breathe and talk to me. Talking will help you avoid having a panic attack. Let me ask you a question. How’s Pastor Lewis dealing with all of this?”
“I didn’t even get to him. He blamed Nomi for it. He even used her being raped against her. It’s like he wants nothing to do with Zayvon. He said sin caused him to be deaf, and not just any sin—Nomi’s sins. He accused her of possibly cheating.”
“Now, I see why you had an emotional breakdown. What I need you to do is remember, none of this can be fixed or changed overnight, and guess what?”
“What?”
“You will not have the answers to it all. You will get confused at times, and it will be painful, but God has you and Naomi-Ruth here, so He will bring you through it. I’m so sorry Pastor Lewis reacted in the way that he did, but in my professional opinion, this is deeper than what’s on the surface. He’s hurting, and the only way hurt individuals know how to deal with it is to hurt other people.”
“It’s so funny you say that because I just told Nomi the same thing.”
“Pray for him and allow them to work that part out. They’re married. Naomi-Ruth will do what’s best for her and her family. You might end up not agreeing with her decision, but just be there for her no matter what.”
“I have been from day one. Pastor Lewis proposed and prepared a wedding ceremony down to picking out Nomi’s dress.”
“I don’t understand. What’re you saying?”
“Pastor proposed during service and sent Nomi downstairs to put on her dress while they fixed the church up for them to get married. He even wrote their vows.”
“That’s a lot. We have to pray and let this play out the way that it’s supposed to. Right now, the baby is the priority. Getting him the help he needs outweighs everything else. Naomi-Ruth will need you because this will be a trying season, but there’s nothing too hard for God.”
“I love talking to you. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I just pulled up to my place. I’ll call you a little later, all right?”
“Sure thing, beautiful. I’ll be waiting.”
As Desirae reached the door, the smell of burnt food greeted her, along with smoke, when she opened the door. The smoke detector was screaming in the background as she called out for Rosalind.
“Ma!” Dez yelled when she opened the door.
There was no answer, so she headed toward the kitchen. As she got closer, a faint, charred smell invaded her nostrils.
“Ma!” she repeated.
“Nooooo!” she yelled as she stepped to the door and saw Rosalind on the floor with blood on her head.
The back door had been kicked in, and a chair was turned over, and the table was pushed out of place. All that registered in a split second as she rushed to where Rosalind was sprawled on the floor.
Apparently, Rosalind was at the stove, cooking greens, and someone broke in through the back door and assaulted her. They took all of their jewelry and cash that was in the house. Rosalind’s purse and both of their laptops were stolen, as well. The assailant had left her in a pool of blood. The ambulance rushed Rosalind to the hospital where she was pronounced dead from blunt force trauma. Someone had violently hit her on the head with an object, and that blow took her life.
* * *
It had been four days since Rosalind’s death, and Desirae hadn’t said a word. She refused to eat. All she did was sit inside their home and cry. Xavier had been in town since the night of the
break-in.
Before finding out about the murder, Naomi-Ruth didn’t want to sit in the house alone, so she packed Zayvon’s and her things into an overnight bag and headed to Rosalind and Desirae’s. She knew they wouldn’t have a problem with them being there. However, when she arrived, she was met by flashing lights. Getting out of the car, she could see police officers and the paramedics by Desirae’s door. Strapping Zayvon to the front of her, Naomi-Ruth ran toward all the commotion. When she got closer to the door, she saw Desirae on her knees, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs with bloodstains on her shirt, hands, and face.
“Dez, are you all right? What happened to you?”
“Nomi, someone hurt Mom and robbed us. She wasn’t breathing. I tried to help her.”
“No, nooooo. This is not happening,” Naomi-Ruth cried out, cradling Zayvon.
Naomi-Ruth refused to leave Desirae’s side even though she didn’t feel comfortable having Zayvon in the emergency room with her. She waited in the lobby and took Dez’s phone while she was out there and phoned Xavier to let him know what had happened. While she was on the phone with him, she was informed that Rosalind had passed away. Xavier was in New Jersey on business. After talking to Naomi-Ruth, he cancelled his lecture and took a taxi to New York, Long Island, to be exact. The cost didn’t matter. All Xavier wanted was to be by Desirae’s side during her time of need.
