"Don't call me 'sir'! Yes; when people are tiresome she often says shewould like to shake them; and one has a mental vision of how theirteeth would chatter. There is a certain little lady of our acquaintancewhom we always call 'Mrs. Do-and-don't.' She isn't in our set; but shecalls upon it; and sometimes it asks her to lunch, for fun. If youinquire whether she likes a thing, she says: 'Well, I do, and I don't.'If you ask whether she is going to a certain function, she says: 'Well,I am, and I'm not.' And if you send her a note, imploring a straightanswer to a direct question, the answer comes back: 'Yes AND no.' MissChampion used to say she would like to take her up by the scruff of herfeather boa, and shake her, asking at intervals: 'Shall I stop?' so asto wring from Mrs. Do-and-don't a definite affirmative, for once."
"Could Miss Champion carry out such a threat? Is she a very massiveperson?"
"Well, she could, you know; but she wouldn't. She is most awfully kind,even to little freaks she laughs at. No, she isn't massive. That worddoes not describe her at all. But she is large, and very finelydeveloped. Do you know the Venus of Milo? Yes; in the Louvre. I am gladyou know Paris. Well, just imagine the Venus of Milo in a tailor-madecoat and skirt,--and you have Miss Champion."
Nurse Rosemary laughed, hysterically. Either the Venus of Milo, or MissChampion, or this combination of both, proved too much for her.
"Little Dicky Brand summed up Mrs. Do-and-don't rather well," pursuedGarth. "She was calling at Wimpole Street, on Lady Brand's 'at home'day. And Dicky stood talking to me, in his black velvets and whitewaistcoat, a miniature edition of Sir Deryck. He indicated Mrs.Do-and-don't on a distant lounge, and remarked: 'THAT lady never KNOWS;she always THINKS. I asked her if her little girl might come to myparty, and she said: "I think so." Now if she had asked ME if I wascoming to HER party, I should have said: "Thank you; I am." It is verytrying when people only THINK about important things, such as littlegirls and parties; because their thinking never amounts to much. Itdoes not so much matter what they think about other things--theweather, for instance; because that all happens, whether they think ornot. Mummie asked that lady whether it was raining when she got here;and she said: "I THINK not." I can't imagine why Mummie always wants toknow what her friends think about the weather. I have heard her askseven ladies this afternoon whether it is raining. Now if father or Iwanted to know whether it was raining we should just step over to thewindow, and look out; and then come back and go do with reallyinteresting conversation. But Mummie asks them whether it is raining,or whether they think it has been raining, or is going to rain; andwhen they have told her, she hurries away and asks somebody else. Iasked the thinking lady in the feather thing, whether she knew who thefather and mother were, of the young lady whom Cain married; and shesaid: "Well, I do; and I don't." I said: "If you DO, perhaps you willtell me. And if you DON'T, perhaps you would like to take my hand, andwe will walk over together and ask the Bishop--the one with the thinlegs, and the gold cross, talking to Mummie." But she thought she hadto go, quite in a hurry. So I saw her off; and then asked the Bishopalone. Bishops are most satisfactory kind of people; because they arequite sure about everything; and you feel safe in quoting them toNurse. Nurse told Marsdon that this one is in "sheep's clothing,"because he wears a gold cross. I saw the cross; but I saw no sheep'sclothing. I was looking out for the kind of woolly thing our new curatewears on his back in church. Should you call that "sheep's clothing"? Iasked father, and he said: "No. Bunny-skin." And mother seemed asshocked as if father and I had spoken in church, instead of just as wecame out. And she said: "It is a B.A. hood." Possibly she thinks "baa"is spelled with only one "a." Anyway father and I felt it best to letthe subject drop.'"
Nurse Rosemary laughed. "How exactly like Dicky," she said. "I couldhear his grave little voice, and almost see him pull down his smallwaistcoat!"
"Why, do you know the little chap?" asked Garth.
"Yes," replied Nurse Rosemary; "I have stayed with them. Talking toDicky is an education; and Baby Blossom is a sweet romp. Here comesSimpson. How quickly the evening has flown. Then may I be off onThursday?"
"I am helpless," said Garth. "I cannot say 'no.' But suppose you do notcome back?"
"Then you can wire to Dr. Brand."
"I believe you want to leave me," said Garth reproachfully.
"I do, and I don't!" laughed Nurse Rosemary; and fled from hisoutstretched hands.
* * * * *
When Jane had locked the letter-bag earlier that evening, and handed itto Simpson, she had slipped in two letters of her own. One wasaddressed to
Georgina, Duchess of Meldrum
Portland Place
The other, to
Sir Deryck Brand
Wimpole Street
Both were marked: Urgent. If absent, forward immediately.
The Rosary Page 34
