Eventually, though, it started to annoy me, so I put my hand over his and moved it to the center console and let go. David blushed bright red, and stammered “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about it.”
“It’s okay.” I answered absently. My mind had retreated back to its favorite pastime of imagining the worst that could happen. Abruptly, my door opened. I gasped as David’s face was suddenly inches from mine. I wasn’t even aware that we had arrived, or that David had gotten out of the car.
“No, it’s not, and you’re not either. Are you sure you want to do this? I know it’s just class, but you didn’t hear a word I just said to you. Are you even going to remember anything they say in class today?”
I had worried about the same thing, but I needed to do this. For my own wellbeing and sanity, I had to try. I sighed before I answered him. “Yes, I am sure I want to do this. I don’t know if I will remember anything, but I have to try. Doing nothing is driving me nuts, and I refuse to let some psycho fairies control my life.”
“Okay.” He held out his hands and helped me out of the car, although I really didn’t need help. It was a sweet gesture, anyway. He got his backpack and mine out of the trunk, and slung one over each shoulder.
“Oh, come on! Give me my backpack.” Exasperated, I pulled on the strap hanging on the other side.
“Nope. Mom said you needed to take it easy to heal, and to not let you pick anything up that was heavy. This backpack is too heavy for you right now.”
“No, it’s not. I was going to use my right arm, like I did when we went out to the car. I was fine then, and I’ll be fine now!” I threw a little fit, and even stomped my foot. David just chuckled and continued on into the school, heading straight for my class.
We were on the middle break when I realized I hadn’t told him where my class was. I briefly wondered about it, but class started again, and the thought was quickly forgotten. Math was one of the few subjects I had to work hard at. It just didn’t come naturally to me, and the underlying theories just didn’t make sense.
Once class was over, we stopped at the cafeteria for lunch before David’s class. I bought pizza again; it really was the only thing they had that I could stand, and David got the greasiest burger I had ever seen, as well as waffle fries. I love waffle fries, so I stole a few. David just smiled at me.
We talked about mundane things, passing time until his class, and avoiding the issues that had plagued me. It was a nice half-hour or so where I was able to forget about my problems. David eventually got up, taking both trays with him to throw the trash away. He returned and picked up both backpacks again. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I just let him. We walked slowly to his architecture class. Unlike my classes, which were in classrooms similar to auditoriums, this one was in an art room, with a backlit drawing table for each student.
I picked an empty chair in the corner with no desk and pulled out my book. While David learned about eco-friendly designs like concrete that allows water to pass through and roof-top gardening, I retreated to my book-world. My mom used to yell at me when I read, because I blocked out everything, and she would often have to tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. All too soon, David was waving his hand between me and the book. I blinked up at him.
“Is your class over already?” I got up, stretched and started putting my book in my bag.
“Yep. Are you ready to head over to your apartment?”
A big smile on my face, I nodded. I couldn’t wait to see my apartment. Once I zipped up my bag, David picked it up and slung it over his shoulder again. I just sighed this time. Apparently, this was not an argument I was going to win. I decided to concede in the most lady-like fashion I knew. So that meant I grumbled under my breath the entire walk to the car.
It was silent on the drive to my apartment, while I was lost in my thoughts. Once there, I let myself in cautiously, scanning the apartment and fervently listening for any out of place noises. I was so focused on making sure the apartment was empty that I jumped and lashed out with my elbow when David put his hand on my shoulder.
“Oh my God, I am so sorry! I forgot you were here. Did I hurt you?”
David was hunched over a little, wheezing and rubbing his upper stomach, with tears in his eyes. “I’m fine,” He rasped. “You really know where to hit. That took my breath away.” His face was slowly turning bright red.
I had to force myself not to laugh at him. “You are just the right height for me to hit your solar plexus. Come on, let’s get what I need and go. I’m getting creeped out way more than I thought I would.” I had been so excited this morning to get here, and now I couldn’t wait to get away. As much as I loved my apartment, the memory of the Lorgaire Scath visiting in the middle of the night had my adrenaline pumping. My heart was pounding, and every little sound was making me jump. It brought tears to my eyes that I now felt this way about it. I brushed them angrily away as I scanned the room one more time.
David rubbed my back gently while he looked around and said, “Anything I can help with?”
“Nope. Just sit your butt down and stay out of my way. I will have my stuff together in a jiffy.”
He held his hands up and sat down. “Alrighty, then.”
I had thought about what I wanted to get on the way over. While still fighting tears, I quickly gathered the rest of my clothes into a laundry bag, and threw my toiletries on top. My books and crafting supplies went into a rather large box that I had brought with us. David took the laundry bag out to the car while I tried to arrange everything to fit in the box, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t fit everything.
“Shit. Shit. Fuckin’ shitty shit.” I was cursing as David walked back in.
“What’s wrong, now?” The smile on his face belied the irritation in his voice.
“Nothing huge, I just can’t fit everything in and I am getting frustrated. I really don’t want to come back, but if I can’t fit everything in the box, it will take too many trips to take it all.” I sat down and rubbed my eyes, trying to keep the tears from flowing.
