by Daphne Slade
“We don’t all get to do what we love, Noah. Some of us have to…well, we have to settle when it comes to careers.”
“Exactly.”
“What?”
“If you’re already looking at it as settling, maybe you should start considering something else.”
There’s a long pause on the other end and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was steam coming out of her ears.
“I have to get ready to go,” she says in a measured tone.
“Come on Grace, let me have it. You know you want to,” I goad.
“No, I’m a big girl. I can take real talk. I just…disagree. I’ve spent most of my education with the aim of going to medical school. I'm not going to call it quits just because I’ve reached a minor bump or some pushback.”
I realize now why I like her so much. Like me, she’s driven. The only difference is, the road she’s going down is taking her places that even she knows she has no passion for. But I know better than to say it aloud.
Hopefully, she’ll come to it on her own.
“Anyway, I should go to the library. Obviously, I need these study sessions with Jenny.”
“Right, and I’ve got practice,” I say, realizing I’ve touched a nerve.
“I’m not mad at you, Noah,” she says, reading my mind, even throwing in a mild laugh.
“I know, though I do kind of miss that hate-lust thing we used to have going on.”
She laughs again, heartier this time. “Well, maybe you can do something to piss me off before I head to the library tomorrow after class.”
I make the obvious connection to our last interaction in the stacks. “Stop, Grace, you’re making me blush.”
We both laugh again and say our goodbyes.
I hang up feeling good about how we left off. Hopefully, it’s made her day a little bit better than it was so far.
The phone call means I arrive at evening practice the same time as everyone else.
I sense the bad air in the locker room as soon as I enter. Usually, there’s an energy that fills the space, all of us hyped up for practice, especially after having our first games.
Today, I’m met with eyes that stare a little too meaningfully, each holding a different expression. They range from embarrassment to disapproval to amusement to sympathy.
“I got something on my face?” I ask with a half-smile.
Matt shoots from the bench he’s sitting on and rushes toward me. The phone in his hand is held up toward me, but my eyes don’t have time to focus on it before he’s in my face.
“What the fuck is this? You and Grace? After you fucking told me you were done with her.”
Now my gaze quickly slides to the screen of his phone. It’s a photo of Grace and me…in the library.
But it isn’t shame or self-condemnation I feel. It’s absolute rage. Whoever caught us made sure to snap the most scandalous part of what we were doing. It’s taken from the side, Grace is naked from the waist down, her legs wrapped around my waist, and my hand is under her shirt. You can’t see anything more than her long, bare legs and the side of her hips and waist, but it’s still obvious what’s going on. Even though my head is buried in her neck, everyone on the team knows it’s me. I wore those same clothes on the ride back from Notre Dame.
Besides, who else has Matt been goading on in some stupid dare about his ex?
“What the fuck, Matt? Were you stalking us?” I roar.
He coughs out a laugh, giving me a triumphant look. “I knew it! You fucking liar!” He turns around to look at the team, all of whom now look thoroughly uncomfortable. “This is your fucking captain, the guy who's more than happy to steal your girl, then lie about it to save face.”
“Except she’s not yours, and frankly never should have been!”
He turns back to face me with anger in his eyes.
“Perhaps you can tell everyone the details of how you and Grace got together. I for one found it an interesting chain of events,” I snap.
I see the flicker of panic hit his eyes before he quickly masks it. “It doesn’t matter. The fact is, she was mine, for three fucking years. Mine! I was this close to deciding she was the one, but I guess I have you to thank for that not happening. Despite you deliberately telling me and the whole team you’d keep your hands off her.”
He’s twisting this like he does everything, deflecting from the truth I was about to reveal.
Not that it matters.
He’s right. I made it clear for anyone on the team to hear that I was going to leave Grace alone. I did it for the sake of the team. Even if Matt did play dirty to get Grace in the first place, the fact is, he was with her for three years. No one is going to turn a blind eye to that. And for me to swoop in so soon after doesn’t look good. Frankly, I’d look sideways at one of them if they tried hooking up with someone else’s longtime girlfriend so soon after she went back on the market.
But now that it’s out in the open, I might as well own it.
“Okay yes,” I say in a steady voice. “I am with Grace, and I’m not ashamed of it. She has a right to make her choice as to who she wants to be with.”
“And you were more than happy to insert yourself as a candidate. Jesus, Noah, I knew you were desperate for her, but this is pathetic.”
“As pathetic as following me to the library as soon as we got back so you could snap photos of us?”
His mouth twists into a sneer. “It wasn’t me, asshole. I was at the bar until closing that night. This was sent to me anonymously.”
That one gives me pause. I scan his face for a lie.
“It’s true, Noah,” Reid says, speaking up, though he does meet me with a slightly sympathetic look. “Plenty of us were there with him.”
Now, I’m just flat-out confused. Then who the hell took that photo?
“I guess all your sneaking around didn’t help after all. Just how long have you been with her?”
That gets my attention again. “The fact is, I’m with her, and frankly, I don’t plan on letting her go. Face it, Matt, you dropped the ball. I was more than happy to pick it up. It’s your own damn fault.”
