Cuddly Holocaust

by Carlton Mellick III

  Trying to act natural, Julie stepped toward the prisoners, pacing casually across the dirt with the barrel of her machine gun pointed at the ground. She had to fit in somehow, give herself a job. Since nobody was watching the prisoners, she felt it was the perfect role for her.

  But as she arrived, she realized there already was a guard, sitting against a tree trunk with his rifle pointed at the humans. It was a koala bear.

  “What happened back there?” asked the koala as Julie approached.

  “Explosion,” Julie said.

  “Did it get anyone?” he asked.

  “It got everyone,” Julie said. “They’re all dead.”

  The koala laughed. He must have thought she was joking.

  One of the prisoners recognized Julie. It was a middle-aged woman. Her eyes lit up when she saw the panda standing before them. Julie broke eye contact with her immediately. She couldn’t let any of them break her cover.

  “Julie?” cried the woman, her voice hysterical. “Is that you?”

  Julie just ignored her.

  “It is you!” cried the woman. She turned to the other prisoners. “It’s the weird girl, remember? She’s come to save us!”

  The woman was so frantic that she had no idea what she was doing. The koala heard every word she said.

  “What is she talking about?” the koala asked.

  The woman inched forward. “You have to cut us loose. Get us out of here. You can’t let them take us.”

  “Nothing,” Julie said. She pulled out one of her pistols. “She’s just crazy.”

  Then she shot the koala in the head.

  “It is you!” the middle-aged woman cried as she saw the koala’s body fall to the dirt. “I knew it! I knew you’d save us!”

  “Keep your voice down,” Julie said, going toward the woman.

  “Thank you,” the woman cried. “Thank you, God.”

  Julie cut the woman loose and then handed her the pistol.

  “Get out of here,” she told her.

  The woman stood up, looking down at the gun in her hands.

  “What about the kids?” she asked.

  “They’ll only slow you down,” Julie said. “I’ll take care of them. Just go. Now.”

  The woman turned and ran. Before she got fifteen feet, Julie raised her MP5 and fired. The prisoners screamed. She was dead before her body hit the dirt.

  Then Julie stared at the other prisoners with a very serious look in her eyes. They cowered beneath her.

  “I’ve been waiting far too long for this,” Julie said. “I won’t let any of you mess it up for me.”

  The prisoners just stared at her like she was a monster. When she saw the looks in their eyes, the look of hope vanishing and replaced by fear, she lowered her head.

  “I’m sorry,” she told them. “There’s nothing I can do.”

  As she walked away from the prisoners, a bulldog in an aviator helmet rushed toward her.

  “What happened?” he asked in an electronic cockney accent.

  “One of the prisoners had a gun,” Julie said. She didn’t look back as she walked.

  “But they were clean,” said the bulldog. “I checked them myself.”

  “You must have missed one,” Julie said.

  The bulldog looked down at the koala’s body and back at Julie.

  “But—” the bulldog began.

  Julie didn’t stop moving. She knew the bulldog wouldn’t follow her. He had to stay and watch the prisoners.

  “I’m out of here, squirt,” Poro said to Julie.

  The stuffed panda woke her up in the middle of the night to say his goodbye. A tiny backpack was wrapped around his fluffy shoulders. He wore a black raincoat and little boots.

  “You’re leaving?” she said.

  He nodded his tiny head. “It’s the only way. I’m not about to let them put me to death just because of what a few idiot toys did to some snot-nosed brats.”

  “But what are you going to do?” she asked.

  “I’ll get by, kid,” he said. “Don’t worry about me.”

  Julie jumped out of bed.

  “Wait,” she said. “I’m coming with you.”

  The panda pushed on her kneecaps.

  “No,” he said. “You stay here.”

  She kneeled down to look at Poro in his black beady eyes.

  “I don’t want to be without you,” she said. “You promised we’d be together forever.”

