by Cora Reilly
“Do you want a popsicle?” I asked.
He bit his lip, looking down at the sofa, shuffling his legs.
“Daniele?” I got down on my haunches in front of him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He wrapped his arms around my neck, surprising me. “Hey, you okay?”
I hugged Daniele tightly to my chest, not sure why he needed my closeness but more than willing to give it to him. “Mom,” he whispered. I froze. Cassio tensed, his eyes tumultuous as he watched. Was Daniele thinking of Gaia? Missing her? I pulled back slowly.
Daniele looked down at my chin. “Can I call you mom?”
I choked and tears sprang into my eyes at his unexpected request.
Cassio’s face became still.
I kissed Daniele’s cheek then crushed him to me once more. “Yes. Nothing would make me happier. I love you.”
He began to sniffle, and I couldn’t hold back either. Cassio averted his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. After a moment, he came over to us and knelt beside us, hugging us both. I pressed my face into his chest, feeling his heartbeat thundering in his ribcage. Cassio kissed the top of my head then Daniele’s.
Daniele called me mom every chance he got that day, shyly at first, but later with adorable giddiness.
In the evening, Cassio and I sat on the swing in front of the house, watching the sunset. We hadn’t talked about today’s events yet. With Daniele and Simona around, there hadn’t been time.
“I didn’t expect it,” I said. Cassio knew what I was referring to without me stating it outright. His arm around my shoulders tightened, holding me even closer to his side.
“Me neither. He’s old enough to remember his mother, but I suppose even the memory will fade with time. He was too young to form a strong bond with her. I guess it’s a blessing after all.”
“I suppose so.” It seemed horribly cruel to be glad for Gaia’s early death, but for Simona and Daniele, it was probably easier that way. Had they both been older at the time of her suicide, they would have struggled even more. “Eventually, Daniele and Simona will ask questions about Gaia. It’s natural to want to know more about your birth mother.”
Cassio breathed out. “Until they do, I won’t talk about her. Everything I’ll tell them will be a lie anyway.”
“Not everything.”
“When we married, I thought I was doing damage control.”
My eyebrows climbed my forehead. Cassio chuckled seeing it. “I know. Not very romantic. But you were meant to make my life easier.”
“You expected to get a nanny with some sexy times thrown in the mix.”
“I can’t deny it. I didn’t consider the option that we would become partners, that I would enjoy your presence outside of the bedroom, and even that seemed unlikely after I first met you.”
“You know how to turn this romantic sunset, even more romantic,” I teased.
“Romantic isn’t my strong suit.”
“You don’t say?”
Cassio turned to me and cupped my cheek. “You surprised me and keep surprising me.”
“That’s good… right?”
“More than good.”
“Do you think you’ll ever fully trust me? Ever not expect I’ll cheat on you?”
“I trust you.” At my doubtful expression, he added, “I do, but I’m not sure if the nagging doubt at the back of my head will ever fully leave. Catching Gaia like that...” He shook his head then peered out toward the ocean. “I know most people are capable of doing very bad things. I see it every day. It’s difficult not to always expect the worst.”
I understood him. I couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to catch your partner cheating on you, especially with family. “I won’t cheat. I’ll work for your trust every day no matter how long it takes for your nagging voice to shut up. I love you.”
Cassio bent down, his lips touching mine. “If anyone can shut up my nagging voice, then it’s you. You’ve breathed new life into me.”
“You mean your newfound virility?” I teased, grinning.
Cassio didn’t smile. He stroked my hair, his eyes following his fingers as they slid down. “Into everything. I was dead inside, going through the motions of every day, living for work, for building a future for my kids. While doing that I forgot about the present, about living. You showed me how important it is to live in the moment, to experience my children’s life and not just plan for their future.” He kissed me. Then his smile became darker. “But my newfound virility is definitely another perk of your presence in my life.”
His hand slipped under my shirt. I looked around.
“Nobody can see us here.”
“I know,” I said. Then I stood and took a step back. “But I was thinking of trying out the beach…”
Cassio got up. “You’ll have sand everywhere.”
I took another step back and pulled my shirt over my head. “Maybe I’ll like the additional friction, old man.”
Cassio’s smile turned wolfish. “I think I need to dunk you in the ocean first to punish you for your insolence.”
I backed away, down the stairs, and Cassio stalked me like a hunter after his prey. “Run, little girl, run.”
“I’m not—” He lunged for me but with a choked screech, I jumped back, whirled around, and dashed away. My feet sunk into the soft sand and the cool evening breeze whipped at my hair. I threw a glance over my shoulder, finding Cassio taking off his shoes, shirt, and pants. Rolling my eyes, I dropped my bra and called, “You’ll never catch up with me, old man!”
He was surprisingly fast. Hell, he was faster than any man of his height and muscle mass had any business of being. All the damn workouts were paying off, it seemed.
Giggling, I popped open the button of my shorts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop because Cassio was hot on my heels, and so I almost stumbled in my attempt to shove off my shorts while running. Only in my panties, I sped up even more, trying to run up the dunes and away from the ocean.
