He rubs at the back of his neck. “And after we’re done enjoying the priceless looks of foolishness and disappointment on everyone’s faces, we can go back to being absolutely nothing to each other. Do I have that right?”
This stops my heart for a beat. “I mean, yeah. I’ll be in LA and you’ll be traveling the world. We’ll both be at our dream jobs, finally doing what we’ve always worked for.” Beau drops his chin and I lift mine. “You do like your job, don’t you?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I don’t like my job.” He meets my gaze. “I absolutely love it.” His voice is thick and I can practically see the word love on his lips.
“Well. Isn’t it great that we’re both going to be happy after all?”
I say this, but my insides are a giant bowl of ache. I guess a part of me was hoping Beau would fight for me—for the possibility of us. But no. It’s silly to hope for something that wouldn’t be good for either of us. He looks at me and I look at him, and I shuffle my bare feet. Then I reach down and pick up the sandals he brought from the car. “Thanks for these, by the way.” I brush the dirt from the bottoms of my feet off and slip the sandals on.
“Least I could do.” He smiles at me. There go those flutters in my stomach again. “So.” He ducks his head. Shy and sweet. He hands me my phone. “Are we sending those videos?”
“Nah.” I let my mouth go crooked. “But I am going to hold onto them in case you decide to back out tomorrow night. Or if you do a horrible job of pretending I’m the love of your life.”
He half-smiles. “I’ll do my best.”
“I mean it, buddy.” I poke him in his chest. Oof. That chest. “I’m counting on you to convince everyone you think I’m the bee’s knees. If not, I’ll post this video of you confessing. All over the place.”
“Hold up.” Beau’s eyes twinkle. Gosh I love when they do that. “Did I just hear you describe yourself as the bee’s knees?”
I snort. Gosh I hate it when I do that. “I sure did. But I’m just helping you out, Beau, giving you more reasons to really work at being fake-in-love with me. I mean, who can resist a woman this cool?” I sweep a hand down my body and his eyes follow the whole way. Why did I draw attention to myself like that?
“You are the coolest, Kasey Graham.”
“Why thank you, Beauregard Slater. That might be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
BY THE TIME BEAU DROPS me at my parents’ house, most of my extended family is gone, but Mac and Daisy are in the front room with at least a dozen freshly decorated gingerbread houses. My dad’s favorite holiday album is playing, John Denver singing Christmas for Cowboys. One glance at Daisy’s sticky face tells me my little cousin’s already eaten her weight in candy.
“Hey there Cuz,” I say. Mac’s wiping Daisy’s mouth with a damp paper towel. He stops wiping and looks up at me.
“Well, well, well. The prodigal daughter returns.” He raises an eyebrow. “Where’ve you been all afternoon?”
“Places.” I kick off my sandals and collapse on the couch next to Daisy. Mac nods in the direction of the kitchen.
“Some people in this house might require a more specific answer than that.”
Based on the laughter coming from the other room, Aunt Remy and the girls are in the kitchen with my mom. “Some people might be waiting a long time.”
Mac’s smile is sly. “Hey. I’m on your side, here. But be warned. Your whereabouts have been the subject of quite a bit of speculation today.”
I shrug. “What can I say? I’ve been busy. This is the only real vacation I’ve had in a while.”
Mac’s sly smile spreads into a full-blown grin. “Well I for one am glad to hear you’ve been having fun.”
“Thanks, Mac.” I grin back at him. Then I take a chance and reach out to scoop Daisy onto my lap. I’m a little surprised when she lets me. She looks up and wraps a strand of my hair around her finger. She smells like peanut butter. Like sugar. Like childhood.
“What do you think, Daisy? Did you have fun today?” She says nothing, just sticks a thumb in her mouth. I decide this response means yes. Sure Daisy’s still not talking, but that doesn’t mean she’s not communicating.
Just then my mother bursts into the room. She’s wearing a hat made of pretend deer horns, just like the scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. You know the scene—when the Grinch makes his dog Max wear reindeer antlers. “There you are. Kasey! We were so worried.” She’s actually wringing her hands, and I feel a stab of guilt about our plans to deceive her tomorrow.
“I’m fine, Mom.”
She nods at the display of gingerbread houses. “You missed all the decorating. Who knows the next time we’ll all be together for this again.”
