The last sentence made tears burst in her eyes, and she gasped, shocked at the sudden flow. It wasn’t that she felt bad for herself. Oh no. She was just so...mad. At him, at what he was trying to push away, at herself, for doing the same to him.
Sari pulled up in front of a small roadside pasalubong center that promised the best buko pie in Batangas. The vendor looked like he was about to approach, but by then Sari was full-on crying, and it made him step back.
Emotions were pulling her down in their riptide, rollicking and rolling, tossing her in every direction. But oddly enough, they were emotions that Sari was familiar with, ones she’d fought against for so long.
Then she took a deep, shaky breath, and kicked against the tide.
“We can’t all have people who always want to be around us, who want us to be around. So go home for Christmas, open your new shop, get everything you’ve ever wanted and everything you deserve. Don’t be afraid.”
“Stop it,” there was barely a second of silence before he leapt in. “Sari, stop acting like you’re being this...this martyr for me when you’re the one who’s scared! I told you, things don’t have to change that much. I can still be here. You’re the one who is too scared to admit that you want to make me stay. You be selfish! Fight me on this! Demand more because you deserve it!”
She didn’t know how to respond to that. Honestly, she didn’t, because nobody had ever told her that before.
“You don’t believe me, that’s fine. Push me away. Like you always will.”
She sucked in a breath, because that hurt. She’d closed her own life off for so long that to have someone see right through her was absolutely horrible.
Her fingers hovered over her phone, tempted to end this conversation. But damn, that would just be proving his point, wouldn’t it? On a scale of one to ten, how petty could she be?
“Sari?”
“I’m fine,” she snapped, pulling tissue from the box she kept on the dashboard and blotting it against her eyes and her runny nose. “Or I will be. But this is not your concern right now. Your sisters are in your bakery, finding out about this whole secret life you had, and I’m sure they’re worried. Rose called me. I didn’t know that they were planning on coming alone. She and Iris sounded worried about you. So be the kuya and talk to her.”
Then she hung up. There was only so much her heart could take right now.
Without missing a beat, she rolled down her window and smiled at the small group of onlookers that had now gathered at the passenger side window. For a brief moment, her brain told her to be alert, this was dangerous. You never knew what could happen.
“M’am, are you all right?” A woman who wore her hair in a bun exactly like her grandmother used to had approached the car, approached Sari like she was a wounded animal.
“I just got off the phone with my ex,” the truth spilled out, and really, she shouldn’t have said that.
“Get this girl a glass of water!” the woman said to nobody in particular, and the crowd scattered. Moments later, Sari was sipping water while Kylo poked his head out the open window and barked at the passers-by, as if to ask her why they were stopped in the middle of nowhere.
“Thank you,” she said after she finished greedily drinking the contents of the glass.
“Of course, hija. It’s Christmas, after all.”
Sari looked at the stall and watched the way their makeshift drinking straw and soda can parols danced in the breeze. She smiled, and turned to the woman. She pursed her lips in the direction of the buko pie.
“How much for ten boxes?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
December 23
Gabriel glared down at his two sisters, the both of them giving him furtive glances as they continued to munch on their paninis from La Spezia and tablea made by Café Cecilia with chocolate from Kira’s. They were sitting in the spot in his bakery near the window, therefore giving the entire neighborhood a full view of Gabriel’s big reunion with his family.
Reunion or haranguing? Gabriel was still trying to decide.
Don’t get him wrong, he was thrilled to see Rose and Iris again. He was actually surprised they figured it out—he would have thought Mindy would beat them to the punch. But they couldn’t think that what they did was right, or smart. Nobody had known where they were, what they were doing, where they were going, and he was seeing red at the thought of them possibly getting hurt.
Which was why his first instinct was to find someone to blame. And he’d blamed Sari. And now she was never going to talk to him again. Shit.
He sighed deeply and collapsed into the chair between them, picking up a panini and eating. Ivy opened up her backpack and placed a jar with a piece of tape on it that said Belinda on the table. Gabriel recognized it immediately.