  “Forget about me, kid,” Poro said. “You’ve got a big future ahead of you here. Besides, I don’t need no runt tagging along and cramping my style.”

  He wiped a tear from Julie’s eye.

  “I’ll never forget you,” Julie said.

  “Me neither, kid,” said the panda. “If the heat dies down someday maybe I’ll come back for a visit.”

  She hugged him again and rubbed her moist eyelids against his fluffy shoulder.

  “But grow some tits, would ya?” said the panda. “Your forceful snuggles wouldn’t be so bad if you had knockers the size of your mom’s.”

  Julie just nodded her head at him, as if she had a clue what he was talking about.

  Then the stuffed panda gave her a salute, climbed out the window, and wiggled his way down the tree trunk outside. Julie could barely make out his tiny form as he crossed the front lawn and escaped into the cold windy night.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Hiding behind the stack of supplies, Julie pretended to be doing inventory as she counted how many smart-toys were still alive. There appeared to be only five of them left. Besides the bulldog and the turtle medic, there was a purple bunny, a kangaroo with an eyepatch, and a lofty sunflower with stringy green limbs. They were gathered around the entrance of the bunker. Julie had no idea what they were doing until they pulled a giant blackened body out of the smoke. It was the corpse of General Griz.

  “Panda, over here,” yelled the turtle medic, waving Julie over. They needed her help.

  She went to them and assisted in carrying the giant teddy bear’s body into the grass, trying not to make eye contact or bring attention to herself. Black soot crumbled from his charred flesh into her white fur. The smell of burnt fabric permeated her mask’s nose holes, causing an irritation in her nostrils. She wasn’t sure if plushies were able to sneeze, but if the irritation got any worse she wouldn’t be able to hold back.

  “Is he dead?” the kangaroo asked the turtle in a low snarling voice.

  Julie didn’t like the look of the kangaroo. He was covered in battle scars and wore black leather pads of armor over his gray suit. Twin samurai swords hung over his shoulder. And he had a permanent angry look on his face as if the creature was constantly pissed off. Of all the stuffed animals left alive, he was the one she had to look out for.

  “His destruct mechanism hasn’t been activated yet,” said the turtle in a meek nasally voice, examining the bear’s body. “There might still be a chance.”

  “The guy’s a corpse,” said the purple bunny, a female plushy with fat floppy ears and a sniper rifle in her arms. She didn’t bother helping the others, too busy applying black makeup to her bitchy frowning lips. “You’re wasting your time.”

  “He’s your commanding officer,” said the kangaroo. “Have some respect.”

  The bunny just lifted her large fluffy breasts at him and sneered. Julie assumed it was her way of flipping someone off.

  “He’s still breathing,” the turtle said, his ear to the bear’s chest. “If we can get him back soon enough he might just live.”

  That’s the last thing Julie wanted to hear. She drew deep breaths, trying not to let the anxiety get to her. She knew the General would give her away the second he regained consciousness, but there was no telling if that would ever happen. He could die at any second. No matter what happened she couldn’t panic. Her cover was not yet blown.

  While the other stuffed animals searched the smoking bunker for survivors, Julie was ordered to keep guard up top with the bunny woman. She trie
d to ignore the purple plushy by putting her attention elsewhere, by cleaning her weapon, but the rabbit just stared down at her with a snooty look on her face.

  “I don’t know you, do I?” asked the rabbit, brushing her floppy ears out of her face like bangs.

  Julie shrugged.

  “I thought I knew all the women in this unit,” she said. “What’s your name?”

  “Poro,” Julie said.

  “Poro the Panda…” The bunny looked into the air, thinking about it. “Maybe I do know you. I kind of remember meeting a Poro once.”

  “I try to keep to myself,” Julie said.

  She couldn’t tell if the bunny girl was suspicious or just making small talk.

  The rabbit yelled across the yard to the bulldog watching the prisoners, “Hey Choppy, do you know Poro in our unit?”

  The bulldog looked over to her.

