by Devyn Cole
I want to go to him and throw my arms around his shoulders. I feel this strong impulse to make sure he’s okay and sticth him back to health somehow. But the fact that his sister is a nurse and that he would probably yell at me for trying to help makes me, instead, run upstairs to Rachel’s guest room.
I scurry into the bedroom and slide underneath the covers overtop the twin-sized bed.
That’s when it occurs to me that none of this is really happening…
I get up from the bed immediately. It’s turned from day to night, and when I shadow down the hallway, I see Brett lying there half-naked on the couch in his sister’s living room.
Taking a deep breath, I approach him as quietly as I can. I just want to look at his enormous muscles. His size and masculinity have always struck me as inhuman. I’m a small, skinny girl who definitely has zero muscle tone and has never seen the inside of a gym in her entire life. He’s as fascinating to me as he is devastatingly arousing. Even the dark bruise that covers the right side of his body arouses my sex.
I’m weak. Powerless on purpose. I came down here for one thing, and I’m going to get it. My love and my desire for him are mine. Even he doesn’t have the right to tell me I can’t feel them.
The screen on his phone flashes silently. Once the text message disappears from the screen, I see his wallpaper. It’s a picture of me.
I don’t understand why he does this to me. We are perfect together, but he always ends up ruining it.
Well, I’m not letting him destroy it--not this time.
“Wake up, Baby,” I whisper in his ear.
I kiss his lips awake. Brett stares back at me. His blue eyes are hardly able to stay open.
“Olivia?” He asks. “Go back to bed…”
“No,” I say. “We both know this has to happen. We’re inevitable.”
Slowly, I pull his sweats down his hard, musclebound thighs. His erection is rock hard. And, when I bend towards his cock, I can feel the heat coming off it. It’s so long and thick and full of blue veins.
I keep my eyes locked with Brett’s as I wrap my lips around his thickness for the first time. Then, I slowly sink my mouth down, allowing my teeth to lightly scrape it as it fills my mouth.
Brett’s heavy groans fill the living room while I slide my mouth up and down his dick, breathing through my nose as his girth stretches out my cheeks. Then, he pulls my mouth off of him.
“Are you sure about this, Olivia?” He asks. “I know you’re a virgin.”
“Yes,” I tell him.
He lowers my mouth back down to his manhood. I part my lips and draw it over my tongue once again. Then, Brett thrusts his hips forward and begins pumping my mouth.
I move my mouth in time with his strokes, and soon I feel him touching the back of my throat. I wrap my hands around the base and begin to rub and down—my mouth still filled with the upper half of his shaft. Brett starts to hammer my mouth so fast that his stalk expands even larger.
“I could let you do this for hours and be the happiest fucking man on Earth,” Brett growls. “But I have to fuck you, baby girl.”
Brett pulls me off of him. Then, he takes off my pajamas and hides them underneath the couch. He grabs my wrist and lies me down on my back.
Brett’s sapphire eyes rake over my nudity, filled with so much feverous energy that he literally looks like he wants to eat me up. His cock is gigantic now—far larger than when I first began sucking it. I’ve dated Brett for over a year now, but never realized what a hulking brute of a man he is. I’ve been distracted by how sweet he is to me, I guess, to see the monster he is on other people’s eyes.
Well, if he’s a monster, he’s my monster. And, he’s the only one I’d allow to have me before marriage. Or, possibly ever.
Brett separates my legs. I look down between my thighs and see that I’m already drenched in anticipation. I can only imagine what will happen to my pussy the moment he’s inside her.
“Your first time should be with a good man,” he grunts at me.
“I don’t want a good man,” I say back. “I want you.”
His mouth forms a wicked smirk. Brett leans down over me. I can feel his throbbing tip gently pushing against the lips of my heat—making sure not to penetrate it yet.
“I’m going to fuck you so good that you remember this your whole life,” he whispers in my ear.
“You promise?” I whisper back.
“Cross my heart,” Brett says.
I close my eyes and feel Brett’s warm breath on my swollen nipple. His cock is threatens to puncture my glistening folds.
I place my hands over his shoulder blades. I know I’ll need something to grip when he enters me because he won’t be gentle. Brett fights against it, but darkness runs in his family. That and the fact that he’s ten years older than me. It’s the reason my dad never wanted him around me when I was a teenager. But, it’s one of a million reasons I love him.
Brett slams into my sex. I scream at the top of my lungs, but Rachel doesn’t come downstairs. She never does at this moment, no matter how loud I am…
The weight of Brett’s muscles pushing down on me is oppressive. But, the pain feels like hardly more than a pinch compared to the pleasure. The stretch itself is brutal, but in a way that only enhances the pleasure of each thrust's friction.
I rub my hands down Brett’s body. When I accidentally touch his huge bruise, he winces. I always do that because I always forget. This scares me because it means I’m starting to forget that this isn’t really happening…
“I’m sorry!” I whimper as he continues brutally pounding my virgin opening.