Another stab of guilt cuts through me. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
My mother drops her hands at her sides. “You were thinking about yourself.” Daisy crawls off my lap and starts picking M&Ms off the nearest gingerbread house. Even she doesn’t want to be in the path of my mother’s Grinchy glare.
“I’m really sorry, Mom. We lost track of time today, but it won’t happen again.”
“Who’s we?”
“Beau and me.”
“Humph.” My mother adjusts her antlers. “You know, this is just like that time when you disappeared after graduation, Kasey. No reasons. No explanation. Just gone. Poof. Why can’t you have consideration for anyone else’s feelings?”
Ugh. My stabs of guilt are joined by a sick pit in my stomach. “I really am sorry. Sincerely.”
“Well sincere or not that doesn’t give us back our time today does it?”
“No, ma’am. It doesn’t.”
Mac lifts Daisy up on his hip and clears his throat. “I’m glad we got to see you, Kasey. Hang in there.” I gaze up at my cousin and find myself blinking back tears.
“Thanks, Mac. You too.”
My mother walks him and Daisy to the door, then turns back toward me. “Aunt Remy and the girls were about to leave too. You should say hi before they go. And Kasey? Be on time tomorrow.” When she heads back into the kitchen, I hear her mutter, we lost track of time.
As much as the memory hurts, I’m grateful my mom brought up graduation. Without knowing it, she reminded me I can’t have feelings for Beau. No matter how much I may want to. No matter what kinds of tricks my heart keeps playing.
10
Beau
“Y
ou’ve got this, Beau. You do. Come on now. Just hang in there.”
Yep, that’s me, walking circles around the coffee table. Talking to myself. Clearing my throat. Waiting for Kasey. There’s nothing new about that last part, though. I’ve been waiting half my life for her. Mom’s in the backyard arranging lanterns on the patio. Natalie’s in her bedroom doing whatever it is she does to get ready. Dad’s on the deck filling coolers and setting up folding chairs. That leaves no tasks for me beyond taking another lap around the room and clearing my throat. Again. What’s with all the throat clearing? Yeah. Good question. I guess Kasey Graham’s turned me into someone who paces rooms and talks to himself.
She texted to say her family will be here by 8:00 for the firework shows—both the one in the sky and the one that’s supposed to blow everyone’s minds. I check my watch, then check myself. Is this the Beau Slater who’s been on safaris and in submarines? Oil rigs and front lines? Seriously. I barely recognize me. For a guy who tries to live authentically, I’m still pretty shocked Kasey got me onboard with her scheme. She thinks I agreed to pretend I’m in love with her to mess with our families. But the truth is, I am in love with her. This is the opposite of what I did in high school—crushing on her hard, but acting like her enemy. I’m not even sure how this new plan goes. I’ve never faked something I actually felt before.
All I know is the minute I started putting myself out there yesterday, Kasey pumped the brakes. I’d been this close to admitting how I authentically feel about her. Heart in my hand, tongue tied in my m
outh. We kissed and I asked her what she wanted. Then she looked up at me with those big blue eyes of hers...
...and said Revenge.
Yeah. Rug ripped right out from under me. I offered her Beau, she picked payback.
On the bright side, I don’t think Kasey hates me anymore. But she sure as heck doesn’t love me. For one brief moment, I let myself think something might be happening between us. Then she brought up the whole job thing. Told me work is more important. My work. Her work. We’d never work as a couple, because of our work.
I mean, of course Kasey’s job is a big deal. She’s waited five years for this break. As for me, not everyone gets the chance to work with a Pulitzer Prize winner. The truth is, doors are opening for both of us and we’d be stupid to shut them. But even if I could make some grand gesture—like give up my career for her—there’s another elephant in the room: Kasey’s still Brady’s sister.
I can’t see myself looking my best friend in the eye and telling him I picked Kasey over him. She’s right. There’s no good ending to this story. Too many people stand to lose too much. So I have to step back. Let Kasey go. At least that way, I’m the only one who’s losing.
There’s a fumbling at the door and Kasey’s mother pokes her head in. “Knock, knock, knock,” she says before barging in with a plate of snickerdoodles. She’s wearing a green and red cardigan covered in Santa Clauses and reindeer. She’s a walking Hallmark movie. Very yuletide. Very insane.
