by Elí Freysson
She touched her bare throat again.
“Lady Lumiara smiled at me. It was beautiful. She whispered assurances. An attendant brought a collar. The lady put it around my throat. And then I was hers. Immediately and completely. I forgot all about fear. It was... such a relief.”
She closed her hands all the way around her neck, trying to make sense of that moment.
“What happened to you?” she asked, looking at nothing.
“They came for us,” Elseth said. “From two directions. We abandoned the original plan and fled into the wilderness. It was dumb luck that we got away, really. They knew exactly where we were.”
“I told them,” Irina admitted. “Well, I told Mistress Lumiara. She asked if I had accomplices and lying wasn’t difficult. It simply wasn’t an option. I hoped...”
She sighed, still holding her neck and rubbing it slightly.
“You hoped what?” Jon asked.
“I hoped they would catch you. So we could be together. You need to understand how complete the bond is. If I had spotted and recognised you in that village Ana, Bors and I would have taken you into custody. You would have been held in the village as we went on our hunt and then we probably would have walked you to the capital.”
She laughed weakly.
“And I would have been very happy to see you again and I would have told you as much.”
Elseth let out a long exhale, looking mildly stunned.
“Those collars scare me. I don’t want to be a slave. Not like that.”
“The word used is ‘chalu’,” Irina said. “The Bright Lords have outlawed normal slavery.”
“They can rename it all they like,” Jon said. “It is what it is.”
“We wanted to try to save you,” Elseth said, looking sad. “We wanted to try something. Derek screamed that we at least had to try. But in the end all we did was dodge patrols on our way north to the border.”
“You couldn’t have done anything,” Irina said. “I had already been collared.”
“We know that now,” Jon said. “And suspected it then. But just abandoning you still hurt.”
Irina could think of nothing immediate to say to that. It really would have hurt, and all she could do was give them sympathetic looks.
“What was it all like?” Kent asked softly. “People wonder. And they don’t trust they’ll get honest opinions from the slaves of the Bright Lords.”
“Easy,” Irina replied. “It was easy. No doubt. No anger at my fate. I never lacked for companionship. I always had my mistress’s touch over my spirit, and there were the others. Like Bors and Ana. I was never disciplined, because I never disobeyed. I just did as ordered, like all of us do.”
She shook her head.
“All of... them. Like all of them do. I patrolled. I hunted demons. I healed. I served as a messenger. I roamed between villages to serve as Mistress Lumiara’s eyes. I felt proud to have a hand in bringing about a better society.”
Jon hmm’d.
“There are all sorts of tools for controlling people,” he said. “Induced happiness has to be the most effective one. Unhappy people will inevitably try to rebel, after all.”
“Yes, I suppose they will,” Irina replied.
The three were silent for some time. She guessed they were trying to process what she had experienced.
“Was there really no part of you that resisted?” Jon then asked. “Was there never doubt?”
“Doubt?” Irina repeated, and wondered how to define the word. She gripped her brown ponytail and ran a hand along it. “I... there...”
A nasty realisation hit her with a start.
“My ribbon!”
She undid the ribbon that held her hair in place with a quick jerk and looked at it. It was a broad, beautiful length of red and gold, still in perfect condition after more than a year.
“My mistress gave it to me!” she said. “It never slips out of place and never gets dirty!”
“Wait, are you saying that has her power in it?!” Elseth asked.
“A little bit, I think!” Irina said. “I’m... I’m sorry! I forgot.”
“We have to keep moving,” Jon said firmly and sprang to his feet. “Now.”
“Do we risk the ferry again?” Elseth asked. “Or do we go inland? I...”
“No,” Irina said, and sprang out from the depression in the earth. “Help me with the ferry!”
“What?” Kent said.
“Help me!”
She ran back to the beached ferry and tied the ribbon around the handrail. Then she started pushing. The others caught on and together they moved the ferry out into the current. With no load at all the craft quickly sped out of sight.
“The fire,” Kent said. “We have to kill the fire.”
He hurried back and threw water on it, plunging the area back into darkness. Then he threw on some more, before covering the remains with a blanket in an effort to cover the smell.
“We can just hide here,” he said. “This is a good spot.”
So they did. All of them lay down flat and simply waited.
With the fire out the night’s chill found its way back through Irina’s damp clothes. And with nothing to do except wait in the dark her mind turned against her again. Amidst all her various conflicts she reflected on how much she’d loved that ribbon.
It seemed almost merciful when a faint light shone from up above the depression, bobbing very slightly in time with movement. It at least focused her thoughts on a single issue.
“Irina?” came the distant shout.
It was Bors. Friend. Companion. One who’d shared her exact situation. And how her hunter.
“Irina!” shouted Ana. They were both here. “Come back to us!”
She closed her eyes, feeling guilty for her silence.
“Irina!” Bors shouted again. He was closer now, as was the light. They were moving alongside the river.
Slowly, very slowly, Irina began to crawl.
“Stop,” Kent whispered.
She kept on going, moving soundlessly up the side of the depression.
