Ryan returned a few minutes later and dropped next to me on the couch. He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me with fervor, without saying a word. I was more than okay with it. I liked non-verbal communication. By the time I pulled away, my heart rate was up and I was breathing harder than normal. I settled my head against his chest. “What was that for?”
“I didn’t know I needed a reason to kiss you.”
“You don’t, but there seemed to be some underlying emotion in it.”
He rubbed his hand gently against my arm. “Charlee, I’m trying.”
“I know you are. Do you still . . . love her?” I had wanted to ask him that for so long.
He paused, and my heart skipped a few beats waiting for him to answer.
“No …”
“What does that mean?”
“Charlee, she’s the mother of my son and we were married for seven years. While I’m not in love with her, my feelings for her are complicated.” There was that word again. I was beginning to dislike it very much.
“Okay.”
“Hey, my feelings for you are not complicated. I’m happy we’re together. Which reminds me, I have something for you.” He extracted himself from me and walked toward his bedroom. He came back carrying a jacket. He stood in front of me with a playful grin and held up his letterman’s jacket. “I didn’t have a class ring, but I thought maybe this would work.”
I laughed and took the maroon and gold jacket out of his hand and admired it. I ran my fingers across the S with all his track and field patches and pins. “Looks like you were quite the star.”
He sat next to me and relived some of his high school glory days with me. I liked to hear him talk about his track meets and accomplishments and even failures that he learned from. I liked it even better when he took the jacket from my hands and placed it around my shoulders. It smelled yummy, like him.
“Now you’re mine.” He kissed me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Monday evening arrived, and I was nervous. I dressed more conservatively, in jeans and a Bronco t-shirt this go around. The evenings were getting chilly now that we were into September. Even running in the mornings was getting a little too nippy for my taste. Ryan was sad I had to retire my pink running shorts for the season.
My dad insisted on getting the door when Ryan arrived to pick me up. I insisted he not, but I lost. My dad was still on the overprotective kick, and since Ryan was taking me back to the same place where he blew it, he felt the need to flex his dad muscles.
I let my dad talk to him alone. I figured it would be less embarrassing for Ryan that way, and honestly, I didn’t want any part of it.
After five minutes, my dad called to me and let me know Ryan was there, like I didn’t know already. I stopped myself from running upstairs. I found I just wanted to be near Ryan, but I acted mature and sauntered up at a casual pace.
Both the men in my life turned my way. One greeted me with a look of fatherly affection, the other was anything but fatherly. It was more like a “maybe we should be alone tonight” kind of a look. I recognized it because I felt the same way when I looked at him. He looked great in his well-fitting jeans and his own Bronco t-shirt that stretched nicely across his toned chest.
Ryan reached out his hand to me and I gladly took it. My dad kissed my cheek as if he were letting Ryan know who the boss was.
“Goodnight, Dad.”
“You kids have a good time.”
“We will.” At least I hoped we would.
“See you later, Jeff,” Ryan said to his friend and partner.
Ryan led me out the door into the crisp evening. It was starting to smell like fall, and I loved it.
Once we were both settled in the car, he kissed me.
“Sorry about my dad.”
“It’s all right, I suppose I deserved it. Hopefully he’ll forgive me soon.”
“I’m sorry our relationship has caused discord between you.”
“It’s not your fault. It was my own doing. Your dad is being a good dad, and I respect that.”
“I know, but you guys are partners and friends.”
“And we still will be.”
He turned to start the car, but stopped suddenly. “I forgot, I have something for you.” He reached back, grabbed a silver colored gift bag, and handed it to me. “I picked it up during lunch today.”
I took the bag. I knew what was inside of it. He insisted on having my CPA license professionally matted and framed when it had come in the mail last week. I told him a frame from Target would do, but he adamantly disagreed. I pulled out the black framed license that made me a legit certified public accountant and looked it over. I looked back up to a proud Ryan. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me. “I would kiss your face off right here if the neighbors weren’t so gossipy.”
“Let them talk.” His mouth landed on mine.
I didn’t exactly kiss his face off, but close enough. I wiped my lipstick off his lips, and he grinned.
“When you get your Master’s in Psychology, I’ll get it framed to match.”
We were never leaving the driveway if he kept talking like that. That was the biggest turn-on ever. Not only did it say he supported me in my goals, but he thought we would be together when it happened. “I lo …like you . . . a lot.” Oh, I got careless. I wasn’t sure if he caught that.
He smiled. “I’m glad, because I like you, too . . . a lot.” He kissed my cheek before he started his car.
I took a deep breath and reminded myself to watch it, but it was getting more difficult. I was truly, madly, deeply in love with him.
When we pulled up to the sports bar, he turned off his car and turned toward me. He rested his hand against my cheek. “I really am sorry about last time, but tonight I plan on making up for it.”
I arched my eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
He leaned over and his lips teased mine before he pressed his mouth against mine. He took a moment to soak me in before my lips parted. He gave me a small taste of what I hoped I had to look forward to the rest of the night. He had a hard time pulling away. “We better go.” He didn’t sound convinced.
