by Elle Wright
Chapter Fourteen
Leave the Door Open
Preston
“Hey, Preston.”
Dallas was a sight for sore eyes after the day I’d had yesterday. We hadn’t seen each other since yesterday morning because I’d been busy handling my mother’s care. “Hey.” I pressed a kiss to her neck, her chin, and finally her lips. “Are you ready for your flight?”
“Yeah.” She followed me into the kitchen. “Are you cooking breakfast? I have to be at the airport soon.”
I pulled out a bowl. “If you call pouring a bowl of cereal cooking, then I guess I am.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “While you’re at it, you can pour me one of those too.”
I’d discovered Dallas’ love for Honeycomb cereal the first time she’d spent the night here. When I’d tried to get up and make her breakfast, she’d agreed until she’d seen my full box of cereal. After I fixed her cereal, I set the bowl in front of her, smiling when she popped one of the pieces into her mouth.
“How’s your mom?” she asked. Dallas’ cousin, Courtney, had facilitated the move to an inpatient rehab facility in Northern Michigan and had referred my mom to one of the best therapists in the field.
“The transfer went well with a few minor setbacks,” I explained. The long drive had made my mother car sick, and the driver had been forced to pull over a couple of times. “She’s all settled in her room. I can’t thank you enough for asking your cousin to help.”
“It’s no trouble. I hope she works the program.”
“I hope she does too.” I wasn’t fooling myself into believing all would be well after the talk I’d had with her. But I didn’t feel the despair I’d felt even a few weeks ago. “The only thing I can do is give her the resources. It’s up to her whether she’ll use them.”
“Right.” She released a slow breath. “I’ll say a prayer for her—and for you.”
We ate our cereal in silence. I took a moment to study her, the way she stirred her spoon in her bowl over and over, her downturned mouth. Dallas wasn’t usually this quiet. Normally, she’d be telling me about work, about one of her crazy clients while we ate. But today…she wasn’t herself, and it concerned me. “Are you okay?” I asked.
She jumped and looked at me. “Huh?”
“You seem preoccupied. Did something happen at work yesterday?”
“No.”
“Is it your family?”
She shook her head. “Not really. Tristan came by the office, though.”
“He’s back?”
“Apparently, he never left. He was just laying low.”
I waited for her to continue. When another moment passed, I set my spoon down. “Dallas, what’s wrong?”
She flattened a hand over her stomach and stood. “I got good news yesterday.” She averted her gaze. “Tristan found out Kimball has been cheating on his wife. Not with me, of course. But he has pictures that’ll be leaked today and, hopefully, close the door on me being the foil in their relationship.”
The sinking feeling in my gut was back. But I didn’t have to be a psychic to know what was coming next. I followed her to the sofa and sat next to her. “That is good news.”
“But that’s not it.” She swallowed. It also wasn’t like Dallas to beat around the bush. She was direct, which told me she was conflicted about something. “Maya told me the board is ready to move forward with my nomination to the org.”
This is over. The reason Dallas seemed weird was because we’d come to the end of the charade, and she didn’t know how to tell me. But I still needed to hear her say the words. Because after everything, after the nights together, the secrets shared, I wanted to hear from her own mouth that it didn’t mean anything to her. “Which means…?”
“It worked.”
“As in I don’t have to pretend to be your fake boyfriend anymore?”
“That’s what we agreed to, right?”
Everything in me wanted to challenge her on this, but I’d made the decision a long time ago to trust my instincts with her. Since I knew her to be truthful and she wasn’t saying otherwise, I would take her at her word. And since she wasn’t saying otherwise… “Then I guess that’s it.”
Dallas dropped her head, sucked in a deep breath, then glanced at me again. “I really appreciate you going out of your way to help me.”
“Anytime. That’s what friends do. And, if nothing else, we’re friends.”
“Real friends,” she said. “Not sorta friends.”
I heard the catch in her voice, the hesitancy on her part, but I couldn’t reconcile that with her actions. She’d essentially disregarded everything we’d been to each other when she’d mentioned the agreement—as if that was all this was. I forced a smile. “Right.”
She glanced at her watch. “Shit. I need to go, or I’ll miss the flight.” Picking up her purse, she walked to the door. I beat her there and opened it for her. She brushed her fingers over mine and gave me a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll call you when I get back—to check on you and your mother.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
Dallas sucked in a shaky breath and rested her forehead against my chest. “Okay,” she breathed. “Preston, I… Never mind. I have to go. Take care.” Then, she ran to her car and drove away.
And just like I thought, she’d taken my heart with her.
Dallas
“Hey, Sissy.” Bliss settled in next to me on the plane. “Raven stole Naija so I could get some sleep during the flight. She’s teething or something.”
I stared straight ahead. I knew if I talked to Bliss, I would fall apart, and I didn’t have time for that.
“Sissy?” She elbowed me softly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I whispered. “Just tired.”