“Irina,” Elseth hissed.
“Irina!” Ana shouted again.
She peeked up above the top. She was on the farthest edge of the light, and now peered from beneath pine branches. It seemed safe.
There they were; clad in their red tunics, casting light from their kayrosi. And of course around their necks were the crimson bands that linked them directly to Lady Lumiara. Ana, with her grandfather’s dark, eastern hair, whose richness she was so proud of, and her other grandfather’s tall northern body. Bors, with his thick shoulders and boyish face, every inch a Mid-Melgener.
Irina did her best to stamp the sight into her memory as the two of them stopped by the drag-marks the ferry had left in the sand. A brief, quiet conversation followed, after which they hurried onwards, still following the river.
Irina watched their lights and voices fade into the distance. Then they were gone.
She turned over to face the others.
“So, was that our third close call tonight?” Elseth sighed.
“Why didn’t you stay put, Irina?” Jon asked, sounding agitated.
She put a hand on her head. So much chaos. So much conflict.
“If we make it to the border... then I will never see them again,” she said and felt the full weight of that fact hit her. “They’re... my companions. Ana for three years and Bors for two.”
She let out a sad breath.
“I can’t bid them farewell. So... I just wanted to see them.”
“Oh... Irina,” Elseth said, but had nothing to follow it up with. None of them did. The situation was simply strange.
“I suppose it’s safe to stay the night here,” Kent said. “We need rest to traverse the wild and they’ve already passed by this place.”
“No fire, though,” Jon said.
“No. We’ll have to huddle together.”
“Well, that’s nothing new,” Elseth said. �
��Irina, are you sure that’s all of it? You’re not wearing magic socks or some such?”
“I’m quite sure. That was it. That was all of it.”
She heard the conflict in her own voice and so of course the others did as well. The atmosphere was somewhat awkward as they found a comfortable spot in the depression. Kent and Irina relieved themselves by a nearby bush as Elseth and Jon took travelling blankets out of the packs and laid them down as bedding. Everyone then lay down together and pulled two additional blankets over the group.
Irina was on one of the far ends, pressed up against Elseth.
Again.
This was all one big return to a previous life she’d essentially put out of her mind. Here she was doing the same old things once again, in mostly the same company. As she drifted off into sleep to the sound of slow breaths it felt like one life or the other had been a dream.
She felt Elseth’s gentle hand around her own.
“It makes sense that you would feel strange,” her old friend whispered in her ear. “You’ll feel better. We’ll make it to the border.”
3.
They woke to the morning birds and ate another cold trail meal as the sun rose. The wind was still and only a few clouds hung in the sky. It looked like they would have the perfect travelling weather and the group was collectively eager to set out. Walking would dispel the chill.
There was the issue of the signature chalu tunic. Irina balled it up and stuffed it under a bush. This place wasn’t exactly a thoroughfare, but there was no reason to just leave it lying around. Elseth had a spare shirt in her bag and let Irina borrow it.
“So, we should probably keep away from the river as best we can,” Kent said. “What with those two chalu searching along it. But too far west and we get into too much traffic. We will have to thread in between. I don’t know this exact area as well as some others, but I do know that it’s a lot less populated than it used to be. There will be some old paths but be prepared to do some roughing. With a bit of luck we can manage this.”
“A bit of luck is all we’ve ever needed,” Jon said. “Lead the way.”
So they set out. There were no paths in the immediate area and the forest was quite wild. Progress was slow. Irina’s muscles were still sore and stiff from being pushed to their limits during the demon’s chase but they gradually softened as the morning wore on.
The others seemed to be bearing it all rather better than she was. She really had been spoiled by Lady Lumiara’s power.
They came across an impassable pile-up of dead trees, flanked by impassably thick bushes. Irina thought of all the times she’d cleared a similar obstruction with a leap, then suppressed her frustration as she joined the others in seeking a way around.
“Irina?” Elseth said. “If we do run into Ana and Bors... do you have any tips?”
“Tips?” Irina repeated, and stopped. She’d known this surely had to come up and hadn’t been looking forward to it.
“For fighting them,” the woman said delicately. Irina’s words about the two of them were clearly on her mind.
Irina crossed her arms and shook her head.
“Have you ever seen one of us...”
She caught herself again.
“... one of them fight?”
“Once,” Kent said. “From a distance. A Bright Lord and his slaves were battling a demon.”
“They are strong and fast and carry items of power,” Irina told them. “I have been quite active for these three years, but I’ve only twice had real trouble. Once when ambushed by a group of bandits and once when three of us fought a greater demon.”
She got lost in those days for a few moments, then returned to the topic.
“I almost never saw a chalu fight someone they could just snag with their ilthin. If they come at you then assume that will be their opening move and be ready to dodge. If you do manage to dodge, then seize the window and just run.”
She shrugged.
“Outrunning them won’t work, though. Much like with the demon. Try to lose them in the forest. They have no special gifts for finding people. And... they will surely focus on me. We had best simply not encounter them at all, but if we do I think our best strategy will be to split up and try to make our way to the border separately.”
