CHAPTER XIX
THE VOICE IN THE DARKNESS
Just the dark head upon the pillow. That was all Jane saw at first, andshe saw it in sunshine. Somehow she had always pictured a darkenedroom, forgetting that to him darkness and light were both alike, andthat there was no need to keep out the sunlight, with its healing,purifying, invigorating powers.
He had requested to have his bed moved into a corner--the cornerfarthest from door, fireplace, and windows--with its left side againstthe wall, so that he could feel the blank wall with his hand and,turning close to it, know himself shut away from all possible prying ofunseen eyes. This was how he now lay, and he did not turn as theyentered.
Just the dear dark head upon the pillow. It was all Jane saw at first.Then his right arm in the sleeve of a blue silk sleeping-suit,stretched slightly behind him as he lay on his left side, the thinwhite hand limp and helpless on the coverlet.
Jane put her hands behind her. The impulse was so strong to fall on herknees beside the bed, take that poor hand in both her strong ones, andcover it with kisses. Ah surely, surely then, the dark head would turnto her, and instead of seeking refuge in the hard, blank wall, he wouldhide that sightless face in the boundless tenderness of her arms. ButDeryck's warning voice sounded, grave and persistent: "If you valueyour own eventual happiness and his--" So Jane put her hands behind herback.
Dr. Mackenzie advanced to the side of the bed and laid his hand uponGarth's shoulder. Then, with an incredible softening of his ratherstrident voice, he spoke so slowly and quietly, that Jane could hardlybelieve this to be the man who had jerked out questions, comments, andorders to her, during the last half-hour.
"Good morning, Mr. Dalmain. Simpson tells me it has been an excellentnight, the best you have yet had. Now that is good. No doubt you wererelieved to be rid of Johnson, capable though he was, and to be back inthe hands of your own man again. These trained attendants are nevercontent with doing enough; they always want to do just a little more,and that little more is a weariness to the patient.--Now I have broughtyou to-day one who is prepared to do all you need, and yet who, I feelsure, will never annoy you by attempting more than you desire. SirDeryck Brand's prescription, Nurse Rosemary Gray, is here; and Ibelieve she is prepared to be companion, secretary, reader, anythingyou want, in fact a new pair of eyes for you, Mr. Dalmain, with aclever brain behind them, and a kind, sympathetic, womanly heartdirecting and controlling that brain. Nurse Gray arrived this morning,Mr. Dalmain."
No response from the bed. But Garth's hand groped for the wall; touchedit, then dropped listlessly back.
Jane could not realise that SHE was "Nurse Gray." She only longed thather poor boy need not be bothered with the woman! It all seemed, atthis moment, a thing apart from herself and him.
Dr. Mackenzie spoke again. "Nurse Rosemary Gray is in the room, Mr.Dalmain."
Then Garth's instinctive chivalry struggled up through the blackness.He did not turn his head, but his right hand made a little courteoussign of greeting, and he said in a low, distinct voice: "How do you do?I am sure it is most kind of you to come so far. I hope you had an easyjourney."
Jane's lips moved, but no sound would pass them.
Dr. Rob made answer quickly, without looking at her: "Miss Gray had avery good journey, and looks as fresh this morning as if she had spentthe night in bed. I can see she is a cold-water young lady."
"I hope my housekeeper will make her comfortable. Please give orders,"said the tired voice; and Garth turned even closer to the wall, as ifto end the conversation.
Dr. Rob attacked his moustache, and stood looking down at the blue silkshoulder for a minute, silently.
Then he turned and spoke to Jane. "Come over to the window, Nurse Gray.I want to show you a special chair we have obtained for Mr. Dalmain, inwhich he will be most comfortable as soon as he feels inclined to situp. You see? Here is an adjustable support for the head, if necessary;and these various trays and stands and movable tables can be swunground into any position by a touch. I consider it excellent, and SirDeryck approved it. Have you seen one of this kind before, Nurse Gray?"
"We had one at the hospital, but not quite so complete as this," saidJane.
In the stillness of that sunlit chamber, the voice from the bed brokeupon them with startling suddenness; and in it was the cry of one lostin an abyss of darkness, but appealing to them with a frantic demandfor instant enlightenment.
"WHO is in the room?" cried Garth Dalmain.
His face was still turned to the wall; but he had raised himself on hisleft elbow, in an attitude which betokened intent listening.
Dr. Mackenzie answered. "No one is in the room, Mr. Dalmain, but myselfand Nurse Gray."
"There IS some one else in the room!" said Garth violently. "How dareyou lie to me! Who was speaking?"
Then Jane came quickly to the side of the bed. Her hands weretrembling, but her voice was perfectly under control.