“You brought my starter,” he said, almost cradling the thing in his arms. He already had one going upstairs, but Belinda was just a little more funky. “She’s still active.”
“Yeah, you think we would knowingly kill your little pet?” Rose asked. “Give us some credit, Kuya?”
“Are you going to call Ate Lily or Ate Daisy?” Iris said in a tiny voice. If Gabriel didn’t know any better, he would think she said it like that intentionally to get him to side with her. Ah, the magic of the youngest kids. “Because they know, don’t they? They always know. And you guys keep everything from us.”
“I haven’t decided yet,” he grumbled in between bites. “And of course they know. Because I was responsible enough to tell someone where I was going.”
“Yeah, but Ate Rose and I didn’t lie, so...”
“You shouldn’t have yelled at Ate Sari,” Rose jumped in, more confident than Gab had ever heard her. “It’s not her fault we found you.”
“I know.”
“And you shouldn’t have lied about where you are,” she added, because she was on a roll, and far be it from Gab to stop her when Rose was on a roll. “It’s not my job to explain Dad’s feelings to try to justify them, but you can be just as irrational as he is. And, I like to think that he says these things because he cares for you, you know? Why else would I be able to get a history degree, of all things?”
“Because you love history and research, and you couldn’t have been anything else,” Gab pointed out, and it was the truth. Rose was one of the smartest people he knew, able to bring up facts and absorb things at the drop of a hat, which was what made her a much better member of the debate team than he had ever been.
“And you love baking, and you couldn’t have been anything else,” Rose insisted, smiling. Gab fought the sudden urge to hug her, because she was so smart. When did the little kids get so smart?
“Speaking of baking,” Iris said, lowering her cup of tsokolate. “Kuya, can we please have some of those pain au chocolat? Or the cookies? Or the cupcakes? Or that cake, oh my God. Is that mango?”
Gab leaned back against his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at his littlest sister.
“Or...not?” she asked.
“Go ahead. But just one.”
“You’re starting to sound like Mom and Dad. And Ate Lily. And Ate Daisy. I have too many authority figures in my life,” Iris complained, getting up from her seat and marching to the counter, where Ransom was watching their reunion with great interest. “It’s probably why I’ve never had a girlfriend yet!”
Gab turned to Rose, and waited. He could sense that his sister had more to say.
“Kuya, are you really not dating Ate Sari?” Rose asked. Gabriel breathed through the shock the question sent to his heart, and the pain that still lingered there. “I mean, I saw the video. I don’t know a lot about love, but that was so sweet.”
“She is sweet, isn’t she,” Gabriel sighed. Thinking about Sari three weeks ago had been frustrating. Two weeks ago it was with equal parts affection and kilig. Now it was just
...hurt. That someone who he thought understood him, didn’t get him at all. “I don’t know, Rose. I thought she was going to be supportive of my plans, but she kind of flipped on me.”
“You can’t always expect an exact reaction from someone, Kuya. I mean, look at what happened with Dad, and with us. You thought we were just going to sit back and let you do things alone?” she asked, and Gabriel remembered that at Rose’s age, he’d insisted to his father that he was going to make a living out of baking. Had he been that...young? Woah. He also remembered what Sari said, about having people who loved him and came here for him. What she didn’t seem to realize was she had those people too. And he wanted to show her that.
“I guess not,” he said, grinning at his sister. “I mean, I did miss you guys testing my bakes.”
“And I miss your cupcakes!” Ivy exclaimed from behind the counter, holding one in each hand. Oh boy. She was going to be a sugar-run nightmare for the drive back to Manila.
“Are you coming home with us, Kuya?” Rose asked, smiling expectantly like she’d read his mind.