I probably shouldn’t have gone that far. It’s not a good look and Matt is the type to ignite easily.
Which is why that first punch is no surprise. I evade it enough for it to glance off my cheek instead of land right in my eye. Before he can throw another, I tackle him to the floor, if only to subdue him.
That gets the rest of the team involved, pulling us off each other.
I’m happy to allow it, cooling off instantly. Matt is still running hot as Reid and a few other players hold him back.
“Let it go, Matt,” Evan says, giving him a hard look. “You’ve made your case, now get over it.”
“Fuck you and fuck him!”
“Stop,” Evan continues, giving him a censuring look. “You have a right to be mad, but let’s not act like we didn’t all see you cozying up to some girl at the bar as soon as school started. So drop the pity party act.”
Matt’s mouth is in a snarl as he shakes off his teammates. “Whatever. You all want someone who will lie straight to your face as captain, have at it. I’m headed out.”
He snatches up his skates and stalks out of the dressing room.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“Come on, Noah,” Evan says, giving me an incredulous look. “You’re not necessarily in the wrong here, but you couldn’t have at least given it a grace period? No pun intended.”
Why on earth would I? And, despite this, I have no regrets.
But the look on my teammates' faces reflects the same sentiment as Evan.
“So what, you want me to step down as captain? Fine. Done.”
“No one’s saying that. Just…try to be more careful. And definitely don’t flaunt it.”
“It’s not like I hired someone to take that photo and send it to him,” I say in anger, mostly out of continued bewilderment. Who the fuck took that photo if not Matt?
&nbs
p; “Of course not, but you know what this means,” Evan says, giving me a warning look as he pulls me aside to confer in private. “She can’t come to games. Matt is acting out enough as it is during play. You and I both need to perform our best this year. We need the team to perform its best this year.”
He’s finally said something that sticks, something I’ve already told myself. And despite what a hotheaded ass Matt is, we need his A-game if any of us is going to make it to the NHL.
“Fine,” I say, storming to my locker to get changed.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Grace
“So who took the picture?” I ask, that sick feeling overcoming me again.
It’s Tuesday afternoon and Noah is at my place, having told me everything that happened yesterday at practice. I get why he waited this long to tell me. I was with Jenny until late last night as she oh so patiently worked with me on Immunology. Honestly, she’s being a perfect saint. It only makes Professor Kardos’s words more painfully acute.
But that mess is completely overshadowed by the fact that someone has been stalking either Noah or me, maybe both of us.
“Are they certain that it wasn’t Matt? I mean, could he have slipped away from the bar and—”
“Trust me, I asked. I damn near interrogated them. The bar is on the other side of campus. No way could he have slipped out for that long without anyone noticing.”
“Then who could it have been?”
Noah grimaces. “I’m a hockey player at Devington. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a fan get a little too obsessed.”
I’ve been close enough to the world of hockey on this campus to know he isn’t just stroking his own ego. Even Matt has basked in the glow of adoration, and not just from overly enthusiastic puck bunnies. I can’t deny that it made those rose-colored glasses I wore when looking at him a little rosier. But none of them knew him like I now do.
“So…the whole team saw the photo,” I say bringing my hand up to press into my forehead. The thought that anyone, let alone Noah and Matt’s teammates saw me like that is mortifying.
“It wasn’t completely terrible, Grace. It didn’t show anything. Not even Playboy would have been interested.”
“That doesn’t make me feel much better.”
“Hey,” Noah says with a comforting smile. “If you’d seen some of those guys in the situations I’ve seen them, you wouldn’t feel so bad. This is nothing. Last year Reid was locked out of his apartment with nothing but a sock around his dick after pissing off the girl he was with. Pretty sure our teammates have a few saved snapshots of that.”
Being lumped in with the sophomoric sexual adventures of his teammates does nothing to ease my embarrassment, but I do appreciate the effort.
Noah laughs and shakes his head. “Yeah, I guess that doesn’t exactly inspire a sense of relief.”
“It’s not that,” I say, resting my hand on his back and rubbing. I like the way his body feels underneath my palm. “I just wonder how far whoever this is will go. Today it’s photographs to blackmail us. Tomorrow it could be something worse.”
The way his face contorts with anger tells me Noah has thought the same thing but held back saying it for my sake. Now that I’ve brought it up, he nods. “Yeah, I thought about that. Listen, I don’t want you spending time alone, okay? If Erin isn’t here, go to the library or The Sin Bin or the Den of Iniquity or some other crowded place on campus.”
I smile at his protectiveness. “Aye, aye, captain.”
“I’m serious, Grace. You haven’t seen some of the lengths these people go to. I’m going to stop by every night as well, just to check up on you and make sure you’re safe.”
“To tuck me in?” I say, just to bring some levity to this, even though I’m still a bit freaked out.
“I’m not kidding, Grace. I don’t want to have to worry about you dealing with this psycho on your own.”
My smile grows, then falters. “Unless it’s you they’re targeting.”
