She paints lines on my cheeks slowly and carefully, and I ask, “Why does Arvid hate me so much?”
She is quiet as she finishes with the strokes on either side of my face, and I then ask, “Is it just because I am English or Christian?”
She sighs through her nose, drawing away from me slowly, and she replies, “Arvid has never liked the English. There is a lot of bad blood between him and the Saxons, like many of the people here... Most have accepted you as one of us, but some like my stubborn husband have not... especially with our son so interested in you. He doesn’t accept or agree with Frey marrying you or wanting to.”
“So, it is because I am English,” I mutter to myself. I then ask, “Is there anything I can do to prove my worth to him?”
What am I saying...Why do I want him to accept me? He’s just some stupid old man in charge of this equally stupid village. Just some old man, a man I hate...
Even Noma seems a little taken aback, and she then asks, “You want to be accepted by him?” She grins after a while and says, “Have you and Frey been getting closer by chance?”
I feel myself blush, and she resumes painting my face, this time painting my lips. “No, we haven’t. I was just wondering if there is anything I can do to get Arvid to accept me. At least a little.”
“I see. So that stench on your clothes isn’t my son, then?” she asks.
I am quiet as I have forgotten about their keen senses of smell.
I go to open my mouth to explain myself, but she cuts me off and says chuckling, “You don’t have to explain yourself, but I think I know a way of getting my husband to accept you. However, you aren’t going to like it.”
I get nervous as her tone is serious, and I then ask her, “What is it then?”
“Denounce your god and accept ours during the ceremony tonight,” she states, putting the bowl down and dropping the brush back into the bowl.
“Denounce my God?” I ask her, unsure.
“Yes,” she replies. “That is the only way I can see Arvid ever accepting you.”
I get silent, and I stare up at her after fully thinking about it. I would never be fully accepted in this community if I didn’t do such a thing. And I would never be the true shield maiden I sought to be even though I had the armband I wore so proudly every day.
“Then I want to do it,” I say with no hesitation in my voice.
She gives me an understanding look before nodding her head. “Midnight, we will meet at this location then.”
I stand up, also nodding my head. Tonight will be the final night I will ever be a true Christian again, but I think I lost that privilege a long time ago. I look up to the skies; hopefully, I am making the right choice.
The fire grows higher and higher, and with time, more people walk towards the center of the village, once midnight comes.
The singing grows louder, along with the beat of the drums, and the voices of the villagers as everything becomes much livelier. I remain in the crowd, my eyes searching for faces I know, and I see a few.
I see Leif who is behind Runa, leaning on her as his arms are wrapped around her middle. Not too far away from them is Adisa who I haven’t seen all night until now. He doesn’t have face paint on like the rest, and he seems to be leering in jealousy, his eyes focused on Runa and Leif.
It seems my instincts are right about Adisa. His eyes are burning the back of Leif’s skull. I’m sure Leif has smelled his scent by now, and that’s why he is showing his affections to Runa so blatantly.
Normally, Leif would be embarrassed about this sort of thing since he would go as far as to deny his feelings for Runa. Just like when I was a child, I would tease him and ask about her a lot, and he would never admit to me that they were in a relationship.
He just says they are good friends but now, looking at them, you can tell they aren’t just “good friends” but lovers.
How long have they been lovers? Runa really loved Leif and Leif really loved her...
Would they be marrying soon? But Noma despised Runa...so would Noma still give her blessings?
It was bound to happen eventually, and that day would be most unpleasant.
As my eyes scan the area more, moving on from the three, I see Frey towards the back of the crowd and immediately I look towards the front, my muscles tensing when our eyes locked just for a couple of seconds.
‘Where was he the entire time?’ I think. ‘I haven’t seen him at all since our kiss, and I have been here for quite some time.’
‘I haven’t even seen a glimpse of him around...which is strange. He should have at least been with Leif who was in the mead hall earlier with the rest of the men…I wonder if he is angry that I left him like that,’ I think some more.
I now can feel his eyes burning the back of my skull, much like what Adisa was doing to Leif. My eyes keep to the front, and I see Noma stand once Arvid joins her side.
She interlocks her arm with him, and they walk towards the table they have made sacrifices on in the past.
The last time I attended a ceremony like this, I was a child. They had sacrificed an animal, and I passed out. I promise myself that won’t happen, no matter what they choose to sacrifice to their gods.
This time they were choosing something or someone to be sacrificed to Fenrir, as this was his night and whoever or whatever was chosen to get sacrificed would be running with the wolves, side by side with Fenrir himself.
I swallow, preparing myself, and Noma chooses then to speak. “Tonight there will be no sacrifice.” Her voice is loud and booming, and when the news hits everyone ears, chatter erupts within the crowd.
Even Arvid, who is by her side, looks shocked and whispers something, but she ignores whatever he has said. Probably something about getting Fenrir himself on their bad side as that is what everyone is worried about—the whispers to the right and left both speak of this.
What if they don’t sacrifice something? He will appear after breaking loose of his chains, and he destroy the village during his rampage, taking the life of Noma herself for not respecting him.