"It was I who spoke, sir," she said; "Nurse Rosemary Gray. And I feelsure I know why my voice startled you. Dr. Brand warned me it might doso. He said I must not be surprised if you detected a remarkablesimilarity between my voice and that of a mutual friend of yours andhis. He said he had often noticed it."
Garth, in his blindness, remained quite still; listening andconsidering. At length he asked slowly: "Did he say whose voice?"
"Yes, for I asked him. He said it was Miss Champion's."
Garth's head dropped back upon the pillow. Then without turning he saidin a tone which Jane knew meant a smile on that dear hidden face: "Youmust forgive me, Miss Gray, for being so startled and so stupidly,unpardonably agitated. But, you know, being blind is still such a newexperience, and every fresh voice which breaks through the blackcurtain of perpetual night, means so infinitely more than the speakerrealises. The resemblance in your voice to that of the lady Sir Deryckmentioned is so remarkable that, although I know her to be at thismoment in Egypt, I could scarcely believe she was not in the room. Andyet the most unlikely thing in the world would be that she should havebeen in this room. So I owe you and Dr. Mackenzie most humble apologiesfor my agitation and unbelief."
He stretched out his right hand, palm upwards, towards Jane.
Jane clasped her shaking hands behind her.
"Now, Nurse, if you please," broke in Dr. Mackenzie's rasping voicefrom the window, "I have a few more details to explain to you overhere."
They talked together for a while without interruption, until Dr. Robremarked: "I suppose I will have to be going."
Then Garth said: "I wish to speak to you alone, doctor, for a fewminutes."
"I will wait for you downstairs, Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane, and wasmoving towards the door, when an imperious gesture from Dr. Rob stoppedher, and she turned silently to the fireplace. She could not see anyneed now for this subterfuge, and it annoyed her. But the freckledlittle Napoleon of the moors was not a man to be lightly disobeyed. Hewalked to the door, opened and closed it; then returned to the bedside,drew up a chair, and sat down.
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," he said.
Garth sat up and turned towards him eagerly.
Then, for the first time, Jane saw his face.
"Doctor," he said, "tell me about this nurse. Describe her to me."
The tension in tone and attitude was extreme. His hands were clasped infront of him, as if imploring sight through the eyes of another. Histhin white face, worn with suffering, looked so eager and yet so blank.
"Describe her to me, doctor," he said; "this Nurse Rosemary Gray, asyou call her."
"But it is not a pet name of mine, my dear sir," said Dr. Robdeliberately. "It is the young lady's own name, and a pretty one, too.'Rosemary for remembrance.' Is not that Shakespeare?"
"Describe her to me," insisted Garth, for the third time.
Dr. Mackenzie glanced at Jane. But she had turned her back, to hide thetears which were streaming down her cheeks. Oh, Garth! Oh, beautifulGarth of the shining eyes!
Dr. Rob drew Deryck's letter
from his pocket and studied it.
"Well," he said slowly, "she is a pretty, dainty little thing; just thesort of elegant young woman you would like to have about you, could yousee her."
"Dark or fair?" asked Garth.
The doctor glanced at what he could see of Jane's cheek, and at thebrown hands holding on to the mantelpiece.
"Fair," said Dr. Rob, without a moment's hesitation.
Jane started and glanced round. Why should this little man be lying onhis own account?
"Hair?" queried the strained voice from the bed.
"Well," said Dr. Rob deliberately, "it is mostly tucked away under amodest little cap; but, were it not for that wise restraint, I shouldsay it might be that kind of fluffy, fly-away floss-silk, which putsthe finishing touch to a dainty, pretty woman."
Garth lay back, panting, and pressed his hands over his sightless face.
"Doctor," he said, "I know I have given you heaps of trouble, andto-day you must think me a fool. But if you do not wish me to go mad inmy blindness, send that girl away. Do not let her enter my room again."
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," said Dr. Mackenzie patiently; "let us consider thisthing. We may take it you have nothing against this young ladyexcepting a chance resemblance in her voice to that of a friend ofyours now far away. Was not this other lady a pleasant person?"
Garth laughed suddenly, bitterly; a laugh like a hard, sob. "Oh, yes,"he said, "she was quite a pleasant person."
"'Rosemary for remembrance,'" quoted Dr. Rob. "Then why should notNurse Rosemary call up a pleasant remembrance? Also it seems to me tobe a kind, sweet, womanly voice, which is something to be thankful fornowadays, when so many women talk, fit to scare the crows; cackle,cackle, cackle--like stones rattling in a tin canister."
"But can't you understand, doctor," said Garth wearily, "that it isjust the remembrance and the resemblance which, in my blindness, Icannot bear? I have nothing against her voice, Heaven knows! But I tellyou, when I heard it first I thought it was--it was she--theother--come to me--here--and--" Garth's voice ceased suddenly.
