by A. R. Breck
"Here you go." My mom comes up behind me, giving me the baby pink corsage we picked up earlier today.
I take it from her, smiling gratefully as I loosen the pin. Roman steps up to me, getting right in my space. I can feel his breath on my face as I pin the flower to his coat, barely able to look him in the eye. I can feel him looking at me, his eyes on the crown of my head. He wants me to look at him. I’m afraid with one look, I’ll collapse.
Once I'm finished, I don't step back. I stand there, inhaling his lightly scented cologne, the manly scent combined with his usual outdoorsy smell.
He smells like Roman.
My knees grow weak once I realize I won't be able to smell it for an entire year. Roman notices this, wrapping his hands around my arms to steady me. "Hey, look at me."
My eyes raise, my mascara-covered eyelashes growing wet from tears. I can feel the thickness of my wet lashes brushing my cheeks with each blink.
"We're going to get through tonight, and we're going to have a smile on our faces while we do it. Tomorrow we can be sad, but I'm not going to let you be sad during prom, okay? Not tonight."
"But—"
"No buts. Okay, Luna?'
I nod.
"Good, now…" He steps away from me, turning around and bending down to get a small box off the ground. I see a small flower inside, realizing it's my corsage. A beautiful bunch of pale petals, elegant and perfect. Not too big, nor too small. I hold out my wrist, and he slides it on gently. He holds my wrist afterward, trailing his fingers along my palm. My breath stops, the pads of his fingers gentle and firm at the same time. Then he lets go of my hand, and it falls to my side.
"Ready?"
No, I'm not ready. Not at all.
"Ready."
The dance is torturous. Long and chaotic. People with smiling faces, slightly red-rimmed eyes from the secret alcohol they’ve snuck in, skin glistening from the stuffy auditorium. Everything is perfect… for them.
Roman and I haven’t done anything besides dance. No refreshments, no visiting with our classmates. Straight out of the limo, he brought me to the middle of the dance floor. Wrapping his arms around me tightly, his palms feeling every curve of my sides and waist, pulling me until not an inch of air separated us. This is how we’ve been, where we’ve been, for hours now.
Roman's arms wrap around me, holding me close to his body as Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper plays through the speakers. My cheek rests against Roman's chest, and his hands rub against my naked shoulders. His skin grazes mine gently, a caress full of love that only Roman provides. "I love you, Luna."
I don't say anything, nuzzling closer to him. I just want to stay like this forever. Stay wrapped in his arms and never leave. But I have to.
I never want this night to end.
"Are you ready to go to the hotel?" he asks, not stopping his dancing. "We should go," he adds after I don’t answer him.
I nod my head against his chest, knowing that once we leave here, I'll be one step closer to Roman leaving me. I take a large, shaky breath and separate from him. "Okay."
He pulls back, his fingers wrapped around my arms as he gives me a sad smile. With a breath that’s just as unsure as I’m feeling, he pulls me along while he says goodbye to everyone important. He tells his friends to meet tomorrow morning at his house so they can load up their new van to take off.
Nora sees me and walks up to me, a sympathetic look on her face. She knows me. She knows how every step has been difficult, nearly impossible with the amount of pain I’m feeling. My heart is leaving me, and she can see it in my gray eyes. Wrapping her small arms around me, she whispers, "It'll be okay. I'll sit with you in your room and cry all day tomorrow if you want, okay? Just have a good night tonight."
I nod, giving her a squeeze before releasing her and walking back up to Roman. He waits for me by the entrance, outstretching his hand to lace his fingers through mine. He pulls me along, and we hop into the limo, driving silently the twenty minutes it takes to get to the hotel outside of town.
It smells like leather in here, the limo so large, easily fitting twelve people, possibly more. There are lights throughout, like we should be throwing a party. Instead, we’re quiet, not saying a word as Roman’s side leans up against mine, his arm tossed over my shoulder while he holds me tightly. We look out opposite windows, not sure what to say, not wanting another minute to pass, wishing we could freeze time.
