by Jackie Lau
To his delight, she did smile.
“He called me by my name,” Greg continued, “without me introducing myself.”
She kissed him one more time, and then she left.
Chapter 10
“Tasha!” Her mother threw her arms around her the minute she stepped in the door. “You’re finally here.”
“It’s so good to see you, Mom.”
Tasha tried to sound upbeat. After all, she really was happy to see her mother. It had been more than two months, though they talked on the phone several times a week.
When Tasha was younger, people had often commented on her resemblance to her father, but as she got older, she looked more and more like her mother—the shape of her features, the warn undertones in her skin. Her wide smile.
“You look like you’re freezing,” Mom said. “Did that boy’s car not have any heat?”
“Oh, there was heat,” Tasha said.
Mom raised her eyebrows.
Tasha shrugged. “I’m going to make hot chocolate. You want some?”
They sat by the fire, drank their hot chocolate, and caught up on what had happened—well, some of it. But Tasha couldn’t help feeling cold on the inside, and there was nothing she could do about it, no matter how many hot beverages she drank.
Maybe having sex in a snow fort wasn’t such a great idea after all.
“Where’s Dad?” she asked.
“He’s at Lawrence’s, trying to fix their car.”
Tasha had two older brothers, her father’s sons from his first marriage. Her parents had met when they were in their mid-thirties, both of them divorced. Her mother’s first marriage had been to her high school sweetheart, who’d discouraged her from trying to go to med school like she’d wanted. Instead, she’d become a nurse, which he’d considered a more suitable career for his wife.
That was why her mother never wanted Tasha to compromise her dreams for a man. Why she’d been worried about Tasha having a serious relationship in high school, although she hadn’t forbidden her from dating.
“We had a good time together, Greg and I,” Tasha ventured at last.
“Did you, now. What, exactly, did you do?”
Tasha looked down at her nearly-empty mug and tried to hide her smile. “He wants to see me again while we’re both in Mosquito Bay for the holidays.”
“And you said?”
“Maybe.”
“Hmm.”
It was irritating when her mom did that.
“What?” Tasha asked.
“If you had a good time together,” Mom said slowly, “then why don’t you know if you want to see him again?”
“Because he’s my ex! It ended once before.”
Mom didn’t say anything, just sipped her hot chocolate.
“I’m thirty-four,” Tasha said. “I don’t want to waste time on having a little fun. I’d like to settle down.”
She thought she’d have someone by now. Instead, people would kindly pat her on the back and tell her that she’d find a man soon enough. They might also tell her to lower her expectations. Or try harder.
And she wanted to tear her hair out in frustration. Had these people seen what the dating market was like? Even finding a half-decent guy seemed like a miracle, never mind someone who gave her a spark.
Which she had with Greg. Oh, she definitely did.
“You think I should give him another chance?” she asked.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Mom said. “It’s what you want.”
Tasha groaned, and her mom laughed.
“We fight all the time,” Tasha said.
“But do you really?”
“Well...” She supposed her mom had a point. They hadn’t fought about the big things, the important things. They bantered about stupid shit like Christmas carols. And all couples fought sometimes—even her parents. There was nothing wrong with that. “But I can’t get back together with an ex. Everyone knows that doesn’t turn out well, and it was a disaster for me and Lance. Why should I think this is different?”
“Why did you and Greg break up the first time?”
“Because we were going to different schools and drifting apart. I also didn’t like the idea of having only been with one guy, you know? I was nineteen, and I thought I should get more experience.”
“But all of that’s changed now. You have jobs in the same city.”
“Still, I can’t help thinking that if it was meant to be, we would have figured it out the first time.”
Though it was nothing like Monique and Joey. He’d screwed up, she’d broken up with him. Then later she forgave him and let him have another chance, and he’d screwed up again. It was a similar story with Tasha and Lance. She’d needed him to change, and he hadn’t.
Greg had changed a little over the years, but he was still basically the same—and in his case, that was good. He’d always treated her well.
Tasha shoved her hands into her hair. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t, either,” Mom said, “but you shouldn’t refuse to consider him just because second chances have failed in the past.”
Perhaps her mother had a point.
A lot of things had worked out well for Tasha. She loved her career now. The work environment at her previous job hadn’t been ideal, but she was happy with her current job, and she had good friends in Toronto.
Everything had worked out except her love life.
She didn’t let herself have regrets. Look forward, never back. That was how she lived. Part of the reason for this was that after her break-up with Greg, she’d wallowed for several weeks, replaying all of their time together in her head, wondering if they’d done the right thing. Then she’d picked herself up and moved on with her life, and she’d started to feel more like herself again.
Still, she’d thought of Greg over the years. In fact, she’d found herself thinking, It wasn’t as good as it was with Greg many times—and not just about sex. And every time, she’d assumed she was wrong.
But now, they’d spent almost twenty-four hours together. Now, she knew she hadn’t been kidding herself.
It really was good with Greg.
