by Daniel Defoe
of the contents, the box being full of linen, andthe hamper full of glass ware. I read the letter, and took care to seethe name, and the marks, the name of the person that sent the goods,the name of the person that they were sent to; then I bade themessenger come in the morning, for that the warehouse-keeper would notbe there any more that night.
Away went I, and getting materials in a public house, I wrote a letterfrom Mr. John Richardson of Newcastle to his dear cousin Jemmy Cole, inLondon, with an account that he sent by such a vessel (for I rememberedall the particulars to a title), so many pieces of huckaback linen, somany ells of Dutch holland and the like, in a box, and a hamper offlint glasses from Mr. Henzill's glasshouse; and that the box wasmarked I. C. No. 1, and the hamper was directed by a label on thecording.
About an hour after, I came to the warehouse, found thewarehouse-keeper, and had the goods delivered me without any scruple;the value of the linen being about #22.
I could fill up this whole discourse with the variety of suchadventures, which daily invention directed to, and which I managed withthe utmost dexterity, and always with success.
At length--as when does the pitcher come safe home that goes so veryoften to the well?--I fell into some small broils, which though theycould not affect me fatally, yet made me known, which was the worstthing next to being found guilty that could befall me.
I had taken up the disguise of a widow's dress; it was without any realdesign in view, but only waiting for anything that might offer, as Ioften did. It happened that while I was going along the street inCovent Garden, there was a great cry of 'Stop thief! Stop thief!' someartists had, it seems, put a trick upon a shopkeeper, and beingpursued, some of them fled one way, and some another; and one of themwas, they said, dressed up in widow's weeds, upon which the mobgathered about me, and some said I was the person, others said no.Immediately came the mercer's journeyman, and he swore aloud I was theperson, and so seized on me. However, when I was brought back by themob to the mercer's shop, the master of the house said freely that Iwas not the woman that was in his shop, and would have let me goimmediately; but another fellow said gravely, 'Pray stay till Mr. ----'(meaning the journeyman) 'comes back, for he knows her.' So they keptme by force near half an hour. They had called a constable, and hestood in the shop as my jailer; and in talking with the constable Iinquired where he lived, and what trade he was; the man notapprehending in the least what happened afterwards, readily told me hisname, and trade, and where he lived; and told me as a jest, that Imight be sure to hear of his name when I came to the Old Bailey.
Some of the servants likewise used me saucily, and had much ado to keeptheir hands off me; the master indeed was civiller to me than they, buthe would not yet let me go, though he owned he could not say I was inhis shop before.
I began to be a little surly with him, and told him I hoped he wouldnot take it ill if I made myself amends upon him in a more legal wayanother time; and desired I might send for friends to see me have rightdone me. No, he said, he could give no such liberty; I might ask itwhen I came before the justice of peace; and seeing I threatened him,he would take care of me in the meantime, and would lodge me safe inNewgate. I told him it was his time now, but it would be mine by andby, and governed my passion as well as I was able. However, I spoke tothe constable to call me a porter, which he did, and then I called forpen, ink, and paper, but they would let me have none. I asked theporter his name, and where he lived, and the poor man told it me verywillingly. I bade him observe and remember how I was treated there;that he saw I was detained there by force. I told him I should wanthis evidence in another place, and it should not be the worse for himto speak. The porter said he would serve me with all his heart. 'But,madam,' says he, 'let me hear them refuse to let you go, then I may beable to speak the plainer.'
