by C C Monroe
“You’re the greatest thing to happen to my son.”
See that right there? The way she clings to her son? The way she speaks about him with admiration in her every word? She’s his mother. I know he wants to make things work with Gwen, but he already has a mother—a great one.
“No, he’s the greatest thing in mine.” I have had so many small, yet significant moments like this with Kathy and it’s truly built a strong bond between us. I’ve been making most wedding plans with her. We picked the flowers, the bridesmaid dress, the cake, all that together. Kathy is the most genuine human I know, and I aspire to be just like her one day.
“It’s getting late, so I need to make my way back to Portland. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She stands.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, Kathy.” She squints her nose and chuckles, hugging me and stopping for a brief second to look me over one last time.
“Kathy, that’s too formal. Call me Mom.” She winks, leaving the room. I finish gathering my things to go. I have a date tonight with one handsome man.
Shayla
“YOU LOOK STUNNING TONIGHT, BABY.” I look up from my phone and smile at my handsome fiancé. He’s wearing black jeans and a button-up, blue, long-sleeved dress shirt, looking every bit delicious. He has it buttoned all the way up under his chin, the sleeves sticking to his arms like a damn vice. Showing me the curves and dips to his strong biceps. His tan suede dress shoes are paired perfectly with the tan Rolex his father gave him. I smile at the quick memory. His hair is freshly trimmed, slicked back into a trendy style. I appreciate that he dressed to the nines just for me; it’s a sweet gesture.
“I had to look nice if I’m going to be seen around town with you. You look so hot, baby.” I reach over the console and run my hand up his toned leg to his impressive cock. I run my hand over it and for it not even being hard, it’s still big. I feel him expanding under my hand, while his lips let out a tortured moan. I pull back; I don’t want to make him suffer through dinner with a case of blue balls.
“You fuckin’ tease.” Winking at him, I re-adjust my hand on his thigh and smirk. We fall silent, and I watch the city around us move. People laughing, groups of people together, enjoying the city life. The lights alive and vibrant. The soft sounds of “Parachute” playing on the radio. My face is turned from him, listening to the sound of his sexy voice singing along. I glance over and see his steel blue eyes concentrating on the road, his one hand grabbing the steering wheel with finesse, while his other hand lightly rubs and kneads my exposed knee. He’s always touching my leg in the car, it’s a insignificant yet natural thing, but it makes me feel all gooey inside.
My eyes are torn away when we pull up to the restaurant. Running around the car and opening my door, I slide out with Trey’s help. Fixing my nude dress that’s covered in lace, the off-shoulder sleeves exposing my shoulders, just like Trey likes, I adjust it back into place. The valet takes my Audi and we make our way into the restaurant. This place is beautiful, unique three tier chandeliers, white tables with red accents. Just elegant.
We take our time picking our meals, I choose the steak with salad and like always he picks the Chicken Cordon Bleu.
“Can you believe we’re here?” I ask. He sips his wine then plays with the flute of his glass after he places it back on the table.
“Together or in life?”
“Both.” He nods his head, pursing his lips, debating his answer.
“No, honestly, it’s crazy to think just a few years ago you were graduating high school, me and Kings were working two jobs so we could have enough to make it out here. Same with you and Lana. We busted our asses, babe, to get to this place, this moment.” He leans forward, his arms crossed and elbows on the table. “But all of this”—he scans the room—”the money, the nice things, pale in comparison to the love we’ve come to have.” My grin widens.
“You still surprise me, you know?” I play with the hem of my dress. Trey and I have suffered some of the hardest trials that couples can face and yet he still makes me weak in the knees with my heart beating rapidly out of control. He has the perfect way of making tragic events something worth surviving, just to end up together in the fallen rubble stronger than before.
“How so?” He takes another sip of his wine.