* * *
The service was scheduled for today, and although things between Naomi-Ruth and Dexter had been rocky, they put aside their differences to make the arrangements for Rosalind’s funeral. Despite Pastor Lewis’s ways, Rosalind loved and respected her pastor. She would tell Desirae it would only be a matter of time before God cut Pastor down to size and humbled him really good. Dez would shake her head and wished it happened sooner than later for Nomi’s sake. In any event, Pastor Lewis was at the podium, preparing to begin officiating the service as Rosalind would have desired.
“We are gathered here today to seek and to receive comfort. I would be lying if I said our hearts aren’t aching over the loss of our beloved sister, Rosalind Cooke. God, we come here today, asking for you to minister to our hearts and Sister Desirae’s heart. Give her strength, Heavenly Father. We thank you in advance for wrapping your arms around the bereaved family, dear Lord.
“You know if Sister Rosalind were able to say something right now, she’d say, ‘Let the Lord use you, Pastor. We need a Word.’”
“Amen. Yes, she would. She loved the Word,” the mourners chimed in.
“Our circumstances in life can alter without notice, and at times, worsen. In those dark times, we should draw closer to God. He is the source of our strength. In Him is where we have to seek refuge. Our natural man might be tempted to become bitter in these times, but that won’t change things. Only God can carry us through the valley experiences. We cannot allow ourselves to operate in our flesh. Anything that’s a result of the flesh cannot be an heir of God’s promise. The story of Ishmael in the Bible teaches us to wait on God because when we act on impulse taking matters into our own hands, kicking our husbands out of our homes, backbiting, murmuring, and complaining, we’re operating out of our flesh. Sometimes, you can’t move forward until you recognize where you’ve failed. Sickness and ailments are liable to attach themselves to you and your children when you disobey God. And you will end up just like Hagar, the bondwoman, and a child of a bondwoman cannot be an heir.”
“You are a sick man! How could you get up there at my mother’s funeral and say those things? What is wrong with you?” Desirae exploded before running out of the church with Xavier on her heels.
Naomi-Ruth cried as she raced out the door behind Xavier and Desirae.
Chapter Twenty-five
Lord, I Trust You . . .
Rosalind’s service was the last place Naomi-Ruth had expected Dexter to act out in the way that he had. He humiliated her in the worst way possible. Not only that, he made a difficult, heart-wrenching time even more tragic. Disgust, anger, embarrassment, and regret plagued Naomi-Ruth’s soul because of her association with Dexter. She was sad for his soul. He had to be a troubled man without a heart to stand in front of the church at a funeral and say the things that he said.
Naomi-Ruth did her best to console Desirae, but it was almost impossible. They couldn’t get a word in because they’d break down in tears just looking at each other. Desirae felt remorseful for Naomi-Ruth and vice versa. Dez has been staying with Naomi-Ruth since Rosalind’s murder, and Xavier has been right by her side. Naomi-Ruth was happy to have them there.
In the midst of everything that had been going on, she had been battling with the fear of raising her son alone—her deaf son. He had an appointment today to receive his first hearing aids. Naomi-Ruth hadn’t had time to review the literature she received or make the appointments she needed to make because she’d been mourning the loss of Rosalind and Dexter. To her, it’s as if he passed away at the funeral. There was no way in the world he could love her and denounce her and Zayvon in front of their church family and friends. Part of her wished she would have listened to Dez when they were downstairs before the wedding. Then the other part of her was grateful because had she not married Dexter, Zayvon wouldn’t be here. Naomi-Ruth loved her son. She talked to him and treated him as if he heard and understood everything she said.
