lieutenant said. "The gunner and thesergeant can bear me out."
"And I tell you," the captain said excitedly, "I did not issue any suchbird-brained order."
A lieutenant referee tapped the captain on the shoulder. "Sir, would yougentlemen please leave the field," he said, indicating the lieutenant,the captain and his aide, the sergeant, the gunner and the unconsciousHaas. "You are all dead."
The captain looked around to discover that their little group was thetarget of the blank fire of several advancing Blue infantrymen. "Butwe're trying to straighten out a mix-up here," the captain protested.
"I'm sorry, sir, but you're all standing here gossiping in the middle ofa battle. Theoretically you are all Swiss cheese. Please leave thearea."
"We WON'T leave the area!" the captain shouted. "I'm trying to tell youwe wouldn't be dead if some idiot hadn't gotten in here and bollixed upthis training exercise and--"
"... It was a brilliant demonstration of infiltration and diversionarytactics by Dolliver Wims," said General Fyfe, striding forward.
The captain rolled his eyes heavenward in supplication before turning toface the general. "Sir," he inquired acidly, "What _are_ dolliverwims?"
"Private Wims is the embodiment of the initiative and resourcefulness weare trying to inculcate in all our soldiers. I observed the entireoperation and he has demonstrated a great potential for leadership."Fyfe hesitated and for a moment a shadow of repugnance darkened hisfeatures as if, for purposes of camouflage, he were about to perform thenecessary but distasteful task of smearing mud over his crisp, shininguniform. "I am recommending Private Wims for a battlefield commission."
"A battlefield commission during a training exercise?" the captainscreeched incredulously.
Fyfe looked at him severely. "Captain, if you are unable to communicateexcept in those high tones, I would suggest a visit to the base hospitalfor some hormones." The general paused and looked around. "It seems,captain, you've lost the hill." He glanced at his watch. "And in recordtime, too."
"Sir," the captain said, "I won't accept that. This is a limitedtraining exercise conducted without benefit of full communications,weapons or elaborate tactics. Blue company had no right to send a manbehind our lines to--"
"Captain," Fyfe said with annoyance, "you are the most argumentativecorpse I have ever encountered. I'm leaving now to get thatrecommendation off to Washington. In the meantime, have someone tellCaptain Aronsen to see that Wims is not assassinated before we get himhis lieutenancy."
* * * * *
Lieutenant Wims unfolded out of the jeep into the jungle mud. The driverpointed to a cluster of tents sagging under the weight of the streamingrain. "You'll find Major Hecker in there."
"Thanks fer the ride," Wims said as he wrestled his gear out of thejeep. He located the headquarters tent and an orderly brought him in tothe major. "Lieutenant Dolliver Wims reportin' fer dooty, suh," thesaluting Wims said crisply.
Major Hecker's hand slid wearily to the vicinity of his fatigued andunshaven face in return salute. "Welcome, lieutenant, to Hlangtan,Burma's foremost nothing." Wims handed his orders to the major who saidas he accepted them, "You'll be taking the third platoon of A company.They lost their lieutenant two days ago." The major glanced at theorders and exploded. "What do they mean, 'attached to your command as anobserver'? I need a platoon leader! What are you supposed to observe?"
Wims shifted uneasily. "Ah cain't rightly say, suh." The truth of thematter was that Wims didn't really know. His commission had beenvirtually thrown at him. In Washington he had been vaguely briefed thathe was to be sent to the front in Burma on a mission of the utmostimportance and not to breathe a word to anyone. It was only when healighted from the plane in Rangoon that he fully realized that actuallyno one had breathed a word to him about what exactly he was to do. Hisorders merely stated that he was to get as close to the enemy aspossible and observe.
The major regarded him nastily. "What's that insignia you're wearing?They look like question marks."
"Ah guess they do," Wims replied unhappily.
"Well are they?" the major inquired with a soft shout.
"Ah guess they are, suh."
"You guess!" The major now regarded him with open animosity. "And Isuppose you don't know what they stand for."