“Well, one minute you’re sensitive, then the next you’re this big alpha caveman, and then boom! You’re my Mr. Romantic. I was blessed with the best of all worlds with you. You make me feel safe, you give my heart a home.” Shaking his head, he eyes me over, burning my image into his brain. The intensity of his look beyond description.
“No, baby, you give me the best of everything.” Sharing a smile, I blush, enjoying the sweet sayings he’s softly speaking to me in this wide-open room with complete strangers. The silence that falls between us is natural. Silent or speaking, I don’t care, I still feel content.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the wedding. I’m excited. You pick your dress?”
“I did actually. It’s beautiful. Kathy paid for it.” He sits back in his chair, tilting his head slightly, his face contorted.
“I gave you money, baby, to splurge. I don’t want her paying for it. How much was it, I’ll just pay her back.” I shake my head rapidly.
“No, no, no. She asked to pay for it. She said she needed to pay for it, to be—” I stop myself, I still waiver sometimes with the choice to bring up Pops, because I never really know what Trey’s reaction will be.
“To be what?” He closes his warm palm over mine. Leaning in closer.
“She needed it so she could feel closer to your father. She said that’s what he would’ve wanted.” He looks at me for a minute, his expression dull. I don’t know what is running through his mind.
“She really said that?” I trail my fingers lazily over the inside of his palm.
“She did. It was really sweet,” I say as a matter of fact.
“Mom is way too good of a person. I was thinking.” He pauses, sitting forward but still leaving his palm under mine. “I want to look into getting a house and maybe have Kathy move near us.”
“You want to get a house?” I’m baffled, although I shouldn’t be. Marriage, house…babies—those are the normal steps in every progressive relationship.
“We can’t live in separate places when we get married, can we?” he states, causing me to chuckle. I guess I never thought about leaving Lana and Kingston behind to fend for themselves. Holy shit.
“I love that idea, building a home with you.”
“We’ll start searching tomorrow, add that to our extensive list of shit to do.”
He can say that again. I’m up to my eyeballs in wedding and work; luckily, business is booming and the wedding planning is going accordingly.
“Can do, handsome.”
“Kiss me.” He leans in just a little, leaving more space for me to fill. I lean in and his lips cascade onto mine. Sucking my top lip into his mouth with a gentle effort before releasing it and letting us get back to dinner. Enjoying small talk, we avoid all things drama. No Gwen, no Lana and Kingston and their drama, nothing—except memories and happier times. On our drive home we enjoy some car karaoke, him winning like always—of course.
Flipping the light on, I desperately want to slip out of these heels and sleep like the dead, but Trey has other plans. “Kingston’s out with Lana and you look delicious in your dress, but I want to get you out of it.” His hands roam over my body, not staying in one place for more than a second. As much as I want to make love, I want to give him something. I need to give him something. All this talk tonight about old times and memories of Pops has me right where I need to be with my decision. Tonight is the night. This is it, I need to stop hiding things from him, quit sheltering my secrets, he needs to see the letter.
“Wait, baby, I need to show you something.” I put my hand on his chest to stop him.
“Oh, even better, I hope it’s more of this lace.” His fingers trace the tops of my th
ighs where the lace of my dress hits.
“No, not that. Just sit on the couch, I’ll be right back.” His cocky grin tells me he doesn’t think I’m playing serious. I really am. More than ever I feel compelled that this is the time Pops would want him to have this letter. Hurrying to my room, I open my top drawer and pull out the envelope. It weighs heavy in my hands, as do my feet as they pad back to the living room—here goes nothing.
I plant myself next to him and place my hand on his knee.
“Here.” I hand him the envelope, the creamy ivory paper looks striking against his tan, calloused hands.
“What’s this?” he asks, looking from the letter to me.
“When I cleaned out your father’s office, I found this letter. It was addressed to you. I opened it and read the first line and knew it was something you needed to read. I didn’t read too much. Just enough to understand what it’s for. Please don’t be mad. But I think you need to read this. I’ll leave you alone for a minute. I’ll be right in the other room.” I start to stand, ready to give him space, when my wrist is grabbed firmly.