“I dare them to come for me,” he says with a hard set to his face that is so damn sexy. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about that during such a serious discussion, but I can’t help it. “At least then the threat will be eliminated.”
“It’s just so weird to do it this way. Why send photos to Matt in secret? Maybe it’s someone who doesn’t know Matt and I broke up and thought I was cheating?”
“Without knowing who did it, we’ll never know the reasons why. I just want you to be safe, okay?”
“Okay,” I say, mostly for his benefit.
“Good,” he says, visibly relaxing.
“At any rate, it’s nice to be able to spend more time with you.”
“You don’t need a stalker to get close to me, Grace,” he says with a grin.
“So, now that the team knows we’re together do we still have to sneak around?”
“Yeah, the team knows,” he says, grabbing the back of his neck the way he does when talking about something awkward. “Most of them are okay with it but…”
“I still can’t come to games.”
“You know how Matt is.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “I hate it. It shouldn’t have to be this way.”
“Hey,” I say, reaching up to cup his cheek. “The NHL is important to you. If sitting in the Den of Iniquity to watch even the home games helps get you there, then that’s what I’ll do. It’s not so bad,” I say with a grin. “Heidi has taken to giving me and my friends a free round of shots every time.”
Noah’s lips tighten with skepticism. “You seem to be getting awfully cozy with the girls you were once jealous about.”
I laugh. “Now who’s jealous?”
His mouth transforms into a wicked grin. “I mean, if that’s the way you want to roll, I’m an open-minded man Grace. So long as I have at least a co-starring role in—”
I punch him in the arm and laugh. “How did I know that’s exactly where your depraved mind would go?”
Noah pretends to flinch and laughs with me. “Oh come on, like you weren’t leading me down that path on a leash.”
“I just wanted to see if you’d take the bait.”
He reaches out and collects me into his strong arms pulling me in closer. “On second thought, forget about that idea. I spent too long watching you with someone else. You’re all mine, Grace, and I don’t like to share.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Grace
I’ve finally managed to catch up with Ashley just before Immunology on Friday. She apparently doesn’t work a whole lot of hours there, so it’s a relief to finally get this settled.
The relief is short-lived.
“I just can’t find it,” she says, looking truly distraught. She tugs at a blonde ringlet from her hair stretching it out as her eyes scan the area outside of Professor Kardos’s office. “I swear I looked everywhere in that man’s office, and out here. You can see how much I’ve organized already. It just doesn’t make sense!”
“Oh,” I say, feeling disheartened. “Could it have fallen behind something?”
“Like I said, I looked everywhere,” she says. “And I told him over and over that I saw you turn it in, but he won’t accept that, even after I told him we weren’t friends or anything.” Her eyes go wide. “Not that I don’t like you, Grace. I mean, you’ve been so nice to me, inviting me to join you to watch that game and all.”
“It’s fine,” I say, forcing a smile to my face. She looks like she’s about to fall apart. I guess she’s probably just as worried about losing her job as I am about having to keep the C grade. In the scheme of things, she probably has the greater concern.
“I’ll keep looking, I promise, but…” Her face wrinkles with frustration as though she too can’t understand how it went missing. “I just don’t know.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’ve got to go to class or I’ll be late. Just—I guess thanks for looking.”
She flashes a brief smile that doesn’t erase the
worry on her face.
In class, I fall in my seat next to Jenny.
“No luck on finding the paper?” she asks, reading my expression.
“It’s like it vanished into thin air,” I say, still with disbelief. “And Kardos refuses to accept Ashley’s assurance that I did in fact turn it in.”
“Do you trust her?”
“Ashely?” I ask, raising my brow in surprise. “I mean, why not?”
Jenny shrugs. “I’m not saying she did anything maliciously, but maybe she accidentally misplaced it and is just covering for herself?”
I frown as I consider that. “I mean, even if she did, what does it matter now? It’s gone and he won’t accept that it’s not my fault. I’ll just have to be more careful next time.”
“Me too, I guess. Who knows if it could happen again to someone else?”
“Seriously.”
A smile comes to her face and I sense a shift in topics. “So, are you going to the first home game Friday?”
I twist my lips to the side with annoyance. “No. It’s this whole thing with Matt.”
“What about him?” she asks with a frown of confusion. “Are you two back together?”
“God no.”
I haven’t aired much of my dirty laundry with Jenny, detailing everything that Noah and I learned about Matt. No need to paint myself in even more of a negative light against her shining perfection. All she knows is that I officially broke up with Matt and I’m officially with Noah.
“Is he trying to get back together with you?”
“No,” I say, looking off to the side to ponder that. “It’s weird. He was upset when I broke it off for good. But that was just his ego. Since then, he hasn’t so much as texted. Can’t say the same for what he’s doing with Noah. He’s creating problems on the team. You’d think someone so focused on the NHL, as it turns out, would put aside this pettiness for the sake of the game.”
“Matt is trying for the NHL too? I mean, I know Noah is, and he’s so great on the ice. But isn’t it, like, really hard to get picked up?”
