Except the words also leave a bitter pang ringing through my chest.
Will I ever see my mother again?
Where does she think I am? Does she think I’ve been kidnapped? Brutally murdered? More than likely they think I just ran away. They’re probably searching the Whisperwood now, thinking I’d decided to go and live there like I’d threatened so many times before.
I shake those thoughts from my mind. I have a mission today.
One terrible night. One terrible deed, and I’ll be free. I’ll have all the things I fought for. I’ll have such strong magic thrumming through my veins my parents won’t be able to keep me from maturing into a true Shadow Court member.
I won’t be the same when I go back. I already know that. Nothing will ever be the same. But I can be free.
Pulling in one long deep breath, I channel every ounce of determination I can manage. A few eyes turn my way, but for the most part, no one pays me any mind.
I touch my mask gently, black satin bordered with gems to match my gown. No one will know who I am, and for the most part—they don’t seem to care. I’m not the only one wearing a masquerade mask, but we are in the minority.
My light hair flows down my back in gentle waves. It’s never been this pretty. That’s a thought that annoys the hell out of me. It takes an evil ancient monster to tame my own hair.
Most of the fae around me wear their hair in up-dos but mine waves down my back. I suspect my monster fairy godmother wanted to showcase my blond hair to make me less likely noticed as a shadow fae. Blond isn’t a very common color for my people.
I blink, wondering what my eyes look like now. Are they bright with my newfound power? Or is the magic still subdued enough it hasn’t affected my eye color yet?
Or perhaps my broken heart has dimed them enough to hide it.
I press through the crowd, trying to pretend to be someone else. A character.
I am an assassin. Not Caelynn, an adolescent fae tortured and manipulated into doing an evil deed, but instead, powerful and in full control. An assassin here to kill someone who truly deserves it.
Weaving through the crowd, I can almost believe it. Every step gives me more agency, more purpose. I will do this like an expert. And I will leave feeling more powerful than I’ve ever felt.
I look down at the gentle twist of thorns painted around my wrist.
My determined marching ends abruptly as I reach the end of the hall. White glass stained windows depicting fae from the ages stare at me. Judge me. Have you become as weak as we? They whisper. Have you become like us?
I blink, surprised at my own thoughts.
Do you think we came to power, grew our legacy, without blood on our hands? Without corruption? The imaginary fae tells me. Now it is your turn, Caelynn of the Shadow Court.
I shiver and force my eyes away. Is this some trick of the Night Bringer to comfort me of my terrible quest or some sick part of my subconscious coming out?
I turn to find a table full of bubbling beverages, and I grab a glass of the darkest liquid I can find. My parents never allowed me to drink more than one glass of tonic at our festivals—not that I’ve ever been to an event this luxurious.
I take a sip of my wine and choke on the bitter taste. This is fae wine? Ew.
A light chuckle catches my attention. I spin to find a young fae with dark hair and kind eyes smiling at me. “Try the white wine. It tastes better.”
I purse my lips. “Why must the darker wine be the bitter one?”
He shrugs. “That’s just the way of things.”
“Doesn’t seem fair,” I say. “Your hair is quite dark, does that make you bitter?”
He smirks, his silver eyes glistening. “I hope not.” He reminds me a bit of Kayne, actually. His dark hair dips into his eyes and he wears a mischievous smirk—except his eyes are silver. He’s from the Luminescent Court.
He’s my age, I think. Or perhaps a few years older.
I tilt my head as I examine him, finding I like the way he looks at me, and my lips spread into a gentle grin. “Here,” he says, quietly and retrieves another glass not as dark my first but still a deep red.
I taste the liquid gingerly. There’s a harsh taste at first but after comes a soothing sweetness. “Okay, better.”
“All wine takes a bit of getting used to, to be honest.”
“Fair enough,” I say and bite my tongue after.
