by Cora Reilly
Mansueto watched Cassio and me like a hawk. He was obviously protective of his son. “When are you going to bless us with another grandchild?”
I choked on a piece of roasted asparagus.
Daniele looked between his dad and me. I wasn’t sure if he understood. At least, Simona was busy squishing baby carrots in her hands.
“I’m blessing you with a grandchild any day now,” Mia said pointedly, patting her round belly.
Mansueto waved her off. “And I’m delighted about your son, but what about you, Cassio?”
Cassio set down his fork and knife slowly. A vein throbbed in his throat. I touched his leg under the table. I didn’t want a fight at Christmas dinner. “I have two small children. That’s enough.”
“You should keep your young wife in mind.”
This wasn’t about me. Maybe Mansueto worried that Andrea was indeed the father, not Cassio. Continuing the bloodline was something deeply ingrained in every mafia man, so it was astonishing that Cassio hadn’t done a paternity test the moment he’d found Gaia dead.
“I’m happy with what we have,” I said quickly.
Cassio touched my hand, gratefulness flashing in his eyes.
“Now, but what about in a few years?”
“Father,” Cassio said sharply. “That’s none of your business.”
Mia turned to me. “I hear you paint?”
I could have hugged her and gladly took her up on the topic change, even if Mansueto obviously wasn’t going to drop the topic anytime soon.
It was difficult to suppress my annoyance during dinner, so I was relieved when everyone left eventually. Father kept nagging me to take a paternity test. This was another subtle hint that I might not have an heir yet. After I’d brought Simona to bed, I found Giulia in the doorway to Daniele’s room. “Daniele wants to be tucked in by you tonight.”
I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. It had been our ritual, one I’d cherished and missed whenever I came home too late—a thing of the past. I moved to Giulia then peered past her toward the bed. Daniele was already in his PJs and sitting atop his comforter, stroking Loulou. Dogs didn’t belong in bed. It was an opinion I stood by, but I didn’t have it in me to throw her out. “You want me to read your bedtime story?”
Daniele nodded. It looked hesitant, but it was there. I met Giulia’s gaze, wondering what she’d done. She gave me a hopeful smile. Warmth crowded in my chest. I’d never felt this kind of… tenderness toward a woman. I leaned down and kissed her briefly before I moved toward the bed.
Daniele’s brows puckered. I sank down beside him and grabbed the picture book from the nightstand. I didn’t get the chance to open it.
“You kissed Giulia.”
I put down the book as I tried to pull myself together. I’d missed Daniele’s voice, even if he asked difficult questions. I’d avoided physical closeness with Giulia in front of him so far, worried it might upset him. “Yes.”
“Why?” He looked curious, not sad or angry. I moved a bit closer and stroked his head.
“Because I really like Giulia.”
“You liked Mom too.”
Looking into his brown eyes, Gaia’s eyes, I couldn’t do anything but lie. “I did.” There had been a time when this statement would have held true. I liked her in the beginning until eventually only resentment remained.
“I miss Mom.” His admittance turned my mouth dry. Of course I knew he missed her, even if she hadn’t taken care of him and Simona in the last few months of her life.
“I know.” I pulled him against my chest, hoping he wouldn’t draw back. He didn’t. He allowed me to hold him, and this small gesture alone was already the greatest Christmas gift I could imagine. I was glad he didn’t ask if I missed her too. One lie was enough.
“I like Giulia too,” he said quietly.
My hand on his head froze. “Good.” My voice sounded strange to my own ears. That never happened. I always kept my cool no matter if we were under attack, if I killed or tortured someone, but this…
“Will she stay?”
“Yes,” I said immediately. I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
“Okay.” Daniele’s voice sounded drowsier now. These last few months I had missed the feel of his small body becoming soft against me. I tucked him in and hadn’t even read the first page before he was already asleep.
Loulou peeked up at me through half-closed eyes. When she wasn’t pooing everywhere or snapping, she was tolerable. I stood and returned to the bedroom, surprised to find Giulia waiting for me. I pulled her against me, needing her close. “And? How did it go?”
“Good.”
She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. There was more I wanted to say. Something I’d never said to anyone but my children. I’d formed the exact same words before, but they stuck to my tongue like glue.
“I thought we could exchange our gifts tonight. Tomorrow morning should be about the kids and Loulou opening their presents.”
I chuckled. “Don’t tell me you got the dog a present.”
Giulia pursed her lips. “Of course. She’s part of this family. And I got presents for Elia, Domenico, and Sybil as well.”
“How did your parents manage to create someone like you?”
“Christian turned out well too.”
I didn’t want to talk about him. Our interactions had been tense. He didn’t trust me, and I didn’t trust him. That wasn’t a good foundation for a work relationship. “Let me get my present. It’s in my office.”
“I’ll come with you. My present for you is downstairs as well.”
Giulia took my hand and pulled me toward her hobby room. I’d never set foot inside of it. “Close your eyes.”
I gave her a scolding look. “I’m not twelve.”