Once the limo pulls up to the front door, Roman passes the driver a few dollars and hops out, grabbing the small bags he must have shoved in there earlier. I don't remember packing a bag. I wonder if my mom or Nora packed it for me.
But who knows, I could have packed it myself. I've been so out of it lately, it's not totally out of the question.
I stand silently beside Roman as he checks in, grabbing two keys from the front desk before bringing me to the elevator. The hotel is nice, soft muted tones and a cream-colored carpet. It smells like cleaner in here, and I realize this is one of the nicer hotels Roman must have gotten for us. Soft music plays from the ceiling as we wander through the lobby, our feet silent as we walk. A grand piano sits in the corner of the room, and I imagine Roman playing it, a soft tune breaking across the room with me sitting on top of the shiny wood, my legs crossed over one another as tears leak down my cheeks.
We hop inside the elevator and Roman stands behind me, snaking a hand around my waist as he presses a kiss to my naked shoulder. "You doing okay?"
I nod, faking a smile for him. "I'm okay."
"No, you're not." He knows me too well. "But it's okay. I'm not okay either."
The music is louder in the elevator, drowning out my lonesome thoughts. I tap my toes to the upbeat music until the elevator dings, snapping me out of my trance. As the doors roll open, Roman grabs my hand, pulling me along the patterned yellow and red carpeted hallway until he finds our room.
He slides the key card in the door, and when it clicks, the red dot turning to green, he presses down on the handle to open it. I walk in ahead of him, glancing around the nicely-sized room. The bathroom is directly to the left, and what looks to be a coat closet on the right. The same patterned carpet extends into our small suite. There's only a double bed which sits in the middle of the room, with a grayish poufy-looking comforter and two white pillows at the head of the bed. Two small nightstands sit on each side with lamps on them. In front of the bed is a small table with a Bible in the center. There's also a TV stand with a small boxy TV sitting on top.
It smells like clean linens and air freshener in here.
"This is it." Roman sets our bags at the foot of the bed, loosening his tie and taking his coat off before he tosses it onto the foot of the bed. He looks up at me as he untucks his crisp white shirt and lifts his hand to his wrist, unbuttoning the sleeves. "What do you want to do? Want to watch TV? You tired? Hungry?"
I fold my arms across my chest. "I could kind of use a bath. Or a shower. I'm kind of cold and want to wash the school off me."
He chuckles at that, nodding his head. It was stuffy in there, crammed with a bunch of sweaty teenagers. "Want to take a bath? I can see if there's bubbles or something."
I nod, but he's already halfway to the bathroom. I listen as he tears open the shower curtain, and it squeaks against the bronzed metal pole. "Found some!" He shouts from the other room.
I toe off my heels and pad toward the bathroom. My feet ache, and glancing down, I see red marks where the tops of my heels pressed into my skin.
As I walk into the white bathroom, the white tiles on the floor are cool against the soles of my feet. It’s simple, with a white porcelain tub and sink. The lights are warm, turning the color of the room a light yellow. Tiny soaps and toothpastes sit next to the sink, with folded up towels shaped into triangles on top of the toilet. Roman is bent over on his knees, his fingers underneath the spout as hot water pours into the tub. He grabs the miniature white bottle, tipping it over and pouring in half the container. I want to open my mouth
to tell him that's too much, but I can't muster up the energy to tell him so.
He tests the water once more, knowing I like it slightly hotter than boiling. "I think it's good. Want to test it?"
I shake my head. "You know how I like it."
He stands up straight, wiping his hands on his slacks as he walks up to me. "I do know how you like it." He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "I love you, Luna. Everything will be okay."
I nod, turning around to give him my back. "Can you help me out of this?"
His fingers trail along the edge of my dress, tickling my skin as he grazes along my shoulder blades. He stops at the zipper, and I can hear the metal clink. He gives a tug until my dress loosens, and pulls slowly, releasing inch by inch of my skin until he reaches my waist.
And lets go.
My dress pools around me, and I step out of the pink fabric flooded at my feet.