My eyes drift to the boy’s lips, full and gentle, his cheeks bone sharp, his ears pointed out just a bit. He’s examining me too, his gaze lingering on my neck, then my lips. I can feel my cheeks heating. What is it about this boy?
“What’s your name?” he asks me.
My mouth falls open. I don’t suspect I should tell him the truth.
“Lynn,” I say, a half-truth.
“Rev,” he says with a smile that makes my heart flutter.
I’ve never reacted to Kayne this way. My heart never beat erratically, my stomach didn’t flutter.
“Do you... want to dance?” he asks me.
My eyebrows shoot up. For a moment, my mission comes to mind, but I shake it off. I can stall a little bit with an innocent dance, right? I haven’t found the prince yet, so what’s the harm? I’m blending in, I tell the magic coiling in my gut. The thorns painted on my wrist squeeze, pinching sharply—or am I imagining that?
I take his hand, gentle in mine, and he pulls me quickly into the moving crowd. He takes control easily, spinning me to the music. That glint never leaves his eye. I fall into the dance easily, eyes locked with his.
My father taught me the traditional dances as a child. A little girl spinning around in her father’s arms in the middle of our little cottage. I’ve never danced with anyone else.
But Rev is the perfect first.
The lights twinkle above us, shimmering and darting over our skin as we fly and twirl in perfect rhythm
I hadn’t thought anything in the world could make me forget what I’d just been through. That evil creature’s magic prowling through my body, manipulating me, hurting me. The terrible deed I must complete to save myself.
But here, now, spinning beneath this beautiful ceiling in a court the exact opposite of my own, with a boy I just met—I feel free. Everything feels right.
The music fades and slows into a gentle tune. My dance partner stops. He pauses, looking down at our joined hands. His lips part. I can see so many of his emotions clearly on his face.
In the Shadow Court, we are not so open with what we’re feeling. But Rev is like an open book. He likes me as much as I like him, that’s clear on his face. And that is the strangest thing in the world to me.
I’d never thought much about boys—I like it when they like me, but I don’t desire much more than that. I’ve never had much of a desire to marry or find a mate. One day, sure—but now? No. I want adventure. I want to prove myself. And linking with another person just means sharing whatever glory you could earn for yourself.
But in this moment, I wonder if, after the terrible part of tonight is over and I’m strong and important—that I could find him again. Rev. Maybe there’s some future for us.
It’s a stupid thought, I realize, but it’s hope. Something I wasn’t sure I was capable of feeling anymore. I swallow, my heart dropping just a bit as I think back to why I’m here.
Rev also looks suddenly distracted, his eyes distant, looking past me.
I step off the dance floor, our moment over. I follow his gaze and see a young fae. He holds his head high and has cheekbones similar to Rev’s. He’s walking hand in hand with a redheaded beauty.
“My brother’s new mate,” Rev says, his tone low, almost like he doesn’t approve.
“Not a fan of mates?” I ask him. He blinks and looks down at me. The idea of magic choosing our partners has always been strange to me, but for most of our people, it’s cherished.
“No, of course not. I...I’d love to find my mate.” His eyes bore into mine. What is he looking for? I a
sk myself. Meanwhile, I’m as breathless as I’ve ever been. My heart is throbbing.
“I’d always thought the idea of a mate felt so...restricting.” I shrug.
“Really? I see it as freeing. One person who is on your side, no matter what. Like a missing part of you out there waiting somewhere.”
I swallow. “That does sound nice.”
He takes in a deep breath, his shoulders tense as he watches his brother passing.
“You’re not a fan of your brother’s mate, then?”
His eyebrows pull down. He’s displeased but a tad confused. “She’s... okay. It’s just that... he gets everything. He’s perfect.”
I turn to examine the brother. He’s poised and powerful, not particularly tall but his gait is all confidence. His suit is a crisp white, his eyes harsh but bright. The same silver as Rev’s. “He doesn’t look all that great,” I say.
