by Emily Bowie
Easing my one hand off the wheel I wipe the waterfall of tears on my face, trying to hide my sniffle of pain.
“No, you’re just not what I want any more,” I lie.
My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it. I can hear Brax breathing through the phone, but there is no exchange of words. We sit like this for a couple of minutes. Neither one of us saying a word. I don’t know how much longer I can stay on the line, yet I can’t make myself be the one to hang up. I crave him more than ever.
“So, we’re over?” he finally speaks crushing me. It’s silly to think that when in fact it’s me breaking everything off. But he doesn’t know my family as I do. They would eat us both alive. Once they were done, we would never recognize each other, while blaming each other for our failures. We would turn into my parents. That is the best scenario, not even considering the worst case.
“Yes.” My answer crackles, hating myself so much he will never understand.
“Take care Raya,” I bring my lips in to keep all of my sounds to myself. He sounds so cold and unaffected, it hurts. I deserve this.
He doesn’t even say goodbye as he disconnects us.
CHAPTER 2
All I can think about is that Kellen did it fucking again. Five years ago cops swarmed our place because my girlfriend was shot on our property. My brother sentenced for her murder. Again, police line our property another body is hauled away. Both times he pulled the trigger, both times uprooting my life like never before. And yet he gets to go upstairs to the girl of his dreams while mine leaves me.
Taking a seat on the old wooden rocker on our porch I look out onto our ranch. I can see the sun slowly trying to escape from below the horizon. It flashes colors of red and orange as it peeks over the valley. Yellow police tape overtakes our yard, tire tread marks our once isolate piece of property. The palm of my hands rubs my blue eyes with flecks of gray. The cold from my palm is welcomed, blocking out the first rays of the day. Today was a long fucking day.
I know what Raya and I had been real. I can still hear her sweet voice that makes my heart melt every time. I can feel the way her body fit perfectly into mine. We were one of those couples who never fought, it was perfection each time we saw each other.
In the back of my mind the signs that this was coming was there, but I choose to ignore them thinking we were stronger than that. Her coming up with excuses for not moving here, the failed attempts for her to visit, her keeping me a secret from her family. The last part baffles me. We’re grownups, with our own lives. At what point do you just say I am my own person the hell with what my family thinks.
Bringing out my cell phone I go to look at the last picture I took of the two of us. She is smiling so brightly as I kiss her cheek. Her mocha colored eyes staring back at me in the picture. The next picture is one that my sister Shay had sent me. It’s of Raya and I holding each other while staring into each other’s eyes. I can see the love poses in this picture. It screams it and echoes like a yodeler on top of a mountain.
Leaning back I’m speechless and angry as hell. She blindsided me. I have her ring in my top drawer, waiting for her to make it down here. I was building us a home and future. I saw us in a small white church, coming home to a white picket yard, living out my fantasy. Because that is all it was. I was living a dream, and she wasn’t in it like I was.
Picking up my phone again I start deleting everything thing about her. Each and every picture. If she wants to erase herself from my life, I have no problem doing the same.
I feel suckered for listening to her lies. I’m a fool for thinking we were something more. I hate her for destroying my future I was working so hard to create. My emotions swirl like a tornado, as each memory begins to be sucked up, creating a black haze around them all. I need them out of my life because it hurts too much.
Getting up, I walk into my kitchen needing some coffee with a punch to it. This is how I plan to forget her. Going up to the cabinet I take out the hard liquor reserved for guests and pour it into my coffee.
CHAPTER 3
Our large metal gate opens at the sight of my car. I have no doubt my father is watching me pull in as I do. Letting out a sigh, I’m all out of tears. I shed all I had on the way home. I can see my mother standing outside our door her arms crossed. Even with her scowl, she is breathtaking and forever put together. The same golden locks as mine are freshly blown out, her outfit carefully picked. I feel myself cast a perplexed look at her unaged face. She looks furious that she might have to act like a mother. Mothering was never her forte. She excelled in planning social dinners, sweet talking the guests so that they were putty in my dads’ hands.
I tug at my old ratty sweater, the one that still has Brax’s lingering scent before I push my loose pieces of hair up. Stepping out of my car door I avoid her eyes, to hear her scolding voice, “I have no idea why you would want to drive that car when we have at least five respectable ones in the garage.”