I'm braless, which is typical for me. I don't wear one with my leotard, so it didn't bother me to not wear one tonight. I have on a pair of black panties, a little sexy, but nothing overboard.
Roman likes it, though.
"Jesus," he groans from behind me. His hands go to my waist, circling around before going back to my backside. His hands squeeze, rubbing against my ass before hooking his fingers underneath the waistband of my panties, pulling them until they slide down my thighs. He leans in close, and I can feel his warm breath against my skin. I shudder, my skin prickling with goosebumps.
His fingers hook around my ankles, giving them a squeeze before his hands trail up the outside of my legs, moving up my thighs. He goes around my waist, up my sides and to my breasts until he reaches my neck. He tilts my head back, and I give him a soft kiss, closing my eyes as emotion catches in my chest. "Will you come in with me?" I whisper against his lips.
He separates from me, his eyebrows lifted as he looks down at me. "You want me to come in with you?" He gives a quick peek at the tub before glancing into my eyes. "It looks a little small."
I shrug. "I don't care. Please?"
He takes his clothes off without another word and steps into the tub. His form is lean, strong, tanned. Perfect. His muscles flex and bend with his movements.
He outstretches his hand, and I place my small one in his large one. His fingers curl around mine as he helps me in, the water perfect, the bubbles about to boil over the side. He settles down, helping me in so I'm sitting against him with my back against his front.
He gets some bubbles in his hand, spreading them across my arms, up my shoulders and neck, and down to my fingers. He pays attention to each one, spreading bubbles between my fingers, to my palm, to my fingernails.
"Tell me about your plans," I whisper.
He sighs, my body floating up and down against his heavy breath. "I don't really want to talk about it right now, Luna."
I turn my head toward his, the back of my hair getting wet against his chest. His eyes are sad, a small frown playing at his lips.
"I want to know what your plan is. Please," I beg.
He sighs again, bringing some water up to my hair, washing the loose curls from my head. His fingers are gentle as they comb through the strands from root to end. "We got a place in Los Angeles, close to the record label. We'll be going there a lot at first to record, practice and shit."
"What about your tour? Where are you going?"
He pops open a bottle of shampoo, squirting some in his palm before massaging it into my scalp. My head tilts back, my eyes closing as the scent of lavender fills the room. "We'll start in California, then head to Los Angeles, San Diego, Sacramento, San Francisco. Eventually, we'll head up to Seattle, then over to Las Vegas, Miami, Atlanta, Chicago, New York. Our manager says he wants us to eventually go abroad, but first we need to get through the US tour."
"Wow. You'll travel the whole country then." A part of me is jealous that he's going to experience this without me. Something I've always wanted him to do, but with me standing by his side. The fact that he'll be hopping state to state when I'll still be stuck in high school leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
"And between tours, when I can, I plan to come to Shallow Lake, Wisconsin, so I can visit my beautiful girlfriend."
I shake my head, not sure of the words that are about to come out of my mouth. They just do, spilling across the bubbles and throughout this small bathroom. "Are you sure you want to even date me still? Will we even be together? What if you meet some girl on the road or something? You'll be this big rock star. You aren't going to want to be tied down to some little kid who's still in high school."
He's silent for a moment, his hands still in my hair. He doesn’t say a word. Then his hands drop into the water, a light splash heard as he grabs my waist, turning me around so I'm facing him. My legs wrap around his waist as he holds onto mine. A fierce scowl sits on his lips, condensation dampening his face as he looks at me with anger. The tips of his hair are damp, brushing against his forehead. "Why would you say that, Luna? You know how I feel. It's you and me. Forever. My heart beats because you are alive. That's all. I don't care about anything, anyone else in the entire world. Now and always, remember?"
"I remember," I whisper, my voice echoing throughout the room.