Rev chuckles under his breath. “I wouldn’t say that too loud.” A gentle sensation drifts over my hand, and my breath catches. I keep my eyes on the couple walking through the crowd that parts seamlessly for them, but my eyes glaze over at the euphoric feeling of Rev’s fingertips running gently over my palm.
How does something so simple feel that good?
What is this male doing to me?
He smiles as he locks eyes with mine. The music fades. The lights dim and shift toward the front of the room, but all I can see is him, Rev, as he leans in slowly.
His lips meet mine so softly. So gently. Something stirs in my gut sharply. My eyes fly open. Rev pulls back, a confused expression on his face.
Yesss.
I take a step back. What is that? Rumbling in my chest deepens. The magic, that dark magic he gave to me, is stirring. Why?
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice two forms walking up a set of stairs to a small platform at the end of the room, all the lights focused on them. A handsome fae in a white suit, arm in arm with a redheaded beauty.
The breath leaves my lungs. My blood runs cold.
“Fae of the ruling courts,” a voice calls over the crowd that hushes. But the magic inside me continues to coil, ready to strike. My heart shatters into a million pieces because I’ve already figured it out.
I know why the Night Bringer said it would be hard for me to kill my mark. He’s not my long-lost brother or some friend I didn’t remember meeting.
The fae standing on the stage beside the High Queen of all the fae realm, is Rev’s brother. And that can only mean one thing.
“I give you,” the queen calls out. “Your next High King—Reahgan of the Luminescent Court.”
The boy who I just danced with, just kissed—is a prince. A prince of the Luminescent Court.
Panic written all over my face, I turn to him. Rev is the fae I must kill.
Chapter Twelve
I step back, shaking my head. Tears well in my eyes.
“Lynn?” he asks, now noticing my distress. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you have a brother?” I ask quickly. “Another one, I mean?”
His eyebrows pull down. Behind us, the crowds keep rapt attention on the fae on stage, but I don’t hear a word he says. All I see is Rev. The sweetest person I’ve ever met. My first dance. My first kiss. The first male to make my heart flutter in all the best ways.
And I have to kill him.
If I don’t... I can’t even think about what would happen to me if I fail to complete my end of the bargain.
Death would be a mercy, the magic inside me whispers.
“I... yes,”
My heart leaps. Please, please let the brother be younger. It’s a sick thought, I realize. Please have a little brother so I can kill him instead of you. What is wrong with me?
The dagger at my thigh is suddenly a hundred pounds. I already know the answer. I can feel it. The way the magic wriggles in delight. I’ve caught my prey in a trap I hadn’t even known I was setting. It would be easy to get him away from the crowds. He’d follow me easily.
“I have twin half-brothers. Bastards.”
I swallow and nod, my heart steeling itself, saying goodbye to this future I could almost see—almost taste. “So they’re not heirs.” They don’t count, even if they are younger.
“No. Why...”
He steps toward me, the look in his eyes telling me he’s afraid to lose me. Afraid I’m going to run.
He should fear me but not for that reason. The best thing I could do for him is to run.
So, I do. I turn and slip into the crowd. Rev shouts at me and rushes after, reaching out, but I slip beyond his grasp. I barrel into a set of pretty young females who squeal angrily, I stumble, my ankle buckling beneath me as I plow forward. My right shoe falls off, but I keep going. I can’t stop.
Two quick maneuvers into the crowd and then I pull shadows over my body, and I disappear—using the darkness to hide me.
I slip past the crowds, focused intently on the fae giving an inspiring speech about his future rule while my life is falling apart. Out the exit and into the cool air.
It’s hard to breathe. Rain drops fall gently on my head, rolling down my shining blond hair and my cheeks, mingling with the tears. I find a little corner to curl into, darkness covering me so that no one can see me cry.
Go back, the magic inside me whispers, pressing harder on my chest. I squirm uncomfortably. Claim me.