We walked in hand-in-hand, but this time when we met his friends, he kept a hold of me. In a somewhat comical gesture, Hayes and Rob took me from him and placed me in between them. I thought it was cute, Ryan not so much. He took me right back, led me to the other side of the table, scooted his chair as close as he could to mine, and draped his arm around me. It kind of broke the ice and awkwardness, and we all settled in for a night of football. Alec was even somewhat polite. He was a lot better without his wife around. I was so relieved she didn’t show up again. That had been my biggest worry.
My other pleasant surprise of the evening was that Ivy was our server. This time I made introductions. I loved saying, “This is my boyfriend, Ryan.”
Her eyes said she approved. Who wouldn’t? He was a credit to the male species.
I got crazy and ordered a virgin daiquiri, and Ryan ordered a Coke. Yeah, we were really wild. Alec gave him a hard time for not drinking, but he brushed it off. I knew it wasn’t the best thing for either of us to be drinking sugar laced beverages since we were training for a race that weekend, but oh well. I was going to die either way, and Ryan was going to be amazing.
“Congratulations,” Hayes yelled across the table to me. The game had started and everyone was shouting at the TV. “Ryan told us you passed your CPA exam.”
I smiled over at my proud boyfriend before answering. “Thank you. Now I’m trying to get back into school.”
“MBA not enough for you?” Hayes asked.
“No.” I smiled.
“She’s going to be a psychologist,” Ryan added before kissing my head.
I loved this Ryan.
“Did we come here to watch the game or not?” Alec barked.
We all turned our attention to the game, but not before we thanked Ivy for bringing our drinks and the most ginormous platter of nachos I had e
ver seen. Rob had ordered them and told us all to help ourselves. No one needed a second invitation. The spicy meat and cheese concoction was oh, so good, but I’m sure super bad for you. I washed it down with some of my other unhealthy choice for the night. I took a large drink of my daiquiri and something was different. At first I thought maybe the jalapenos had burned off my taste buds, so I took another sip. It was still different, but yummy, so like an idiot I kept drinking it. I didn’t realize that perhaps the burning sensation wasn’t the spicy nachos. Besides, I was having such a great time with Ryan that everything else was secondary. And like a bigger idiot, I had more than one daquiri.
I had a great time yelling at the refs and cheering on my favorite football team. Ryan kept smiling over at me.
“Am I embarrassing you?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m not sure if you’ve ever been sexier to me.”
Suddenly I was feeling warm and fuzzy; it was kind of an odd, freeing sensation. Ryan had that effect on me and I loved it. I didn’t care that we were with his friends, or in a room full of people, I leaned into him and let my lips fall on his. I saw him grin right before our lips met.
He kissed me once, but pulled away. “You taste different, and my lips kind of tingled.”
I laughed like it was the funniest thing he had ever said.
“You did say virgin daiquiri, right?”
“Of course.”
He looked over at my almost completely empty glass and picked it up. He took the final sip, set it down, and laughed. “Charlee, there was nothing virgin about that drink.”
I leaned into him again, I couldn’t help myself. “What do you mean?”
He pulled me closer, and kissed the top of my head.
Ivy walked by to ask if we wanted our drinks refilled.
“What did you bring Charlee to drink?” Ryan asked her.
“A virgin daiquiri like she asked.”
Ryan shook his head. “I don’t think so.” He handed Ivy the glass.
“I guess the bartender misunderstood me,” she said, or at least I think that’s what she said.
My brain was swirling, and I wasn’t sure I heard her right. All I could focus on was Ryan, and even that was becoming difficult. “Ryan, I don’t feel so hot.” I continued to lean against him.
He took a hold of me. I think his friends were asking what was going on and the verdict was I was trashed. Ivy was profusely apologizing and Ryan was chuckling and stroking my hair. “She doesn’t ever drink. Now I see why.”
His friends were laughing at me. I knew I should probably care, but my head was pounding.
“Ryan,” I managed to say. “I don’t feel right.”
“Can you stand up?”
I stood up, and the whole room seemed to move. Ryan wrapped his arm around me and I clung to him. “Let’s get you home.”
“I’m so sorry,” I heard Ivy say.
“Don’t worry about it,” Ryan replied for me.
Ryan began to move, but I didn’t want to. I felt like the world was spinning and if I moved, I would fall.
“I have you. Come on, Charlee.”
I trusted his voice and made my legs move. It felt like it took forever to make it outside. The place was crowded, and with each step I felt unsure.
As soon as we made it outside, Ryan picked me up as if I weighed nothing.
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I kind of like this arrangement. Your dad may kill me, though.”
“I would laugh, but my head hurts and I feel like I’m going to toss my cookies.”
“Let’s see if we can’t get you home first.”
When we reached his car, he carefully set me in and buckled me like I was Josh.
I leaned my head against the cool glass of the passenger side window and willed myself not to throw up in Ryan’s car. I was so embarrassed. Why did I keep drinking those stupid drinks?
Ryan reached over and held my hand. “Are you okay?”
“Not really.”
It felt like the longest car ride ever, but at least I didn’t throw up. I was never ever drinking again. I didn’t know how people did it. I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
Ryan came around and, with as much care as he used to place me in the car, he picked me up.