“I don’t like the idea,” Jon said.
“Well, neither do I,” Irina admitted. “So let’s just be careful and quiet.”
They made it around the trees and the terrain that followed was somewhat less harsh, allowing them to pick up the pace.
They walked up a modest incline and then down it again, through a valley between two small hills and around a thick copse. Irina kept her eyes open for potential danger as ever, but also for a stick of the right size. She picked up a couple along the way but dismissed both as too rotten. She found a good one shortly before they reached the marshland.
It was a large clearing that would have been beautiful if not for some cruel twist of nature that fed it more water than it needed. Although what it lacked in beauty it did make up for in atmosphere. The late morning sun was only just reaching it now, raising up clouds of mist.
“Have I ever told you how much I just love wet feet?” Elseth asked sarcastically.
They took off their footwear and slung it around their necks, and Kent embarked on the task of leading them through a relatively pleasant route.
“This really is travel, isn’t it?” Irina mused out loud as her feet complained at the cold. “Wet and tiring and awful and dangerous, but fun to speak of later.”
Jon chuckled.
“I think you just summed it all up.”
“Do you two remember the swamp witch?” she asked, although of course they would remember. She looked at their misty surroundings, the semi-concealed rocks and spindly trees. “This reminds me of her.”
“Hah!” Elseth exclaimed. “Oh yes, I remember.”
“That does sound like a story worth sharing,” Kent said pointedly.
“It was in a swamp by the roots of the Kesak Mountains,” Irina said. “There had been a village there, but it had mostly sunk into the morass. All the residents had long since picked up and moved, save this one old woman. Some of her neighbours insisted she was a witch who consorted with fell spirits and demons. But we were hired to find an old heirloom in the village and we were in rather dire need for money.”
Kent had to focus on where he put his feet but glanced frequently over his shoulder.
“We went under cover of darkness, just as a mist began to rise from the waters. But she heard us. And that was how we found ourselves hiding behind trees as this old crone walked back and forth, screaming about the curses and devils she would visit on us for trespassing.”
“I have never heard someone scream like that,” Elseth said. “Not with such hate and rage. I don’t know how her throat withstood it.”
“Nor do I,” Irina said.
“She terrified me,” Jon said with another chuckle. “I’m not going to pretend otherwise.”
“Did she find you?” Kent asked.
“No,” Irina said. “We did find the heirloom and sneak back out, as she ranted in the distance.”
She smiled.
“Perhaps we escaped the wrath of a terrible witch. I think it is likelier that she was just insane. But we... didn’t feel much like finding out which it was.”
“By the gods, did we not,” Elseth said.
“But it is funny to think about, isn’t it?” Jon said. “That we were cowering in fear of some pathetic old hermit.”
“It is,” Kent said with a smile at their expense. “It really is.”
They shared a little laugh, then left the marsh behind. They walked a while further to fully leave the damp behind, then dried their feet on grass before putting their footwear back on.
It was around noon that they finally came upon a path. It was little used enough to seem safe to use, but first they would rest. And there was no pressing reason to do so out in the open.
They found themselves a spot amidst the trees, where they all had space and ought to be invisible to passers-by. Irina let out a relieved groan as she slumped down up against a tree.
“Have you gotten soft?” Jon said teasingly as he sat down in a more dignified fashion.
“Perhaps,” she admitted. “Or at least accustomed to having more strength to draw upon.”
That visibly made him feel awkward, which hadn’t been her intention. She said nothing more and was just happy to receive her portion of the awful food.
No one immediately brought up a topic after they’d finished, so she turned her attention to the stick. Jon loaned her that green knife and she got to work carving. The first knot flew off way too easily and she almost nicked herself.
She put a hand on the back of her neck, where Jon had cut through the collar. How had he even managed that without injuring her?
She continued more slowly, marvelling at the blade’s cutting power. The necessary caution was a blessing. Inaction seemed to have become her enemy and being able to focus on a delicate task made for a good distraction from her own mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about it all but she could manage to do it in a more orderly fashion.
Around her birds sang, leaves whispered in the breeze and her old friends and Kent made only the occasional contented sigh. By the time she was finished she felt ready to speak.
“Jon... last night you asked me about resistance.”
They all turned to look at her with interest.
“It is hard for me to explain it all,” she continued slowly. “How my thoughts worked when they were influenced by Mistress Lumiara. But now that I think about it I must admit I had these... moments.”
“Of what?” Elseth asked when she didn’t immediately continue.
“Of...”
Irina clicked her tongue in frustration. Language really was an imperfect medium.
“Of not feeling a desire for freedom so much as thinking it,” she settled for.
“What?” Kent said with confusion she had been expecting.
“My mistress kept me satisfied,” Irina explained. “She was always in the back of my mind, soothing any upset and erasing any doubt. But I sometimes thought back on the person I’d once been. On the life I’d led and the attitudes I’d had. I knew on a rational level that I was being made to feel as I did and that I would have objected to my servitude, my slavery, before the collar. I had been forced into all of it against my will.”