"The pleasant lady?" suggested Dr. Rob. "I see. Well now, Mr. Dalmain,Sir Deryck said the best thing that could happen would be if you cameto wish for visitors. It appears you have many friends ready andanxious to come any distance in order to bring you help or cheer. Whynot let me send for this pleasant lady? I make no doubt she would come.Then when she herself had sat beside you, and talked with you, thenurse's voice would trouble you no longer."
Garth sat up again, his face wild with protest. Jane turned on thehearth-rug, and stood watching it.
"No, doctor," he said. "Oh, my God, no! In the whole world, she is thelast person I would have enter this room!"
Dr. Mackenzie bent forward to examine minutely a microscopic darn inthe sheet. "And why?" he asked very low.
"Because," said Garth, "that pleasant lady, as you rightly call her,has a noble, generous heart, and it might overflow with pity for myblindness; and pity from her I could not accept. It would be the laststraw upon my heavy cross. I can bear the cross, doctor; I hope in timeto carry it manfully, until God bids me lay it down. But that laststraw--HER pity--would break me. I should fall in the dark, to rise nomore."
"I see," said Dr. Rob gently. "Poor laddie! The pleasant lady must notcome."
He waited silently a few minutes, then pushed back his chair and stoodup.
"Meanwhile," he said, "I must rely on you, Mr. Dalmain, to be agreeableto Nurse Rosemary Gray, and not to make her task too difficult. I darenot send her back. She is Dr. Brand's choice. Besides--think of thecruel blow to her in her profession. Think of it, man!--sent off at amoment's notice, after spending five minutes in her patient's room,because, forsooth, her voice maddened him! Poor child! What a statementto enter on her report! See her appear before the matron with it! Can'tyou be generous and unselfish enough to face whatever trial there maybe for you in this bit of a coincidence?"
Garth hesitated. "Dr. Mackenzie," he said at last, "will you swear tome that your description of this young lady was accurate in everydetail?"
"'Swear not at all,'" quoted Dr. Rob unctuously. "I had a pious mother,laddie. Besides I can do better than that. I will let you into asecret. I was reading from Sir Deryck's letter. I am no authority onwomen myself, having always considered dogs and horses less ensnaringand more companionable creatures. So I would not trust my own eyes, butpreferred to give you Sir Deryck's description. You will allow him tobe a fine judge of women. You have seen Lady Brand?"
"Seen her? Yes," said Garth eagerly, a slight flush tinting his thincheeks, "and more than that, I've painted her. Ah, such apicture!--standing at a table, the sunlight in her hair, arranginggolden daffodils in an old Venetian vase. Did you see it, doctor, inthe New Gallery, two years ago?"
"No," said Dr. Rob. "I am not finding myself in galleries, new or old.But"--he turned a swift look of inquiry on Jane, who nodded--"NurseGray was telling me she had seen it."
"Really?" said Garth, interested. "Somehow one does not connect nurseswith picture galleries."
"I don't know why not," said Dr. Rob. "They must go somewhere for theiroutings. They can't be everlastingly nosing shop windows in allweathers; so why not go in and have a look at your pictures? Besides,Miss Rosemary is a young lady of parts. Sir Deryck assures me she is agentlewoman by birth, well-read and intelligent.--Now, laddie, what isit to be?"
Garth considered silently.
Jane turned away and gripped the mantelpiece. So much hung in thebalance during that quiet minute.
At length Garth spoke, slowly, hesitatingly. "If only I could quitedisassociate the voice from the--from that other personality. If Icould be quite sure that, though her voice is so extraordinarily like,she herself is not--" he paused, and Jane's heart stood still. Was adescription of herself coming?--"is not at all like the face and figurewhich stand clear in my remembrance as associated with that voice."
"Well," said Dr. Rob, "I'm thinking we can manage that for you. Thesenurses know their patients must be humoured. We will call the younglady back, and she shall kneel down beside your bed--Bless you! Shewon't mind, with me to play old Gooseberry!--and you shall pass yourhands over her face and hair, and round her little waist, and assureyourself, by touch, what an elegant, dainty little person it is, in ablue frock and white apron."
Garth burst out laughing, and his voice had a tone it had not yet held."Of all the preposterous suggestions!" he said. "Good heavens! What anass I must have been making of myself! And I begin to think I haveexaggerated the resemblance. In a day or two, I shall cease to noticeit. And, look here, doctor, if she really was interested in thatportrait--Here, I say--where are you going?"
"All right, sir," said Dr. Rob. "I was merely moving a chair over tothe fireside, and taking the liberty of pouring out a glass of water.Really you are becoming abnormally quick of hearing. Now I am allattention. What about the portrait?"