After a quick trip around the room, David sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. He pulled me in to lean on him, as his hand made small circles on my upper arm. “We can figure it out, Sugar. We will get it all this trip.” He scanned the room again. “Hey, do you have any under bed storage?”
I gaped at him for a second. “Yeah, there’s a few medium-size plastic containers under there that has my sheets and summer clothes in it.” As I jumped up, I exclaimed, “That’s a great idea, David! I’ll throw the sheets and clothes on top of the bed and we can use that for the rest of my stuff!”
As I did just that, I let the tears that I had been fighting since we arrived fall. Deep in my heart, I had an undeniable feeling that I was never going to call this little apartment home again, and it was just breaking my heart. It meant so much to me as a symbol of my independence. Even though I did not want David to see me cry, I couldn’t help it. There was finality to packing that I just couldn’t shake. This apartment was my refuge, and my sanctuary, not only from school, but from my whole life. I had felt like I could come here and nothing would hurt me or bother me. This whole situation had turned everything in my life upside down. It felt like I was going to fall into the darkest pit I had ever seen, and I was losing my grip on the edge.
Once everything was packed, my pity party over and my tears dry, we prepped the apartment for an extended leave. I turned the thermostat down to 55. I didn’t want the pipes to freeze, but there was no reason to pay for heat if I wasn’t here. We threw away all the food in the fridge, and turned it off. I packed up what little canned goods I had as well as the one unopened box of cereal. The opened stuff was thrown away. I cleaned and vacuumed, and dusted. In other words, I stalled for as long as humanly possible. While I cleaned, and mourned the loss of my apartment, David took the rest of the stuff to the car. After several trips to the dumpster, I felt like I was ready to leave.
David looked
at me, the kindness in his eyes almost undoing my tentative control over my tears. “You know, this is probably not the last time you will be here. We will get this mess sorted out, and you will be back here before you know it.”
I smiled sadly at him. “Thanks for that, but my heart is telling me that I won’t be back. It will be fine, though. I just wish I had a place for the furniture. It’s not much, but its mine.”
I slowly glanced around the room, saying my goodbyes. As I closed the door, I closed my eyes and let go of the apartment in my mind. I couldn’t think of it as mine anymore. I had six months left on the lease, but I was sure I was not coming back. I locked the door and walked away.
Chapter 11
After leaving my apartment, David drove us back to his house. I was silent on the way, despite David’s attempts to draw me out. I was just hurting too much inside to talk. He wouldn’t understand either. He had a good relationship with his mom, and he seemed content to live at home. My relationship with my parents, even before the current crisis, was strained. I love my mom, and I work for her, but the parent/child relationship was tense. She was just never able to be there for me in any real way, and as a result, I had longed to be truly independent from a fairly young age. It was a dream come true when I moved out for college.
My thoughts drifted to the past week. I knew I needed to call my mom. She was the only person who could really answer my questions about Dad and what my lineage is, but I was still mad at her, and I didn’t really want to talk to her. I rubbed my eyes and sighed. David looked at me briefly, but gave me the space I needed right now by not asking. He reached over and squeezed my knee. I sighed again. He really was very sweet, and I don’t know what I would do without him right now. I patted his hand, then leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. While pretending to sleep, I drifted off.
I woke up, snuggled into a fluffy blanket on the dark denim couch in the basement, and a soft fuzzy pillow was under my head. A sandwich sat on the table in front of me, as well as a can of pop. It looked like David had made me a snack. I sat up, and picked up the sandwich gingerly. I sniffed it and pulled the top piece of bread off, inspecting the sandwich to make sure it was edible. I took a hesitant bite. It didn’t seem like it would kill me, so I ate the rest of it. Once I started eating, I realized how hungry I was. Janelle had said that I would need to eat more as well as sleep more while the rest of the injuries healed completely. I was surprised at how tired I still was.
While I drank my pop, I debated what my next step should be. I had already decided I needed to call my mom. Should I write up all the questions I had, or should I just wing it? Maybe I should ask her to come down here so we could do this in person. But then I wouldn’t have an out if it got too much to handle. Was there anyone else I could ask? I was truly procrastinating now. Feeling my back pocket, I realized my phone was not there. I glanced around the room. David had put all my crafting supplies down here, so my phone should be here somewhere.
I got up, pulled the blanket off the couch, and heard a thunk. My phone was lying on the floor. It must have been caught up in the blanket. I picked it up and exhaled heavily. There was nothing else I could do to put this off. I brought up her contact and hit the call button.
It rang a few times, and went to voicemail. I left a message, asking her to call me back, but it was odd she didn’t answer. It was rare that she didn’t answer a call from me. Even though it was somewhat a relief not to have to talk to her, at the same time, my anxiety kicked up a notch, making my mind conjure up all the bad things that could have happened to her. The bad guys kidnapped her and were torturing her to get to me. She fell and couldn’t get to her phone and was lying on the floor, slowly dying. She was in a bad car accident and was hospitalized and they didn’t know to call me, or worse, she died and no one knew who she was. Each scenario was worse than the last. I turned the radio on my phone on, and focused on the songs, singing along in my head to drown out the thoughts while trying to steady my breathing.
