by LJ Byrne
His eyes rake over me with need, and I catch my breath – which is difficult when you’re breathing hard. “Mira, do you know how much I want you?” he murmurs.
Considering he’s on top of me… “I have an idea,” I whisper. How far do I want this to go? When I avert my gaze, he gently kisses me on the cheek before settling beside me.
“You were… saying something about Ingrid’s dad,” he finally says.
“Even I don’t know all the details of what’s going on, Ryder. What I do know is what I’ve uncovered. But there’s something weird happening. Ingrid’s father’s been moving chunks of money around.”
Ryder stills. “Are you serious? This is what you work on so secretly? This isn’t a game, Mira. Ernest Whitman is not someone to be trifled with. If he’s laundering money…” He sits up and jerks me upright. I can see the worry in his eyes.
“You’re worrying over nothing. No one knows I’m involved.”
Ryder shifts until I’m straddling him, burying his head in my neck. “Promise me you’ll be safe. I won’t lose you, Mira. I can’t. I love you too much.”
“I know.” Then shyly, “And I think… I love you.”
Ryder lifts my head, a startled sound escaping his lips as his eyes stare at me in wonder. Then slowly, he smiles.
Later that week, Liam approaches me with a list of individuals seen in the area leading to the computer lab that also accessed the lab within that hour: Principal Philippe, Brittany Khan, Daniel Jameson, Emmett Solomon, and Judy Lee. When I watch the videos, though, I note that you can’t see Judy’s or the principal’s face. I remember all too well the video of me that was faked.
“Well, we can remove Brittany as a suspect,” I say confidently, but Liam’s tight expression worries me. “What? What is it?”
“While Brittany was gone, we saw zero activity,” Liam points out. “But now that she’s back… Think about it, Mira. Also, there’s her father.”
Huffing, I point out, “No, that’s way too obvious.” I may be closer to Celeste, but I can’t see Brittany being involved in this. She loves life way too much. “Daniel Jameson would be a better suspect. He hasn’t been around since Ingrid was suspended. Why is he roaming around campus?”
“We have our eyes on him, too. Look, we believe Mr. Khan may be using his business to channel funds to several terrorist organizations.” He waits for me to absorb that.
Chewing my thumb, I think about the way the message was encrypted, and the activity we’ve seen. “No,” I say, thinking out loud. “Whoever is doing this would leave tracks to point us elsewhere. If it points to Brittany, then it is likely a false trail. We need direct evidence.”
“She knows we’re hackers, though,” Liam mutters to me. “We need to be careful, Mira. Don’t share what we’ve learned. I mean, you already know too much.” Running a hand through his blond hair, he adds, “I know too much. The plan was to filter the information you gleaned, but this is getting to be more than I expected.”
Liam’s worried. Which means I should be worried. I decide this is not something I need to share with Ryder.
100011
Brittany and Celeste decide we need a girls’ night at school. (Brittany and Enrique are an item again.) We send Ryder, Connor, and Enrique off, grab a pizza, and settle down for homework and chitchat.
After an hour, we give up the pretense and start talking. “Ryder’s totally in love with you,” Brittany declares, taking a long drink of her soda. “Are you attending the same college and all that?”
We’ve only talked about it marginally, to be honest. I haven’t decided what I want to do. On top of that, Ryder’s financial situation has changed. “I don’t know. We’re still talking about it,” I say honestly. “What about you and Enrique?”
Brittany gives me a coy look. “Hard to say. But I’m keeping my options open.” She winks at me. “And what about you, Celeste? You and Connor got serious pretty quickly, too.”
Celeste blushes. “We’re staying close, joining Ethan and Darcy at the U.”
I bring out my mom’s journal – the one with the picture of my potential dad. “I was going through my mom’s old journals, and I found something. I think the guy in this pic is my father.”
Wiping the grease off her fingers, Brittany takes the photo. She squints because the picture is tiny. “Who are the other guys?”
As Celeste leans to look at the picture, I say, “The middle guy is Ernest Whitman, Ingrid’s dad. Not sure about the other two.”