“No. Please stay here with me,” he begs.
“Are you sure?” There’s vulnerability in his Caribbean blue eyes. He nods slowly. I sit back down in my spot, our bodies closer this time. Hip to hip, arm to arm, thigh to thigh, like puzzle pieces.
“Can I read it out loud?”
“You don’t have to ask me, of course you can.”
Releasing a deep breath, he opens the letter with shaky hands. I really hope this is the right time. I hope I didn’t misread how he’s doing. Clearing his throat one last time and giving me a quick, timid smile, he refocuses his eyes on the letter in front of him.
Son,
If you’re reading this, this means I was taken far too soon. I don’t know what’s harder, writing this letter or knowing that you’re reading it. I saw you yesterday and I couldn’t stop thinking about our talk, and I had this sudden urge to write this. No one thinks that they will be taken soon, and I pray that I won’t. But if I do, I know you’ll need these words to continue on without me. You sure got my emotions, I’m a mess writing this—real men cry, don’t think differently.
First, I’m really proud of you, son. So damn proud of whom you’ve become. I don’t think I told you enough in this life how amazing you are and how blessed I was to be the one to raise you. Please know that I’ll be there beside you every day, whispering to you how proud I am.
Something weighed heavy on me when you left, that I need to make sure I work with you on. If not, then hopefully you’ll work on it every day that I’m gone. You hold so much anger and fear from the past that we were subjected to. We lost your mom to the selfish things in this world, not because we weren’t good enough or rich enough. So please find it in yourself, son, to forgive her. Forgive your mother for what she did to you, because if you don’t, this darkness will swallow you whole. You’re too great of a person to live your life in darkness with demons from your past. Nothing was your fault. Please, son, please learn to forgive and accept the things that we can’t change.
Now, to the great news. I can’t believe that you finally made Shayla yours. I’m patting your back right now, do you feel that? Yeah, that’s my boy. She’s really beautiful, son, and not just her looks. Her soul and heart are so pure and ready to love you. Please let her love you with everything she can. And, Trey Joseph Adams, you better love her back, fiercely and ferociously. Let that woman know she’s yours. Remember to always say sorry first, never leave her abandoned, never say malicious things. Lastly, keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. I know you didn’t think I had that in me. But I know you and I know her, you two will face many trials, but I’ve never been more sure of two people surviving together than you two.
I’m closing this letter thinking, what do you say to someone who means everything to you? Well, here’s the best that I got. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Trey. You were a light in my life, and I never want to see that flame dull out. Continue to strive for the dreams that you are starting and please, please learn to forgive and learn to let go.
I love you, son, and I’m sorry that I didn’t get longer with you. I’ll be there every day. I will be the voice in the distance. The laughter in your children and the wind passing by. I will always love you. I’ll see you one day, but until then, make this world a better place and live for me, because I can’t anymore. I’m passing the baton. Take it proudly, son. I love you forever.
— Dad “Pops”
P.S. Take care of my Queen. Kathy was my real love, so please make sure she remembers that every day and when the time comes, support her when she finds love again. She deserves happiness.
I love you, son.
We’re both crying by the end of the letter. That was beautiful. Profoundly perfect with the words we both so desperately wanted to hear. It felt so real, like he was still here, in this room with us.
“Wow,” he says, wiping away the tears with the back of his hand. I watch the perfect man I love cry for the first time in months from…something other than pain. It warms me to know that these words brought him solace.
“Do you feel closure?” I rub circles on his taut back. His muscles bunching under the touch of my nails.
“Actually, I do. I mean it hurts a little to know that he wrote this not knowing what little time we actually had left. He had to have written it the day I went to see him to tell him about us.” He pauses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But I feel like a weight’s been lifted. That the darkness that’s been surrounding me has finally faded.”