  He yelled, “I do believe I remember hearing about a panda named Poro, yes. But I assumed he was a man.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” said the bunny. She looked down at Julie. “You didn’t get your gender reassigned recently did you? I heard they’ve been doing that a lot lately. Not enough females to go around.”

  Julie shook her head.

  “Poro says she’s always been a woman,” the bunny yelled to the bulldog.

  The bulldog shrugged.

  “Maybe that’s why I didn’t know about you,” the bunny said to Julie. “I must have thought you were a guy. You kind of have the body of a guy. You don’t have the feminine curves that I have.”

  The bunny rubbed her fluffy paws down her hourglass figure. Although cartoonish and distorted, the stuffed animal did have more of a womanly figure than Julie. This annoyed Julie for some reason.

  “At least I don’t have a huge gut like yours,” Julie said.

  The bunny rubbed her purple belly.

  “But I’ve got a baby bunny in the oven,” she said. “Of course my stomach is going to be large.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Julie asked.

  The idea shocked her. She had no idea the stuffed animals were able to reproduce. They really were becoming living beings.

  “Of course I am,” said the bunny. “You’re not?”

  Julie shook her head.

  “It’s your duty as a woman to breed,” said the bunny. “We need to increase our numbers as a species.”

  Julie didn’t know what to say. She just shrugged.

  “We should get you knocked up,” said the bunny. She yelled at the bulldog. “Hey Choppy, want to knock up the panda?”

  Choppy raised his ears at her.

  “No thanks,” Julie said, waving her hands and shaking her head.

  “Are you sure? It doesn’t take long. You two could probably finish by the time the others get back.”

  “I’d rather wait,” said Julie.

  “You’re missing out,” said the rabbit, rubbing her stomach. “This is my third one. It’s really amazing how they grow inside of you. I can feel it moving sometimes.” She smiled at her belly. “My little baby bunny…”

  Julie tried to smile, but her mask didn’t allow for much facial expression. The bunny finally introduced herself as Velvetta, though she preferred to be called Velvet. Julie couldn’t tell if that was because her plushy hide was made of purple velvet or if it was a reference to the Velveteen Rabbit story from her childhood. Either way, it was easy to remember.

  “So I guess Captain Caw gets to be in charge now,” Velvet said. “He’s the ranking officer.”

  “Captain Caw?” Julie asked.

  Velvet smirked. “I guess you wouldn’t know about Captain Caw, would you? He’s the one-eyed kangaroo. Watch yourself around him. He’s an assassin. As bloodthirsty as they come. You don’t normally see him fighting with the main unit.”

  The kangaroo stepped out of the charred bunker, shaking his head at the turtle medic as if to say there were no survivors left down below. As he walked across the yard, Julie examined him carefully. She could tell just by watching him move that he was accustomed to killing. The swords on his back were still dripping with blood.

  Velvet continued, “The General usually sends him on special missions with just a few men to back him up. They say he likes to sneak into human camps at night and kill them all in their sleep. He’s quite the hero.”

  The bunny smiled at him, as if his reputation was a turn on to her.

  Then she said, “I wish it were his,” while cradling the baby in her stomach.

  Captain Caw gathered the last of the plushy army together and stared each of them in the eyes. If Julie wasn’t wearing her goggles he would have realized she wasn’t one of them right then and there. She was lucky he didn’t order her to take them off.

  “We’re no longer going to rendezvous with General Clown’s army up North,” said the kangaroo. “Our new mission is to return home with General Griz. If we get there soon enough it might just save his life. But in order to get him back in time, we need to take the most direct route possible.”

  “You can’t possibly mean…” said the flower.

  “That’s right,” said Captain Caw. “We have to go through the badlands.”

  All the plushies became uneasy, but Julie didn’t understand what they meant by the badlands. She considered everything topside as badlands.

  “But there’s only six of us,” cried the flower, its plushy petals quivering. “We couldn’t make it through there even if we had our whole army.”