“I’ve seen that picture before but bigger,” Celeste says slowly, tapping her lips. She snaps her fingers. “I had to go to Ingrid’s house a few times with Erin and there was a picture in her father’s study. It was for an award.”
When Celeste begins searching online, I take the photo back with nervous fingers. I mentally slap myself. I should’ve shown this to them earlier!
“I found it!” Celeste triumphantly angles her phone towards me. “That must be a copy of the original photo or something.”
I scan the article, but what I’m drawn to is the caption beneath the photo used in the story.
Businessman Ernest Whitman poses with Mayor Howard Ulmstead and Korean businessman Suk-jeon Park.
“Are you okay?” Brittany asks in alarm. When she reads the article, she gasps. “Oh, my God. Is this your father?”
I have a name. Is he alive? Korean. I’m half-Korean. What if he’s in Korea? Do I ask for a DNA test to verify I’m his daughter? He could have a family! I could have half-siblings. Maybe they’re programmers like me.
A sound of dismay escapes Celeste’s lips. “Oh,” she says, her forehead wrinkling. I can see the sadness on her face.
I hold my hand out even though I know what I’m about to read. Korean businessman killed in hit-and-run. The date of the accident is roughly seven months before my birth. Numbly, I read the details. Middle of the night… declared dead on scene… police continue to investigate…
Mom left Royalton and never looked back. Was she simply escaping a lifestyle, or was she running because of my father’s death? As quickly as hope appears, it’s ripped from me brutally. I may never know.
It’s absurd to experience grief. I never knew the man. He might not even be my father. And yet… The possibilities disappear before I could explore them. I remain an orphan. I lose Mom again. Raw. My chest relives the pain of my mother’s death. I shut down and sob like my heart might break.
Warm hands encircle me. “I’m here,” Ryder murmurs in my ear. I don’t know who contacted him – probably Celeste – but I turn to him. I seek him out. I cry for my mother. I mourn for a possible father. I weep for losing the truth before I found it.
After carrying me to his room, Ryder holds me, the physical contact telling me I’m not alone. My words and thoughts come out in fragments, and I’m not sure if I make any sense. The times Ryder came to me for that basic creature comfort? I understand why he did that. I need that very thing right now. In his arms, the sadness abates. It’s still there, but I’m solid, whole. My mind and body respond to his touch, his scent, his warmth.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, his body loose and reassuring. I know he’s vulnerable like this only with me. Although his voice is gentle, there isn’t a hint of pity. I don’t think I could tolerate pity.
“It’s stupid,” I say, sniffling. “I thought I’d found another connection to my mother. I want to know why he never knew about me. Mom gave me a good life, but we were alone. Why?” I shift in Ryder’s arms. “I love hacking, programming, all of it. A well-written program is elegant. I make the rules, I find the answers. This whole thing with my mom… I don’t know if I’ll ever have answers.”
His breath is warm against my head. “If you had these answers, what would it give you other than closure? Sometimes we’re not meant to know, but whoever your father is or was – it doesn’t change who you are.”
I’m silent as I consider what Ryder’s saying. “Who am I?”
�
��Everything.”
I roll my eyes even though Ryder can’t see my reaction. “Is that the best you can do, Mr. Cabot?” My mood lightens a little.
Ryder hums thoughtfully. “You are the cousin Ethan De Vries doesn’t deserve. A person who makes a friend’s happiness a priority. A girl with frightening programming skills. Also, you think I’m the sexiest man alive.”
“And what else do I think? Enlighten me.”
“You think I have stunning good looks. You love my incredible wit. You’re obsessed with my body.”
“Ah, yes. I also appreciate your modesty and humble demeanor.” My lips twitch.
Ryder’s huff of laughter tickles my ear. “When I first saw you, I was drawn to that simple joy in you. I knew I loved you when Connor was crushing on you. You were attracted to him, but you weren’t willing to hurt Celeste for something that wasn’t deep. When people grieve, it isn’t abnormal to want some physical comfort. You could have turned to him, but you thought of Celeste – your first friend here – before yourself. You change people, Mira. You changed Ethan by making him less of a pig.”