“I’m fine, Princess. Don’t worry about it!” Brett growls. “I’m supposed to worry about you. You’re not supposed to worry about me. Do you understand?”
I nod. But not because I’m going to stop worrying about Brett. I just feel so submissive to him at this moment—in the best possible way.
Brett covers my mouth as I scream out in torturous pleasure. Then, he slides his hand off my lips down around my neck. He looks deep in my eyes, and I know he can tell that I don’t see him as the beast that everyone else does. That I’m not afraid of him, even with his thick fingers gently gripping my throat.
His primal groans make the entire couch shake underneath us. My walls feel on fire as he beats them raw. They convulse sharply around his dick.
“Omigod!” I moan as my body fills with so much lust and love that I feel like it’s about to explode. “Brett…”
He leans forward into me, and his thrusts become even more furious and swift. I feel myself spasming on his stalk, allowing him to dive further still into me. It isn’t long until his cock collides against my rear wall. My belly tightens as I anticipate his release into my channel.
THUD!
Something heavy is dropped to the floor upstairs. I crane my neck up at the staircase to see if Rachel is coming as Brett continues to work my center undeterred.
I’m made painfully aware at this moment that what we’re doing is wrong. Rachel doesn’t know about us and would never approve. My dad is aware and definitely does not accept it.
Brett is ten years older than me and from one of the worst families in Summerland. My family, friends—everyone would disown me if they knew. But I could care less. I’d give up anything for another shot at a life with him…
Another shot. Yes, that’s right. That’s why I’m here!
Suddenly, I remember again. This isn’t happening. What I’m experiencing right now is a virtual reality constructed through shared memories. And…and…
Damn it. I’ve lost it again. What was I thinking about?! Remember, Olivia. Please! Just remember! Omigod, it’s useless. I can’t!
My climax takes me by surprise. My thoughts are everywhere, and yet the bliss I feel as my body convulses under him is no less explosive.
I hold on tight to Brett as he continues pumping me, and I think I experience a little death as my moisture soaks the cushions.
Brett's tongue slides against mine. While our mouths submerge into one another’s, I feel the hot stream of Brett’s masculine fluids shoot into me.
The action takes me totally off guard. I don’t know if I should move or stay. So, I do what feels natural and clench as tightly as possible, getting all of it inside of me.
“What have I done…?” Brett says, sliding out of me.
His face loses all color as he sinks back to the other end of the sofa.
We’ve just made love. We share everything now. Everything that was standing in our way doesn’t matter anymore now that we’ve discovered each other.
At least, that’s how I feel about it. Clearly, Brett disagrees…
“What do you mean?” I ask him. “Brett, I—”
“Don’t say it!” He roars. “Don’t you say that, Olivia. I don’t want to hear it.”
“You don’t mean that,” I say. “You’re just saying that because of my dad!”
“Screw your dad!” He barks at me. “You’re not supposed to be with me. Your life is perfect without me in it!”
“That’s not true!” I scream back, not giving a damn if his sister hears us. “I’m never giving up on you, Brett. I‘m never giving up on us. Not ever. So you’re going to have to—”
“You don’t get it,” he growls at me with red flashes in his aqua-colored eyes. “I don’t want you anymore. And, I don’t know why anyone else would.”
“You’re a piece of shit, Brett!” I scream.
My hand goes flying. I slap Brett, leaving a dark handprint across his gorgeous face.
“Fuck you!” I shout, doubling down on the mistake I know I’ve just made.
I get up from the couch and run upstairs to the guest bedroom.
I grab my phone and call Fiona. She’s who I should have gone to tonight. I thought with my pussy when I should have thought with my heart. Or did I think with my heart when I should have thought with my brain? I don’t even know anymore. I just need to get the hell out of here!
“Hello?” Fiona answers the phone.
“Fiona, can you pick me up?” I ask, trying and failing to hide how upset I am.
“Yes,” she says. “Where are you?”
CHAPTER FOUR
Brett
The tension in the room is so stiff that I can hear the hum of the printer in the corner of the room. Olivia can’t even look at me right now.
It’s strange how something that happened in the past can feel so real. It’s as if it’s happening all over again. I guess this machine isn’t all that different from how we constantly relive all our past mistakes in our minds…
“Olivia, you don’t understand—” I say.
“That I wasn’t supposed to go downstairs? I was supposed to stay upstairs for once so we wouldn’t break up?” She shouts at me. “Is covering your ass all you care about?”
“No, listen, Olivia. You just…don’t understand why I said that to you that night.”
“So, tell me!” She screams at the top of her lungs.
“I can’t,” I tell her.
“Why not?” She shouts.
“I can’t explain that either—”
“Oh, God…”
“But, you just have to trust me!” I say.
I grab her hips. But, she pushes me off.
“Look, let’s just keep going,” she says under her breath.
“Olivia…” I say patiently.
“I WANT TO KEEP GOING!” She yells at me. “I don’t lose, Brett. I don’t ever lose. Especially not you…”
Olivia scrunches her face. Then, she breaks into cold, wet tears.