I close my eyes, realizing that if I go any further, it may take that as me giving up, failing my mission. Then the Night Bringer will come for me. Or the magic inside of me will strangle me, devour me from the inside out.
My chest heaves as I look out at the sculpted white grass gardens of the Luminescent Court. The massive white iron gates are flung wide open. I want to leave. I want to flee. But I can’t.
No matter what that fae prince made me feel, no matter the hope and comfort he brought me for those moments, I can’t give up this mission. Is a prince I don’t even know worth more than my own life?
I have to save myself.
Chapter Thirteen
I hold myself tightly, shivering, trembling, and watching.
Using the shadows around me to hide my appearance is something I’ve practiced since I was a child. It’s a pretty classic move in my homeland, but it doesn’t work well when there are other shadow fae around you. They too can use shadows to their advantage and are trained to see through that haze.
Here, no one can see me when I slip into shadows. I’m entirely invisible so long as I’m not in direct light.
Twelve hours after I first hid from Rev— the fae prince I have to kill or spend eternity in constant torture—I have yet to be seen as I sneak through the Luminescent Court Palace. Of course, a good portion of that time was through the night, but the celebration did not end as the sun rose. In fact, though the event is over, many linger, drinking and eating and playing merrily well into the day.
There are still fae running here and there, laughing and stumbling around nearly the whole palace. There are servers still bustling, their expressions serious. There are guards standing stoic in their stationed places.
No one has looked my direction as I pass through the halls.
My trembling has not stopped, not for one moment since I learned the identity of my mark. He was sweet and kind and—from everything I can tell—good.
I don’t know if I can follow through with my mission.
But I also know that I can’t give up. So long as I’m still trying, I am free from the Night Bringer. So basically, I can’t leave this palace—ever—unless I end his life.
For now, the palace is lively enough that my sneaking around won’t get me in trouble, even without my ability to hide. But there are some places I’m not allowed to go without a proper escort.
I sneak down a quiet hall, heading who-knows-where, passing a giggling young couple. In the next hall, I find an older fae male dancing alone to no music at all. Finally, I pass a group of children playing a game on the steps.
On the next fl
oor, there is a pair of guards stationed at one hallway. I wonder if this is exactly what I’m looking for—the royal family’s living quarters.
I stand there watching, trying to force my mind to keep to the mission logical, calm, but my body doesn’t listen. I can’t stop shivering no matter how hard I try.
A group of whispering young females in elaborate dresses pass me. I press my back to the wall of the stairs, hiding tightly within my shadows. They don’t notice me. But the guards certainly notice them.
Their swords cross, blocking the hall. “Sorry ladies,” one of the guards says. “You are not permitted entrance to this part of the palace.”
One of the girls gasps, pressing a hand to her chest. Another takes a step toward the guards casually. Her head tilts innocently and she bites her lip. “Oh, well, you see—we were invited by Prince Reveln.”
My stomach twists stupidly.
The guard’s lip quirks like he finds this amusing. “Very well, what is the password?”
The girl’s mouth falls open. “Password?”
Both guards smile.
The girl considers for a moment. Then she places her hand on her hip. “Lumi!” she says confidently. “That was his childhood pet’s name.” She smiles proudly.
“Incorrect.”
The girl pouts.
“Phoenix?” another of the girls asks, this time not even hiding the fact that they’re just guessing now. The guard lifts one brow as he considers them.
“Fairy bells!”
They giggle.
“Ladies,” the quiet guard says firmly. “Prince Reveln does not wish for visitors at the time. If he did, we would have allowed you entrance.”
I find a form of sick joy watching the girls grumble as they saunter back down the stairs where they came from. And now, I have my chance to make my own way to the prince, knowing full well it will not be nearly as pleasant of a trip as those girls were hoping for.
Several minutes pass quietly. The guards’ swords return to their casual stance, but their muscles remain tense. I watch closely. Patience is not my best attribute, but I’m capable of it when I must be.
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