My startled snort stops him. “Ethan’s always been nice.” I flip over to face him.
Ryder gives me a look. “Not always.” Brushing my hair back, he cups my cheek. “What I feel for you isn’t perfect. It’s borderline possessive and obsessive. If we have sex, there’s no way I’ll let you go. I won’t be able to. So, don’t take that step with me if you aren’t sure, Mira.”
I trace his lips with my fingers, and he kisses my fingertips. He’s trying to warn me because he thinks I don’t understand him, but I do. I’ll never forget his devastation when he thought I was with Liam. A relationship like this is not for everyone, but maybe it’s right for me. “When I’m ready, I want it to be you,” is all I say, and I mean every word. Some say young love doesn’t last, but this feels real and right to me.
His eyes glint as he runs a thumb over my lower lip. His voice deepens. “Feel like being distracted?”
I giggle when he maneuvers me to straddle him. “I could be persuaded,” I tease before I bend down to distract him instead.
100100
A few weeks later, Liam receives additional feedback on the weird letters in Ingrid’s emails. His teammates (or are they coworkers?) uncover words like ‘alone midnight’ and ‘bad weekend’ but haven’t a clue what they mean. Unfortunately – or is it fortunately? – Liam gives me no insight into what else has been uncovered. When I ask him about their investigation into Brittany’s family, Liam simply zips his mouth shut with an indecipherable look.
Ingrid’s suspension from school remains indefinite. Ryder believes RBA is reluctant to expel her because the Whitmans donate lavishly. Regardless, no one has seen her for a while, and rumor has it that she won’t be returning at all. Daniel withdraws from RBA altogether. There is less drama without those two, and things settle down at school.
I begin focusing on Mom and my potential father. I now have names, but what do I do with this knowledge?
Celeste and I discuss this as I grab a few items from my room that I’ll need for the weekend. Ryder and Connor are already off-campus. They’ve been secretive all week, and Celeste and I believe they plan to surprise us with details of our spring break getaway.
Since Ryder’s Maclaren is under his name, he plans to sell the car and get something far more reasonable. It’s been fun teaching Ryder money management skills. In return, he’s teaching me to drive. I know Aunt Erika is dying to buy me a car for graduation, but I haven’t decided yet if I plan to accept the gift.
My cell rings, and I stare at the unrecognizable number. I debate not answering, but curiosity gets the better of me. “Hello?”
“Miss Bell, this is Ernest Whitman.”
Whoa, that is not a name I was expecting to hear. “How can I help you?” I ask. Celeste notices my tense voice.
“I’m not calling because I’m angry about Ingrid’s situation. I’m calling because I knew your mother. And I have something of hers that I think you’ll want.”
There’s something oily about Ernest Whitman’s voice that sets me on edge. “What is it?”
“If you stop by in the next hour, I will give it to you. Otherwise, I will rescind my offer.”
“Alright, I’ll be there in less than an hour.” I motion for Celeste to remain quiet. “I may have a question or two for you.”
“I would expect nothing less from Gwen’s daughter. Goodbye, Miss Bell.”
“Could we stop by the Whitmans before we meet up with Ryder and Connor? That was Ernest Whitman, and he says he has something of Mom’s.” I stop at Celeste’s Porsche.
Celeste nods. “Of course, absolutely. But aren’t you worried about Ingrid being there? She’s a borderline psychotic bitch.”
I gnaw on my lip. “I know. But I can’t pass up this opportunity. Will you come in with me?” I plan to ask him what he knows about my potential father, and it might give me a proper starting point if decide to investigate on my own.
“As if I’d let you walk into that place by yourself!” Celeste says.
One of my favorite lines from the Star Wars franchise is “I have a bad feeling about this.” When Celeste and I are taken to some sort of waiting room or living room – how do you keep track of the rooms in your home when you have more rooms than fingers? – I get an uneasy sense of the place. Maybe it’s because Ingrid lives here even though I don’t see her anywhere. I fully expect her to appear raging at any moment.