She’d told herself they were too different, they weren’t compatible. And yes, they were opposites in some ways, but saying they weren’t compatible would be a lie. A lie that she’d told herself so she could move on.
But maybe, in this case, looking to the past was the best way forward.
* * *
As soon as Greg opened the door to his childhood home, everyone descended on him.
“What took you so long?” Nick asked. “Were you off making out somewhere?”
“So, how’d it go, lover boy?” That was Zach. “Did you have a good time getting trapped in that snowstorm?”
“I made the snowstorm happen!” Ah Ma said. “I have magic powers!”
Dad rolled his eyes. “Ma, surely if you had magic powers you would use some of them to improve your cooking.”
She sniffed. “They are very specific magic powers. For love.”
“Greg,” Mom said, “why didn’t you bring Tasha here for a little visit?”
“She wanted to see her family.”
Perhaps he spoke a little irritably. Everyone was giving him funny looks now.
“You know,” Nick said, putting one arm around Lily’s shoulder, “I’m an expert at relationships now. If you need any advice, just ask.”
“A two-and-a-half-month relationship does not make you an expert,” Zach said.
“I have been married over sixty years!” Ah Ma raised her hand in the air. “I am the true expert. Plus, I have magic powers. Please, tell your ah ma what happened.” She gestured to her ear. “You can tell me, no one else. I will keep your secret!”
“You are terrible at keeping secrets,” Dad said. “What about the time—”
“Enough,” Greg howled, and everyone stared at him, not used to hearing him speak so loudly. “I asked if I could see her again, she
said maybe, end of story. Now, please leave me alone.”
“I’ll heat up some food for you,” Mom said.
Finally, a suggestion he actually liked.
He spent ten minutes eating his grandfather’s famous noodles while his family jabbered around him. Normally, he would enjoy his food—Ah Yeh’s noodles were delicious. But right now, he just wanted to take off his sweater and eat another donut covered in powdered sugar.
Jesus. He really was losing it.
Afterward, he stalked upstairs to his childhood bedroom and closed the door. There wasn’t much in his old room. Just the furniture remained. All the stuff had been cleared out long ago.
Except for one red gift box in the bottom drawer of the dresser.
He pulled it out and sat down on his bed as he looked at the contents.
For Valentine’s Day in their final year of high school, Tasha had gotten him a box of valentines. Not just one or two—no, she’d gotten him fifty valentines, all with handwritten messages. It must have taken her ages.
He couldn’t bear to throw them out, but he hadn’t wanted them with him in Toronto. So he kept them here.
It had been many years since he’d looked at them, but now he took them out, one at a time. There was a Lady and the Tramp valentine, another with a cute puffin, one with a terrible chemistry joke.
“Whatcha doing?” Nick asked, waltzing into the room without knocking.
A man couldn’t get a minute’s peace around here, could he?
“Nothing,” Greg muttered, shoving the box under the quilt.
“Sure doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Things Tasha gave me in high school, that’s all. None of your business.”
“Fine, fine. I won’t pry into your life.”
That didn’t sound like his family.
He waited for Nick to try to grab the box, but it didn’t happen.
“I was jealous of you in high school,” Nick said.
Greg snorted. “You? Jealous of me?”
“Yeah, why not? You weren’t cool—”
“Gee, thanks,” Greg muttered, but Nick’s words were just a statement of fact. He had never been cool, not one bit.
“—but you didn’t care what anyone else thought, and you had a girlfriend.”
“Did you have a crush on Tasha?”
“Nah, I was just envious that you got a girl’s attention.”
Right. It was hard to remember that back in the day, Nick hadn’t been popular. High school was so long ago now.
Greg and Tasha...also so long ago.
But he didn’t want to be with her simply because he had fond memories of the past. They’d spent time together as adults now, and he’d enjoyed every minute of it, even when she’d insisted on singing “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
“You slept with her, didn’t you?” Nick pulled up a chair and sat on it backward.
Greg grunted.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Why don’t you take it as a none-of-your-business?”
Just then, the door opened again, and their father stepped into the room.
“If you want to have a party,” Greg muttered, “could you please do it somewhere else?”
“He’s moping over Tasha,” Nick said.
“That’s what I figured.” Dad took a seat on the bed next to Greg. “I liked you and Tasha together. You complemented each other. I thought you’d be like me and your mom.”
Greg grunted again.
“You know,” Dad said, “we didn’t date continuously from the time we started going out in grade eleven. At one point, we took a break for several months.”
Greg had to admit he was a little intrigued by this.
“We were eighteen,” Dad continued. “Not quite sure what we wanted. There was another guy who was interested in her... Anyway, that didn’t last. I’m just saying, when you fall in love when you’re so young and you don’t really know yourself yet, it can be tricky. I still think it could work out for you.”
“Hmm.”
“Sometimes it’s useful to speak actual words,” Nick said.
“I can’t think clearly while I’m talking.”