What Naomi-Ruth feared most was how people would stare and treat Zayvon when they saw the hearing aid in his ears. She didn’t want her son to be treated as if he were abnormal. Xavier helped her calm down after a talk they’d had. He’d walked past the nursery and overheard Naomi-Ruth crying, talking to Zayvon.
“I love you, Zay. I know you can’t hear me, but you will learn to read my lips one day. I wish you could hear my voice so that you would know everything is going to be all right.”
“He knows, Naomi-Ruth. That boy is comfortable and content, staring back at you.”
Xavier startled her.
“I didn’t even hear you come in. Do you think he really knows everything will be all right?”
“Of course, he does. There isn’t anything different going on between the two of you right now than it would be for a hearing child. You are giving him the same love, attention, care, mother-son relationship that any new mom would give her newborn. The only difference will be how you will communicate with each other later on down the line. Right now, all he needs is what you’re giving him . . . love.”
“Thank you so much, Xavier. I didn’t even give myself a chance to look at it that way, but you’re absolutely right. And thank you for being what my Dez needs right now.”
“You don’t have to thank me. God knows what He’s doing even when everything looks like it’s falling apart. These light afflictions are only for a moment. Think about all of the things that God has already brought you through. If He did it before, He will do it again. Pray for your husband and learn to forgive him. I am not saying you have to take him back or anything like that. That’s between you, him, and God. What I am saying is don’t allow that stuff to fester on your heart for too long. It’ll be hard to get it off. You have too much love sitting in your arms to have any offense in your heart.”
Xavier’s words resonated in Naomi-Ruth’s heart. Although things hadn’t changed, she felt good about the possibility of change and accepting things for what they were. His words were what she was carrying with her to Zayvon’s appointment, along with trusting that God hadn’t given her the spirit of fear.
Because the funeral was two days ago, Naomi-Ruth didn’t bother asking Dez to accompany her and Zay. She also wanted to get comfortable with Zay having equipment for his ears before dealing with anyone else’s questions or sympathy. The last thing Naomi-Ruth wanted was for anyone to feel sorry for her or Zayvon.
* * *
The hour that Naomi-Ruth had anxiously dreaded was here. Questions of . . . If Zayvon was deaf, why did he need hearing aids, and other unknowns had tormented her, causing nervous shakes. She felt nauseate
d sitting in the waiting room for the five minutes that she’d been there.
Maybe I should reschedule and come back after I’ve read over the material I received at his last appointment, she pondered.
Before Naomi-Ruth could follow through her thoughts, she and Zayvon were brought into the exam room, where the audiology team awaited them.
“Good morning, Mrs. Lewis. Before we begin, I want to put you at ease and answer all the questions you have,” the audiologist, Harry, said comfortingly.
“Well, first, I would like to know why Zayvon would require hearing aids when he was diagnosed as being deaf. If I am not mistaken, that means he’s unable to hear, correct?”
“Sensorineural hearing loss is a form of hearing loss, and there’s a strong chance that it can be managed with hearing aids. The hearing aids will alert Zayvon by providing a sense of sound to give him a higher awareness of everything around him.”
“How will I know they’re working?”
“We will routinely conduct additional testing to monitor his progress.”
“I apologize for asking a million questions, but Zayvon is the first deaf person that I have ever met. And he’s my child. I don’t want him to suffer.”
“This is a new experience. Like learning a new job, everything seems foreign, but over time, you adjust—the same with hearing aids. Zayvon will adjust, and so will you. He will not suffer. He can still have a normal life, obtain a good education, job, and everything else.”
“Thank you so much, Harry. I have been overthinking when I know better.”
“It’s perfectly fine and normal.”
Naomi-Ruth left the audiologist’s office more at ease. Her primary concern now is that she is responsible for maintaining the hearing aids. The audiology team was excellent and made her feel comfortable with everything while there. They just wouldn’t be at her side while at home, which frightened her. Harry and his team reassured her that they’d be there every step of the way. The volume of information they gave her was what overwhelmed her and had her terrified. But to know Zayvon had a support system in place calmed some of her anxiety.
Unspoken Words Page 16