I groaned and sank into him.
“Now the neighbors really are going to talk,” he teased.
“I’ll laugh about that later.”
Ryan kissed my head and walked us up the porch. He deftly rang the doorbell with me still in his arms. We waited, but no answer. That was weird. My dad hadn’t mentioned he was going anywhere. Ryan gently set me down, but kept a hold of me, so he could reach into his pocket. I guess he had a house key, which was good since I left my purse in his car.
We barely made it in and to the guest bathroom in the hall before I lost it. As soon as I felt better, I was going to be mortified. What was worse, or the sweetest thing ever, was he stayed in there with me and held my hair. I felt like I was going to die. The vomiting wasn’t helping me feel any better, either. After I lost everything I had eaten in the last ten years, I collapsed on the cool tile floor of the bathroom.
“Charlee,” Ryan whispered and stroked my head. “Where do you keep your toothbrush?”
“Downstairs in my bathroom,” I barely muttered.
“I’ll be right back.”
I lay still in a ball and wished for the nausea and head spinning to go away. I was so stupid. Why did I keep drinking those delicious drinks? I had never felt so miserable in my life, and the man I loved just witnessed my stupidity and probably the grossest thing that had ever happened to me. I won’t even talk about the smell of it all. I wanted to die, literally and figuratively.
Ryan returned in no time at all with my toothbrush and toothpaste. He set them down near the sink. He bent down and basically picked me up. I didn’t want to move. I felt like in doing so I really would die. “Come on, honey. Rinse out your mouth and brush your teeth, and then I’ll take you to the couch.”
“Please, just let me die,” I moaned.
He chuckled softly. “Sorry, no can do.” He hoisted me up gently. He even put the toothpaste on the toothbrush for me.
I felt like Josh.
I slowly lifted the toothbrush and brushed my teeth at a snail’s pace and then rinsed out my mouth. I wasn’t sure that horrible taste was ever going anywhere, or the burn in my throat.
“Do you want me to carry you to the couch?” he asked.
“No, I’ve got it.”
He wrapped his arm around me, and we slowly made our way to the living room couch. I fell on the soft cushions of the light blue fabric couch. Ryan joined me and placed my head on his lap. He had also thought to bring up a blanket from my bed. He was the greatest boyfriend ever, though he was probably thinking of breaking up with me after my little exorcist event in the bathroom. Why couldn’t I be like a normal twenty-something who could drink alcohol without any issues?
“By the way, I love your bathroom decorations. I think the lacy pink one is my favorite.”
Could this night get any better? First vomiting, and now all the bras I had hand washed earlier that morning hanging all over my bathroom. I moaned as I lay there shivering. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why? I’ve seen plenty of bras in my day.”
“The bras are the least of my concerns.”
He gently brushed my hair with his hand. “You know, I kind of like this part of you.”
“The pukey, incapacitated side?”
“No, the vulnerable side.”
I turned carefully to my other side, so I could see him. He was looking down at me so sweetly. He rested his hand on my clammy cheek.
His look was my undoing. “I . . . I” I so badly wanted to tell him that I loved him. I almost did. I had never felt it stronger.
“You what?” He ran his thumb across my cheek.
“Thank you, Ryan.” I chickened out.
Thank you seemed entirely inadequate for the situation, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“You’re welcome.”
I closed my eyes to his gentle touch. “You know, I had the biggest crush on you when I was growing up.” I felt like I needed to offer him something. Something to the depth of how I felt about him.
He stopped stroking my hair and face for brief moment.
I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see his reaction.
“Really?” He took up touching me ever so softly again.
“It’s true.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything.”
“That summer I got married, I used to look at you and think someday you were going to make some guy a very lucky man. Who knew it would be me?”
I curled up tighter against him and almost told him that I loved him again, but I stopped myself. “If I could sit up, I would so kiss your face off right now.”
“I’ll take a rain check on that. You rest.” He pulled the blanket around me. I settled into him and drifted off to sleep, wishing that I had him to fall asleep to every night.
I’m not sure what time it was when I was awakened to the sound of Ryan and my dad talking. I heard the tail end of Ryan telling my dad what had happened. At least my dad was laughing. I was afraid he may be upset with Ryan, although it wasn’t even close to his fault. He was the best caretaker ever. I didn’t open my eyes or move away from Ryan. I liked where I was at. I didn’t say anything until my dad left. I did wonder, though, where my dad had been.
“What time is it?” I asked Ryan as I stirred.
“Just after midnight.”
It was late for my dad to be getting home.
I tried to sit up, but my head pounded. Instead, I groaned.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No. You’ve already done more than enough.”
“It’s late, I should probably go home.”
“Please don’t.” I opened my eyes to see his reaction. I wasn’t even sure why I said that, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
He looked at me with eyes that looked like burning evergreen bushes. He didn’t say anything. Instead he kicked off his shoes and maneuvered me gently until we were both comfortable on the couch. I snuggled into him. I wanted to stay there forever.
Trouble in Loveland (The Loveland Series Book 1) Page 25