“He’s right you know. You’re someone to be proud of. I’m proud of you for who you are and how strong you’ve been since he passed. He’s lucky to have raised you, and I’m lucky to be the one who gets to experience what an amazing job he did.”
“Baby…” His voice is a plea, like what I just said was almost painful to hear.
He grabs me, positioning me so I’m straddling him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and he lays the side of his face against my chest.
“Don’t get me wrong, losing my dad left a void, and I still miss him like crazy. But you’ve been here the whole time loving me, there’s been no crack or space in my heart that hasn’t been filled with another ounce of your love.” My heart skips a beat.
Pulling back, I’m face-to-face with my lover, my keeper, my soul. I’m lost in all he is and he’s lost in me.
“I want to fill any void you have, I want to lick your wounds, bandage your heart back together, and save you from any kind of hurt that threatens to fall on you,” I cry, moving his face from my chest and into my waiting hands. I look deep into his eyes and see the reflection of the same desires I just expressed.
“I want to be that, too. I know we can be that for each other, baby. We always have been.”
Our mouths find each other and my heart flutters. Our tongues make sweet love to one another. Lifting me, he carries me to the bedroom. Laying my body out on the bed, he stands back. Staring at me, he begins undressing me ever so slowly, the butterflies in my stomach flutter and my skin prickles with arousal. I watch in wonderment when he begins to undress. I’m so lucky to have this beautiful human as mine.
I memorize the lines of his toned body, the muscles making the perfect outline to my Greek god.
“You look like an angel, your hair spread wild around you. Your creamy tan skin glowing under the city lights. Your perfect womanly curves, so enticing.” His fingers tug gently on his lip, tracing its path with his tongue.
“I’m yours.”
“My savior,” he says, leaning over me, his knee causing the bed to sink, his strong arms casing me in, one on each side of my head. He kisses my forehead and a fresh swarm of tears fall from the corner of my eye. He kisses each one away.
“You’re the air I breathe, and sometimes I almost suffocate because it’s too damn much for me.” My breath hitches with the skipping beat of my heart. Grabbing his face, I bring his mouth to col
lide with mine. I lick against his tongue and bottom lip; it’s slow, done with delicate movements.
“Tell me you love me, Trey.”
“You want me to tell you I love you, baby, or do you want me to show you?” He spreads my legs farther apart until my knees are flat against the bed.
“Both.” Biting his lip, he nods.
“Shayla.” My name sounds off on a whispered prayer. “You like this, don’t you?” Thrusting into me with one quick motion, I squeeze down on him and throw my head back, moaning, my hand pulling at my hair. The sudden invasion feeling like it’s nearly splitting me in half.
“Oh, my love.” He bites my nipple, and I come on a cry. That came out of nowhere; I couldn’t even feel it building.
“I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he grunts in my ear with each thrust. Once I come down from my orgasm, I start to feel the raw sensation building again.
“I love you,” I shout, unafraid of who can hear me, I could wake this entire building and be proud.
“You’re greedy, you’re squeezing me tight. I won’t last long.” Grabbing my hands from his shoulders, he throws them above my head and uses them as an anchor to thrust into me hard. He’s looking down at me; the only part of our bodies touching is from our connection.
“Your tits look so fucking full, I swear they’re growing. Maybe you’re pregnant with my child.” He moans, leaning to suck the top of my round breast.
“Yes, Trey! Fill me with your cum!” I moan as my walls tighten and my toes curl. I feel him growing harder, hitting my cervix, and within seconds I’m coming again.
“Say my name while I claim you,” he groans demandingly with his eyes glued to mine. They have a scary edge to them and it’s sexy as hell.
“Trey, please, make me yours!” I bite my lip when I watch him drop his head, his mouth falling open with my name rolling off his tongue, hot spurts filling me. I think we’re finished after a brief moment of heavy breathing and feathered kisses, but the second I kiss up his neck, I feel him growing inside me again.