Eventually, my heart slowed down and my mind gave up its attempt to paralyze me. I had always struggled with low grade anxiety, but recent events had started to ramp it up. I really needed to find a way to deal with it, but I didn’t want to go to a therapist. Maybe I could find more ideas on how to deal with it on the internet.
Putting that out of my mind, I dug into my craft supplies after arranging the emails with the orders that Mom had sent me. I started working on a pair of beaded earrings, and let my mind wander. I loved crafting, making something beautiful with my hands helped calm me. My mom called back just as I finished the first one.
“Hi, Mom. How’s it going?”
“Oh, fine, dear. I’ve been busy. You know how it is. What’s up? Your voicemail sounded weird.”
“I have a lot I need to tell you, and it is going to take a while. Do you have a few?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, here it goes.” I took a deep breath and started from the beginning. I told her everything I had already told her, plus everything else that had happened, focusing only on the facts. After getting through all the events, I also told her how betrayed I felt from them not telling me about my heritage. It took a while, maybe forty minutes to get through it all. When I was done, there was silence on the line.
“Mom? Are you there?”
“Yeah…” She sounded emotionally distant, like she used to do when I was a kid and had hurt her feelings. “You were right, that was a lot.” She took a deep, shaky breath that I could hear through the phone. “I already explained to you why we didn’t tell you. I understand that you are upset, and I can accept that, but the past is the past and we aren’t going to rehash that now. We need to focus on what is happening and how you can stay safe.” She paused for a second. “Jawn gave me contact information for someone to call if anything were to threaten you. He didn’t think it would happen, but you know your father, always over prepared.” My heart dropped. Dad had thought I could be threatened and he still decided I didn’t need to know. And, worse yet, she didn’t think to give me this information until after I told her Travis said I was being hunted, and about the Lorgaire in my room? I couldn’t deal with this new betrayal, so I just stopped thinking about it. My best defense against hurt had always been to ignore what was hurting me. I could hear her digging through a drawer. “Ah, here it is. I’ll take a picture and text it to you.”
“Did he say who this person is?” I focused on the matter at hand.
“No, he just said that if anything regarding Shadoewynne ever came up, to call them, and they would help. He said to tell them you are his daughter before you tell them anything else.”
I couldn’t keep from wondering, and the questions popped out before I could stop them. “Why did you two decide not to tell me, but he still left info for if I needed help, and why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I could almost hear her shrug. “I forgot about it before, and I don’t know why he suddenly decided he needed a plan B for you, Honey. About two weeks before the car accident, he came home very agitated. He insisted I take this information and keep it in a safe place, but wouldn’t tell me why. He kept saying, ‘got to cover all the bases’ under his breath.”
Stunned, I sat quiet for a minute. It sounded like someone had approached Dad and scared him. Dad had been in the army, and seen some action in the Desert Storm war. It took a lot to rattle him, but it sounded like something had. I also wasn’t sure she had just forgotten about it.
“Hon. I know it sounds bad, but he had your best interests at heart. He always did.”
I scoffed. “And yet, you always defend him, even when you know he was wrong. Thanks for the information. I will call this person and go from there. By the way, I am working on your orders now. I should have a few to send to you tomorrow.”
Mom sighed. “Thanks, Hon. How’s school?”
I shook my head. Typical Mom, avoiding my criticism, and deflecting the conversation back to me. “Not good. I haven’t been
able to be in class because of everything going on. I need to go, Mom. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye, Hon. I love you.” She sounded sad and resigned. Good. I hope she understood how betrayed I felt, and why.
“Love you, too, Mom.” I automatically answered before I hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes. After a second or two, the phone dinged with the promised text.
I decided to talk to David and Travis before I called this person, to see if they knew them, and what they thought of this whole thing. The feeling in my gut was telling me that there was more to this than I was seeing. Dad never did anything without cause, even when he was preparing for all possible scenarios. For it to come up seemingly out of the blue meant that something happened to make him think I may not be safe.
I started working on the next earring, and worked my way through the rest of the orders fairly quickly. All in all, it took me about an hour and a half to finish two sets of earrings and 3 necklaces. Just as I finished up the last necklace, another order came in, this one for an intricate bracelet. It would take a while to make, so I decided to leave it for the next day.
After cleaning up my supplies, I packed up the finished jewelry and put them in a box I could mail to Mom. I glanced around the room. My boxes were stacked randomly all around, but it was the best I could do for the moment. I was starving again, so I decided to go upstairs and make something to eat. I headed for the door, but just as I reached for it, it swung open, hitting my hand hard.
“Owwwww! Fuck! That hurt,” I exclaimed, while shaking my hand.
A Glint of Shadoewynne: Book 1 of the Shadoewynne Series Page 10