Kasey follows her in, looking more gorgeous than ever. She’s dressed in white, like a holiday angel, and her hair is loose around her face. I want to reach out and touch those waves, gather them together, breathe her in. And maybe I can tonight, since we’re pretending to be a thing.
She meets my gaze across the room and winks. Huh. Is that a signal? We didn’t talk through this plan in detail, so I’m not sure when to start our show. I’m waiting for some cue when my mom comes in from the yard. She’s got on a red and white striped top, and blue pants with white stars. She’s a walking American flag. Very patriotic. Very Betty.
“Welcome, welcome, welcome!” she says. “Were you all at the parade today? Dale and I thought we might see you. Natalie brought extra brownies.”
As usual, Mrs. Graham answers. Every sentence is an exclamation. “We were there until they announced the winners of the boat float competition! It was Mae and Cubby which was a wonderful surprise! Although I suppose Beau here wasn’t surprised because he was a judge! And now Mae and Cubby get a free dinner at The Merry Cow! Then after all that excitement, we headed straight to Big Mama’s so Santa could visit Daisy!”
Mr. Graham puffs up his chest and I wonder who dressed him. He looks like he stepped out of the pages of A Christmas Carol. “I did a pretty good job playing Santa, if I do say so myself. Only problem is, I’ve still got some glue stuck to my face. Elaine used too much to paste the beard on.”
“Shhh!” Mrs. Graham puts a finger up to her lips. “You weren’t Santa, dear. The real Santa came.”
Brady smirks. “Based on the smell of mothballs, I’d have to say the real Santa stores his suit in our attic.” I cut my gaze to Kasey who catches my eye and shrugs. Her family is nuts, but I love them all.
Mrs. Graham smacks Brady’s shoulder. “Now just you hush. You too, Phil. You’re both such spoil sports.” She shakes her head. “Anyway, Darby and Olivia and Tess dressed up like elves. They found costumes at the church garage sale. Only fifty cents each! And they got Daisy to sit on Santa’s lap so he could ask her what she wants for Christmas. But that sweet little thing never did answer him. So Mac went ahead and told everyone Daisy had been a good girl all year even though some of us wonder if that’s true. And luckily we got some pictures of Daisy with Santa before she started to cry.”
Mr. Graham chuckles. “Take a breath, Elaine. You must be dangerously low on oxygen.”
While Mrs. Graham glares at him, my mom pipes up. “Why don’t we all head into the backyard for snacks before the show?”
She guides Mr. and Mrs. Graham out onto the deck, and I try to catch Kasey’s eye again, but she’s focused on the stairs. When Natalie comes down in a cloud of hairspray and perfume, Kasey glides over to me and coos.
“Hey there, handsome.” Ah. Now I get it. This is the signal I’ve been waiting for. Kasey was stalling until Natalie showed up so she and Brady could both witness our performance.
“Hi, beautiful,” I choke. Yeah, I’m not too good at this performance, but Kasey sure is. She throws her arms around my neck and moves in for a few quick kisses. They’re only pecks, but her lips leave a trail of fire from my nose, to my mouth, to my chin. Then she hops backward, takes my hand, lifts it overhead, and spins herself around. She’s ridiculous. And adorable. I just want to spin her for the rest of my life.
Brady cocks his head. “Uh...What’s going on?”
Kasey blinks at him. Eyes big like Bambi. But the innocent kind, not the deer-in-headlights kind. “What ever do you mean, brother dear?”
I jump in to answer. “Brady doesn’t mean anything. Not. A. Thing.” I move away from Kasey because Brady actually does mean something. He’s about to freak out, and I’m not sure I’m ready. What if I can’t go through with this? What if I don’t want to? If Brady’s not all right with Fake Us, he’ll never be all right with Real Us. And what if I want Kasey for real?
Yeah. I want Kasey for real.
Natalie wrinkles her nose. “Why is everyone talking all weird? And acting all weird. You’re all so weird!”
Kasey flashes a fake smile. “Maybe we ate some of your brownies.” Then she aims more big Bambi eyes at Nat who rounds on me.