With that I spoke aloud to the master of the shop, and said, 'Sir, youknow in your own conscience that I am not the person you look for, andthat I was not in your shop before, therefore I demand that you detainme here no longer, or tell me the reason of your stopping me.' Thefellow grew surlier upon this than before, and said he would do neithertill he thought fit. 'Very well,' said I to the constable and to theporter; 'you will be pleased to remember this, gentlemen, anothertime.' The porter said, 'Yes, madam'; and the constable began not tolike it, and would have persuaded the mercer to dismiss him, and let mego, since, as he said, he owned I was not the person. 'Good, sir,'says the mercer to him tauntingly, 'are you a justice of peace or aconstable? I charged you with her; pray do you do your duty.' Theconstable told him, a little moved, but very handsomely, 'I know myduty, and what I am, sir; I doubt you hardly know what you are doing.'They had some other hard words, and in the meantime the journeyman,impudent and unmanly to the last degree, used me barbarously, and oneof them, the same that first seized upon me, pretended he would searchme, and began to lay hands on me. I spit in his face, called out tothe constable, and bade him to take notice of my usage. 'And pray, Mr.Constable,' said I, 'ask that villain's name,' pointing to the man.The constable reproved him decently, told him that he did not know whathe did, for he knew that his master acknowledged I was not the personthat was in his shop; 'and,' says the constable, 'I am afraid yourmaster is bringing himself, and me too, into trouble, if thisgentlewoman comes to prove who she is, and where she was, and itappears that she is not the woman you pretend to.' 'Damn her,' saysthe fellow again, with a impudent, hardened face, 'she is the lady, youmay depend upon it; I'll swear she is the same body that was in theshop, and that I gave the pieces of satin that is lost into her ownhand. You shall hear more of it when Mr. William and Mr. Anthony(those were other journeymen) come back; they will know her again aswell as I.'
Just as the insolent rogue was talking thus to the constable, comesback Mr. William and Mr. Anthony, as he called them, and a great rabblewith them, bringing along with them the true widow that I was pretendedto be; and they came sweating and blowing into the shop, and with agreat deal of triumph, dragging the poor creature in the most butcherlymanner up towards their master, who was in the back shop, and cried outaloud, 'Here's the widow, sir; we have catched her at last.' 'What doye mean by that?' says the master. 'Why, we have her already; thereshe sits,' says he, 'and Mr. ----,' says he, 'can swear this is she.'The other man, whom they called Mr. Anthony, replied, 'Mr. ---- may saywhat he will, and swear what he will, but this is the woman, andthere's the remnant of satin she stole; I took it out of her clotheswith my own hand.'
I sat still now, and began to take a better heart, but smiled and saidnothing; the master looked pale; the constable turned about and lookedat me. 'Let 'em alone, Mr. Constable,' said I; 'let 'em go on.' Thecase was plain and could not be denied, so the constable was chargedwith the right thief, and the mercer told me very civilly he was sorryfor the mistake, and hoped I would not take it ill; that they had somany things of this nature put upon them every day, that they could notbe blamed for being very sharp in doing themselves justice. 'Not takeit ill, sir!' said I; 'how can I take it well! If you had dismissed mewhen your insolent fellow seized on me it the street, and brought me toyou, and when you yourself acknowledged I was not the person, I wouldhave put it by, and not taken it ill, because of the many ill things Ibelieve you have put upon you daily; but your treatment of me since hasbeen insufferable, and especially that of your servant; I must and willhave reparation for that.'
Then he began to parley with me, said he would make me any reasonablesatisfaction, and would fain have had me tell him what it was Iexpected. I told him that I should not be my own judge, the law shoulddecide it for me; and as I was to be carried before a magistrate, Ishould let him hear there what I had to say. He told me there was nooccasion to go before the justice now, I was at liberty to go where Ipleased; and so, calling to the constable, told him he might let me go,for I was discharged. The constable said calmly to him, 'sir, youasked me just now if I knew whether I was a constable or justice, andbade me do my duty, and charged me with this gentlewoman as a
prisoner.Now, sir, I find you do not understand what is my duty, for you wouldmake me a justice indeed; but I must tell you it is not in my power. Imay keep a prisoner when I am charged with him, but 'tis the law andthe magistrate alone that can discharge that prisoner; therefore 'tis amistake, sir; I must carry her before a justice now, whether you thinkwell of it or not.' The mercer was very high with the constable atfirst; but the constable happening to be not a hired officer, but agood, substantial kind of man (I think he was a corn-handler), and aman of good sense, stood to his business, would not discharge mewithout going to a justice of the peace; and I insisted upon it too.When the mercer saw