Noma ignores all the whispers and mutters, and she yells louder and with confidence, “Tonight, we will give him something far greater than any sacrifice.”
The chattering gets quiet and Arvid now sports a look of confusion like the others in the crowd. I am guessing they are all trying to think of what is greater than a sacrifice.
Her eyes then land on me, and she says, taking her arm from Arvid and moving away from him “Tonight we will be turning a born and bred Christian into one of us...She will be the one running with the wolves tonight.”
She then walks up to me, and she grabs my wrist, pulling me forward. She asks lowly, so I can only hear, “Are you ready, Ellie?”
I feel my nerves trying to freeze my tongue, but I push myself to speak, and I reply to her question, “I’m ready.”
She smiles at me, almost wolfishly, and she says, “Good because by the end of tonight you will no longer be a Christian or that girl from England. Tonight, you will be one of us.”
“You will be a Dane,” she purrs and smiles.
Chapter 20
Between Two Worlds
The fire cracks and pops loudly, and the crowd surrounds us, watching the scene unfold before them. Eyes such as Leif, Runa, and Frey, and even the seer watch me intently. Even Arvid looks shocked for once.
Frey has long since pushed past the crowd to get to the front in order to see more of what is happening; his face is grim making me wonder if he is worried about me or more about his people.
The music, the laughter, every noise has ceased except for nature itself upon Noma’s announcement. I can feel that the tension is thick; I am the first Christian to denounce my God and take theirs as my own. They don’t know what is going to happen, as neither do I.
Thoughts like these surfaced in my head and probably within theirs as well.
‘Will their Gods forsake them or me for what is going to happen?’
&nbs
p; ‘Will they be cursed because of me?’
‘Or will I be the one who is going to be cursed?’
I’m sure even Frey’s head is bouncing with such thoughts.
I kneel on the ground and above me is Noma whose eyes are serious, and her face is stern.
She asks me, her voice loud so it can be heard from within the crowd, “Do you hereby denounce your Christian god and accept and worship our Gods. Such Gods as Odin, Thor, Loki, Frey, Freya, and Fenrir.”
“Yes,” I reply, and I clench my fists, a pang of worry in my chest just for a second, that my old God might strike me dead, but nothing comes. No lightning, no thunder, no anything. Only silence.
For once, the silence is comforting, knowing that for now, nothing is happening. I am safe from my God’s wrath in these moments of silence.
She then takes a bowl from the sacrificial table, and she orders me seconds later, “Stand.”
I then stand, Noma being currently and forever taller than me by a few inches. She pushes the bowl towards me and inside is that same liquid they have been putting on their faces all night.
She then orders next, “Drink. All of it.”
I don’t question what it is, in fear of what it might be, and I might not drink it. So, I take the bowl from her, and I clench my eyes shut as I bring the bowl to my lips and start letting the liquid slide into my mouth and down my throat as I swallow.
It isn’t long before I feel like I want to gag at the taste. It’s salty and metallic and it isn’t long before I recognize it as blood.
I force myself to swallow everything before there is no more with the tipped bowl in my hands. I then reopen my eyes, wiping my mouth, and I look at Noma for what to do next as I rest the wooden bowl on the ground.
She then smiles, the serious look vanishing from her face, instantly replaced with a relaxed look. “You now have the blood of a Dane running through you. Welcome to our world now, Ellie. For our Gods are now yours.”
At this, everyone cheers around me except for the seldom few like Frey or Arvid. Then a memory flashes through me. It is of the distant past that doesn’t seem like it was too long ago.
I am reminded of the priest welcoming me to the Christian world as a child, his words very similar to Noma from what I faintly remember from that day.
I recall the comfort of the blanket around my shoulders that was given to me by the kindhearted priest. I also remember the warmth of my mother’s hand placed firmly against me soon after the ceremony was finished.
“Welcome to the Christian world,” or something along those lines is what he had said. Now I am being welcomed into the world of pagans and pagan Gods.
I’m sure everyone during my ceremony of the past hadn’t predicted that the princess of Thovalon would be drinking the blood of pagans in order to be welcomed into their world by their Gods.
More memories also flood into me like being with my mother and soon after getting captured by Frey himself. A day that changed everything for me, even now turning me against my own religion, but it was for the best...Right?
I am no longer a Christian. It is too late to turn back now or have regrets. What is done is done. My God is no longer. Those such as Thor and Odin are now my Gods.
These thoughts cease when an arm wraps snugly around my shoulders, and to my right I see Leif as he asks, “So do I still get the privilege of calling you an English lass or has that been taken away from me?”
I smile slightly, my voice soft among the cheers and hollers from the crowd, “Just don’t call me a Christian anymore.”
“Got it,” he says, slapping my back as he then moves away from me going to Runa’s side.
My eyes then turn towards Frey, whose face is still serious, and he looks like he has to say something, but instead, he turns around, pushing back and out of the crowd.
I, for some reason, want to follow him, but I remember how that ended up last time— following Frey just led to me being pushed up against some house and sharing spit. That might lead to a similar outcome, or perhaps something had turned his mood foul.