"Well, suh, Ah tried to find out but somehow Ah couldn't get a straightansuh."
"O.K., O.K., Lieutenant Cloak and Dagger, but if you don't wantquestions why wear the things? If the Commies know you're a special andcatch you--"
"But Ah'm not no special nuthin'. Ah'm jus'--"
"Yeah, sure." The major poked a grimy finger at the paper before him andgrinned almost savagely. "It says here you're to operate with our mostforward units. That's just fine. I've got a patrol going out tonight.They will take you close enough to sit in their ever-lovin' yellowlaps."
As Wims was leaving the major suddenly called after him. "Say,lieutenant, since you're some kind of special agent you probably have an'in' at the Pentagon. Will you pass the word that I need a looeyreplacement? One that doesn't wear punctuation marks."
* * * * *
The patrol had not been out twenty minutes before it fearfully decidedit had better ditch this boy lieutenant who, with each step, sounded asif he were setting off a room full of mousetraps. At a whispered signalfrom the sergeant in command, the patrol slid noiselessly off the trailand dropped to the ground as the groping Wims went clattering by in thedarkness. Within the hour Wims tripped over a Chinese patrol that laycowering in the ferns as it listened apprehensively to what it thoughtwas an approaching enemy battalion.
The next several days were confusing ones for Wims. With little food orsleep he was hustled from place to place and endlessly questioned byofficers of increasing rank. He was passed up to the divisional levelwhere he was briefly interrogated by a Russian officer-advisor to theChinese headquarters. There seemed to be some disagreement between theRussian and Chinese officers concerning Wims and they were almostshouting when he was pulled from the room and thrown back into his cell.
In the chill, early hours of the following morning he was yanked out ofan embarrassing nightmare where he dreamed he went to a hoedown in hisbriefs. He was squeezed between two furtive men into a shade-drawnlimousine with unillumined headlamps and after a frenzied ride thevehicle screeched to a halt. He heard a roaring and in the darkness hewas dimly aware that he was being shoved into an airplane. After that hewas certain of nothing as he plunged gratefully back into sleep.
Wims was back at the hoedown only this time without even his briefs. Andall the interrogators had stopped dancing and were circled around him,glaring and demanding to know what he was hiding. As they closed in uponhim he was snatched from the dream by two guards who prodded him out ofhis cell, down a bleak corridor and into a large room. The windows werehidden by drawn, dark-green shades and two low-hanging, unshadedelectric-light bulbs provided a harsh illumination. The chamber wassparsely furnished with a splintered desk, several battered chairs andhalf a dozen Russian MVD officers.
A man, so thick and heavy in appearance and movement that he wasobviously a concrete abutment come to life, stepped up to Wims. Theman's stony visage cracked in a slow, cold smile as he rumbled inEnglish, "Welcome to Moscow, Lieutenant Dolliver Wims. I am ColonelSergei Bushmilov. I am your friend." The word "friend" sounded rathersqueaky as if it had not been used in years and needed oiling.
Wims glanced around the room. These people were like unshielded reactorsthrowing off hard radiations of hostility. "Ah sure could use a friend,"he said with utmost fervency.
"Good!" said Bushmilov. "There are some things I wish to know and youare going to tell to me because we are friends."
"Ah kin only give you mah name, rank an' serial number, suh." Wims sawthe colonel's face harden and his fist clench. Just then a burst ofangry shouting and scuffling erupted in the corridor. Suddenly the doorwas flung open and half a dozen Chinese stormed into the room tra
iling acouple of protesting Russian guards. Two of the Chinese were civilianattaches from the embassy and the remainder were uniformed, militaryintelligence officers.
* * * * *
Bushmilov whirled and immediately recognized the foremost man. "ColonelPeng! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed in startled surprise.
Colonel Peng replied in an askew English, the only language he had incommon with Bushmilov. "Our American lieutenant, you
I Was a Teen-Age Secret Weapon Page 4