“I have no idea what Kasey’s talking about, but you look like you’ve been caught with your hands in the cookie jar. Stop being a cookie jar thief, Beau.”
I open my mouth to protest, but I’m saved by my dad who’s at the back door. “Kids! You need to head outside. The fireworks will be starting soon, and you don’t want to miss ‘em. Come on. Yep. Come on out now.”
Brady, Natalie, Kasey and I follow my dad out as he gives us our instructions. “Grab yourselves a drink and a popper or a sparkler. I’ve got chairs lined up over there.” He points to the edge of the deck. Beyond it, boats float across the lake, their lights reflecting on the water. “Or you can stand if you like,” he says. “When the fireworks start, the best view will be at the railing.”
“Showtime,” Kasey whispers. She drags me toward the darkest corner of the deck and picks the chair on the end, probably to make everyone think we’re sneaking off to be alone. Her hand heats up my whole body. Every part of me she touches is branded. The lake reflects the crescent moon and a row of trees along the shore. If Kasey and I were alone, this would be romantic, but the whole point of our performance is the audience.
Behind us Natalie and Brady are talking and laughing with our parents. Kasey squeezes my hand. “Ready?” I nod and she nods at the chair.
“Oh, right.” I take a seat and she curls up in my lap. The scent of vanilla and honey washes over me. She’s so warm and light in my arms, I can’t believe she thinks I’m pretending. I want this to be real—more than anything—but I’ll keep playing the part as long as I can keep her close.
The fireworks start with a series of pops. Bright webs of color light the sky, dripping downward, then disappearing. More fireworks explode. Pop! Pop! Pop! Everyone on the deck oohs and ahhs with each brilliant burst. “Isn’t this lovely,” my mother exclaims. I look at Kasey and think, Absolutely.
Brady and Natalie start heading toward us, both looking up, focused on the fireworks. Kasey drapes an arm around me, snuggling in closer. She must’ve noticed they’re approaching too. Brady and Nat reach the edge of the deck, only a few feet away from where we’re sitting. Brady squints in the darkness. “Kasey? Is that you down there?”
“It sure is.” She bends her neck and starts to nibble my earlobe. Oh no. Is she kidding? The nibbling tickles and I almost burst out laughing. Then her lips brush
my neck and I almost burst into flames.
“Uh, Beau?” Brady’s shoulders go stiff. Like he’s about to rip me apart over a fake relationship.“What’s happening here, man?” Yeah, good question, Brady.
Before I can answer him, Kasey takes charge. “I’m so glad you asked that, Brother. Because I think it’s time you knew. Beau and I. We’re happening.”
“You and Beau?” Natalie grips the railing, and Brady squints even harder. Like squeezing his eyes shut might make this go away. I know the feeling, man. I kind of want to disappear.
Kasey shrugs. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
Brady scrubs a hand over his face. “Can’t say I have.”
“Well, you’d better start noticing,” Kasey says. Another set of fireworks pops above us and she prods my side. I don’t know what she wants me to say, but it doesn’t much matter because my mouth’s totally frozen. Turns out I’ve got no acting skills, and I honestly care about Kasey too much to fake my feelings. After a beat Kasey shifts her focus to my sister. “What about you, Nat? Are you saying you didn’t catch on to the fact that your brother and I are crazy about each other?”
“No. No way.” She shakes her head. “You can’t be.”
“Except we are.” Kasey lifts her chin. “And I sure hope that doesn’t bother you.” She turns to Brady. “Or you either. But even if you are bothered—even if you absolutely hate the thought of Beau and me being together—you’ll have to get used to it. Because”—she shifts her gaze to me—“we are head over heels in love.”
Natalie shrieks.
“What’s going on over there?” my dad calls out. All four parents look our way as a string of fireworks illuminates the deck. It’s like the sun is shining on Kasey. In my lap. Everyone’s jaws drop simultaneously.
“Beau?” my mother says.
“Kasey?” says Mrs. Graham. They reach for each other’s hands, and my gut twists.
Great. Just great. Now our mothers have their hopes up and our only siblings are infuriated. For what? So Kasey can hop up and announce Hey, ha! We’re just kidding, folks. This was all an act because you all tried to mess with us. It’s just revenge. No big deal.
My Red, White, & Blue Christmas Page 8