Nick and Dad were quiet for a minute. It was still difficult for Greg to think properly when he wasn’t alone, but yes, he did want to see Tasha again. Desperately. He loved her; he loved who she’d become.
“So tell me what happened,” Nick said, breaking the silence. “The weekend went well, and you casually asked if you could see her again, maybe meet up for coffee?”
“That’s right,” Greg said. “She said no.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with what you did—”
“Glad it meets your approval.”
“—but you aren’t the most eloquent person,” Nick finished. “Maybe you need to really show her how you feel. Not sexually, though.”
“Thanks for the clarification.”
“Like, show her that you don’t just want to grab coffee together, but you want more. Because you do, right?”
“Yeah.” So much more.
“And, like, you’re both getting old. I mean, you’re thirty-four—”
“I know how old I am.”
“And she’s probably looking to settle down, maybe have kids. It’s different from when you were teenagers.”
Zach walked into the room. “What are we talking about?”
“Trying to find something nice for Greg to do for Tasha.”
“Excellent. Maybe you could set up a special model train for her. Like, make it go through a love forest. Or love mountain.”
“Um,” Greg said.
Tasha would probably think it was cute, but it would take far too much time to get all the materials and set it up. He needed a better idea.
She’d said she didn’t believe in second chances for relationships, but he had to try one last time. Tell her how he truly felt. Put it all out there.
“What about a really big cookie?” Nick suggested.
“That’s your genius idea? Just one big cookie?”
“Everyone loves cookies. You baked a few times for Tasha, I remember.”
“You could go birdwatching together,” Zach said, “and, uh, find a really great bird for her. Or put up a banner under the sign for Mosquito Bay.”
“No,” Nick said. “Too public. He won’t go for that.”
Mom and Amber entered the room.
“What are we doing?” Mom asked.
Greg pinched his forehead in frustration, then walked over to the window and looked outside. The blue sky and sunshine were gone. Instead, it was overcast, and it looked like it could possibly snow again—and more snow was just what they needed.
Though he had an odd affection for snowstorms now, having been trapped in one with Tasha Edwards.
All that snow gave him an idea.
“I know what to do,” he said, turning to his family, “but I’m going to need some help.”
Everyone nodded.
His family drove him batshit crazy, but he could always count on them.
“Okay, here’s the plan.”
* * *
It was almost midnight. Tasha’s parents had gone to bed.
As a child, she’d bounced with excitement on Christmas Eve, looking forward to Santa Claus’s arrival and wishing for the best presents. She’d always tried to stay up late so she could see Santa and his reindeer, but she’d never made it.
Now, she was holding the gold necklace that she’d stashed in her ballerina jewelry box many years before. There was no other jewelry in the box, just the necklace.
The one that had made Greg hate Christmas music.
For two years, she’d worn it every day. She would squeeze her fist around it when she suddenly, inexplicably, felt a wave of longing for him during a lecture or lab.
Just like the way she longed for him now.
She wrapped her hand around the pendant and made her Christmas wish.
Chapter 11
/> On Christmas morning, Tasha was eating pancakes with maple syrup and drinking her second cup of coffee when there was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it.” Her father started to stand, but he wasn’t as spry as he’d once been.
“No, I will.” Tasha jumped up, hoping it was Greg.
But it wasn’t.
The man looked a bit like Greg, but he was a couple inches shorter and wasn’t wearing glasses. Plus, his smile was all wrong.
“Nick?” Tasha said. She hadn’t seen him in years.
“Hey, Tasha.”
Why was Nick on the doorstep?
“Is something wrong?” Her words came out in a rush.
“No, everything’s fine. I just have something to show you. Can you come with me now? Or if you want to spend Christmas morning with your family...” He peeked inside and waved at her parents.
“I’ll go.”
She gulped down the rest of her coffee, hugged her mom and dad, put on her winter clothes, and headed outside with Nick. It was a nice morning, like it had been yesterday. Partly sunny with some clouds in the sky. Not much wind coming off the lake.
Nick led her down Main Street, where the lampposts were decorated with wreaths, then down another street, toward Lake Huron.
Compared to Toronto, it was a tiny speck of a town. Neither of her parents were from Mosquito Bay, but it was in between her father’s old auto shop and the hospital where her mom had worked. It was also not far from where her father’s ex-wife had lived, so it was easy for him to see his sons.
Tasha hadn’t minded growing up here, though she hadn’t looked like most of the other kids. But she preferred her life in Toronto, only coming back to visit her family.
“Where are we going?” she asked Nick, hugging her arms around herself.
“Almost there,” he said.
She refused to hope too much, but she had a feeling...
They entered the park where she and Greg had made the snow fort yesterday. There were a bunch of kids sledding on the hill, a few kids making a snowman, and some people standing around, looking at—
What on earth?
Their little snow tower was now part of the most magnificent snow fort she’d ever seen. It was like a castle.
Her gloved hand came up to her face. “He did this for me? How long did it take?”