“When did you start lying?”
I finally looked at my sister, and then the first tear fell. “Don’t.”
Bliss searched my eyes. “I heard Color of Law selected you to be a full member. That’s great.”
I averted my gaze and looked out the window. “Yeah, really great,” I deadpanned. “I’m so happy.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted—the leadership role, status, voting power to determine what goes on within the organization?”
“I guess…”
Bliss wrapped her arms around me and squeezed. “Chair hugs…sometimes they’re the best.”
My sister had been through so much. She’d left an abusive relationship, had given birth, and still remained positive. Her resilience was amazing to me, but I didn’t want to talk. “Thanks,” I murmured.
“You didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m going to give it anyway.”
“Can I stop you?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, no.” She patted my knee. “Sometimes we fuck up.” Bliss was like Paityn in that she rarely cursed, only when she was pissed off. And even then, it didn’t sound right coming from her mouth. “But once we realize it, we have an opportunity to fix it.”
“What if it’s too late?”
“It’s not too late.” She smiled. “Not if you tell him how you feel.”
“How did you know?”
“You aren’t as slick as you think you are. I knew that was going to happen when I agreed with the whole fake-out scheme. It’s why I was so happy. I’m not The Bae Maker for no reason. I’m actually good at my job.” She burrowed into her seat. “You and Preston are the perfect match. And on that note, I need to close my eyes.”
I spent the entire flight thinking about Preston. Every layover, every bathroom break, every meal had been filled with thoughts of him and how he made me feel. Treasured. Respected. Loved? I didn’t know if it was love, but it felt damn close to it. Which made it worse, because he should’ve been sitting next to me. He should’ve been my plus one on this trip.
By the time we made it to the yacht, I still couldn’t get him off my mind. Even when Tristan showed up with a smile on his face. Even when Uncle Jax, his family, and t
he entire Reid family had surprised us. Nothing mattered because I couldn’t stop replaying my last conversation with Preston in my head. My mind kept flashing to the haunted look in his eyes when I’d told him the good news.
I fucked up. And I only had myself to blame. I was too much of a coward to admit that I’d fallen hard for him.
My family noticed right away that something was wrong. Not because I had the sad face, but because I had the stank face. They gave me all the space I needed because of it. I wasn’t in the mood for food, for the sea breeze, or for family time. I spent the first two days phoning it in, only showing up for dinner and one of the excursions. Other than that, I stayed to myself. Until my father pulled me aside after breakfast one morning.
Dad motioned to a lounger on the middle deck. “Have a seat, baby girl.”
I plopped down and stared up at the blue sky. I didn’t bother taking off my sunglasses. “What’s up, Dad?”
“This isn’t going to work, baby girl. I need you to talk to me. You’ve been sulking since we got here, and frankly, I’m concerned.”
“I’m okay.”
“You’re not.”
Once again, tears threatened to fall. “How did you and Mom make it for forty years?”
He smiled. “God first. Then, trust, forgiveness, compassion, and friendship. We realized early on that our marriage wouldn’t survive if we didn’t communicate. We made time for one another, setting aside at least an hour each day to talk about anything. No holds barred.”
“Maybe it’s just not in me to have something lasting like that.”
“You’re right. It’s not in you.”
I pulled my glasses off then. “What?”
“It’s not in you, it’s work. It’s pushing yourself aside to see him. Your mother and I have been intentional with each other. She’s my priority. I had to realize my job wasn’t guaranteed, my kids would grow up and move out, my health might fade. But your mother would still be here with me. So, I don’t walk in the house without greeting the one person who will support me forever. I don’t leave without kissing the woman who has given me so much. I make sure we spend time alone, still conversing about our day, still taking walks, still traveling to new places.”
As my father talked, I could imagine doing all those things with Preston—the traveling, the walks, the alone time, the kisses. “That’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“And possible for you. But you have to step up to bat to have a crack at hitting it out of the park.”
I smiled. “I think you’re taking this softball thing too far, Dad.”
He laughed. “Hey, sports are a metaphor for life. I’ve been telling you that since you could walk.” My father had wrapped life lessons in every sport. Even fencing. Sometimes things happened with no explanation and no matter how much you planned, your approach may backfire. “Like I told you before, life is about balance, Dallas. Despite your accomplishments, you haven’t learned that yet.”
“I thought I was getting better.”
He lifted a brow. “If you were doing better, you would’ve asked Preston out because you liked him, not because you wanted to run for office.”
Ouch.
“Everything is always business for you,” he continued. “Life is about so much more than that. Your mother and I want all of you to experience the type of love we have for each other.”
“It felt different to me,” I admitted. “Being with him. I loved it.”
“You loved it? Or you love him?”
“I probably love him.”
He chuckled. “You’re so stubborn. I don’t know where you got that from.”
“I like to think I’m a happy medium between you and Mom.”
“Whatever you say.”