“You’re a killjoy, old man. Now close your eyes.”
I squeezed her ass cheek hard in warning, making her jump, but then I closed my eyes. She had me wrapped around her finger, and I wasn’t even trying to free myself. Her fingers tightened around my hand as she led me into the room. “Stop right here.” I did. The smell of fresh paint hung heavily in the air. “Now open your eyes.”
At first, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to see and was confused why Giulia had taken the picture down from the wall in our bedroom. Then I realized it wasn’t the photo. It was a detailed painting of the beach in front of the house. “Did you paint it?”
“Yes,” she said, straightening her bangs and biting her lip.
I moved closer, amazed by the detail, by the liveliness of the ocean. I wasn’t an art lover and had only visited a couple of museums because business required it.
“Do you like it?”
This meant a lot to her. The painting and her art in general. I hadn’t given it much thought so far. “It’s stunning.”
A smile broke free on Giulia’s face. “Really?”
“Really.” I kissed her but before I could lose myself in her scent and taste, I stepped back. “Let me get your present.”
Excitement flashed on her face, and I half expected her to follow me but she waited impatiently. When I returned with the small parcel, she dashed toward me. “What is it?”
“It would defy the purpose of gift wrapping if I told you.”
She rolled her eyes and snatched the gift from my hands, then unwrapped it with as much restraint as Daniele. She opened the velveteen lid and her lips fell open. “Sunflower earrings?”
I’d originally bought her elegant creoles, jewelry I would have chosen—nothing Giulia would have liked. Three days ago, I changed my mind and searched the internet for sunflower earrings. Most of them had been horrid, bright yellow atrocities. Then I stumbled upon Giulia’s present on the website of a goldsmith. The sunflowers were elegant, small, and completely made from gold. They were elegant yet quirky. They were Giulia.
“They are so beautiful,” she breathed. “I thought you hated when I wear sunflowers.”
“You love them.”
“Oh, Ca
ssio.” She took them out and fastened them to her ears. “And?”
“Beautiful.” I couldn’t wait anymore. I picked Giulia up. She giggled. “Where?”
“In bed.”
“Not the pool table?”
“No.” Tonight, I wanted to make love to her, not fuck her like two randy teenagers, even if one of us was a randy teenager. When I laid her down on the bed in front of me, I realized this would be something new for me too.
I took my time, was gentler, less urgent than usual, and after her initial confusion, Giulia mirrored my unhurried moves. Afterward, she curled up against me. “This felt different—as if it meant something.”
I heard the question in her voice but wasn’t sure what to say. I nodded. It had. Our first night together, I’d been this careful because Giulia needed me to be. Tonight, I needed it to figure out what was going on, to confirm what I’d never considered an option.
“Was it ever like this with a woman?”
Giulia’s voice was curious, but behind it, I could hear a flicker of… jealousy perhaps. I didn’t have to lie. “No. Not with Gaia, and before her I only had affairs.”
“And after?”
“There was no one after.”
Giulia peered up in surprise. “Really? You didn’t sleep with anyone since Gaia’s death?”
“No. I had other things on my mind.” I hesitated, wondering if I should tell her about that one slip. “But right after I found Gaia with Andrea, I slept with a woman I met when I was drunk in a bar. It was meant as a revenge fuck. To prove to myself that other women wanted me even if my own wife didn’t. I didn’t feel better afterward and never told Gaia.”
“I want only you, and when other women check you out, I don’t like it at all.”
A laugh burst out of me. “Jealous?”
“A bit.” She swung herself up and straddled my hips. “Like you, I don’t like to share.”
She didn’t have to worry. “To be honest, you’re demanding enough. I doubt I could satisfy another woman beside you.”
Her eyes widened in indignation. I flipped her over despite her pretend struggles and slammed into her, fucking her hard and fast, because there was no need to confirm what I felt anymore.
Giulia organized Simona’s first birthday party in January, baking a cake and decorating everything with balloons. My family came over around teatime.
Simona had done her first steps by now and followed Giulia like a puppy. She was too young to remember her mother. For her, there was only Giulia.
Faro and his wife and two children were invited as well. He joined me in a quiet moment. “She got Daniele to talk again.”
I nodded, following Giulia with my eyes. She righted the sunflower in Simona’s hair. My daughter’s dress also had a sunflower print. She looked adorable, so I gave up protesting. “She did. She’s good with the kids.”
“And good with you,” Faro said with a suggestive grin.
I narrowed my eyes.
“Come on, Cassio. It’s like you fell into the fountain of youth, and you’re less cranky than in the past. I’m happy for you.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Your father approached me.” From the change in Faro’s voice, I knew I wouldn’t like what he had to say.
“What did he want?”
“He asked me to talk to you about having a child with Giulia. He thinks you should be prepared for any eventualities.”
“The eventualities being that Daniele’s not my son?” I gritted out.
Faro shrugged. “It is an option, and not an unlikely one at that.”
“I don’t need another child, and I certainly don’t need you or my father to meddle in my business.”