I had to fight tooth and nail to get this car when I went to college wanting not to stand out. It is a piece of my freedom, my independence that I refuse to let go of. It was the one time in my life I felt like me.
“You’re not the one driving it. I don’t see why it should bother you.” I retort, void of emotion as I’m too tired to show any anger or annoyance. I allow for my shoulders to slump, knowing it must be killing my mother not to mention my unperfect posture.
“It casts a bad light on the family. People think we can’t afford to give you the finer things.”
“Oh mother, I doubt that. You show them your castle and the ten cars that sit collecting dust at each of your parties.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her step back acting as if I just slapped her.
“It’s that boy.” She waves her tiny finger at me.
“I think you mean man.” I honestly try not to engage with my mother, but she keeps digging her way under my skin so that it crawls so much I need to itch her out.
I take a deep breath, feeling out of sorts. I’ve spent most of my life trying to live up to the expectations my parents have created for me. To realize I will never make the cut. I have too much ambition combined with a tendency to lead rather than follow.
Her words hush for what reason, I have no idea. Nothing in this house is a secret. There are spies and camera everywhere. “I think it’s time you grew up a bit Raya. You could go live out your life happy if you took a nice husband.” Nice husband means one of my dad’s associates. Someone who will further him in his quest for more power.
“You want a stable, you can have one.” She sounds exacerbated, unable to view the world like me. This is where she is wrong. It’s not the stable or ranch or the damn animals I want. It was always Brax. I want him. Unlike my mother, I don’t care about the materialistic things in life.
Her words soften as she takes a step toward me, “Think about it honey,” her perfectly manicured hands go to my shoulders giving me a gentle squeeze. “Your dad waiting to see you.”
So that’s the catch, why she started to sound as motherly as she will ever be. Sweeten me up for dad so that I’m easier to move around as his pawn. I should have seen that coming faster.
Nodding my head, I enter our grand entrance. A crystal chandelier hangs high in the ceiling, casting small rainbows on the white marble floors. The house is large and lifeless, but beautiful. Priceless art pieces hang on the wall as conversational pieces and to gloat that my family has had them in their hands for centuries.
I take my time walking up each stair as it spirals upward toward my father’s office. Each step gives a grander view of the front of our house, another show stopper view.
My father’s right-hand man walks out as I place my hand up to knock, opening the room to me. I refuse to look at him and hold my head up high, ready to face the patriarch of the family.
Walking into the large room it has a faint smell of cigars. Pictures of my dad with all prominent political people line the walls, showcasing as his
blackmail trophies to gloat over. His desk is an impressive mahogany.
I stand there, refusing to take the large chair that his eyes travel to as a verbal cue. Watching me with an amused expression, he leans back into his large black leather chair behind his massive wooden desk. His one finger strums up and down like he can put his finger on what to do about me.
“It’s a little early to be arriving home isn’t it?” his tone carries agitation within it, his bushy salt and peppered eyebrow rise up in question.
“I was only doing what was best for the family.” My own words stab my gut as I say them out loud.
My father’s beady eyes watch me, looking for any lie. No words are exchanged as he studies me until he feels he has learned enough. When he has assessed me long enough he finally speaks, “Get some sleep, we have plans to discuss when you wake up.” And like that, I’m dismissed from his presence. He looks back down at his desk retrieving his work, losing interest in me altogether.
I don’t bother to look at my mother on my walk to my wing. Opening my door I shut it and fall face first into my bed. The light from my open windows brightens the room making me wish I had put blackout blinds in as my father suggested.
“You just couldn’t wait.” The deep voice startles me causing me to gasp as I turn my head around, but refuse to sit up. “I told you next week I could cover for you so you could go.”
Turning over, I look up at my lifelong best friend, also dog watcher of me as I have nicknamed Nate. He stands in the corner of my room wearing all black, the gun on his belt snug on his hips.
“I couldn’t afford to wait any longer.” I flatly say.
He stands there that tick on the corner of his lip twitching wanting to be angry at me. Over the last year or so when I have gone out of town to see Brax, Nate would make the trip to see his secret boyfriend. He covered for the both of us, the two of us keeping each other secrets. It has fit well in our lives. We become friends through necessity, but over the years our friendship grew in strength. Behind closed doors, we are best friends, but to the outside world, he is my bodyguard.