"This right here," he presses his hand to my naked breast, right over my heart, "your heart beats for me. The love I feel for you runs through my veins. I know you feel the same. I see the flutter of your heart in your neck and know that the reason your heart beats is for me. We're one in the same, Luna. One doesn't exist without the other. I'll seize to even be alive in a world without you in it. Why would you think I'd want to experience someone, anyone else in this world? You'll be far away, but you're engraved in my heart. I don't care about miles, Luna, not when you've already imprinted on my entire being.”
I lean forward, slamming my lips around his. I listen as the water splashes between us, flooding over the side of the tub and slapping onto the floor. Roman grabs me around the waist, pulling me closer until I'm straddling him, his hard-on directly under my butt. I grind against him, the water splashing against us with our movements.
My moans echo through the bathroom, banging against the walls and floating through the air.
"I love you," I moan.
"I love you, too." He brings his hand up to my sudsy breast, smearing the bubbles around and giving my nipple a tug. I groan, arching my chest into his hand.
I need more. So much more.
I move my hips against him, feeling him harden into a rock beneath me. My fingers go beneath the water, my nails scraping against his abs that are flexing with coiled tension. The room grows steamy, cloudy with the hot water and our heavy pants.
I grab his cock beneath the water and line him up when he stops me. "Wait. I need a condom." I slide off his waist as he leans over the tub, water splashing and dripping all over the cream rug. He grabs his pants, digging into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He flops it opens, pulling a condom from the inside pocket.
With quick movements, he dips his hand beneath the water to slide the condom on, then gives me a heated look, pulling me back on top of him.
I line him up, giving his base a squeeze before sinking down on top of him. There's a pinch of pain, but it's less so than last time. There's a lick of pleasure in there too, and it makes a shiver break out along my spine.
I wrap my arms around him as I lift up, sinking back down slowly. I try to make a rhythm, each motion making water splash over the side of the tub. It's difficult, though, because the combination of pleasure and pain makes my legs so shaky it's hard to move.
Roman pushes on my chest and I lean back, my body floating on top of the water while we're still connected at the waist. My hair floats around me in a black sheet, my breasts glistening with soap and water between my breasts. Roman grabs onto my hips, holding me tightly while he thrusts into me from below. I bring my hands up over my head, pressing them against the end of the tub so I don't knock my head against it. He rocks us,
slowly but forcefully. Each motion climbing me higher. A slow burn starts in the pit of my belly, a tingling sensation that I'm becoming familiar with when I’m with Roman. I want to squeeze my thighs closed from the sensation, but our position makes that impossible.
I can feel Roman hardening further inside of me, his cock rock solid as he slides against my tight walls. I tense, and he lets out a grunt as he starts to speed up. It doesn't take long, our rocking becoming manic, our moans simultaneous as we chase our release.
We come together.
Our moans shake the walls, and I'm sure our neighbors can hear us as I scream Roman's name. My walls flutter against him, and I can feel as he twitches and tenses, the hardness of his cock pulsing against me.
He lets go of my hips, and I continue to float, staring at the ceiling as my body begins to cool. It's hot in here, foggy, and I have a thin sheen of sweat covering my skin. My mind became as cloudy as the room, our heat and love dulling my brain. But moments pass and clarity comes, and my bones start to chill, just like my heart.
I close my eyes, listening to our breaths settle and our heartbeats slow. My ears are under the water, and I listen as Roman pulls the plug on the drain. The pipes groan as they swallow the water. Soon, Roman's arms are around me. He lifts me from the tub, and I open my eyes, watching his wet hair drip onto my chest as he carries me out of the bathroom.
He brings me into the bedroom, pulling back the comforter and sliding my wet body between the sheets. He follows me under, covering my body with his hot one and brushing my wet hair from my face. It hits the pillow in a quiet slap. "You're so beautiful," he whispers.
His other hand has a condom in it, and I'm surprised he wants to go again so soon, but I don't complain. He tears open the condom and slides it on, and this time when he enters me, he stares right into my eyes. He moves slow, keeping only inches away from me as he rocks against me. My legs go up, wrapping around his waist as I curl my arms around his stomach. My fingers trail along his skin as he moves against me, our wet bodies warming beneath the sheets.