Faro raised his arms. “I didn’t want to meddle. That’s why I told you. But your dad won’t give up anytime soon. He’s worried.”
“If he accepted that Daniele and Simona are my kids, he could stop worrying.”
“You tell him.”
I made my way over to my parents, who were talking to Mia, who was cradling her newborn son in her arms. She looked exhausted.
“Stop it, Father.”
He knew what I meant without me having to elaborate. “I’m trying to think of your future.”
I motioned toward Daniele, who was holding Simona’s hand since she was still a bit unsteady on her legs. “There is my future. End of story.”
Mother touched my forearm. “We love them, but—”
“No but.”
They exchanged a look then nodded reluctantly.
Mia gave me a proud smile.
I hoped this matter was settled once and for all. The more Father kept digging, the likelier it was that word about this would get out.
After everyone was gone, Giulia and I played a round of pool. I needed the distraction, and she’d become quite good at distracting me.
“Tomorrow, you need to take Daniele to a preschool orientation. I made an appointment a few days ago.”
Bent over the table, Giulia froze. Then she straightened. “What? Why?”
“I want him to be around other kids. This preschool only takes in kids from our circles or our business associates. Daniele will be around his future soldiers. He’ll learn to assert himself among the other boys. If he’s only around you, he might become too soft.”
Anger crossed her face. I shook my head. “It’s a fact. You can’t help it. And I only spend the evenings and weekends with him. He needs to brawl and meet unruly boys.”
“Don’t interrupt me. You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Her tone set my teeth on edge. After the thing with my father today, I’d been eager for a fight.
“Then say what you want to say.”
“You should have discussed your plans with me.”
“My decision is made. Daniele needs the change.”
Giulia jabbed her finger against my chest. “Even so, we’re a family. I’m your wife. I deserve to be involved in a decision like that!”
“They’re my kids, Giulia.”
Her hurt hit me unexpectedly.
“No,” she said fiercely. “They are our kids, Cassio. I told you before and I’ll tell you again. I love all three of you.”
I stared, my anger slipping away faster than quicksand. “What?”
She nodded, looking furious. “You heard me. They aren’t just your kids. They are mine too. You can’t call them yours when you see fit. They are always ours, yours and mine. Maybe not by blood, but I’d bleed for them all the same. So don’t talk to me like these two kids don’t mean anything to me when they mean everything. Just like their stubborn, idiotic father.”
It was the first time Giulia had insulted me. The first time she’d gotten loud, almost screaming. Her anger didn’t kindle my own like it had done with Gaia in the past, because Giulia’s words were the best thing I’d ever heard. My thoughts tumbled over each other. Still, a small sliver of doubt remained as if my fucked-up mind couldn’t accept that someone as good, as kind, as loving as Giulia really was mine. Fuck, I loved her, even those bangs I hated in the beginning, even those horrendous sunflower dresses, even when she disrespected me by rolling her eyes. God, especially then. I grasped her cheeks. “I love you too.”
She blinked. Now it was her turn to be stunned. “What… you do?”
“You really have to ask?”
She searched my face with the same disbelief I’d felt only moments before. “Say it.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
I chuckled. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I kissed her, pulling her close. Eventually, she pulled back. “Are they my kids?”
“They are,” I said.
“Then allow me to decide with you.”
“I didn’t say how many days Daniele is supposed to spend in preschool. They have different options. How about you discuss them with the teachers tomorrow and then we’ll decide together?”
“Deal.” She smiled. �
�You really love me?”
I kissed her bangs. “Really.”
Faro and I met in my cigar lounge for our weekly check-in. Things in New York had been difficult at best, getting information on the matter even worse.
“Luca’s been particularly volatile these last couple of months. He’s been killing more men. Traitors, bikers, Bratva soldiers. People are worried if they make one wrong move, Luca will end them too.”
“People who don’t have anything to hide don’t have to worry.”
Faro grimaced. “Exactly, but we both know you didn’t tell Luca the truth about Andrea and Gaia. In his current mood, that could be your death sentence.”
“Only you and my father know. Father made sure of it.” Father had killed the cleaning team and Doctor Sal after Gaia’s death without consulting with me. He sometimes forgot I was now Underboss and didn’t need his meddling.
“What about Giulia?”
I frowned. “I trust Giulia.”
Faro shook his head. “After Gaia, you shouldn’t. What if she mentions something to her brother or God forbid her father? Felix will use his chance to either blackmail you or tell Luca so he gets bonus points.”
“Giulia won’t tell anyone.”
“They are her family. She’s a woman. They tend to overlook the shortcomings of their loved ones.”
“A fact we should be grateful for, or neither your nor my wife would put up with us.” Shortcomings didn’t even begin to cover my faults. Giulia accepted them. From the first day of our marriage, she’d taken care of Simona and Daniele selflessly, despite her young age.
“Talk to her,” Faro insisted.
A knock sounded and Giulia poked her head in. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, but Christian is here and says he needs to talk to you.”