To my dad, Nate is a ruthless man who will do anything he says. He would kill for him, and die to save me. Behind closed doors we share our secrets, making sure no one in my household will uncover any of the truths we need to bury, in order to keep our lives with the freedoms we became acquired to while I was away in college.
“Why couldn’t you wait?” A sympathetic look passes through him as he tries to understand my logic to take such a huge risk. “Now I have to watch you like a hawk and report everything.”
What twenty four year old has a babysitter, I consider to myself.
“I prefer the term bodyguard.” He answers, making me think I may have said that out loud.
“I’m pregnant.” I blurt out saying these words aloud for the first time. I can see a splash of compassion pass across Nate understanding the reason why I took the risk.
“No,” He drawls out the word with pure horror splatter the emotion on Nate’s face making me hide my face with my forearm. “How am I to cover that up?” he asks me in all seriousness.
Groaning, I close my eyes not knowing how I am going to get myself out of this mess.
“You realize this will make your father want to sell you off to the highest bidder faster.” I can hear him pace my floor as he talks about my betrothal. Having children was never about the joy in them to my parents it was always how could they benefit them. My wedding to the right person would be leverage my father has been talking about since I was sixteen as he waited for the right person with the right credentials.
“Why can’t I marry you?” I half joke. Obviously, we both are in love with other people but it would make our lives easier.
He laughs in disbelief, “If only I were good enough for you.”
My eyes close out of necessity and when I wake up next the sun is no longer up.
AUTHOR NOTE
Dear reader,
Thank you for reading Moonlight Moments. I hope you enjoyed Kellen and Sloan’s story as much as the previous Steele Family book, Stolen Moments. (Did you know this series is a spin-off from my Bennett Brothers Series? Both series take place in the same small town of Three Rivers.)
Moonlight Moments was the easiest book I have written. My ideas flowed really well, allowing me to write the book in just over two months. In general, this series as a whole seems to be like this for ease of writing.
The Steele Family series is going to be a four book series, with each book reading as a standalone.
Bittersweet Moments is the next book following Brax and Raya. Then the final book is about the oldest brother Rhett Steele who chooses a life a glam instead of staying close to home like his other siblings.
For keeping up to date on future stories like my facebook page:
facebook.com/authoremilybowie
Thank you so much for all of your love and support, as readers, have shown me.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Sara and Jerilyn: Thank you for your continued support. You both are more than beta readers, you are my friends. You always have my back, and are my number one fans.
To my editor Kayla: I look forward to our newfound friendship. I love your witty comments, and ideas as you went through my book. I look forward to working with you for many more books to come.
To Give Me Books: Thank you for helping with the promotion of this book.
To Jersey Girl Design: Thank you for yet another beautiful cover. You took what minimal direction I gave and created something more beautiful than I could have dreamed of.
To Melissa: my longtime friend, who goes way back. Thank you for taking the time to proofread Moonlight Moments. Your support and believing in me is appreciated.
Thank you to my husband: Whenever I start to doubt myself you always bring me back up. You put things into perspective in ways I never thought of. Thank you for your unwavering support in this. It truly means the world to me.
FOLLOW EMILY
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Emily Bowie is from a small town in Western Canada. She has been making characters come to life through her writing since she was old enough to put her thoughts on paper. She loves her white wine cold, her heels red, and her books spicy.
She married her high school sweetheart and they have two amazing children.
When she is not writing she can be found reading a good book, making digital scrapbooks and being physically active—whether it is at the gym, going for a walk, or playing /keep up with her children.
OTHER BOOKS BY EMILY BOWIE
Bennett Brothers Series
Recklessly Mine (book #1)
Recklessly Forbidden (book #2)
Recklessly Devoted (book #3)
Steele Family Series
Stolen Moments (book #1, Shay Steele’s story)
Moonlight Moments (book #2, Kellen Steele’s story)
Bittersweet Moments (book #3, Brax Steele’s story) coming this fall
Whisky Moments (book #4, Rhett Steele’s story) coming early 2020
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