I blew out a slow breath. “Okay, I do love him.”
“So why aren’t you with him now? Why isn’t he here with us?”
I shrugged. “Because…I don’t know. It’s over.”
“Obviously it’s not if you’re on this expensive yacht and walking around here like a zombie.”
“I feel free when I’m with him,” I explained. “It started one way and ended with me not even caring that I was selected to be in the organization. From the moment I found out, the only thing I could think about was him and how this would change things between us.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Dad said.
“What if it does?”
“You’ll never know.” He sighed. “I know about you and Zeke.”
My eyes flashed to his. “What? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted you to come to me. But when you didn’t, I figured you’d found someone else to confide in.”
“Not really.”
“I hate to think you’ve been hiding from meaningful relationships because of guilt, because you think you don’t deserve to be loved. Zeke was one of my favorite people, but his death was an unfortunate accident. There was nothing you could’ve done to change that.”
Tears flowed freely now, and I wiped them away with my sleeve. “I broke his heart.”
“But you weren’t driving the car.”
“I just hate the thought of him thinking I didn’t love him before he died.”
“He knew.” My father scooted his chair close to mine and hugged me. “But let me ask you a question. Does Preston know?”
I looked up at him and shook my head. “I didn’t tell him.”
Dad rubbed my hair, much like the way he’d done when I was a kid. “Well, I think it’s time to remedy that.” He cupped my cheek in his palm. “You’re my little fixer. You’ve always been steady, strong. You come in the room and people breathe a sigh of relief because they know you have it all under control. So how about you fix your own life?”
My father was right. I’d spent too much time hiding from my own feelings. If one of my siblings had acted the way I did, I would’ve told them to get their shit together. So, it was way past time for me to take my own advice. Now, I knew what I had to do.
Chapter Fifteen
U 2 Luv
Preston
“I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell her how you felt.” Cooper leaned back in his chair. “That’s some coward-ass shit right there.”
I glared at my best friend. “Says the man who literally just got his head out of his ass long enough to get Angel back.”
Coop shrugged. “That’s why I can say this.”
Shaking my head, I finished the email I’d been typing when Coop had shown up. “I’m good on the advice. Besides, we don’t do this.”
“That’s because you’re stubborn as hell. And you still haven’t told me why you didn’t tell her how you felt.”
The answer to that question was simple. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think she wanted it. “She was ready for this to end, and she brought it back to the agreement. If she wanted more, she would’ve said something.” I’d told myself that every day since she left, and it still didn’t make me feel better. While I’d known the arrangement was temporary, I thought I’d have a little more time to spend with her, to convince her to take a chance on us. “Since she didn’t, I had to let her go.”
“Man, don’t settle for that shit. I know Dallas, and she’s just as fucked up as you are. Hell, we’re the fucked-up bunch. Except now, I have Angel and Mehki to cushion those fuck-ups. And you need Dallas to help you be less of a—”
“Say fuck-up one more time.”
Cooper barked out a laugh. “Fuck-up.”
We both laughed. “You’re a dumb ass for that.”
“And you’re actually smiling. When was the last time that happened?”
I thought about his words. Coop wasn’t lying. For a long time, I hadn’t had much to smile about. “It’s been a while.”
“I’m glad she does that for you.”
“She did that for me,” I corrected.
Coop grumbled a curse. “I’m going to let you have this one. I’ll talk to her when I see her.”
/>
“What exactly do you think that’s going to change?”
“Don’t worry about what I think. Just update me on the project so I can get out of here. Angel and Mehki are waiting back at my place.” Coop had decided to keep his condo because he knew he’d be in Detroit for business often. They’d stopped off in Detroit on their way to Mackinac Island for a short getaway.
I gave Coop a quick rundown of the project timeline. “The staff is moving ahead of schedule. I feel confident that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, we’ll meet the first deadline.”
Coop studied the blueprints. “Good.” He pointed at a spot on the paper. “What about this land next to the lot? Is that available?”
I peered at the drawing. “It is. What are you thinking?”
“Let’s find out if we can purchase it. I’d like to build a park for the kids in the area, a safe place where they can play.”
The thought had crossed my mind too. Growing up, I’d wished I’d had a park I could go to and escape my house. “I’m already ahead of you on this. I’ve been in touch with Parks & Rec. We would need them to assume responsibility for it after the development is complete.”
Coop held out his fist, and I bumped it with mine. “Bet. Let’s make it happen.” He picked up his phone and typed something. “Mehki is hungry. Before I go, how’s your mother?”
The last week had been a difficult adjustment for Mom. She’d threatened to check herself out of the rehab center at least ten times. But things had calmed down a little. “I’m just hoping she can stay and work the program. If she doesn’t, I don’t know how long she’ll be here.” The sobering thought had kept me from embracing the anger still lying just beneath the surface. Although we’d spoken often, my mother and I had a long journey ahead before we could even talk about healing our fractured relationship.