I step toward her again and wrap her in my arms once again.
“I know, Olivia,” I whisper to her. “We can keep going for as long as it takes.”
CHAPTER FIVE
Olivia
I’m running outside of Rachel’s house towards the street. Fiona and her husband, Jesse, are waiting for me.
It’s cold outside, even for the end of October. Little children dressed up to trick or treat seem to think nothing of icy gusts of wind as they race excitedly out of their houses.
Each home has a garish looking jack-o-lantern in its front yard flickering orange-yellow. Honestly, I just want to kick them down right now. I’m so fucking mad.
Wait, Olivia. You were supposed to remember what Brett…what Bret…Oh no. I think to myself. Whatever I’m supposed to remember is gone…
“Olivia, what are you doing? Get the hell over here!” Fiona says, popping open the door. “Omigod, what happened. Your face is drenched!”
“We had a terrible fight,” I admit to her.
“You and Rachel?” She asks.
“Me and Brett,” I tell her.
“You’re still seeing him?” She asks.
There’s an easily perceptible judgment in Fiona’s tone that she doesn’t bother to hide.
Sometimes I just want to shake Fiona. She’s just so goody-good all the time. But, tonight, I don’t have the strength.
She can see the world in black and white because she has the perfect husband. The rest of us have to deal with the fact that who we love is about the furthest thing from perfect there is.
And yet, even now, as I wipe the tears off my puffed out cheeks—feeling like the most pathetic bitch in the entire god damn world. I still love him so much. But, I won’t let myself love him, except from afar. I promise myself that much.
“Jesse refuses to grow up and get a car with more than two seats so you can sit in my lap Olivia,” Fiona says.
She giggles nervously, trying to cheer me up. I can’t say that it’s working, but I appreciate the effort.
Fiona gets in first, and then Jesse runs around to help me up onto her lap because I’m too damn distraught to lift myself.
Once we’re all situated in the car, we slowly pull out of the driveway. Silently, I say good riddance to the memory of Brett and me. If he doesn’t want me so badly that he’d say such hurtful things, then maybe he doesn’t love me after all. Older guys like him play innocent, sheltered girls like me for fools all the time. Lesson learned.
Brett walks outside.
Jesse doesn’t stop the car, and I don’t ask him to. Still, I can’t rip my eyes away from Brett as he pulls out a cigarette and lights it. It’s a habit I know for a fact Brett quit over a year ago because I made him. It makes me angry that he should indulge himself in one now. Brett is acting as though he’s the one who just had his heartbroken. He doesn’t need comfort because he did the wrecking. I’m the damn wreckage.
We begin to drive away down the narrow street in front of Rachel’s house. Though it requires me to have my tits in Fiona’s face, I turn around in her lap and lean over the backrest. I want to watch Brett for as long as I can. I only get a few more seconds to remember his image before someone’s inflatable Frankenstein obstructs my view. Seems fitting…
Then, all of a sudden, I remember everything…
“Stop the car…” I say to Jesse.
“What?” He asks, confused.
“STOP THE DAMN CAR!” I scream at him.
I startle Jesse so much he nearly swerves off of the road into an Oak tree.
He straightens out again and then pulls into an open parking space on the street.
Fiona turns back and glares at me. But, I don’t have time for her. I have to get back to Brett because I suddenly remember he didn’t mean it. However, as I open my mouth to ask Jesse to drive me back to Rachel’s house, I suddenly lose the will.
It occurs to me that I don’t care if Bret has a reason for treating me like shit and destroying our relationship. He did it. That’s all that matters. I broke my rule never to lose at anything in life. I won’t be made a loser a second time. I can’t. Not with my heart. It might just kill me.
“Never mind,” I say to Jesse.
“Are you sure?” Fiona asks.
“Yes,” I say back, sucking in a deep breath of regret.
CHAPTER SIX
/> Brett
“What the hell, Olivia?!” I yell as soon as she takes off the machine. “Why didn’t you go back to my sister’s house?”
“I don’t know…” she says, looking down at her feet.
“I really thought…When I was watching, you remember that I didn’t mean what I said that night. I thought you’d come back, and we would have finally figured things out between us,” I say. “So that we can be together, Olivia. Wasn’t that the deal you made to me? That if we could get back together in Autumn View, you’d take me back in real life?”
“It is,” she says, still not looking at me. “I don’t know what to tell you. I guess we need to keep on working at it.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” I nod. “I mean, I just—”
“What?” She cuts in, and I notice that her voice cracks.
The emotionless statue she’s been attempting to portray herself as suddenly breaks into a cascade of emotions.
I can’t tell her what I meant. I can’t even let her know that I’m starting to believe that this machine won’t work for us. In fact, it’s just making us resent each other more. No matter what we do. It just tears us further apart.
“I’ll go next,” I mutter.
“Where?” She asks. “When?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I reply. “You’ll see it on the monitor here. Right?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Well, just be careful. Things were beginning to feel…unstable in there.”
“How do you mean?” I ask. “What could happen?”