“Yeah,” he said, reaching out to tug her ear. “I’m coming home.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
December 24, Noche Buena
Christmas Eve was Sari’s favorite night of the year. The festivities were in full swing all around the Philippines. Karaoke machines came alive, lights came on, lechon was roasted and shared, boxes of pie distributed to her staff and suppliers. The Misa de Gallo had the Cathedral almost bursting with people, some in ordinary, everyday clothes, some dressed up in their Sunday best, all huddled with their families and loved ones to celebrate the last mass the midnight before Christmas. Sari, Sam and Selene had attended together, choosing the least terrifying statue to stand near, bringing huge hand fans to stave off the heat that came from the crowd.
After mass and a short walk back to the house, the three Tomas sisters watched a special report that Sam streamed on her phone, showing residents and tourists in Baguio all bundled up in scarves and beanies, reporting a new low of twelve degrees Celsius.
“It’s happening,” Sam insisted, pointing at the screen, still in full makeup while wearing pajama pants and a tank top. “Global warming! The next thing we know we’re getting snow for Christmas!”
“Now that I would like to see,” Sari said, taking a huge bite of her pan de sal stuffed with quezo de bola and cured fiesta ham as she slid into the empty space on the couch between her sisters. All three of them were dressed in silk bed robes from Lola Rosario, so special they only used them for Christmas. They had fuzzy slippers on and were eating as much as they could. In the corner, the belen was practically glowing, with the Baby Jesus, a chocolate bunny, nestled in his manger.
Just another classic Christmas in the Tomas house.
“Trust me, you don’t,” Selene jumped in, taking a bite off the buko pie in her hand. Noche Buena in the Tomas house was traditionally a utensil-free affair, because Lola Rosario hadn’t had the heart to ask her maids to wash dishes on Christmas Eve. Nowadays, it was mostly because the sisters were lazy. But it was always about the silk robes and pajamas while you stuffed yourself with Christmas food.
“Take the buko pie away from me, I love it too much.”
“Of course Ate Selene likes the least sweet dessert,” Sam joked, returning to the living room with a bowl of sopas, macaroni, hot dog slices, shredded chicken and all. “And I notice someone is hoarding the brazo de mercedes.”
“Hoy, it’s Christmas, no judgements.” Sari waved her sticky spoon at Sam. She couldn’t help it, brazo was one of her favorite desserts. She thought it was brilliant, making a fluffy meringue roll from the egg whites and using the yolks to make a custard filling. Nothing wasted. Not to mention it was always sweet and dissolved like clouds in her mouth.
Her mother used to tell her that sugar clung to your thighs and never went away. Well, Sari had tried to stay away from sugar for two years, and her thighs were still pretty damn big. So no time like the present.
And if the brazo de mercedes reminded her of Gabriel, well, she was really good at pushing that particular thought aside.
“Exchange gifts!” Sam announced, leaping up from her spot on the floor to head for the Christmas tree.
“We don’t exchange gifts until midnight,” Selene reminded her, walking over to the food table to pick up a slice of ham from the platter and eat it. Lola Rosario was probably turning in her grave at the sight of her granddaughters eating without toothpicks, at least.
“New tradition! The three of us exchange gifts now, and we can open all of these other gifts in an hour or two. And as previously discussed, I claim all the gift baskets with food. I need food.”
“What you need is a roommate, so you don’t go stir crazy.” Sari was now cradling her second brazo slice. “And so they can make sure the house doesn’t fall to total ruin.”
Sam gasped a little too dramatically. “I am a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to pick up after her!”
“Nobody was taking about a man-roommate. Do you remember hearing me talk about a man-roommate?” Sari asked Selene, who shrugged innocently. “But okay, let’s exchange gifts. My gift to you is a trash can, because you can never have too many trash cans.”
She pointed to the Christmas tree, where at the very back, three pretty trash bins in the shape of three different dogs were waiting for Sam. Her little sister squealed and jumped up, hugging Sari before she took the cans and made Kylo sit next to them.
“I love it! Oh my God, I can’t tell the difference,” Sam said, snapping a thousand photos. “And don’t worry, Ate. I’ll be here every weekend. And I’m in your shop so often, it’ll be like nothing changed.”