“Gotcha,” Cassio growled a moment before his arms wrapped around my middle and he lifted me off the ground. He pressed a hot kiss against my neck then bit down, causing me to gasp. Despite my struggling, he carried me over to the ocean’s edge. “This will be very cold. Fortunately, I know the perfect way to get you warm again.”
“Cassio, don’t you dare!” I warned but he stepped into the waves. The cold spray hit my calves. “Cassio!”
He threw me into the water. Shock at the freezing cold of the Atlantic zapped through my body. I burst through the water surface with a gasp, drawing in a sharp breath as my body struggled to get used to the cold.
Cassio looked as if he was taking a dip in the Caribbean and not the Atlantic. He didn’t even have goose bumps!
I glared at him, but at the same time couldn’t help but grin. Maybe I had surprised him, but he surprised me too. When I’d first seen him in the foyer of my parents’ home, looking so terribly poised and in control, I’d wondered how we’d ever work. We were still different in many aspects of our personalities, but we both made small adjustments for the other. Marriage was giving and taking, and despite Cassio’s need to control everything, he, too had given to make this work.
“How about getting you warm now?” He pressed close to me, pulling me against his wonderfully warm body. His mouth claimed my throat once more.
“No sex in the ocean. I’ll freeze off important assets if we stay in the water any longer.”
Cassio laughed deeply against my skin. “What kind of assets?” His mouth traveled south then closed around my nipple.
I clutched his head, nodding. “That one for example.” I searched the row of houses lined up on the dunes. Light shone in some of them, and I wondered if they’d be able to see us if they looked out toward the ocean.
I didn’t care.
“I’ll keep your assets warm, don’t worry,” he murmured against my skin, and I decided freezing to death might be worth it.
After a quickie in the ocean, I m
anaged to convince Cassio of another round on the beach, which I regretted afterward… just like he’d predicted. A thick coating of sand covered every inch of my body, and more than one grain of sand had found its way in crevices I preferred sand-free. After a long shower, I still felt sore as we settled on the swing once more. Cassio’s I-told-you so face was additional punishment.
Someone knocked at the window. Simona pressed her nose against the glass and hammered her little fists against it. Cassio opened the door and picked her up before he settled with her on his lap beside me. Simona snuggled against him and gave me a tired smile. I ruffled her dark blond locks and curled my legs under my body. Cassio kept the swing in motion with his longer legs.
Not long after, the terrace door opened again, and Daniele stepped out onto the porch barefoot. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled toward us. I hoisted him onto the swing between us, and he rested his little head against my chest.
I’d never considered myself ready to become a mom. I’d felt like a child myself most days before Dad told me about my engagement to Cassio. It was true that you rose to the tasks presented to you if you only faced them head-on. I’d probably mess up often raising these kids. I’d have to learn with them.
Cassio leaned his head back, looking at peace and content. I wanted to be his safe haven. His work was full of blood, conflict, and death. I didn’t want that at home. He caught me staring and gave me a tired smile.
I’d take care of Simona and Daniele, I’d protect them from everything, even the truth. I swore I’d never lie to Cassio, but the truth his father told me would have to be the one exception.
Lies had a way of catching up with you eventually. I hoped this was one of the cases where they didn’t.
Nine years after the wedding
Cassio came home in the afternoon. He’d reserved a table in our favorite restaurant for our ninth anniversary, a small place that served rustic French food. Mia had agreed to watch Simona and Daniele. Though it was more of a sleepover, considering that they were nine and almost twelve. They didn’t need to be watched 24/7 anymore, even if they were up to no good more often than not.
We’d just finished a delicious liver paté with warm Brioche and two glasses of Viognier, my favorite white wine, when I gathered my courage. “Do you still not want any more children?” I meant to ask it in a calm, low voice, but instead I’d blurted it out.
Cassio lowered his glass slowly, brows pulling tight. “Are you…?”
I gave him a look then raised my almost empty wine glass. “Really? You think I’d drink two glasses of wine if I were pregnant?”
He chuckled. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Men,” I muttered, but I couldn’t help but smile. “So, what do you say?”
I was oddly nervous about this. Cassio and I talked about almost everything, except for the kind of business dealings he deemed too brutal for me—and the secret about Simona and Daniele I still carried in the deepest corner of my heart.
Cassio put his hand on mine. “Do you want another child?”
Another child. Not a child, not your own child. We’d come such a long way, and now there was absolutely no doubt that Simona and Daniele were my children too.
“I don’t feel like our family is complete yet. I want to have a baby to cuddle again.”
“They also cry, vomit, and poop, and once they don’t do that anymore, they throw the worst tantrums. You really want that?”
I grinned. “Yes.”
Cassio shook his head as if I was unreasonable, but from the gentle look in his eyes, I knew I had him. “So?”
“If you want another baby, you’ll get it.”
“But what about you? I don’t want you to give me a baby only to do me a favor.”
Cassio bent over the table. “Trust me, giving you a baby isn’t a chore for me.” I slapped his forearm lightly, and he continued in an even lower voice. “I’d love to have a baby with you.”