Ernest Whitman arrives alone, but he seems surprised to see Celeste with me. A petty part of me is so tired of people assuming I have a car! How else did he expect me to get here?
“Miss Bell,” he rumbles.
I take a good look at him. He’s not ugly by any means, but he has a long, narrow face, thin lips, and squinty eyes. He may just have bad vision. He’s gray and pale.
“So, you said you had something from my mother?” I pointedly remind him why I’m here.
“You look a tiny bit like her. Your eyes are different. The hair.”
Ernest has Rambling Man syndrome. “Getting back to why I’m here?”
Ernest shakes himself. “Yes, of course.” He fishes in his pocket and pulls out a gold ring.
I take it from him and examine it closely. The gold band is etched in fine detail with two ducks. “Why would she give this to you?” I ask. I have an inkling behind the symbolism. Inside the ring, I see the words “Gwen Forever” inscribed.
“She didn’t.” Ernest steps towards a window. He pretends to stare out the window, but I have a suspicion his attention is on me. “She left a bag here and that was inside.”
I slip the ring on and find that it is loose on my ring finger. What I know is that Mom and I wore the same size in rings. I don’t think this is Mom’s ring. In Korea, ducks symbolize faithfulness and eternal love because they supposedly mate for life. This is a wedding ring.
Celeste blurts, “I’m sorry, I need to use the bathroom.”
Ernest nods. “You know where it is. You’ve been here before.”
With an apologetic smile, Celeste leaves while I stare at the ring. “When did she leave the bag?”
“The day she ran away, of course.” The expression on his face is odd. It is almost full of anticipation.
He expects me to recognize the ring! I realize he’s trying to see what I know about Mom’s departure from Royalton. But why?
“You saw her that day?” When he nods, I press the issue. “Did anything odd happen?”
Ernest is about to answer when the man who let us in enters to whisper something. “You’ll have to excuse me for a minute. Something urgent has come up. But don’t leave just yet.”
I pace until Celeste returns, her face anxious. Before I can tell her anything, she says, “I just saw Daniel Jameson.”
“Here?” No one has seen Daniel since he left school.
“Yes. Going into the library I told you about.” Celeste bites her lip. “He didn’
t see me. But why is he here?”
“Probably up to no good,” I mutter, pulling out my phone. I use a remote access tool to tie myself into the Whitmans’ network – how useful that Liam’s access is there for me to piggyback on.
Celeste lowers her voice to a whisper. “What are you doing?”
“Checking if there’s a camera I can access in the library,” I say, going from device to device off the network. (Okay, this is not what a nice person should be doing, but I’m curious why Daniel might be here.) I get lucky. There is a computer in the library. I know it’s the library because I see Daniel before me. I turn the audio on while Celeste peers over my shoulder.
“Why did you bring Mira here?” Daniel asks, moving out of view.
“I’m curious to see what she knows about her father. You do know her father was a talented programmer, don’t you?” Ernest asks off-screen. “Does she show any ability?”
There’s a pause. “Not that I know of…” His voice trails off. “But my phone and laptop got wiped. A lot of weird things have happened since Mira’s arrival.”
Celeste grips my arm as Ernest says, “How interesting. Maybe Mira’s inherited her father’s gift? If so, then she probably had a hand in why Ingrid’s been suspended. Is it possible she knows more?”
“You mean about the fuel-air combinations?” Daniel snorts loudly. “I don’t think so. We left enough clues at the school, though. We can launch the worm anytime. That’s what our contact said anyway.”
I turn to Celeste. “Oh, my God. We need to get to Liam. We need to leave.”
“Why? What’s Daniel talking about?” Celeste picks up on my panic.
That’s when I hear Daniel say, “Why is the light on your computer camera on?”
I don’t wait. Grabbing Celeste’s arm, I start heading towards the front door. But when we get there, our way is blocked by a person I don’t recognize.
“Going somewhere, Miss Bell?” Ernest asks from behind us. Daniel peers at us from behind Ernest with surprise.