“Things have changed though,” Sari insisted, shaking her head. She turned to Selene, who was looking at her like she was waiting for Sari to say something more. “But I know it’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”
The bright, beaming smile on Sam’s face had more sparkle than a Christmas tree. She hugged her sister again, and looped Selene into the hug. Who would have thought a phone call by the beach did wonders for one’s emotional health?
“I might as well tell you both too,” Selene said, her chin still resting on top of Sam’s chest. “My gift to you, Sam, is actually joint with Sari’s. And mine. Sort of.”
“Huh?”
“I got the three of us tickets to Paris for this April,” she announced. “I planned a whole route from France to Italy where we end up in Rome, but...if there’s anything you guys want to change, I can be...flexible.”
Sam winced. “Oof, Ate, you sound like you just took a bullet.”
“Wait, you’re saying we’re taking a vacation, just the three of us?” Sari asked, reaching a hand up to cover Sam’s mouth. Selene smiled and nodded.
“Merry Christmas, Sari.”
“Ate Selene got Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future-d!” Sam managed to wriggle her mouth free of Sari’s hand.
“...what?” Selene asked her.
“What? Wasn’t that what the movie was called?”
* * *
After Noche Buena, it was already well past two in the morning. The sisters popped open a bottle of wine and rang in Christmas with a bang and a semi-impromptu Greatest Hits of Christmas dance party. Soon enough, the noise died down, the neighbors were still going strong on the karaoke, and Sari found herself wandering out to the balcony, nursing a cup of barako and just one more slice of brazo. Oh well. The rest of the year was there to make up for the holidays anyway.
She curled her feet under her, listening to the Cathedral bells celebrating the birth of Jesus, and took a sip of coffee. Barako was sharp and acidic when you drank it, but it had a way of warming you from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, like a very sudden, very fierce hug.
Sari smiled.
Her phone chimed.
&n
bsp; Rose Capras (@CapRoselia) is now following you!
Intrigued, Sari tapped Rose’s photo, and videos from Capras Christmas came on-screen. Clearly the Caprases turned Christmas into a huge affair, the background showed off bright twinkle lights, a much bigger tree that Sari had ever owned, and infinitely more presents. There was a lot of noise, a lot of screaming and singing, and a black cat running around. They were playing the same songs Sari and her sisters had just been dancing to.
“Merry Christmas!” Rose’s face appeared on camera, and behind her, three faces that looked like carbon copies of her pressed together and repeated the sentiment.
“Kuya Gab, Kuya Gab!” The camera moved and pointed to Gabriel, who was eating...a brazo de mercedes. That he probably made himself. “What did you wish for when you did Simbang Gabi?”
“And does she happen to make really good coffee?” a voice, not Rose’s, asked, and even from the camera, Sari could see Gabriel’s face turn totally red.
“Son, you’ve been holding out on us again,” a deep booming voice laughed, and Sari saw a hand clap on Gabriel’s shoulder as he smiled at someone off-camera.
“Daaaad...”
The video cut off, and Sari was pulled completely out of it, like she’d forgotten that she wasn’t with the Caprases in their bright, happy house in Alabang. She sipped her coffee again, and Selene emerged from inside the house, pulling her silk bathrobe closer to her body. Her hair was a little mussed from when Sam tried to braid it, and she was actually barefoot. It was a rare sighting of Selene Tomas with all of her guards down.
“I love Lola Rosario for giving us these, but they’re worthless against the cold,” Selene grumbled, sitting on the coffee table next to Sari and taking a bit of her cake.
“Hey!” Sari protested. “What has gotten into you, Ate?”
“I’m not sure.” Selene shrugged, leaning back on her hands as they rested behind her on the coffee table. “Peace, joy, goodwill to man? I’ve always felt more relaxed when I’m here in Lipa. Which is probably why I so rarely come here.”
Sweet on You Page 24