"I was only going to say, if she the nurse, you know--is reallyinterested in my portrait of Lady Brand, there are studies of it up inthe studio, which she might care to see. If she brought them here anddescribed them to me I could explain--But, I say, doctor. I can't havedainty young ladies in and out of my room while I'm in bed. Whyshouldn't I get up and try that chair of yours? Send Simpson along; andtell him to look out my brown lounge-suit and orange tie. Good heavens!what a blessing to have the MEMORY of colours and of how they blend!Think of the fellows who are BORN blind. And please ask Miss Gray to goout in the pine wood, or on the moor, or use the motor, or rest, or doanything she likes. Tell her to make herself quite at home; but on noaccount to come up here until Simpson reports me ready."
"You may rely on Nurse Gray to be most discreet," said Dr. Rob; whosevoice had suddenly become very husky. "And as for getting up, laddie,don't go too fast. You will not find your strength equal to much. But Iam bound to tell you there is nothing to keep you in bed if you feellike rising."
"Good-bye, doctor," said Garth, groping for his hand; "and I am sorry Is
hall never be able to offer to paint Mrs. Mackenzie!"
"You'd have to paint her with a shaggy head, four paws, and the softestamber eyes in the world," said Dr. Rob tenderly; "and, looking out fromthose eyes, the most faithful, loving dog-heart in creation. In all theyears we've kept house together she has never failed to meet me with awelcome, never contradicted me or wanted the last word, and neverworried me for so much as the price of a bonnet. There's a woman foryou!--Well, good-bye, lad, and God Almighty bless you. And be carefulhow you go. Do not be surprised if I look in again on my way back frommy rounds to see how you like that chair."
Dr. Mackenzie held open the door. Jane passed noiselessly out beforehim. He followed, signing to her to precede him down the stairs.
In the library, Jane turned and faced him. He put her quietly into achair and stood before her. The bright blue eyes were moist, beneaththe shaggy brows.
"My dear," he said, "I feel myself somewhat of a blundering old fool.You must forgive me. I never contemplated putting you through such anordeal. I perfectly understand that, while he hesitated, you must havefelt your whole career at stake. I see you have been weeping; but youmust not take it too much to heart that our patient made so much ofyour voice resembling this Miss Champion's. He will forget all about itin a day or two, and you will be worth more to him than a dozen MissChampions. See what good you have done him already. Here he is wantingto get up and explain his pictures to you. Never you fear. You willsoon win your way, and I shall be able to report to Sir Deryck what afine success you have made of the case. Now I must see the valet andgive him very full instructions. And I recommend you to go for a blowon the moor and get an appetite for lunch. Only put on something warmerthan that. You will have no sick-room work to do; and having dulyimpressed me with your washableness and serviceableness, you may aswell wear something comfortable to protect you from our Highland nip.Have you warmer clothing with you?"
"It is the rule of our guild to wear uniform," said Jane; "but I have agrey merino."
"Ah, I see. Well, wear the grey merino. I shall return in two hours toobserve how he stands that move. Now, don't let me keep you."
"Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane quietly, "may I ask why you described me asfair; and my very straight, heavy, plainly coiled hair, as fluffy,fly-away floss-silk?"
Dr. Rob had already reached the bell, but at her question he stayed hishand and, turning, met Jane's steadfast eyes with the shrewd turquoisegleam of his own.
"Why certainly you may ask, Nurse Rosemary Gray," he said, "though Iwonder you think it necessary to do so. It was of course perfectlyevident to me that, for reasons of his own, Sir Deryck wished to paintan imaginary portrait of you to the patient, most likely representingsome known ideal of his. As the description was so different from thereality, I concluded that, to make the portrait complete, the twotouches unfortunately left to me to supply, had better be as unlikewhat I saw before me as the rest of the picture. And now, if you willbe good enough--" Dr. Rob rang the bell violently.
"And why did you take the risk of suggesting that he should feel me?"persisted Jane.
"Because I knew he was a gentleman," shouted Dr. Rob angrily. "Oh, comein, Simpson--come in, my good fellow--and shut that door! And GodAlmighty be praised that He made you and me MEN, and not women!"
A quarter of an hour later, Jane watched him drive away, thinking toherself: "Deryck was right. But what a queer mixture of shrewdness andobtuseness, and how marvellously it worked out to the furtherance ofour plans."
But as she watched the dog-cart start off at a smart trot across themoor, she would have been more than a little surprised could she haveoverheard Dr. Rob's muttered remarks to himself, as he gathered up thereins and cheered on his sturdy cob. He had a habit of talking over hisexperiences, half aloud, as he drove from case to case; the two sidesof his rather complex nature apparently comparing notes with eachother. And the present conversation opened thus:
"Now what has brought the Honourable Jane up here?" said Dr. Rob.
"Dashed if I know," said Dr. Mackenzie.
"You must not swear, laddie," said Dr. Rob; "you had a pious mother."
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