  “It’s possible because there are only six of us,” said the kangaroo. “I’ve led missions through the badlands on a few occasions. A small group of soldiers can sneak through unnoticed with proper training.”

  “But these guys are just grunts,” said Velvet. “They haven’t had any stealth training.”

  “The chances any of us will survive are slim,” said Captain Caw. “But I don’t see any other option. We owe it to the General to try.”

  The troops looked away. Their expressions became solemn. It was obvious to Julie that they all deeply respected the General. If they knew what Julie did to him they would have torn her guts out on the spot.

  “We have a solid team here,” said the Captain. “We have a sniper,” he said, pointing at Velvet. Then he went to the turtle. “A medic.” He passed the bulldog. “Heavy infantry.” He looked at Julie. “Light infantry.” Then he ended on the jittery flower. “And a mortar soldier.”

  “Explosives expert,” the flower corrected him. “I can blow up anything.”

  Then the flower snickered nervously.

  Julie was surprised the kangaroo labeled her light infantry without ever having seen her before. She wondered if it had to do with the weapons she was carrying.

  “I have everyone I’d need in a unit right here,” said the Captain. “We can do this.”

  The plushies saluted him.

  “But if the General dies because one of you fucks up,” continued the kangaroo. His voice changed. It was deeper, guttural. “Then I will personally gut each and every one of you no matter who is responsible. Either the General lives or you all die.”

  He turned away from them.

  “Move out,” he said.

  The plushies stared at each other, then down at the General’s quivering half-dead body. It quickly dawned on them just how fucked they were.

  Pack up the horses.

  That’s what the bulldog and Julie were ordered to do. But Julie didn’t see any horses, so she wasn’t sure what exactly she was supposed to do. She followed the bulldog’s lead. He carried boxes of ammunition toward a clearing where dozens of large black balls lay in the yellow grass. Julie wondered if these things were what the toys meant by horses. She’d never seen anything like them. Most of the black balls were the size of small cars, but some were the size of buses. What kind of transportation were these things?

  “Which ones are we taking?” asked the bulldog, confused by the vast number. “There’s so many…”

  Julie realiz
ed that this bulldog was used to just taking orders without thinking. He seemed completely confused, a dumb look crossing his fuzzy jowly face. It would be up to Julie to make decisions for them.

  “We need six, right?” Julie asked.

  The bulldog shrugged.

  “Let’s just take these six, then,” she said, pointing at the ones closest to them.

  The bulldog nodded. Then he proceeded toward one of the so-called horses. Julie mimicked what he was doing, climbing the ladder on an adjacent black sphere. On top, she examined the driver’s seat. Through a small bubble on top of the sphere, it looked like the cockpit of a one-man fighter jet. But it had more simplistic controls, like those of a bumper car. She hoped she would be able to drive it.

  Behind the tiny cockpit, there was a small storage compartment like the trunk of a hatchback. She pulled it open and began loading the supplies inside. Once it was full, she went to the next horse and filled its cargo hold.

  “We’re not taking one of the carriages?” Velvet asked as she led the group of human prisoners at gunpoint toward the black spheres.

  Julie realized she was talking about the four bus-sized spheres on the other side of the field. They were massive, almost taller than the trees.

  “No,” said Captain Caw, coming up behind her. “The horses will be better for sneaking through the badlands undetected. The carriages are too big. We’d be spotted miles away.”

  “But what about the prisoners?” Velvet asked. “How are we going to transport them without a carriage?”

  The kangaroo brought a prisoner to one of the horses and opened a hatch on the back end of the sphere. Inside there was a small seat.

  “We can fit one prisoner per horse,” said the kangaroo.

  He stuffed the frightened man within and locked the hatch. The man stared at Julie through the bars of a small round window. By the face he was giving her, he looked as if he planned to give her away if she didn’t do something to save him soon. She noticed many of the prisoners were giving her a similar look.