So, I should let him go, right? It felt right to do but also to some extent...wrong. I don’t like it. You’d think he would be like his brother Leif and congratulate me or something. Maybe something has displeased him...the kiss perhaps.
I start to frown, the voices around me fading and during this, a drinking horn is shoved into my hand. To my right, I see the man who had told me of my fate earlier that day. The man with the crazy eyes that could take the appearance of an old woman if he so wished it.
Or was this even his true appearance?
He is a mysterious man.
“Drink. Today is a day to celebrate your birth into a new being,” he says, grinning. “For you are no longer a Christian, girlie.”
I stare down at the ale that resides in the drinking horn, and I ask him, “Was this the right choice?”
He giggles, and he says, moving away from me and entering the crowd, “I don’t know. That is something for you to find out, not for me to answer...isn’t it, dearie?”
I then frown more before downing what is inside the cup.
The rest of the night, everything is a blur. I faintly remember weaving in and out of the crowd, being congratulated and danced with, hearing animalistic howls, and seeing friendly and sometimes not so friendly spars.
It also isn’t long before my body rejects the blood inside of me and comes up my throat once I enter the woods to get some privacy. Everything I ate and drank also comes up with the red and dark liquid.
Afterward, I stumble down a hill before collapsing into the grass. I do not move, and I look up at the dark night skies listening to the sounds of a nearby stream and noisy animals and bugs.
Even when I stumble down the hill, I feel no pain, as that night I know I had too much to drink against my better judgment. The temptation was too great, and everybody around me seemed to encourage the action.
For hours it felt like I laid on my back staring up at the dark skies before that darkness faded into the dream realm.
The dream realm where I am greeted by a gigantic and scary wolf in chains breathing and huffing in my face. It isn’t long before my mind screams the name of the wolf, “Fenrir.”
I push back away from the wolf, and it snarls at me before its deep voice enters my frightened mind as I stare up at it with large eyes, ‘So you are what is given to me tonight?’
It opens its mouth as its voice echoes in my head, and drool drips down from its mouth onto the inky black ground. ′I would have much rather preferred a sacrifice than some Christian woman that has betrayed her own people. ′
The chains disintegrate around the humongous wolf, and it begins to move before circling around me, examining me with eerie eyes. His gait is different from that of a real wolf, fluid but jerky, having muscles move under its skin that no regular wolf had.
I feel myself tense and the wolf shows its teeth more. ‘I should curse that hideous woman who has given me such a spoiled gift.’
It snaps its teeth but keeps its distance, and I flinch at the loud sound.
I then say out loud, “Don’t curse Noma. If you have to curse anyone, curse me!”
It laughs in my head, and it says, ‘You?’
“Yes!” I reply, keeping my eyes trained on the wolf, not wanting to turn into a coward.
‘How can I curse an already cursed child?’ It laughs more before pouncing on me, taking its claws and tearing into my dress.
I clench my eyes shut as my clothing rips, and I am left nude in front of the eyes of the beast. I feel no pain from its paw pinning my arm down even though I very well should from its weight.
When I reopen my eyes, I see its eyes are trained in between my breasts as if it saw something I couldn’t see.
‘Your soul is clean but cursed,’ it says. ‘You’re favored by Loki out of the Gods. But he is not a God to be favored by for you will suffer because of him. He is a trickster and will play with your heart, b
ut Freya also remains so very close to you and she will do her best to guide you in the path of love, lust, and fertility for it is her way. She has also chosen you much like Loki.’
Its eyes that seem like they have no soul stare into mine before it continues, ‘But it seems you have truly taken to the life here even though you are still plagued by your Christian god.’ It growls at me after pausing, and it says, ‘Those caught between two worlds are cursed and will remain so until they choose a path.’
Fenrir steps away from me before walking away as he says in a snappish tone, ‘I will not accept you until you decide what you truly are, as I will not guide a tarnished soul who is clouded by her own judgment, especially by that of a false god.’
“Wait!” I scream, sitting up and trying to follow after the beast, the fear I was feeling long since faded. “I will forget about my God, I promise. You have to accept me as I will never be acknowledged!”
The huge wolf doesn’t stop, and neither does it speak any more words, and it begins to fade into the darkness, leaving me behind.
“Wait,” I scream one last time before falling into the inky black ground. Panic swells inside my chest as I stare down into the darkness below me that seemed never-ending.
Suddenly something grabs on to me, and my heart stops as I stare down to see Bard with his crushed skull clinging on to me with his claws as he hisses, “You haven’t forgotten about me have you, Ellie?”
He continues to climb up me, and I scream as I am stuck within this falling motion, trying to get him off me but to no avail. He then asks, “Was it fun killing me?”
Tears sting my eyes, and he grabs my breast. He continues to say, toying with it and molesting me, “I will be waiting for you in hell...and here I will torment you however I want. For all of eternity, the Gods have blessed me with this.”
He reaches up and licks me, his tongue cold, and as he toys with my bare breast, his hands begin to ooze foul smelling blood that is almost black. The blood travels down my body and before long, Bard’s body explodes over me, covering me in his blood and chunks of himself.
Wolves Among Danes Page 20