“We can start today,” I whispered and ran my high heel up his trouser leg, smiling suggestively. In his form-fitting suit, he looked irresistible.
One corner of his mouth rose. “Are you sure you want to miss the Canard à l’orange and the Crepe Suzette?” Hearing Cassio speak French, even if it was only to praise a duck in orange sauce and pancakes was almost too much for what little control I had left.
I pressed my heel against his crotch, causing him to form a low hiss in his throat. “Okay, food first, sex later.”
He shook his head but couldn’t say anything because the waiter was heading our way with our main course.
We spent Christmas at our beach house like we’d done the two previous years. Despite the cold, we loved to take strolls along the beach. For Cassio, it was a way to get away from the weight of his responsibilities for a couple of days. When he was home, someone always wanted something from him. That was the problem if you were Underboss. Dad had always delegated most of the work. Cassio preferred to have control.
Simona and Daniele decorated the Christmas tree while I prepared Christmas dinner for the family. Loulou hovered beside me, hoping a slice of bacon would drop to the floor. It had become tradition that Cassio’s sisters and their families, as well as his parents, came over to us to celebrate. My parents didn’t want to drive long distances in winter, so we always visited them in Baltimore after Christmas.
I had a special Christmas present for Cassio that I would give him once we were alone. A gift box filled with a cute onesie with the words “Hello, Dad,” earplugs, Advil, and rug cleaner as a joke for that one time Simona ripped away her diaper and pooed on our living room rug after eating red beet. It was a memorable moment that the rug didn’t survive. Apparently beet was harder to get out of fabric than blood.
I couldn’t wait for his reaction.
When I didn’t drink wine during dinner, Mia gave me a knowing look, and Cassio, too, seemed to catch on quickly. What worried me more was Mansueto’s eager expression. He’d kept his promise and not mentioned the paternity test again, but his silence didn’t mean it wasn’t still in his mind. His health had deteriorated rapidly in the last few months. He needed a wheelchair and had lost plenty of weight. Getting an heir, one who was related to him in blood, might be one of the last things he wanted to accomplish in his life.
Even before Giulia gave me my Christmas present, I knew she was pregnant and not only because she wasn’t drinking wine. She’d acted differently in the last couple of weeks. Subtle changes. She’d occasionally touch her breasts as if they ached. She also hadn’t felt well in the morning. I never asked because I wanted to give her time to come to terms with it.
Of course, everyone else picked up on it during dinner as well. Giulia always drank a glass of white wine with her food.
Before Father and Mother left, he took me aside. I knew what was coming. “You should consider doing a paternity test now. Your unborn child deserves it.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I whispered harshly. Daniele and Simona were saying goodbye to their cousins and too far away to hear anything.
“If it’s a boy, he might be your true heir.”
“This discussion is over.”
“I’m old. I don’t know how long I still have—”
“Which is why you shouldn’t destroy our relationship now.”
Father nodded then motioned for Mother to roll him out of the house.
Giulia watched me worriedly. I gave her a tight smile. She didn’t need to know about this.
When I opened Giulia’s box later in our bedroom, I felt a little stunned, even though I’d known what it would reveal. I was forty. After Gaia’s death, I had been sure I’d never become a father again, and now here I was.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered when I didn’t say anything for a few seconds.
I wrapped her in a gentle embrace, kissing her sweet mouth. “That was quick.” Pride rang in my voice.
Giulia rolled her eyes. “We practiced so hard over the years, your swimmers are
practically ready for Olympic gold.”
Even after all these years, Giulia’s quick wit still often caught me off guard. “Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.”
She pursed her lips. “Kiss me?”
I did, then I pulled back. “Should we tell Simona and Daniele tomorrow?”
Giulia hesitated.
“I’m sure they’ll be happy.” They had accepted Giulia as their mother. Daniele hardly ever mentioned Gaia, and Simona didn’t remember anything of her.
Worry flickered across Giulia’s face, and I realized she hadn’t been worried about our kids not accepting a baby—until my inconsiderate words. “That wasn’t why you hesitated.”
“No, I just thought we should wait a few more weeks. I don’t want something to happen.” She searched my eyes. “They will be happy, right?”
“Of course. Then they have someone else to torture.” Those two were like cats and dogs sometimes, especially now that they grew older and Daniele was trying to appear cool.
We waited six more weeks before we announced the pregnancy to them at the dining table one evening.
For a moment, both of them only watched with wide eyes. Then they began to cheer. They didn’t know what a baby meant: babysitting and diaper changing duties.
Giulia laughed in relief.
Simona jumped up from her chair and rushed over to Giulia, throwing her arms around her.
“Careful,” I said. “Your mom has a baby in her belly.”
Simona nodded wide-eyed and stared at Giulia’s still flat stomach. “Can it hear me?”
“Yes.”
She leaned down. “Please be a little sister. Boys are annoying.”
“Hey! You’re annoying.” Daniele had talked with his mouth full and a few noodles fell out when he spoke.
Simona wrinkled her nose. “You stink.”
Daniele swallowed and let out a burp. “That stinks.”
“Ewww!”
“Enough,” I said firmly. “We’re having dinner.”
